Every morning when the techie came to work, the first task Eric did was check that his beloved servers and other high-tech toys had survived the night without any issues. While he did that, Nell, the analyst, worked her way through the news feeds to see what happened overnight and if anything was relevant to their work.
Eric was running a status report when Nell went, "Ut-oh." The tone in her voice suggested what came next was not going to be good. "Eric, would you watch something and tell me what you see." She pushed a few buttons and a video came up on the big screen.
Eric moved to stand front and center. "Oh, is this that bus that slid down the side of the slope? Boy did that snarl traffic. What does this have to do with us?" He turned to raise a questioning eyebrow at his tech buddy.
She jerked her chin towards the monitor. "Just watch Eric," she commanded.
Eric refocused on the screen and observed as the scene unfolded. He could tell Nell had stitched together a number of feeds to make this longer running set. She had managed to get footage from the beginning of the event because he saw a car's tire blow out, causing it to swerve, which triggered a chain reaction with the vehicles around it, resulting in the top-heavy school bus flipping on its side, crashing through the guardrail before sliding over the edge of the embankment. A few frames later a man in a dark colored hoodie entered into the picture and slid down the slope of vegetation towards the bus. The man disappeared in and out of view but eventually it became clear he was getting the children out of the bus. Other rescue workers appeared on the scene and eventually the good Samaritan was lost in the crowd of people. The last few frames showed the good Samaritan as he handed off a child to a waiting EMT; as he did that his hood slipped back for a moment. Before he could reposition it. Nell froze the screen then enlarged the frame. Eric let out a low whistle. "Is that who I think it is?"
"Well, unless Callen has a doppelgänger, I'd say yes." Nell typed on her keyboard before spinning back to face her partner. "I have erased that footage from the source so Callen won't be showing up on the evening news."
"Have you told Hetty yet," but before Nell could answer Eric's question the aforementioned Boss' face appeared on the video screen.
"Yes she has Mr. Beale," Hetty's non-smiling giant head replied.
Eric swallowed and muttered "Of course. What was I thinking?"
"Thank you," the disembodied head said before she disconnected. With a collective sigh of relief, Eric and Nell went back to their tech tasks.
NCIS-LA NCIS-LA NCIS-LA NCIS-LA
As Callen was getting out of his car in the parking lot of the Mission in the morning, his phone buzzed. Flicking his eyes down at the screen, he scanned the text from Sam instructing him to head straight to the Challenger; they had a case. Groaning, the agent grabbed his stuff out of the Mercedes and locked the door, wishing he had stopped to grab a bite to eat; it might be a long time until he got food.
Halfway to the vehicle, it started up again and with his bag in one hand and his precious coffee in the other, he was stuck. Though the Challenger was only a 100 feet away, he almost considered dropping his much-needed coffee, the only thing that was going to get him through the morning, in order to relieve the issue. Practically sprinting, he hurriedly covered the distance to the car, dropped his stuff on the hood and relieved his discomfort. He was bent over behind the car when Sam came walking up.
"What the hell is your crap doing on the hood of my car!" he growled at his partner who popped up somewhat like a prairie dog from behind the far side of the vehicle.
"I dropped something," Callen hastily explained yanking his long-sleeved blue t-shirt decisively into place.
"Yeah, well next time put your stuff somewhere else. I washed and waxed her last night." Sam gave her a loving stroke on the hood before he climbed behind the wheel. Callen gave his partner and eye roll before follwoing suit getting in the passenger side. He tossed his bag in the back seat and placed his steaming coffee cup in the holder.
Sam gave the cup of java the evil eye. "And don't be spilling that stuff in my car. I cleaned the inside too."
Jimmying the lid off the cup, Callen took a grateful sip and sighed with relief. It had been rough night, worse than usual for him and that was saying a lot. The caffeine was going to go a long way this morning to helping him be human. "What's up?" he asked curiously after another long swig of caffeine.
Sam maneuvered the black Dodge with ease in the morning traffic. "Stakeout. Possible connections to the Andino cartel."
Callen groaned under his breath as he glanced out the window at the passing landscape. "Isn't it a bit early?"
Sam gave a derisive snort at his partner's comment. "What's a matter didn't get enough beauty sleep? Cause from where I'm sitting," Sam flicked his eyes over his partner, "you look like you need a few more hours, maybe a day." That earned him another eye roll from Callen which caused Sam to grin; he liked yanking his partner's chain. "Tell you what, when we catch the bad guy I'll tell him you would appreciate that next time he starts his day later."
