Chapter Fifteen – Down the Ladder
Sirius dropped into his chair. "Two hundred and twenty-five."
Lily looked at him sweetly. "How many times you've stared off dramatically into the distance this week?"
"Line number, of course. Please, don't allow my dashing looks to distract you."
"I'd never dare. I wouldn't want my throat cut—or," she said, mouth slipping into a mischievous smile, "she doesn't go for the throat, does she?"
He arched an eyebrow at her. "Such enormous assumptions you're making there."
She raised an eyebrow back at him. "Did you want to deny it?"
"So," he said, picking up the map, "two hundred and twenty-five. No idea what to do with that."
"Two hundred and twenty-five." Lily tapped her fingers on the table. "Two hundred and twenty-five."
"Or two-two-five."
"Could be. Two inches over, two inches down…five something."
"Letters? B-B-E, unless I'm mistaken…. Or it's B-Y, or…."
"V-E." She looked down at her location list. "Nothing jumps out at me."
He heaved a sigh. "Of course not."
"Right. Well, keep looking through Sophocles for phrase references anyway, would you? I'll see if I can find two-two-five or B-B-E or something in the locations."
But even when Peter worked with them after his shift on watch, they couldn't think of any sensible way to use the line number. Sirius didn't find references in the books to the other clues, and they eventually gave up for the evening.
They sat through a morose dinner together. It had been nearly two weeks since land, and the aftereffects of their night of fun had already worn off. There was only so long humans could stand to be cooped up on a ship.
Or cats, as it turned out.
Algernon kept hopping up on laps during the meal, demanding to be petted. Peter fed him some scrap bits of dinner, but Algernon promptly went into the corner and sicked them back up.
Lily sympathized with Algernon. Not because of the food—Caradoc was withdrawn, even for Caradoc, but it hadn't affected his cooking skills—but because the closer they drew to the end of the meal, the more her stomach seemed to toss and turn. It didn't help that the weather had turned slightly sour, with high waves rocking the ship back and forth.
While Caradoc cleared dishes, Dorcas summoned Lily down to the magazine, plowing ahead without a second thought. The waves were less noticeable below deck, but Lily still had to pause at one point halfway across the deck to catch her balance.
Dorcas's feet, on the other hand, carried her with perfect grace to the magazine. She muttered a spell at the door and heaved it open.
James had left one candle burning on the wall inside, casting the room in long shadows. Toward the back corner, the Death Eater sat on a steel chair fused to the ground, thick chains attaching her wrists to the back frame, her ankles manacled to the legs.
A murderer. Or so Lily had been told. It seemed unlikely, really, that this woman so thoroughly restrained to a chair had murdered Muggles for the fun of it.
She was surprisingly pretty, with soft features and gray eyes that narrowed as she watched them approach.
Dorcas folded her arms. "We're practicing spellwork on you. Nothing harmful."
"Oh, joy," said the Death Eater. "Unless you've got more Veritaserum, I'm not telling you anything."
"No," Lily said. "Really. I'm not here to do anything but, er, Stun you."
"Repeatedly," Dorcas added.
The Death Eater looked at Lily skeptically. "Of course you are."
"I'm told it's harmless," Lily said uncertainly.
"You're what, eighteen? Twenty? And claiming you're here to practice a fourth-year spell? At least try to come up with a good lie."
Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Ignore her, Lily. Cast away."
Lily pulled the wand out of her pocket and shifted into the position Remus had taught her.
"Oh, but you've ended up with my wand." The Death Eater's bright eyes flashed, her mouth cocked in a smirk. "Must've lost yours then. Hopeless as a witch, I bet. Unless…. You're a dirty little Mudblood, aren't you? Weak and pathetic—"
Hot anger flashed through Lily, and her arm snapped into position. "Stupefy."
Red light shot out from her wand, but the boat rocked, and Lily's arm wavered as she shifted her weight to her other foot. The spell landed squarely on the woman's shoulder, and the Death Eater jerked, her eyelids fluttering.
The anger bled out of Lily, quickly replaced by gnawing guilt as the woman recovered.
"You're not...not actually learning that, are you?" The woman shook her head a little. "Oh, dear, it looks like maybe you're not a liar, you're just incompetent."
"Shut it." Lily's hand tightened around the wand.
"Make me."
Dorcas nodded for Lily to try again. "More power."
