It was as if Severus and I had never happened. We didn't look at each other; talk to each other, or even about each other. Harry noticed quickly and he always seemed to be stood beside me whenever I ran into Severus alone in a corridor. McGonagall had also noticed it and I couldn't help but notice that she looked at me sadly most of the time now, guilt seemed to be flooding the castle and the mood was quickly becoming that most accustomed to funerals. Although many were now excited about the first Hogsmeade visit of the year but I couldn't face it and so on the first Saturday of October I wished the twins and Angelina goodbye as they toddled off into the village, ignoring George's offers of company. I wanted some time alone to adjust properly to being back here and the teachers had already piled homework on me so I found myself spending most of the morning, and afternoon, lost in the stacks in the library, my quill scratching away feverishly.
Everywhere in the castle was silent, the first and second years choosing to run around and enjoy the last of the sunshine, October already promising to be much colder than September with its chilling breezes and grey skies. I wandered up to the owlery to visit Iris who hooted happily as I sat with her, finishing the last of Severus's essay. Potions had been hell on Wednesday. He hadn't even sniffed in my direction and I'd left the classroom two hours later, not upset but angry. He couldn't ignore me, that wasn't fair. We'd both done things that were wrong and both of us were hurting from the others mistakes but we couldn't allow our cover to slip, he was still my professor, and I his student. As I tied a length of string around the parchment tightly I noticed the small silver chain still hanging from my wrist. It shone in the light and Iris nipped at it as it waved in front of her face. "I know baby, I know."
And so I found myself wandering back down to the dungeons, hoping I would be able to leave the bracelet in his classroom without him noticing, most of the teachers chose to spend the weekends hidden away in their lodgings or offices and I could only hope that Severus had done the same, yet I wasn't to be so lucky. As I placed the chain quietly down on the desk beside a large black candle a soft voice rang out behind me, "you should keep it." My fingers dropped completely from the chain and it rattled as it hit the oak desk. "No, I shouldn't." He'd closed the door behind him silently and as I made my way to the door he took my arm. "I can't do this Lena. I can't just sit back and watch. I can't. You'll never forgive me, no matter what, but I just wish you would give me the chance to make it up to you." I turned slowly to him and all I saw in his eyes was a flash of hope.
"He got what he wanted didn't he. He took everything." The sob broke from my throat and he took me warmly in his arms, and stood with my cheek pressed against his cheek I could think of nothing I wanted more. "I'm so sorry Lena, I really am." I looked up at him and he brushed a tear from my face and I found myself reaching up, kissing away the tear that rolled down his own cheek. "I'm sorry too, I should never have let myself go near Remus. I missed you, I needed you and you weren't there." "I'll never leave you, ever again. Even if it means exposing everything that we are, I'll do it." I pressed a gentle kiss against his lips and he lifted me easily from the floor, holding me in his arms as he kissed me hotly, everything we hadn't said or done for the last three weeks rolling into one crazy stupid kiss that lasted so much longer than any other and when we parted we found ourselves breathless in each other's arms. "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry."
He reached back down and within seconds his fingers were laced gently around my wrist, pushing the clasp shut on my tiny peony chain. "I've missed you so much," He nuzzeled my neck and I kissed his cheek, "I know, George told me," his head snapped up, "Weasley, he knows?" I nodded and he sighed, "We aren't very good at this are we," I took his mouth and kissed him hotly, but as his mouth traced my neck and pushed back the arm on my jumper to gain access to my shoulder, he drew a ragged, sharp breath." I looked from him and he returned my sleeve gently. "Can we go to your room, this doesn't feel right." I took his hand and led him quietly from the classroom, away to the door that I knew I could open with a simple flick of my wand. Once we were inside, I pulled him down to the love seat and wrapped myself tightly in his arms.