"You'd do that for me?" Callen insincerely mocked his partner. "That would be great." He absent-mindedly rubbed his left shoulder-blade against the seat for a few seconds. "Could we stop for a bite to eat on the way?"
Sam wondered if Callen really had been sick yesterday and still was suffering from some lingering effects; his mind seemed like it was out in left field this morning. "Let me get this straight. You want me to stop on the way to stake-out, with what could be a major player in the Andino cartel, so you can get breakfast?"
Callen stopped squirming in his seat and reached for his coffee again. "Yeah, if it is not too much trouble. I could use a refill too." He held aloft the half-empty cup giving it a gentle shake.
Deciding it was going to be one of those days, Sam simply answered, "In your dreams fly-boy."
Callen started fidgeting in his seat and his mind seemed to wander again. "I am actually a fly-boy if you consider I can operate both a helicopter and plane."
"You can," Sam agreed playing along in the inane conversation. "But you're not licensed and you don't do it very well. You fly like Kensi drives. You get to the destination but your passenger's turn green."
"I can land. I can take off and I can keep it level in the sky. What more do you want? Beverage service?" Callen questioned as he tried to discretely rub the side of his left leg with his right foot.
"That still doesn't make you a pilot," Sam countered as he turned left at the intersection.
Callen ignored Sam and settled deeper into his seat, closing his blue eyes for a few moments. "Never said I was a pilot. Just said I could fly a plane and a helicopter."
Observing his partner from the corner of his eye again, Sam noticed what appeared to be scratch marks around the base of Callen's neck that disappeared under his shirt. He wondered where they came from and what else G's shirt might be hiding. His partner was not one to volunteer anything so Sam knew he'd have to ask if he wanted his curiosity resolved. "Rough night?"
"Something like that," came the noncommittal reply from the semi-dozing agent.
"Looks like some scratches on your neck. Get in a fight with the neighbor's cat or did your domineering fantasy finally become a reality." That got his partner to open his eyes and fully engage in the conversation.
"You know you are taking that comment I made way out of context," Callen retorted, his voice holding a hint of irritation. Sam remained quiet but a huge grin spread across his face. "If I didn't feel like crap, I'd wipe that smile off your face," Callen replied with bravado he certainly wasn't feeling this morning.
"Anytime. Anywhere." Both men knew there wasn't any ill-thoughts behind any of the banter, just normal morning rhetoric to pass the time. "So, you gonna tell me?" Sam prodded his recalcitrant friend.
Callen continued hedging and being deliberately obtuse. "Tell you what? I'm not a mind reader; you have me confused with Hetty."
They were approaching their destination so Sam let his partner's evasiveness ride for the moment while he parked the car in a spot where they could watch the motel in question. Once settled, he brought his partner up to speed verbally while Callen studied the pictures that Eric had sent to his phone of their suspect.
Reaching into the back seat, Callen brought the long-lensed camera forward and laid it on the console between him and Sam. There wasn't much activity around the motel at this time of the morning other than the maids and their carts going room to room cleaning. When a person did appear, Callen would snap a few pictures and send them off to the Wonder Twins so they could run them thru facial recognition.
The first hour passed without any noteworthy activity at the motel. The suspect they were looking for did not put in an appearance and they got no significant hits from the facial recognition software. Callen's behavior, however, was noteworthy, at least to Sam. His normally placid partner was in constant motion; squiggly, squirming, fiddling and fidgeting. The moments when Callen actually sat still were few and far between and Sam swore they were less than five minutes in duration. Inquires as to what was wrong brought answers as expected; I'm good; Nothing; It's your imagination; Stop mothering me. By the end of the third hour, Sam was ready to forcibly eject his partner from the car.
"You are worse than Deeks' mutt Monty. Do you have fleas?" Sam asked exasperated as his partner wiggled around in his seat again.
Callen who had been almost unconsciously rubbing his lower calf for the last three minutes stopped and frowned at Sam. "I take offense at being compared to Deeks' dog."
Further conversation halted when Sam glanced over at the motel they were staking out and spotted their target entering his room. Sam gestured with his chin. "G, he is here." Peering where Sam indicated, Callen spotted their suspect.