Lily pressed her lips together. "Stupefy!"
The spell landed closer to the woman's chest this time, near her clavicle, and her head lolled forward, wisps of hair hanging down from her face. She could have been dead, if it weren't for the gentle rise and fall of her chest; if Lily had spoken different words, if Lily had had worse intentions.
It would be as easy as this, if she wanted to kill someone.
"Better," Dorcas said.
Lily swallowed hard, her wand hand dropping a little. "Dorcas, I'm not…."
"You're getting there."
The woman's head stirred once, and she slowly lifted her head to look up at Lily, raising her eyebrows. "Yes, better. Almost convinced me you had any idea what you were doing. This is why we have to get rid of all of you weaklings polluting the bloodlines. D'you even know what wandlore is? My wand'll never work for someone like you—"
"Again," Dorcas said.
But Lily shook her head, letting her wand hand fall to her side. "No. I'm done."
Dorcas stared at her. "You haven't even fully Stunned her yet."
"I don't care," Lily said briskly. "I'll practice on someone else. Maybe Caradoc will help me during his free shift, or something." She spun around and marched out of the magazine.
"Coward," the Death Eater called before the door clanged shut.
Lily sank to the floor outside, wrapping her arms around her knees and squeezing her eyes shut.
The thought of ever being stuck frozen like she had that night—the thought of falling prey to something even worse…. She'd had many dreams in the past two weeks, some of them featuring James, but even more in which she sat crouched on the ground, hand outstretched. The woman or Severus or an unknown figure advanced on her, wand in hand, and shouted out spell after spell at her, while her screams lay trapped in her throat.
And even though the woman had taunted Lily, she must have been afraid, must have—and had, in fact—suspected that they'd come to torture her.
Or worse.
She probably had no idea she'd nearly been voted dead.
But even if it wasn't torture—even if it wasn't intended to hurt the woman—Lily couldn't cast anything on her again.
Dorcas joined Lily after a minute and held out a hand. Lily didn't hesitate in grasping it.
"Sorry," Lily said, letting Dorcas help pull her up.
Dorcas looked at her strangely. "You should've said something earlier. But let's go practice upstairs – maybe you can hit Sirius when he's not watching. I'll authorize that as boatswain and as your instructor."
Lily smiled weakly. "Sounds good to me."
In her dreams that night, Lily relived the minor hex war she and Dorcas had held with Sirius on the main deck, grinning madly when Dorcas managed to Petrify his wand arm, and then they were in the magazine, still smiling, and Dorcas was telling her to cast again, and she could be trusted, so Lily cast Stupefy. Her spell came out properly and landed surely on the woman's chest, and the woman hung limp in her bindings, head lolled forward again, and Lily turned to Dorcas for praise, but Dorcas was frowning, and saying that Lily had killed her. Lily's hand found the woman's pulse, or where it should have been, but there was nothing, only quickly cooling skin, and Lily's mouth dropped open, protesting she hadn't meant to, and then Dorcas and Sirius were hauling her up a staircase to the main deck and shoving her onto the plank, and then James was there, shaking his head and pushing her off, and she fell through the warm summer wind, the ocean ready to swallow her up once and for all—
Footsteps thudded against the floor.
Someone was running, coming closer—
Lily bolted up in bed, eyes straining to see in the darkness. She reached for her cutlass, but it was back in James's cabin after Marlene's lesson, and she was going to die this time, she couldn't defend herself—the wand. Her wand.
She grabbed it from her bedside, arm poised as she'd been taught, but the person ran right past her and scrambled down to the orlop deck.
Lily threw off her blanket and rushed over to the ladder. Everyone else used Deafening Charms while sleeping, but Lily hadn't learned them yet, and after the attack in the library, she had no desire to, either.
The candlelight from the orlop deck streamed up through the ladder opening. Lily couldn't see anyone and started to descend, wand tucked in her pocket.
"MARLENE MCKINNON!"
Unmistakably Dorcas's shouting.
Lily dropped to the floor and saw the door to the magazine hanging open across the deck. Dorcas stood at the threshold, wand raised, and then disappeared into the room.
Lily ran.
She skidded to a halt across the room, catching herself on the still-open door, which shifted with her weight. She leaned in to see Marlene pointing her wand sideways at Dorcas, and holding the sword at the tied up Death Eater's throat. How foolish Lily had been not to ensure Marlene returned it to James after their lesson.
