I told him everything. How I hadn't meant to fall for Severus, how we'd tried not to want one another and how that was never going to work. I could see the disappointment and the disgust in his face, but in his eyes? Well, in his eyes I could see he understood, he could see how much we were like him and mum and how I was never going to let Severus go.
He told me how he called out for Mum almost every night, her crumpled body plaguing his mind. I listened, I tried. I tried to hate him. Tried. And no matter how hard I did, I still couldn't. Neither of us cried. I don't think there were any tears left. I was glad. I didn't want my love for Severus to be my weakness any more.
When it was done, and everything said I stood from my place on the bed and grabbed my trunk handle. "Lena, please don't…" I shook my head, "I think we just need some space. I need some space. Not just from you, from Remus as well. Help him Sirius, to realise it will never be him, help him realise I love Severus." He looked like he was going to cry but he didn't. Instead he came to stand beside me, his hand on his shoulder. I hugged him tightly. It wasn't his fault. He didn't really know me. I wasn't so sure he ever would, but we could try. We just needed some time to deal with our own problems. I had to push Remus away and stop using him as my fall guy and Sirius needed to deal with his guilt. He had a lot of guilt. Me, Mum, Regulus, Harry. Everyone he'd left or lost had taken a piece of him with them. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted us to be a family.
Hermione was a whole different matter. That was his boundary to set, not mine. But I was very aware that they avoided each other now, spoke a lot less, and walked out the room when the other walked in. There was something there but he knew he needed to stop, for her sake and Ron's. They would be together, everyone knew it, maybe just not them.
"Maybe I will take a few days with Ma and Pa, get some sun, eat some bread," I tried to keep it light hearted but I think we both knew it wouldn't just be a few days. "I'm sorry Sirius." "Please stop with the Sirius, it just reminds me I've made you mad, back to Dad again please." I nodded and hugged him again. "I'll use floo. It will be faster than me getting a flight. I'll be back soon Dad, okay?" He squeezed me tighter before taking the floo powder pot from the wardrobe and placing by my fireplace. "I'm sorry Lena, you love him, I have no right to stop that." I just nodded and dragged my trunk over to the fireplace. "Dad go, see Remus, I'll be fine, I'm going to just pop to the bathroom first." I placed my trunk in the fireplace and walked Dad out the door. As he descended the stairs I called him back, "Dad?" He nodded, "I love you." He smiled, his goofy handsome smile and I could see how mum fell for him; how Hermione was falling for him. "Stay out of trouble, I love you too." I smiled, but instead of walking to the bathroom I hurried back into my room, locking the door behind me. Dad heard my door close and I could hear his footsteps running back up the stairs, his fist banging on my door. "Lena? What are you doing? Lena?" "I love you Dad." The last thing I heard as I pulled my trunk into the fireplace beside me was Dad shouting through the door asking where I was going but as he pounded his fist again and again I threw a handful of powder and said the only place I wanted to be right now, "Spinner's end."