"You promise you'll never leave me again?" I turned my head and saw the brief moment of hurt fly through his eyes, "You really have to ask that?" I kissed his cheek and lay my head back against his chest. "He hurt me so much Sev, I wanted to die." He squeezed me tightly and pressed his lips against my forehead gently, "I couldn't live without you Lena, never." My fingers traced his hands that were wrapped snuggly around my waist. "In a way, I think I'm glad it wasn't with you, because then I don't know whether I'd ever look at you without seeing the pain, the blood." He swallowed hard behind me and I pushed myself further into him, wanting to be close to him. "If I'd only been a few minutes earlier," "Please, don't Severus, it wasn't your fault." I squeezed his hand tightly. "It wasn't your fault." I repeated it, but only in a murmur, "It wasn't your fault wither Lena," and I smiled weakly up at him, knowing that was what he wanted to see, but my insides curdled and stewed, if only I'd kept my necklines higher- my skirt length lower, not tried so hard to tempt Severus, maybe he wouldn't have been so tempted.
"Do you still want me Sev?" he squeezed me a little more forcefully and I felt his mouth in my hair, beside my ear, "always Lena," and there it was, that familiar lust and need, that little pool of passion in my stomach. I stood and took his hand again, leading him over to his bedroom. The curtains still hung heavily over the windows and I sat him gently on the bed, standing in front of him, his hands holding me firmly on the hips. I flicked my wand and the candles around the walls flitted alight, throwing a golden glow over the dark room. I pulled my jumper over my head and then my shirt, and being unable to wear underwear in such a state I found myself standing there in front of him with a bare chest. He breathed in sharply at the sight of the bite marks on my breast, the yellowing bruise across my stomach. I kept my eyes steady on his as they flitted across my body, taking in every bite and scratch. His eyes lingered on the wound down my side and I flinched helplessly as he trailed his fingers gently down it. I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them from my hips and couldn't help but feel upset when Severus flinched at the sight of my legs. Dark purple bruises spread out from my hips, over my thighs and his contorted in pain as I opened my legs a little, allowing the candle light to catch the reflection of the deep jagged wounds over the insides of my thighs.
Sev pulled me towards him and stood so that he stood a head above me, his hands warm against my cool skin. He kissed my lips gently and his mouth moved down my neck, over the scars on collarbone and down over the bite wounds and scratches over my breast, over the bruise on my stomach and the wound down my side. My hand was against the back of his head, pushing him into me as closely as I could, wanting nothing more than to feel his sweet kisses all over my body. He lay me down as he started to kiss my legs, and his lips seemed to flutter over my skin, hardly leaving any pressure but giving me that thrill of touch all the same. He lay down beside me and took me in his arms, holding me gently.
"You'll always be beautiful to me Lena, no matter what he's done to you," I smiled happily up at him but was stopped short with a flash of fresh pain through my stomach, I curled up and cried a little in pain. Sev's hands were gentle on my back and I rocked a little, waiting for the pain to subside.
But it didn't and quickly I was rolled up on Severus's bed, clutching my stomach in pain as Severus rocked me, his hands running softly through my hair. "Maybe I should get Poppy," I shook my head and bit my lip as a particularly bad wave of pain rolled through my stomach and caused me to call out, "Severus, bathroom, now," He picked me up without another word and within seconds I found myself sat silently rocking on the toilet, the pain surging in waves. Severus perched on the edge of the bath with his hands cradling mine and my body shook hard with pain as I felt my insides being ripped away again. I whimpered in pain and Severus shushed me quietly. It came thick and fast and although it only lasted a few minutes, Severus had to carry me back through to the bedroom, so weak that I could no longer carry my own weight.
"I'm going to get Poppy," I grabbed his wrist, "Please Severus, its fine, please, just stop." He gave in and sat beside me, stroking my hair as the last of the tears dried up. "It's happened a few more times since I've been back but it doesn't last that long," He stroked a stray tear from my chin, worry clear on his face, "It should have stopped by now Lena, this isn't right." I took his hand and stroked his thumb tenderly, "It is, Madame Pomfrey said it takes a lot more to, to, when it's from purebloods, they're stronger and it takes a lot more. Seriously Severus, its fine. My body's trying to get back to, to normal." I attempted to reassure him with a smile, but it didn't work and he glared down at me angrily. "You should have told me. I should have been there. No wonder you ran for the wolf." I squeezed his thumb and I pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. "Can we forget about the Remus thing, it was a mistake, I won't let it happen again, I promise." He kissed me a little harder and I wriggled beneath his warmth, happiness overtaking the pain, and flooding my veins warmly. "I love you Lena Black, never forget that," "How could I?"