Lily paused for the few seconds it took for the ship to right itself after another wave before moving forward again.
"Don't be an idiot," Dorcas said, her wand raised to point back at Marlene.
Marlene barely twitched when Lily stood next to Dorcas, only nudging the cutlass closer to the Death Eater. The awful façade of cheer had finally vanished, replaced now by lips pressed together, darting eyes, and shallow, frantic breathing.
For her part, the Death Eater remained silent, her face tight and expressionless, attention flipping between Dorcas and Lily and the sword at her throat.
A piece of parchment stuck out from Marlene's back pocket, covered in messy handwriting, and Lily's stomach dropped.
They should have expected something today, they should've thought—
But they hadn't, and all Lily could do was try to smooth things over.
"I'm not being an idiot," Marlene said. "James won't do it. But I can do it. I have to do it."
"You don't like killing," Dorcas pointed out.
"No. Of course I don't."
"So don't do it."
"I have to."
"You really don't," Lily said. Her hand slid down to her pocket, and she could feel the solid wood beneath the rough fabric of her trousers. The Death Eater's wand, now Lily's. Life could be that fickle.
Marlene's wand aimed at the space between Lily and Dorcas, and Lily stilled her hand. True, Marlene couldn't curse both of them at once, but they couldn't Stun Marlene or pull her away without risking the blade slicing into the Death Eater's throat. And if she were injured, Marlene wouldn't Heal her, and Lily had no idea whether anyone else could or would do it for her.
"But she almost killed you, Lily," Marlene said.
"I know," Lily said. "But I don't want you to kill her."
"She's going to hurt us."
"She's tied up," Dorcas reminded her. "I checked the bindings myself."
"But she could escape. She was smart enough to find us and get on board, and we know she wanted to kill us, and she will, given half a chance."
Lily watched as the Death Eater swallowed hard, her attention now riveted on Marlene's hand.
"What would your parents think?" Lily tried. "They wouldn't want you to kill someone—"
"Merlin," Marlene said, her voice cracking a bit, "it doesn't matter what they would think, does it? Because they can't think anymore because they're gone, and she's part of the reason why, and why should give her the chance to take someone else's family away—"
"You think I'll give her that chance?" Dorcas said. "You think I'll let her?"
Marlene's eyes flicked quickly between the Death Eater and Dorcas, her lips dipping into a faint frown.
She wasn't beyond reason. That was good, in a way. Except it meant she could do it.
But she hadn't done it yet.
She'd had the chance but she hadn't taken it. And she couldn't really think that Dorcas and Lily would let her do it.
She wanted to be persuaded out of it.
But then again, Dorcas did not seem so convinced, standing tense, poised to leap forward if Marlene acted. Their arms had to be growing tired now from remaining aloft for so long, but neither seemed likely to give in.
Unlike Dorcas, Lily had known Marlene for less than a month. She had a sense of Marlene's character, but it was impossible to know someone well in such a short time.
It was impossible to know whether Marlene truly meant it.
If Dorcas took this as a serious threat….
"Here's what's going to happen," Dorcas said. "You're going to leave her alone. We'll take her back to England and interrogate her more. After that…."
"No." Marlene twitched the sword, and the Death Eater flinched. "There's too much that could go wrong, and I can't—I can't let her take any of you, I can't—"
Even if they knocked Marlene out, they'd still have to keep watch on her for the rest of the trip, keep her from trying again.
She had to see sense.
"You didn't sleep for three days after you accidentally killed Yaxley," Dorcas said.
Marlene shook her head in small, sharp movements. "This is different, all right? I'm older now, and this won't be an accident, and she—"
"It won't be different. I promise you that."
Lily glimpsed sideways. Dorcas, ever stern-faced, had let her expression soften, if only a little.
"I can't lose any of you," Marlene said. "I can't—"
The room tilted as another wave slammed into the side of the ship. Lily threw out her arms to shift her weight forward, and Marlene's foot slid forward, her hand holding the sword dropping a bit to catch her balance—
The Death Eater breathed in sharply and jerked her head backwards—
Lily leaped forward and grabbed Marlene's arm, pulling the sword away from the woman's throat.
