I now have this story on 21 people's favorite list! XD
Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.
The Ice Queen—she is a mentally challenged woman with powers over ice. Although she was originally much more evil and aggressive than her male counterpart, she in the series, she is much more lame and dumb. Like the Ice King kidnaps princesses, she kidnaps princes. The Ice Queen has light blue skin, long white hair, and lightning-shaped eyebrows. Her hair, while also long like the Ice King's beard, is wavy with curls instead of shaggy. She wears a small gold tiara with red gems and a neck band (incrusted with a single blue gem in the center), a blue long sleeved ball gown, and light and dark blue shoes. Like how the Ice King's source of power is in his crown, Ice Queen's is based in her tiara. The Ice Queen's eyebrows are the equivalent of the Ice King's beard, allowing flight.
Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.
When Wedding Bells Thaw
Title Card
Ice Queen plucks the Prince-figure off of the wedding cake, licking the dropping frosting off of it.
It was a normal day in the Land of Aaa, and Fionna and Cake, the famous heroines, were simply sitting in their Treehouse. Fionna had her hands behind her head, sitting back on the couch, as Cake played her dulcimer in a skippy beat.
Cake looked up at Fionna and stopped playing when she saw Fionna's face: D:I
"Are you okay, Fifi?"
"Yeah, why?" Fionna asked, her face normal, like she had just snapped back to reality.
"You look bored."
"This is just how I look when I listen to music."
"Oh. Good, because I'm about to kick it up a notch." Cake smiled, picking up the sticks to her dulcimer.
"Bring it!" Fionna said, leaning back.
Cake began to play a steady, slow tune. Fionna's music-listening face returned. D:I
There was a knock at the door, and Cake stopped playing as she and Fionna turned around to the wooden door.
"Someone at the door." Fionna walked from the couch to the door. "Who do you think it is?"
"I dunno, girl." Cake shrugged, walking on all fours to the door alongside the human girl. "Could be anyone."
She crouched down. Fionna hopped on her like a step-stool and looked out the glass window of the door. It was obviously a woman, but she couldn't see who.
"I can't quite make it out..."
The woman span around.
"AH!" Fionna screamed, nearly falling off of Cake's back. "IT'S THE ICE QUEEN!"
"THE ICE QUEEN?"
"THE ICE QUEEN!"
Ice Queen rocked on her heels. It was awfully quiet in the Treehouse. She didn't even know if it was the right Treehouse.
"I think this is the right address." She murmured, taking out a piece of paper from her long white hair.
Suddenly, the door flew open, and Fionna kicked Ice Queen in the face, toppling her over with a war cry.
"Yeah! Kick her toosh, Fifi!" Cake cried out in encouragement.
Fionna took out her ruby sword. In a new rage, Ice Queen flew from under Fionna's hard foot, her hands glowing with icy power. She fired two sharp icicles at Fionna, who barrel-rolled away.
"EAT MY SWORD, ICE QUEEN!" She cried, her ruby sword held high.
She threw the sword with all her might at the Ice Queen, its ruby material glittering in the sunlight. The Ice Queen held up an icy shield, causing the ruby sword to fall like a torpedo into the grass, half of it in the soil.
The Ice Shield fell from the sky, piercing the ground next to Cake. "AH!"
"YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME, CHILD!" Ice Queen roared.
"BUT I WILL!" Fionna cried, her hands balled into fists. "With...A SWEET KICK!"
She kicked off of the ground, her leg held out for an attack. The Ice Queen, expecting a hard kick, dodged out of the leg's way, only to be punched across the face.
"SIKE!"
Ice Queen brought her hand to Fionna's face, freezing her face in a block of ice. They both fell to the ground next to Cake, the ice surrounding Fionna's head smashing against the ground.
"NOW I CAN KILL YOU!" Ice Queen screeched, her fist raised.
She lowered her fist, realization clear on her face. "Oh. Wait. Wait, wait. Ugh! I'm so stupid! I came here to tell you the good news!"
"What's the good news?" Fionna asked, the acid and confusion mixed in her voice.
"I'm getting married to someone who actually WANTS to marry me!"
Fionna and Cake gasped loudly in shock.
Ice Queen giggled excitedly. "My betrothed is over there. See?"