The building was a one story, rectangular shaped, pull-up-in-front motel consisting of twenty units with the end one serving as the office; it had seen better days. Earlier they had scouted the perimeter and knew each room had one entry door facing the parking lot with a large square window next to it. In the back of each room was a window in the bathroom, not big enough for anyone to escape thru and one more normal sized window which one could jump out of if required.
Callen swung open his door. "I got the back." Drawing his gun, he slid out of the car and quickly headed around the rear of the motel.
Sam got out of the car and took up position along side of the door, gun in his hand, pointed upwards. When he got the text on his phone that Callen was in place, he moved in front of the motel door and kicked it open then ducked back yelling "Federal Officer. Stop." As usual, it did no good; when he cautiously bobbed in front of the door he saw the suspect fleeing out the back window. Sam entered the room and efficiently cleared it.
Callen saw their subject bolt out the window and take off at a run, so he too shouted "Federal Agent. Stop," which caused the suspect to run even faster. Swearing under his breath, Callen pounded after the fugitive across the grassy area behind the motel.
Sam quickly cleared the glass shards from the window frame before he scrambled thru it to take up pursuit with his partner.
The suspect scaled the chain link fence behind the motel, dropping swiftly on far side and Callen, holstering his gun, did the same. The guy ran thru a gravelly area, across a highway that was thankfully not too busy before vaulting over the guard-rail on the far side of the road and slithering down an embankment.
Callen did a quick mental calculation and instead of vaulting over the silver railing, he used the top to push off, becoming airborne, and making a flying tackle. Wrapping his arms around the guy when he hit his torso, the two men plunged to the ground and rolled over and over down the slope. When they stopped tumbling, Callen was on top of the man with a knee in his back and his gun aimed at the suspect's head.
Sam made his way a bit more cautiously down the slope than his partner's free-fall decent. When he got close to the two men he too trained his gun on their fugitive. "I got him covered G."
Callen got off the guy, put away his gun, pulled out a pair of zip ties and cuffed the guy's hands behind his back. Because of the rough and tumble manner in which Callen came down the embankment, his long-sleeved, blue, t-shirt had hiked up, exposing a portion of his lower back. Sam squinted at his partner's uncovered torso and was puzzled by what he saw; could it possibly be what he thought? It would explain a lot, but how had it occurred? Callen either felt the breeze blow across his exposed skin or felt his partner's intense stare, and he quickly reached around and yanked his shirt back down.
Sam was getting ready to say something when Deeks appeared cutting him off. "Hey hero," Deeks addressed Callen who was dragging the handcuffed suspect to his feet.
"Way to go Callen," Kensi added as she too joined them. Callen ducked his head a little and appeared uncomfortable about his teammate's comments.
Sam felt like he was missing a page from his play book that everyone else had obviously read. Why were his teammates congratulating Callen for a routine chase and not even a particularly graceful one? "I don't think he really caught the guy," Sam griped. "I think he tripped on top of the hill and bowled him over."
"All part of the plan," Callen replied smugly pushing the prisoner towards Deeks.
Sam shook his head vigorously. "Oh no. I refuse to believe that was a plan."
Callen raised his eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders. "Think what you want big guy." With that, he handed the prisoner off to Deeks and started to make his way back up the hillside.
"I can't believe you guys were stroking his ego like that," Sam complained to the two junior partners. "It wasn't a great save or anything."
"What are you talking about Sam? He single-handedly rescued more than half of those children." The look on Sam's face told Kensi he had no clue what Callen had done last night. "Didn't Callen tell you?"
Sam had an inkling he was about to hear something his partner forgot to mention...again. "Tell me what?"
Deeks couldn't stop himself from sniggering. "Wow. Callen forgot to tell Sam. Communication is the first thing to go in a marriage."
Sam was clearly irritated with Callen and Deeks comments weren't helping the matter. "Shut up Deeks," Kensi instructed as she took out her phone and pulled up the video from Nell and Eric.
Watching the storm clouds gather in Sam's eyes, Deeks decided it was time he took their prisoner back to the car. "Meet you at the car Kensi." Kensi would have dearly loved to go with him but Sam was still watching on her phone.
When the video was over, Sam calmly handed the phone back to Kensi who took it and awkwardly said, "Callen seems to have the knack for being in the wrong place at the right time."
