I woke with a start, footsteps were falling heavily outside the door and I turned in bed, a crisp white light shining through a gap in the curtains illuminating the pile of clothes at the end of everyone's beds. Finally, the holidays. My trunk was packed tightly, awaiting the house elves arrival to carry them to the carriages, and my stomach growled hungrily. I was excited, of course I was, to be with Dad and Remus again, but dread filled my stomach. Severus had a job to do, he'd be away for the first week of the holidays and I probably wouldn't see him till after Christmas itself.

I knew the dread wasn't for Saying goodbye to Severus, we'd been apart for longer, no, the dread was due to the fear I held that this time he would return in much worse condition than the last time. I knew the wounds still ailed him, especially when he held me close to himself, but I knew he'd no let me fuss over him.

I pulled on jeans and a hoody, knotting my hair loosely at the nape of my neck as I ran down the stairs to the common room. I stopped quickly at seeing the look on Hermione's face; she stood solemnly beside Professor McGonagall, whose expression was just as grave. My heart started to flutter, imagining the worst, and I felt the dread in my stomach bloom. My fingers shook as I held myself steady. Not dad, not dad, please not dad. "Lena, I'm afraid something terrible has happened, come please." I took Hermione's hand and we followed McGonagall silently to Dumbledore's stone gargoyle.

McGonagall opened the door, pushing Hermione and I towards the headmaster's desk. He sat quietly, fingers laced tightly under his chin. "I am afraid Arthur Weasley was attacked last night. His children and Harry left early this morning to be with him. Lena, your father has asked that I send you home immediately, you will travel by portkey, Professor Snape will be accompanying you," he gave me a knowing look. "I am afraid, Miss Granger, your parents are expecting you on the express and so I cannot allow you to accompany Miss Black. You will, however, be able to travel later by knight bus, if you desire to do so." Hermione's hand was still wrapped tightly in my own and her nails bit into the soft flesh of my palm.

I hugged her strongly, wiping the tears from her cheeks, "He'll be okay, I promise," I turned to Dumbledore, "He will be okay wont he sir?" No expression crossed his face, but his eyes glittered in the candlelight. "He receives the best possible treatment at St. Mungos, Molly is by his side. I'm afraid, Miss Granger, I must ask you to leave, the portkey leaves soon and I have a small matter to discuss with Miss Black before she leaves." I hugged Hermione tightly, she couldn't speak and McGonagall guided her gently from the office.

"Professor?" he smiled weakly at me, "Lena, you should know I have asked Severus to…travel for me again. I assure you, he will be quite alright, Voldemort needs him now more than ever, he fears I am forming an army, he's not much wrong there I suppose," I smiled weakly.

So I was losing him again. Losing him to Dumbledore and this game he was playing.

There was a soft knock, and the door clicked close softly as a cloaked figure came to stand in front of me. "Headmaster, I'm here as instructed, I thought I was to leave this evening?" I stood, without a word, my eyes raking Severus's back, begging him to turn and notice me, but he didn't, so I stood silently, waiting.

"I must ask you to do one more thing Severus, I doubt you'll find it a difficult task," "Of course Albus, but what…"Dumbledore had motioned to me and I stepped forwards. Severus started on seeing me, "Miss Black." "Professor."

"Albus, what's the meaning of this?" "Miss Black must return home immediately, I wondered if you'd care to escort her, ensure she returns safely." Severus looked at me, the cold expression on his face softening, the warmth I knew so well filling his eyes." "Yes Professor, of course, Miss Black's safety is, as with all other students, of the upmost importance." "As I thought, very well, the portkey is set to leave in 10 minutes, I think that should be adequate for the necessary…goodbyes, I doubt they will be possible at your destination; Sirius always was a worrier." Dumbledore had risen from his desk and passed by me to the door. "A very Merry Christmas to you Miss Black, and all the best to your father." He winked down at me, "And the same to you Professor." He slid from the room with a knowing look at Severus and a sweeping glance at the portraits upon the walls.