Fionna and Cake looked over at a red wagon full of penguins and sea lions, along with an elderly but somewhat handsome man with very large eyes.
"Hi, honey!"
"Hey, buttercup!" The Old Guy Prince called back.
"I didn't even kidnap this one!" Ice Queen said. "He fell in love with me! The moment I slipped on his engagement ring!"
She twiddled her noodly fingers, causing Fionna and Cake to cringe.
"Goodbye, honey!" Ice Queen called to Old Guy Prince.
Old Guy Prince waved back as he rode away in the wagon.
"The guys are throwing him a 'bachelor party.'" Ice Queen said, putting air quotes on 'bachelor party.' "Tradition is tradition, I suppose."
"This is wacko-weird, Fifi." Cake whispered to Fionna.
Fionna thought for a moment before looking up. "Hey, Ice Queen, if your married, what about capturing princes?"
"Oh well. I guess no more capturing princes for me."
Fionna broke into a wide grin. "Cupcake, this is great! Fare thee well, Ice Queen." Fionna waved and began to start for the Treehouse again.
"Yeah, good luck with yee and thy creepy wedding." Cake agreed.
"We totally support your decision to stop capturing princes." Fionna finished before closing the wooden door, leaving Ice Queen standing alone.
"I'm happy for her." Fionna told Cake smugly, leaning against the wood of the Treehouse.
There was another knock at the door. Frowning, Fionna opened it to reveal a shy-looking Ice Queen, laughing nervously.
"What is it?" Fionna asked, trying to hide her irritation.
"I sure wish someone would throw me a bachelor party." Ice Queen giggled. "I mean, 'bachelorette party'!"
Fionna and Cake exchanged glances. "But we hate you."
"But I'm desperate!" Ice Queen said, her hands glowing blue. "If you don't throw me a bachelorette party, then I'll never have my last 'hurrah' before buckling down with that battleaxe! It'll take me back to a life of stealing hot princes! DO YOU WANT THAT?"
"No! No, of course not!" Fionna whispered to Cake. "We have to give her a good time or she'll go back to imprisoning princes!" She began to hyperventilate. "I-I can't have that! I-I-!"
"Shh." Cake pressed a furry finger to the girl's lips. "I know. Alright, let's go party, Ice Queen!"
Ice Queen laughed with excitement.
First, Fionna and Cake took Ice Queen to a Rabbit Tribe's party. They told Ice Queen to have fun while they danced with the Rabbits like crazy, going with the pounding music. Ice Queen was struggling with her 1000+-old body to dance.
"Come on...time to grease the old flour mill...Get the rust from these elbows..."
She looked up at a cute, cerulean male Rabbit with a blue rose on its side, who waved at her with a smile.
Ice Queen giggled and waved back.
Out of the blue, a beefy, burly, scarred, pastel-green female Rabbit with a skull on its side walked up next to the male, being his recent girlfriend. Ice Queen froze as the female Rabbit growled, stalking towards her.
"Uh...What seems to be the problem?" Ice Queen asked nervously.
"YOU WAVED AT MY MAN!" The Rabbit screeched as a few of her 'friends' surrounded the Ice Queen.
"D...Don't...DON'T YELL AT ME!"
Fionna and Cake span around at the crashes and screams in shock.
"I'LL CONGEAL THE MARROW OF YOUR BONES!" Ice Queen shrieked, firing her powers at the Rabbits in a white-hot rage. "AND STUFF YOUR INNARDS WITH SLEET! YOUR SOULS WILL FREEZE AND SPLINTER INTO SHARDS THAT PERFORATE YOUR SKIN!"
Fionna and Cake ran up to Ice Queen, pinning her arms to her side, while Ice Queen froze in shock. Fionna slapped her across the face.
Next, they took Ice Queen to the Roughhousing Women's village. They sat at the wooden bar, Ice Queen mumbling about the bandage on the side of her face.
"Here ya go." The bartender set down three mugs in front of them. "Three Maple Saps."
Ice Queen looked at the honey-colored liquid of the mug. She looked over at Fionna and Cake, who nodded and gave her thumbs-ups.
Ice Queen smiled and took a sip. She froze at the gluey, sour, tart, groggy taste. She spat out the liquid, splattering the woman next to her.
"What. The. Flip?" The woman growled, her eyes growing red.
