The Mettle of a Man
Summary – How far would Castle go to protect his friends at the 12th and at what personal cost to himself and his relationship to the team? This takes place between "The Belly of the Beast" and "Veritas". Does not include any spoilers for "Veritas".
Author's notes – Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favs. And yes, there's more talking and feeling in this story than action because that's what this story is all about. And a little angst.
Disclaimer – Don't own Castle; Marlowe, ABC, and Disney do. Just writing for fun and because I have these weird plot bunnies that pop into my head.
Rated strong T for language and innuendo.
Chapter 5 – Aftermath
Castle groaned miserably as he felt his stomach roil again. At least he wasn't throwing up any more, but it had been touch and go there for a while when he woke up god knew where to see medical staff hovering over him.
He was sure they had taken at least a pint of blood by now with all the tests they were running on him.
Peterson had walked in a little while later and had the decency to look slightly apologetic. "Good news. Your stats are good, so you shouldn't have any permanent side effects."
"I thought you said you improved good night," Castle whispered hoarsely.
"Oh, we did, but not for the person on the receiving end," Peterson answered matter-of-factly. "We made it work faster, last longer once it hits your system, and become inert faster in the air. And added a hallucinogen. How was that?"
"Yeah, the 6-foot rabbits were a nice touch. You could have at least warned me," Castle replied.
"We're not inviting people to tea, Rick. We're subduing threats." Peterson looked at him. "Besides, would it have made a difference?"
"No," Castle said, trying not to shake his head. He felt like he had guzzled a cheap bottle of champagne too fast. In addition to his stomach trying to rebel at every movement, his mouth was dry and fuzzy, his head pounded, and his eyes felt like they were made of sandpaper.
Peterson paused for a moment. "I hate to bring this up while you're indisposed, but you've obviously bought some of Sly's 'documents' recently…"
"Yes, I did," said Castle. He brought his uninjured arm up to cover his eyes against the bright lights. He had no problem lying to Peterson since the man hadn't been entirely truthful with him. "What happened with Alexis and Paris really rocked me, Coope, and I keep thinking what if these people come after me again or the people that I care about. I just want to make sure they're safe." And it really wasn't a lie; he did want to make sure the team was safe, but not because of the reason he had just said.
Peterson nodded. "Yeah, I can't apologize enough about that, Rick. We really dropped the ball. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but we'll do our best to make sure that it doesn't."
"Thanks," said Castle. "I appreciate that."
"Well, I've got to check on the others while Dr. Jenkins patches you up. Thanks for your help. Our government is grateful for your service."
"Not a problem," Castle responded.
Peterson paused by the door. "And Rick, is there anything else we need to know about from your time with us? Any other souvenirs that you might have?"
"No," said Castle. "But I'm pretty sure you've been through the loft and the house in the Hamptons with a fine tooth comb by now."
Peterson shrugged. "We like to keep things where they should be – makes things easier."
"And Coope, if you found anything strange in my mother's room, I don't want to know about it – or Alexis's either for that matter," Castle said.
"Okay," said Coope with a laugh. "See you at the annual golf tournament?"
"Wouldn't miss it," replied Castle.
Dr. Steve Jenkins hummed as he examined the cut on Castle's arm. "Rick, I think this shirt is a goner. Do you want some scrubs to change into before I stitch up the cut?"
"Just cut the sleeve off, Steve," Castle said wearily. "I don't think I can sit up right now."
"Okay."
Castle cringed slightly as he heard the fabric ripping. This had been one of his favorite shirts but it could always be replaced, unlike his friends.
"And this is going to sting for a moment," said Jenkins.
Castle swore and almost jumped off the table as Jenkins quickly injected his arm several times with a numbing agent. "You're enjoying this," he pouted.
"What? This? No – it's against the Hippocratic oath. But beating you at golf, yes. I could always put you out if that would help," suggested Jenkins.
"No. After you patch me up, I need to check on my fiancé," Castle replied.
"Yeah, Libby told me that she had read the announcement in the paper. Katherine Beckett must be one special lady for you to get married after you swore you'd never do it again."
"She is," Castle said. His stomach roiled again, not because of the drug, but because he thought Kate may have doubts about them – about him – now because of what just happened.
"Can you feel this?" Jenkins asked as he poked Castle's arm.
"No, it's numb."
"Scar or no scar?" Jenkins asked.
"Uh, do I have a choice?" Castle thought for a moment. "No scar."
"This is going to take a little longer then," said Jenkins as he started to stitch the cut closed. "And it would help if you relaxed a little."
"Tell that to the rabbits pounding in my head," Castle retorted.
# # # # # # # # #
Beckett quickly sat down on the bench opposite Dr. Jenkins and buckled the seatbelt as the van door closed.
Dr. Jenkins smiled at her warmly. "It's nice to finally meet the woman who has Rick considering marriage again. I saw the wedding announcement in the paper a couple of months ago, Detective Beckett. Congratulations."
"Thanks, and it's Kate," said Beckett, frowning slightly as the van lurched into movement. "So, Dr. Jenkins—"
"Libby."
