A/N: I know that many people are angry at Dianna for not being in the memorial episode, but we should all remember that she had other commitments due to her movie releasing. This chapter will deal with Quinn and why she didn't/couldn't go to the memorial for Finn. Be prepared for some angst. Usual disclaimers: I don't own anything.

Chapter 2

The alarm blared unforgivingly at 6:30 a.m. Quinn threw off her covers with a huff and stretched the kinks out of her body. The cold weather in New Haven wreaked havoc on her former injuries. Her back and legs often ached. Climbing out of bed carefully, she headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. Once in the shower, with the hot water turned up, Quinn broke down and began sobbing. She hadn't stopped crying for weeks. Every day, without fail, she cried in the shower. Horrible racking sobs that left her feeling raw and aching. Finn's death had devastated her and left her feeling angry and guilty. All she saw were the mistakes she had made with him. Her lies and betrayal of his trust, the disappointment of their relationship failing not once, but twice, and other memories all knotted together in her chest. Her heart hurt and she was lost in a maze of guilt and anger.

Almost all of the gleeks had called or emailed to tell her the news and invite her to the memorial, but she couldn't make herself go. She was so angry. She was mad at Finn for dying. How dare he do this to everyone. She was mad at herself for being angry with him and she was most of all she felt tormented over how much she had hated him and loved him in almost equal measure. The guilt and grief she felt only fed her anger. She had taken their friendship for granted and she had let her feelings keep them apart, but the worst part was knowing why she hated him more than she had loved him. Quinn felt burdened for hating him, because he had the one thing she wanted and didn't deserve.

Quinn choked back her tears and finished her shower. She put her walls up and plastered her cool and disinterested smile on her face as she dressed and headed to the school cafeteria for breakfast. She just couldn't face anyone from McKinley. There were too many memories and emotions. If she went to Finn's memorial, it would break her. Her walls would crumble and there would be nothing left. So she held tight to her emotions and willed herself to face the day.

Quinn held her books to her chest as she hurried across campus to her next class. Her legs and back still ached. New Haven was having an early onset of frigid weather even though it was still early fall . The cold bleak weather reflected her mood. She entered her building and quickly found her classroom. The blonde sighed in relief as she sank into her chair and shed her coat and scarf. She glanced around the auditorium at the dozen other students in her English class. Quinn had wanted to explore literature, as it was a love of her, so she had enrolled in an elective class that looked at the correlation between literature and film. So far the class had read and watched Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz. Quinn loved Alice in Wonderland: it had been her favorite book for many years and it had been wonderful to immerse herself in the story and compare it to the film. She sometimes yearned to escape to places like Neverland, Wonderland, and Oz. Her musings were interrupted by the professor, who was introducing their next novel, Stardust.

Quinn's emotions, which had been on a tight leash since the morning, were let loose. The mere mention of stars and true love was enough to cause tears. In an effort to escape the suddenly claustrophobic auditorium, the blonde stood up, quickly gathered her things, and rushed from the room.

Once outside, Quinn took deep breaths in an attempt to keep calm. Feeling herself starting to hyperventilate, she grabbed her phone and opened the photos. Her breathing immediately started to calm when her eyes found the picture of herself and Rachel smiling at the camera. Santanna had taken that the night the three of them went out to dinner in New York. It was Quinn's favorite picture and she looked at it at least once a day, more since Finn's death. It soothed and calmed her.

Still staring at the phone, the blonde took refuge on a bench. Looking at the photo of Rachel, she felt the heaviness of guilt press on her chest once again. She had wanted to support Rachel and offer comfort after Finn's passing, but couldn't make herself go. The knowledge that Rachel had been hurting added to the pressure in Quinn's heart. Absently, she pulled the train pass out of her pocket and ran her fingers over the letters. The pass was well-worn, despite only having used it a few times. Quinn often fingered the plastic, longing to visit her friends.

She had begun removing herself from their lives after Mr. Shue's failed nuptials. Her main purpose in attending had been to catch up with her friends. She had especially been looking forward to seeing Rachel, but never got a chance because Finn monopolized the little brunette's time. Quinn had seen them disappear into the hotel together. Bitterly jealous and more than a little drunk, Quinn had hooked up with Santanna.

Although Quinn regretted the reason behind having sex with Santanna, she did not regret the act itself. It only confirmed something she had suspected for some time. What caused Quinn the most pain that fateful weekend was the fact that Rachel had ignored her. The little diva hadn't even said hello. Hurt and angry, Quinn had dejectedly decided to slowly withdraw from Rachel's life. It was obvious that the brunette would never see anyone but Finn and for her own sanity, Quinn needed to move on and find someone else. Only a masochist would try and remain friends with the object of her affections.

The process was easy at first. Rachel didn't contact her at all for several weeks and feeling more than a little weird about her liaison with Santanna, she didn't make an effort either. In fact, Quinn only heard about Rachel's auditions through Santanna. The only message she received from the diva was part of a mass text telling everyone about her callback for Fanny. It was soon after that Rachel began the barrage of messages. The girl emailed, texted, and called every day for two weeks. By that point, Quinn was wounded by the diva's ability to forget about her and refused to acknowledge the messages. Quinn felt that Rachel only remembered her because of Finn, not for her own merit.

Almost on cue, the blonde's cellphone pinged with a new message from Rachel: Where are you? Please tell me you're ok. I really want to talk to you. Quinn's fingers hovered over the screen as she debated whether or not to reply. Before she could change her mind the Yale student pressed a few buttons and hit send.

A/N: Slight cliffhanger for you. Rate and review please and be kind, as I'm new to writing stories. Feedback helps me improve. All mistakes are mine as I don't have a beta.

What do you think of Quinn and Rachel? They have some issues to resolve before romance can even be on the table. Be patient.