The room swung back into a gentle rocking, and Marlene stared at where the sword had nicked the Death Eater's skin. Lily hadn't let go of her arm, and the sword hung between them.
And then Lily had sole ownership of the cutlass.
It hung at her side, and it seemed like it should feel heavier, somehow, or thicker, or anything different now that it had drawn blood.
Marlene's now-free hand flew to her mouth and her wand arm dropped to her side.
She stood petrified, and so did Lily, her earlier nimbleness long gone as she hung caught in the moment, the ship rocking normally beneath their feet, once, and then twice before Marlene returned to herself.
"Oh, Merlin," Marlene said. "Oh, Merlin."
The Death Eater swallowed loudly, her face horribly pale, blood trickling in a single rivulet down her throat, disappearing under her shirt collar—
"I'm so sorry," Marlene told the woman. She lifted her wand, but her hand was shaking. "I can try—I'm not—"
"Just leave it," the woman said. "Just go, all right?"
A hand tried to take the sword from Lily, and she nearly jumped, but it was only Dorcas. Lily let her have the cutlass.
She turned back to Marlene, who was still fixated on the Death Eater's neck and swallowing compulsively, and closed the gap between them, wrapping her arms around Marlene's trembling shoulders and holding on tight.
Marlene's voice was barely audible. "I'm sorry."
"I know," Lily said, her nose in Marlene's hair. "It's okay."
Dorcas quickly patched up the wound, and Lily led them up to the common room. James approached them on the main deck with a questioning look on his face, but she discreetly shook her head, dropping the cutlass next to the door. He stopped in his tracks and nodded.
While Dorcas settled Marlene on the sofa, Lily poured the rum, and then squeezed in next to them, handing out glasses. Dorcas downed half of hers in one neat gulp. Lily took a small sip, watching Marlene hold her glass in her lap, fingers clutched around the sides, her head hanging.
"Marlene," Lily said softly. "It's all right. We care about you and we're not angry. Just talk to us, all right? Please."
Marlene rotated the glass in her hands, and Lily saw her shoulders tense up, and her eyes squeeze shut. Her hands tightened around the glass, enough that Lily grew concerned she might shatter it.
Marlene gave a small hiccup, and then another, small, delicate noises caught in the back of her throat. And then finally, finally, Marlene began to cry.
The tears came, and the pleas, and the anger, and Lily and Dorcas sat through it all. Dorcas didn't say much, but she was there, and didn't even say one thing that could have been misconstrued as harsh. Lily hummed, and nodded, and asked questions, and just let Marlene say all the words she'd pent up over two long, miserable, lonely weeks.
How her family had certain funeral rites that she would miss, how her parents had fought constantly but always made up, how her brother had secretly liked to cook but had never told anyone but Marlene.
And while she spoke, a knot uncoiled in Lily. The worst had finally come: Marlene had nearly done something awful, but she hadn't, in the end.
Eventually Marlene fell asleep curled up on the sofa while Lily stroked her unbraided hair. Lily looked up at Dorcas to find her face as inscrutable as ever, staring off into space.
Dorcas looked back at her and—well, she didn't quite smile. Dorcas didn't ever seem to fully smile. Her mouth just stretched at the sides, and she never grinned.
But she did smile a little now, grim but relieved.
Lily didn't speak for fear of waking Marlene, but she smiled back at Dorcas, and sighed. With the threat of violence long gone, her body had begun reminding her that it was the middle of the night.
But she couldn't leave Marlene and go back to bed. Not yet, anyway. Dorcas didn't get up from her chair either, not until James stopped in and beckoned them toward the door.
"All right," he said quietly, glancing at Marlene. "What happened?"
Dorcas folded her arms. "I told her to check the inventory."
"And she probably did," Lily said, "and then she went after the Death Eater with my sword."
James sighed. "I should've known something was wrong when she didn't return the cutlass after her lesson. That's on me – I didn't even realize until Remus came and found me when Dorcas ran below deck."
Lily looked back at the sofa. "Marlene backed off, though. I think—I hope she wouldn't have done it if Dorcas hadn't chased her down."
"Did you go to check up on her?" James asked Dorcas.
Dorcas shook her head. "Tracking Charm."
"What?" he said, and then lowered his voice. "When did you cast that?"
"Right after the vote."
"Dorcas."
"Paid off, didn't it?"
"What?" Lily said.