Fionna and Cake stared. o_o
"Uh..." Ice Queen fidgeted. "Maple Sap problem?"
The woman hit her hard across the face. She then kicked Ice Queen in the stomach, sending her to the ground. The Ice Queen growled, summoning a whirl of snow. "YOU DARE TO LAY HARM UPON THE PERSON OF ELEMENTAL ICE INCARNATE? I COULD BLIGHT YOU TO YOUR HEART WITH A SINGLE BREATH! I AM THE MASTER OF WIND DESCENDING! THE QUEEN OF HOARFROST!"
The woman was blown a mile away, screaming, with the force of the wind. Ice Queen cackled as the woman disappeared into the forest.
Fionna and Cake stalked over to her, pinning her arms to her sides. Fionna slapped her again.
Lastly, they just decided to go for a leaf-ride down the river. Fionna and Cake hopped onto a boat-sized leaf, floating down the waters, as Ice Queen went who knows where. Fionna and Cake sighed in exasperation.
Water splashed on them. They looked up grumpily to see Ice Queen was splashing water at them, obviously looking for a fight.
"SIMMER DOWN!" Cake called before plopping her head back down on the waxy leaf.
"Hang in there, Cupcake, we're almost through this." Fionna sighed.
"HEYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
They looked up with a start to see Ice Queen standing up on her leaf, a wide grin on her face.
"CANNON...BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!"
You don't even WANT to know what happened then.
"Best bachelorette party EVER!" Ice Queen cheered as they walked through the grassy fields back to the Treehouse.
Giggling, she brought a small snow-puff, a snowy, adorable creature, onto her palm.
Ice Queen giggled.
The snow puff giggled back.
Ice Queen giggled.
The snow puff giggled back.
The Ice Queen tossed the snow-puff over her shoulder. Cake reached out and caught it. "Now I'm gonna get MARRIED!"
Fionna and Cake slinked away as she went on a laughing riot, quiet as a mouse.
"Dumps. Finally, she's gonna be out of our hair." Fionna sighed.
"Double dumps to that, Fifi."
"Bye, Ice Queen! Good luck!" Fionna called back, waving.
"Have fun being married!"
"No more stealing princes!"
Ice Queen froze, frowning. "Wait...no more stealing princes...wow...I didn't realize-"
"WHAAAAAAAAAT?"
"I...didn't realize I'd have to give up stealing hotties."
"But you said you were fine with it!" Cake screeched.
"I know I said it." Ice Queen sat down with a sigh on the grass. "But you know how when sometimes you say things but you don't really mean it?"
"Wha-? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
"I'm just not sure if I wanna get married in such a hurry."
"Such a hurry?" Cake repeated. "You've always been trying to kidnap and marry princes against their will. For a flipping long time."
"I know, I know...But how do I know she's the one? What if she's just after my Devil's Eye or Soul Pouch?" She took out two items from her hair, a red-eyed, blinking necklace and a dusty pouch erupted see-through humanoid beings.
"WE JUST TOOK YOU OUT TO PARTY SO YOU'D FEEL BETTER ABOUT GETTING MARRIED!" Fionna screeched.
"Maybe I'll just go back to stealing lots of guys. It's what I feel comfortable doing, ya know? Being free. The wind in my hair. Lots of guys. Kidnapping them."
"Alright, here's a double kick." Fionna snarled, pouncing for the Ice Queen.
"Fifi!" Cake wrapped her arms around Fionna's waist, restraining her. "Cool yourself. We need this crazy chic to get married, remember?"
"Yeah. I remember." Fionna grumbled.
"Watch, let big sis handle this." Cake brushed past her to the Ice Queen, who was sitting on the grass, whimpering. "Hey, Ice Queen, don't be nervous. Marriage is the most beautiful thing that can happen to a psycho like you."
"Why?"
"W-why?"
Fionna watched as the cat re-approached her. "Darn. That girl is good. I need to think. Why...why..." Cake hypervinilated, pulling on her ears, sweating like crazy.
"Uh...Cupcake-"
"Not now!" Cake waved her off. "WHY! WHY!"
"Alright, listen, girl," Fionna told the Ice Queen, "Marriage is awesome because...uh...husbands...lay eggs?"
"Wha-?"
"And he'll dance for you."