"Yeah," Sam growled turning brusquely and heading back up the slope.
As Kensi trudged along behind him she had the distinct feeling that Sam's and Callen's ride back to Ops was going to be an uncomfortable one for their team-lead. "I'm sure he was going to get around to telling you Sam," she said trying to placate him. "You guys were having a hectic morning."
"Of course we were and there wasn't a single moment during the three hours we sat alone in the car watching the motel for Callen to say 'Hey Sam. Guess what happened to me last night'," Sam sarcastically shot back at her.
Kensi decided to keep her mouth shut and silently followed the muscular man to the top. At the road, she quickly peeled off towards her silver SUV where Deeks was standing with the prisoner. "See you at the boathouse guys," she called out as she hissed at Deeks to get in the car, fast.
Sam watched the two junior agents take off like greased lightning before shifting his attention to Callen who was lounging against the side of the Challenger. Angrily striding up to his secretive partner, Sam got right in his face. "Got something you forgot to mention to me?"
Tilting his head to the left and frowning slightly he said, "That's pretty broad."
Sam debated about reaching over and strangling his partner then did a mental check on his attitude and sighed instead. This was Callen he was talking about; the poster child for evasiveness, not sharing and trust issues. Sam let his anger go but did let his voice register disappointment in his partner's behavior. "I thought we had gotten past this; that we had a higher level of trust in our relationship."
Callen felt Sam's hurt and displeasure and he felt contrite because the big guy was right; Callen should have told him. "I'm sorry Sam," he said sincerely. "I was distracted this morning, focused elsewhere."
Crossing his arms across his chest, Sam looked pointedly at Callen's torso. "Could your distraction have anything to do with what I saw on your back?"
Now Callen really appeared uncomfortable as they entered into another of his off-limit topics; injuries. For a moment he tried to spin a web of deceit in his mind but it wasn't working so with a sigh he came clean. "I came in contact with poison ivy when I was rescuing those kids on the school bus."
"Oh. You those kids? The ones in the video that Kensi had to show me because you were so distracted today you forgot to mention, in passing, that last night you rescued a bus load of frantic children from certain death."
Callen shifted his weight uneasily. "It wasn't that dramatic. I saw the bus slide over the edge. I stopped my car, threw on a hooded sweatshirt in case the media showed up, scrambled down the slope to the bus, climbed in thru the windshield and pulled the uninjured kids out. Once rescue showed up, I disappeared."
"And," Sam prodded.
Callen stared at his partner for a few seconds to see if he would back down. It didn't take him long to realize Sam would wait him out, all day if necessary. With a huff he added, "And I must have slide thru a patch of poison ivy on my way down the slope."
"I seem to recall when I caught poison ivy you bragged you have never caught it," Sam accused him.
Grimacing Callen replied, "Never did before." Since he didn't have to keep it a secret anymore from Sam, Callen started vigorously scratching.
Sam reached over and slapped Callen's hands. "Stop. Scratching only makes it worse and increases the risk of infection."
"I can't," Callen whined as he rubbed his back against the Challenger's side which earned him the evil eye from Sam; he snuck in a few more good scratches. As Sam's hand reached out for him again he dodged sideways before Sam could grab him.
"Get in the car. We'll stop at a drugstore and get some calamine lotion and hydrocortisone cream. That will help." Sam paused a second. "Ya know I bet Hetty still has some calamine lotion left over from when I got poison ivy. We don't need to stop, we'll use hers."
Callen, who had been about to climb in the car, halted and gave Sam an incredulously glare over the roof of the black car; his voice held an edge of panic. "Oh no. You are not telling Hetty about this."
Sam gave him a 'get real' eye roll as he slid into the car; Callen followed suit dragging his body over every available inch of car to scratch his skin. "How you gonna hide this from Hetty. You keep scratching like a dog with flea." Sam reached over and swatted his partner's hand again to stop him. "Besides she probably knew you had it before you did."
Callen knew his partner was right about Hetty, but it didn't mean he had to like it or admit it to Sam.
Author's Note: So we finally have the reveal. Hope you were a little surprised. I was as I wrote it. Still not sure how this story morphed from Callen in a hot Speedo to Callen with poison ivy. Plot bunnies do odd things at times. One more chapter to tie everything up neatly and explain the title. Enjoy and as always feel free to review.