James fixed Dorcas with a stern look. "As Dorcas well knows, there's no way of breaking a Tracking Charm once you've cast it until you touch the subject's skin. It constantly pulls at you, bothering you to go break it. It's exceptionally annoying."
Lily frowned. "Isn't that the spell you cast on me in Oporto?"
Dorcas's eyebrows shot up.
He waved a hand. "I knew I could find you. Or that you'd take it off yourself – the target can end it if they know it's there. Or they can run away and let the spell torment you forever. You see, Lily," he said, throwing a patronizing glance at Dorcas, "as every advanced Charms student knows, letting the spell go on for too long has historically caused madness in the caster."
Dorcas shrugged. "It worked."
"Don't do it again. I need you sane and healthy for this mission, all right?"
She studied the ceiling and quirked her mouth to the side.
"Meadowes."
"I won't let it run so long next time."
"Not quite," James sighed. "But good enough. Sirius will be up in a bit – tell him to put the wards back the way they were. Dorcas, I'll leave you to whatever, and Lily, go back to sleep, yeah? We need you well rested."
"I'll be with Marlene in here."
"So long as you sleep." One hand absently threaded through his hair. "Good night. Or good morning. Whichever you feel like pretending it is. I'll leave you to ponder these serious issues and see you later either way."
Dorcas followed him out onto the deck, and Lily turned back toward Marlene.
The others probably knew how to turn a chair into a sofa, but that hadn't been covered in Remus's defense-based curriculum quite yet. She curled up in one of the maroon chairs, resting her head on the armrest. It was terribly uncomfortable, but she fell asleep almost instantly, a slight smile on her face.
Marlene was gone when Lily awoke to the sounds of clattering plates.
"I'm so sorry," Caradoc said. "I tried to be quiet."
"Just as well," Lily said through a yawn. "I've got things to do today." She stood up and stretched out her back. It twinged in a few spots, but she'd slept in worse places.
She sat down at the table while the plates whirled around her, utensils settling into place. He'd already brought up the kettle, and she poured herself a much-needed cup of tea.
Caradoc sent the milk and sugar her way with a flick of his wand. "Marlene's out on duty, but she looks well, all things considered."
"I take it you heard about our adventure last night."
"Sirius told me. Or at least, he told me what he'd heard."
"It's not that complicated. But after, she—" Lily paused. "I think she's turned a corner."
Caradoc favored her with one of his gentle smiles. "That's really, really good to hear."
The door swung open and Sirius strolled in, Algernon close behind. "What's for breakfast, then?"
"Bacon sandwiches." Caradoc finished setting the table and headed for the door. "Back in a moment."
Sirius sat down next to Lily, while Algernon wound around her legs. She reached down to let him run his cheek against her hand.
"Morning to both of you," she said.
"Not a good one, so thanks for omitting that."
"I don't think what happened last night means we can't have a good morning."
"Hm?" Sirius said. "Nah, I meant, tomorrow's the day."
Whatever knot had disappeared from her stomach the night before suddenly rethreaded itself. "Oh."
The door opened again, this time for Marlene and Dorcas, speaking in low voices.
Marlene was smiling. For real, finally.
Just a little. Just barely. But it was undeniably there.
And maybe Lily would be less alert today while working on the map, but she wouldn't have changed her decision to get up last night, not at the cost of Marlene nearly smiling.
The door had barely swung shut when it opened for Peter, and then Caradoc, and then the food. Marlene took a seat between Dorcas and Lily, and Lily poured her a cup of tea.
Peter said something nice to Marlene, and Sirius teased him, and Dorcas mock glared at Sirius. Lily slipped Algernon a piece of bacon and Caradoc watched all of them, wearing an indulgent smile.
Things weren't the same as they'd been, but that was life; things never went back to how they were after a loss like that. There was only the chance to adjust routines, and expectations, and dreams. There was only the hope that life would become more tolerable than it was in the immediate aftermath, the first stunning ray of sunlight through towering storm clouds.
Lily's life had become something like pleasant in the months leading up to her time on James's ship. She'd made it through her storm in one piece.
Marlene had her own issues to deal with now, and the others—they had all sorts of storm fronts to face, and it seemed the clouds for them never quite left, never quite thinned, the sky already fallen. But somehow they kept pressing on anyway, against greater odds and greater enemies than Lily had ever faced.