"So what? I can lay on eggs of dancing sea lions." She stood up and revealed a little egg, that hatched, revealing a (adorable!) baby sea lion. It stepped away from the eggshells and began to dance, spinning, jumping, and flapping until it span away.
"I don't need a husband for eggs or dances. My mind is made up 80% percent sure. No marriage."
"Well, uh..." Fionna thought for a moment. "...You wanna grow old with somebody, right? Just like these old ducks."
She pointed to a nearby pond, where two wrinkly, elderly ducks were giving each other pecking kisses.
Ice Queen furrowed her eyebrows. "Huh?"
The female duck SWALLOWED the male WHOLE. A minute later, his head poked from her bill, quacking.
Cake's face: O_O
Fionna's face: O_O
Ice Queen's face: :D
"Now I get you gals are trying to tell me!" Ice Queen cheered excitedly. "Marriage is a thing that allows me to capture a prince forever and let him live inside of me." She paused, then burst into hysterical tears. "MARRIAGE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD!"
"Cake, this is bad," Fionna whispered to Cake, who had a wide, plastered smile on, "We gotta tell her that she can't eat her husband!"
"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it. Look how happy she is!"
"THE WEDDING IS BACK ON! 100%!" Ice Queen cheered, doing a sort of jig. She picked up her skirt and skipped quickly away.
Fionna sighed in relief as she left.
"All that's left is that lousy wedding." Cake smiled to Fionna.
"I'M WEDDY FOR THE WEDDING!"
The next day, the Ice Kingdom was chiming with the sound of wedding bells. Penguins and sea lions were hanging up decorations and so on. Baby Blue ribbons and white roses were everywhere.
"Ya know, even though the Ice Queen is a real jerk, I'm kinda happy for her." Fionna whispered to Cake. She had been required to wear a dress, which she was not happy of. The dress was baby-blue, knee-length, with a large deep blue ribbon around the waist.
"This wedding looks pretty lame, Fifi." Cake grumbled, looking at the decor and ice sculptures. She had to wear a baby-blue ribbon. "Prepare to be bored. OUT OF YOUR MIND."
Fionna chuckled.
"Fionna! Cake! You made it! I'm almost done tying up my husband!"
Fionna and Cake looked up at the altar. Ice Queen had switched from her usual dress to a royal blue dress. The dress had long, tight sleeves and hugged her from the waist down. To her knees down, it went in spirals of blues. She was tying up the Old Guy Prince, who was wearing a blue tux with a black tie.
"Weird." Fionna said. "Your husband is into that?"
"This is a traditional wedding ritual for good luck in the Ice Kingdom! He'll be raised up, and then lowered back down, and when he touches my hair from above, he'll be my king!"
"Well, cool, glad you're happy." Fionna said. "...Being crazy together."
The Ice Queen began to mutter numbers, Fionna supposed another ritual. "4...8...15...16...23...42..."
Fionna looked at the Old Guy Prince and jumped. His eyes were the size of saucers, swirling black and blue.
"His eyes are huge!" Fionna said to Cake. "I'm going to go check them out. Stop scratching your ear. It's gross."
"It wasn't me, Fifi, it was my foot."
"You have ridiculously large eyes, prince," Fionna said to Old Guy Prince, staring at his eyes. "Are you allergic to something?"
"No, Fionna, I was born like this." Old Guy Prince said, his eyes beginning to overflow with penny-sized tears.
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying. My tear sack is broken."
Fionna looked into his eyes, making out a bar-like design with the blackness of his eyes. Beyond the bars, she could see a small figure.
"HELP ME!"
"What?"
"I didn't say anything." Old Guy Prince said as Cake approached them.
"The Ice Queen cursed me! Please set me free! I would rather die than marry the Ice Queen!"
Fionna and Cake gasped loudly in shock.
"SHE TRICKED ME!" Fionna growled. "I WAS HAPPY FOR THAT TOOT!"
"Look at his ring."
Fionna looked at the Old Guy Prince's ring. It was made of ice, glittering in the light with every movement. She could hear the Ice Queen's words: "He fell in love with me! The moment I slipped on his engagement ring!"
"That's what cursed him!" Fionna took the Old Guy Prince's hand, trying to pull off the ring. "Don't worry, prince, I'll remove this and save your life."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Fionna and Cake jumped and span around to the Ice Queen, who was glowing with raging power. "HE'S MINE!"