"How long will you be gone?" my voice was quiet and I watched the muscles clench in Severus's back. "I have no idea Lena, it may be a few days, maybe a few weeks." "You'll miss Christmas." He nodded slowly and turned to face me, "If there was a way Lena," "No Severus," I reached forward and took his hands " you need to do this, I can wait right, always is a long time." I smiled up at him but his face remained stony as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. "Promise, when you're back you'll write me and let me know you're safe?" his arms were almost suffocating but I held on even tighter, feeling somehow that this goodbye meant something more, "I'll let you know when I'm home, maybe you could still come to Spinner's for a few days." I nodded, kissing him softly as I pulled away, "Be safe." He wiped a few stray tears from my cheeks and looked around nervously. "The portrait, Severus, we shouldn't have…" he smiled gently. "They've seen much worse Lena, Albus had an…acquired taste and he was quite the romantic in his day. They understand that this office calls for certain measures of confidentiality"

"That does not mean, traitor that I should not tell my great-great- grandson of this and if you think differently, you are sorely wrong." A large portrait above Dumbledore's chair looked angrily down at us. "Phineas, you know your place. You will not do anything of the sort, I'm afraid if you did, you may find yourself in another room in the castle after Christmas. I daresay the Hufflepuff's common Room would suit you greatly." I loosened my grip on Severus's hand and wandered forwards to read the little plaque beneath the raven haired figure. "We're related?" I looked up at the man's aging face to see my own eyes look back at me. "I'm afraid so young lady, and I expect better behaviour from the black family kin. Although with a father like yours, it's no wonder." I shook my head up at him, "My father's twice the man you ever could have been." I returned to Severus's side, kissing him gently once more.

"Ready?" I nodded as the room was filled with a soft humming as the teacup on Dumbledore's desk appeared to shimmer. As we each lay our hands on the cups chipped rim, my ears were filled with an angry buzzing and I was pulled away from the warmth of the headmaster's office and back towards the chilly hallways of home.

I landed in a heap on the kitchen floor, the cold stone bruising my hip. "Oh Lena!" Hands were helping me up and I struggled to me feet, pulling the zip of my hoody closer to my throat as an icy breeze whipped through the kitchen. Dad's arms were warm around me and he squeezed me tightly. "How is he?" "Molly's with him." Dad's voice was solemn and I squeezed his hand tightly. The kitchen was otherwise empty, but for the two men that stood glaring at each other bitterly in the corner.

"Remus!" I took his hand and led him from the corner, breaking the resentful staring match he shared with Severus. He pulled me into his arms and I felt his hands knot safely behind my back. "How are you doing?" I nodded in response and shrugged as I pulled away from him, registering a slight hissing noise from the corner. I stuck my hand out in Severus's general direction, "Thank you Professor, for everything." His face was sincere as he took my hand. "Merry Christmas Sir." I wished in that moment that we were alone, seeing the sadness in his eyes. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and kiss him till he smiled that gloriously easy smile he had. I wanted him to push me back onto the kitchen table and kiss every last inch of me until my skin tingled with the icy electricity that flooded my veins every time he touched me.

"Yes Snape, I think it's time you left." Dad held the kitchen door for him and Severus dropped my hand regrettably. "Merry Christmas Miss Black." As I watched him glide down the hallway to the front door, I felt the air leave my body, and I crumpled down into my favourite chair by the fire. He'd be back, safely, or he'd write like he said he would and then I could visit him at Spinner's end.

Everything would be alright. It had to be.

There are no words to describe how sorry I am that I haven't uploaded. Everything has been crazy here and suddenly it's as if I'm living another life! Not only do I have Lena's boy troubles to worry about anymore, suddenly I'm surrounded by own!

Pleas bare with me as I adjust back to writing. It's the holidays now so we should easily be managing three chapters a week ;)

Thank you to all who have stuck with me, thank you for your continued support.

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Lots of Love to you all

Kat xxxxx