There was something beautiful in that perseverance.
All Lily had to do was ask and she could be part of it. Like Marlene, she had very little to lose.
Except she glanced around the table at the others, and reached down to scratch Algernon's ears, and that wasn't—that wasn't quite true, anymore.
She hadn't meant for that to happen. They'd probably intended it even less.
She looked down at her tea.
There would be time to consider that later. For now, she thought, taking a bite of bread, she had to solve that bloody map.
Lily picked up her notes from the day before and frowned. Marlene could probably use her company, but the map was the absolute priority at the moment.
The line number seemed to be worthless. Sirius hadn't found any more references to the Latin phrases in the other plays, and she hadn't been able to puzzle together another meaningful location on the map. They had so many potential clues, and yet none of them had come together into something useful.
Lily braided and unbraided her hair ten times before lunch. Sirius's foot beat out a rapid pattern against the wooden floor, and Peter's lip looked like it was on the verge of being bitten straight through. Between the three of them they fidgeted enough to scare away Algernon, who shot them an annoyed look on his way out onto the main deck.
There had to be something they were missing. A starting point wasn't much help without somewhere to go. Assuming, of course, that their conclusions about the starting point were correct.
But there were no more leads to follow, and no ideas suddenly sprang to Lily's mind, and it wasn't fair – they seemed so close, but they still seemed to have so little to go on.
The day flew by in a haze of frustration, and soon the sun warmed them as it settled into the west, a reminder that the day was drawing to a close.
"All right," Lily said, shortly before dinner. "Any last minute, mad suggestions?"
Sirius looked up from his notes, brushing a lock hair out of his face. "You'd think we'd have something by now, but Bode clearly meant for no one to ever find the prophecies again."
"Peter?" Lily tried.
He scratched his head. "I really don't know."
"So we…what, take port in Angra de Heroismo if we can't find anything?"
Sirius shrugged. "Not much else to do. We could try sailing a few directions away from there, if nothing else. See if we can't stumble across something."
"That seems so…inelegant."
Peter paused in sketching out a circle on his parchment. "I mean, I've got…. Nevermind."
Sirius gave a sharp nod. "Out with it, Wormtail."
"It's just…. It's stupid."
"Peter," Lily said, "any idea is better than nothing. And if Sirius laughs, I'll hex him."
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You don't even know any hexes."
"No, but I'll have Dorcas teach me and then catch you when you come down from watch tomorrow."
"Amateur. Never tell someone when you're planning to attack."
She arched an eyebrow back at him. "Unless it's a ruse, of course."
"Touché."
"Now, Peter, what's your idea?"
"It's just….I haven't done maths in a long time, but…." He looked at them warily, and then drew a cross through the middle of the circle. "Well, a circle has three hundred and sixty degrees, and I just thought…two hundred twenty-five is less than that. So, you know, it could be an angle."
"Peter," Lily breathed. She glanced up at Sirius, who was watching Peter with keen eyes.
Peter pointed his quill in the lower left quadrant of the circle he'd drawn. "It'd be somewhere here."
Sirius grabbed two pieces of parchment and overlaid them on the map in a right angle, so that the dot for Angra de Heroismo was just visible in the intersecting corner of the parchments. He snatched Peter's quill out of his hand and laid it down, the bulk of the feather on top of the parchment, leaving just the nib to stick out over the visible quadrant of the map.
"Two hundred twenty five would be halfway through this quadrant. Assuming east is zero, of course." He flashed a smile up at Peter and adjusted the quill nib to rest halfway between the parchments, at about two hundred twenty-five degrees from east.
At first he frowned at it – nothing seemed to look any different, the nib pointing at nothing in particular. But then Sirius's frown turned curious, and he began pushing the quill nib toward the southwest corner of the map, and then he stopped.
A star lay beneath the tip of the quill.
Sirius slowly looked up at Peter and Lily in turn, a smile spreading across his face. "Well, Wormtail, it seems you were paying more attention in class than I thought, you brilliant bastard."
"You think it might be that star?"
"No way to know unless we go, but this gives us a direction, and a starting point, and that star—that's too close to coincidence." He stood up, grabbing the map with one hand and ruffling Peter's hair with the other. "I'll chart us a course."
Lily pushed back in her seat. "Finally, you come in handy."
"That, and I keep the women happy."