She fired a beam at them, but they dodged it quickly.
"YOU CURSED HIM!" Fionna screamed. "HE HATES YOU!"
"THAT'S YOUR OPINION!"
"Wait, wait, wait." Cake told them. "You knew he was cursed all along. Which means you KNEW he wasn't trying to steal your devil stuff."
"I dunno. I'm complicated. And spontaneous. That's probably why he wants to marry me."
"You knew you had total control of him!" Cake said. "Why did you make us go on about why marriage is great and junk? You BRAINWASHED him into wanting to marry you! He would never marry you! YOU'RE A NUT-BAR!"
"SILENCE!"
Ice Queen fired an icy beam at their feet. Fionna and Cake looked down to see their feet were frozen where they stood.
"It's time for the lowering ceremony!" Ice Queen said. "Hoist him up!"
Fionna pounded at the ice trapping her feet as the Old Guy Prince was hoisted a good twenty feet above them.
"COMMENCE THE LOWERING!"
The Old Guy Prince began to be lowered very slowly.
Fionna and Cake attacked the ice trapping their feet. Cake took off her bow and used it like an ice pick. Fionna ripped off the hem of her dress to get a better look at her feet. The ice began to crack.
"Nothing can stop me now." Ice Queen sighed.
Suddenly, Fionna was lunging at her. Ice Queen tumbled backwards, sending them both rolling over the side of the icy altar.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Fionna screeched once they were at the bottom.
"BEATING UP THE BRIDE AT HER OWN WEDDING?" Ice Queen kicked Fionna off of her. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"
Fionna flew back and crashed into the sea lions that were holding the ropes to the Old Guy Prince. Immediately, he began to fall to the icy floor below.
Cake, who was still stuck in the ice, stretched up and caught him quickly.
"I think you dropped something." Ice Queen said to Fionna as she stalked over to her. "Catch!"
She took out a sea lion from behind her back. She threw it over to Fionna, freezing it in midair. Fionna caught the frozen creature before it could shatter on the floor. The weight of the frozen sea lion caused her to sink through the snow of the floor, waist-deep.
Ice Queen fired a beam at Cake, who was still stretched up and holding Old Guy Prince. Cake saw the beam and span around so it wouldn't hit the Prince. However, her body was then frozen in a block of ice.
"CUPCAKE!" Fionna cried.
By this time, the sea lions had grabbed the ropes that was holding up the Prince. Cake began to lose her balance with the ice holding her body. As she began to fall, she plucked the ring from the Prince's finger.
Cake fell down the side of the altar, sliding down the side, until she was right next to Fionna.
"Oh hey."
"Hey."
"Let's try this again." Ice Queen told the sea lions. "LOWER HIM!"
"Oh dang." Cake groaned, her voice muffled in the ice. "What are we gonna do?"
"Cupcake! You got the ring of his finger!"
"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Now he's not hypnotized, but we're still frozen."
"I got a plan."
"You stinky, lying pig!" Old Guy Prince screamed as he was lowered down, struggling and kicking. "I hate you! Go jump off a cliff!"
"Yes, touch my hair," Ice Queen said, holding up her white mane.
Fionna and Cake waited...
"Almost there..." Ice Queen said when the Prince's finger was just inches from her hair.
"NOW!"
Ice Queen felt a hand touch her hair. "I'M MAAAAAAAAAAARIED!"
Fionna and Cake burst into laughter.
"What's so funny?" Ice Queen frowned.
"Yeah. You're married to the person who touched your hair." Fionna smiled.
"What's that supposed to-?"
Ice Queen gasped when she saw that CAKE had touched her hair. NOT the Prince.
"You done married a cat!" Fionna said.
"Yeah, I-" Cake froze. "Wait. Wha-? WHY AM I HAPPY?"
"Now everything's back to normal." Fionna sighed, leaning back on the couch. "Well, almost everything.
"Come on, girls," Ice Queen whined, knocking on the door, "Help me celebrate my divorce."
Fionna and Cake laughed.
TRIVIA
When the Ice Queen is murmuring numbers for the wedding, '4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42,', the numbers are from the TV show, Lost.
When Cake was the touching the Ice Queen's hair she wore the engagement ring but she never lost her own conscience