"Is that an admission?"
"I was referring to my looks, and my looks only, thank you."
"Naturally."
The three of them headed out onto the deck, Sirius leading the way. It wasn't certain that this was, in fact, the solution to the map. They wouldn't know until tomorrow. But at least it felt like a victory.
The sun hung low and orange on the horizon, barely visible over the forecastle. Sirius took the steps up to the quarterdeck two at a time and grinned at James, who stood at the helm.
"Got it, Prongs."
James beamed back at them. "Finally! Knew you lot could do it."
"Peter got it in the end," Lily said as she reached the top of the stairs, Peter at her side. She nudged him with her elbow, and he blushed. "It's an angle, and there's a star—well, we think we've got it, anyway."
"Knew Peter'd come through," Sirius said.
James and Lily shared a look, and Peter studied his feet.
"Oi." Sirius waved the map at James. "None of that, thanks."
"Do you have any idea what he's talking about, Lily?"
"Not in the slightest, James."
James smiled, and this time it was just for Lily. "I've good news, too, as it happens – I just heard a seagull."
"And Moony didn't trust me to navigate properly," Sirius said. "More fool him."
"Except that one time you took us off course."
"Once. And I fixed it, didn't I?"
"Only after Remus pointed it out," Peter said.
Sirius mimed someone stabbing him in the heart.
James sighed. "Go chart a course to somewhere we can take port overnight."
Sirius grinned. "Aye aye, Captain." He and Peter disappeared into the navigation room, and took with them the buffer between Lily and James.
"Well." Lily flicked her braid over her shoulder and shifted her weight. "I suppose I had better…." Except she no longer had an excuse in the map. "Go check on Marlene." Except Marlene was asleep, and he knew it, but hopefully he wouldn't point that out.
"Yeah." James adjusted his glasses. "Er, thanks, by the way. For being there for her."
"She's my friend. Of course I'd—I mean, we haven't known each other very long, and we won't see each other at all soon…but she's still a friend."
"Lily, what I said, about coming back to England—"
"I've just helped solve an impossible treasure map. Please don't ruin my good mood."
His mouth twitched up at one end. "I'll just—I'll just say you're welcome to join my crew. If you don't want to go help on land, I mean."
She looked at the ground. "I'll think about it."
"I mean, obviously you're brave, running away from home to go sail around the world—"
"Oh, I've barely left Europe—"
"All the same. So I know you could help once we train you up a bit. You've already helped so much."
She offered him a weak smile, but didn't say anything more.
"This is it, then." He leaned against the helm. "The beginning of the end."
"No need to make it sound so dramatic."
"I'm not playing pirate anymore – I've got to have fun somehow, don't I?"
"Where'd your hat go?"
"Algernon sicked up in it. It's drying out after a thorough cleaning."
"Oh. Dear."
"I had it coming."
She bit back a laugh, ducking her chin. He smiled when he noticed, but cut it short when the door next to them opened.
Sirius strolled out of the navigation room with hands in his pockets, and Peter close behind him. "We marked off a spot that looks safe enough."
"Thanks," James said. "I'll take a look and adjust the sails."
"We're going to go celebrate with a drink. Or two. Or five. You coming, Lily?"
As tempting as a drink sounded, there was one place she wanted to be right then, and it wasn't with Sirius and Peter.
"I want to take a look at the map," she said. "I like knowing where we're going, now that I'm allowed to know."
"Suit yourself," he said, and sauntered down to the main deck, playfully knocking his shoulder into Peter's as they walked.
When he'd gone, James raised his eyebrows at Lily. "Want to know where we're going, eh?"
She lifted her chin and went to open the door. "Are you coming, or not?"
He stepped into the navigation room wearing a smug smile and went to examine Sirius's work. "Looks good enough."
She leaned over his shoulder to see the small circle Sirius had drawn near the western coast of Terceira, and another one over where they believed the Island of Prophecies lay.
Lily had known about magic for more than half her life, but prophecies—real, true prophecies—still seemed like a fairytale. The Order had sent seven valuable members on a long journey, and What's His Face had sent one of his followers all the way to Portugal, and probably even more to the Azores, all just to get to this island first.
"They're bound to meet us there, aren't they?" Lily said. "One way or another."
"I hate to think it—I hate to think what that means—but yeah, probably. I'd say let's all celebrate and get drunk tonight, but considering what I think we'll be up against tomorrow…."
"I think we'll get through it, though. We can beat them."
"We? Lily, I said you should come back with us, not…er."
"Don't tell me you're you trying to prevent me from going onto the island with you. After you got all shirty with me over—you know."
He clasped the back of his neck. "Lily, someday you're going to be an amazing duelist, and I hope you come back to England with us. But you don't know how to defend yourself yet, and to let you walk into an environment where we both agree there'll probably be Death Eaters…."
"So I get to stay behind while you lot go onto an island that I helped find."
He turned to face her, hands dropping to his sides. "This is—this is me being pragmatic. My job is to assess the team's abilities as they stand right now, and I know yours, and they're…. Well, I think you'll agree they're pretty limited."
"I see."
If he'd asked her yesterday if she'd wanted to go on the island with them, she might've said no. She might've agreed with him that she would be more of a liability than an asset.
"I trust you," he said. "I really do. But you can't come with us on that island. I can't let you risk your life like that."
"I didn't know you cared," she said coolly.
"You know I care about you. You know I…well, maybe you don't. But, Lily, I can't—I can't stand the thought of coming off that island without you."
She glanced away, her heart a deafening thud in her chest. "I thought I was some silly captive."
"Fishing for compliments?"
"Fishing for a whole lot more than that," she said, even though it felt like tearing into an old wound. She'd never learn, apparently. "We might die tomorrow, after all."
"I might die. You shouldn't be at risk."
"So you say, but look what happened the last time you left me alone and locked up."
"I wasn't going to lock you up."
If Death Eaters were planning to show up, and that did seem likely, she wouldn't be able to fight them. It rankled, but that didn't make it any less true. She hadn't even been able to Stun the Death Eater they had. That was the closest she'd got to a magical fight, and she'd failed.
"I suppose someone's got to defend the ship," she said lightly.
He quirked his lips, a small half-smile appearing and disappearing in an instant, like an eddy in a river. "You're amazing, you know."
"I suppose I'll take compliments, lacking everything else, but don't think compliments will convince me to be happy about it."
"Not persuasion," he said. "I just—I needed to say it. In case. You know."
"Oh." She brushed a wisp of hair out of her eyes. "Well. Thank you."
He folded his arms, looking to the side, and then uncrossed them again, hands half-clenched into fists.
"Before you decide you hate me for that," he said, eyes not quite meeting hers, "can I—can I kiss you?"
And with one simple question, the wound sealed up, as neatly as if Marlene had Healed it.
Fifty odd responses ran through Lily's head, some silly, some romantic, some desperate. None as perfectly snappy yet seductive as she would have liked.
She tossed them all aside and kissed him.
One of her hands sneaked up to grasp the back of his head, drawing him in, while the other pressed flat against his chest over his racing heart.
It wasn't like their first kiss – he'd been surprised, then, not quite an enthusiastic participant.
There was no question now of how he felt.
His hands settled in confidently around her waist. He kissed that way, too, assured and insistent, his tongue brushing along her lips.
Contentedness spiraled in her chest, wrapping warmly around her heart, and she curled her fingers over his shirt, beyond pleased to feel his pulse racing in tandem with hers—
He pulled back, hands sliding off her and moving to fold across his chest as he half-turned away, his cheeks flushed.
"Sorry," he said.
"If you're apologizing for anything but ending it," Lily said, hands hanging uselessly without a weapon at her side, "I will learn how to castrate people and do it to you. I bet Dorcas knows how and is willing to teach me."
"I'm sorry because that was a bad idea."
"James, I'm a grown woman. I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions about the people I search for treasure with."
He smiled at that, briefly, but long enough for her to catch it. "I find it hard to believe anyone's ever influenced you to do anything."
"My father always called me headstrong. I told him that was unfair because boys never got called that."
"No," he said quietly. "I suppose they don't."
"Not even in the wizarding world?"
"Not even there." He forced his arms down and to his sides. "Right. Well, I need—I need to get us on course."
"James," her traitorous mouth said, "if you want—"
"Lily. That's it. I can't…I can't."
"All right," she said hollowly. "That's…I'll go. And do…something."
He nodded, studying the ground, his hand running through his hair.
She took one last look at him, shoved down any and all thoughts of kissing him again, and left.