"Libby," Beckett said nodding at her, "how long have you known Castle – Rick?" she asked as she shook her head.
"We met shortly after he starting 'researching' the CIA for his books," replied Libby. "I'm the test that they throw at men to see if they have the right stuff when it comes to being an asset. Some do and some don't," she said with a shrug.
She smiled softly at Beckett's curious look. "Go-carting accident when I was 25. I was on the fast track to become the youngest neurosurgeon in the country, but that was before my boyfriend and I went for a spin on a Sunday afternoon. He escaped with just a broken arm, but my T1 and T2 vertebrae were crushed. So now I spend my days in this chair researching better ways to disable a threat … and other things for the CIA."
Libby smiled again. "I can see you're curious, Kate, so feel free to ask me anything, except for classified CIA stuff of course because then I'd have to kill you and that would be rather awkward."
Beckett frowned again as she pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "So when did you two hook up?"
"Oh, that happened several months after he left the agency, not that he was ever an agent." Libby paused, thinking. "When I first met Rick, I thought he had read one too many Bond books and was trying to emulate his hero – we get a few of them like that in the agency and they usually don't last too long. He was this macho metro womanizing shallow 9-year-old on a sugar rush who can't keep his hands to himself jack-ass."
Kate laughed slightly. "That was my first reaction when I met him too." She paused. "So what changed?"
Libby smiled fondly. "A couple of months after he started his research, I came into the break room one day and found him sitting there with a book in front of him, looking like he had lost his best friend. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he couldn't do it anymore – he had always been the one to help Alexis with her homework, but they had promoted her to an advanced math class and he couldn't help her anymore and didn't know what to do. He looked so lost that I volunteered to tutor her – a little anxiously I might add because I thought this was just some ploy to pick me up – but Rick was serious.
"And the more I was around them, the more I got to know Rick, the caring, loving, slightly-overprotective over-zealous father. Don't get me wrong, he could still be a self-centered jack-ass at times, but he was grateful for the help I was giving Alexis."
Beckett nodded. That was also one side of Castle that she loved.
"Anyway, a couple of months after Rick had stopped 'working' at the agency, he called me in a panic. Alexis was having a math meltdown and begged me to come over to help her. I did and we solved her problem. As a reward, we went out for ice cream and to the park. On the way back, we got caught in the shower and were soaked by the time we got back to his loft.
"His car wasn't large enough for my chair, so he called a car service to take me home, but there was this huge traffic jam because of the weather and they said they couldn't get there for about 2 hours. So he offered to wash and dry my hair for me and help me change my clothes so I wouldn't get chilled. And he did…he has great hands…and one thing led to another…" Libby blushed. "But I'm not sure you want to hear that part."
Kate blushed slightly too. "No, no, it's okay."
"Anyway, we dated for a couple of weeks and then I met Steve at one of Castle's poker parties, and the rest as they say is history."
Beckett nodded and thought for a moment. "Did you – did they ever consider Rick becoming an asset?" If he had, they would have never met.
Libby shrugged slightly. "Given his lineage, we thought about it, but like I said, some people have what it takes and some people don't in this line of work. We run very realistic scenarios – not realistic enough that they would permanently cripple or kill a person, but some of them can get very uncomfortable.
"When it came to men, Castle could give as good as he got, and with some pathologically evil twists thrown in at that. And he was good when the direct threats were either from men or women. But when it came to indirect threats, interrogating people who weren't directly involved, he was a big wuss when it came to women and teenagers. Didn't matter if they had just interrogated him – he froze when it came to interrogating them."
Libby paused. "The assessment was that Rick was too nice."
"So, Stumpy – how did Rick get that nickname?" Beckett asked, not sure she wanted to know.
Libby laughed. "That one is pretty funny in retrospect. Rick was always touching things he wasn't supposed to touch, so one of the techs decided to teach him a lesson and left a prototype wrist monitor out where he could find it. And Rick being Rick put it on. The only problem was that the locking device on it was broken and it wouldn't open up. The monitor cost about $500,000, so naturally, they threatened to cut off his hand to get the device off."
"Wow – so how long did that stop him?" Beckett asked.
"About half a minute," Libby replied. "Steve found a way to put a piece of reflective metal behind the monitor and use a laser to cut it off without harming Rick. So then afterward when Rick was playing with the piece of metal, he dropped it and cut his leg fairly badly, hence the nickname Stumpy."
She started to say something else when her phone chirped. She looked down at the number and smiled. "If you excuse me, I have to take this."
"Answer phone," Libby said into the mike by her head. "On speaker."
"Libby, dear, I just wanted to make sure you had a good flight back," came the voice on the other end.
"Yes, thanks, I did, Alice, although we've had a situation so we're going to be a little later than planned."
"No problem," Alice replied. "Why don't you just let Abby spend the night here? That will give you and Steve some alone time."
"Thanks, Alice. That would be great. Hey, is Peanut still up?" Libby asked.
"She's just getting ready for bed and I told her that we'd call and see if you were back yet. Here you go."
"MOMMYYYYYYYY!" came the excited squeal over the phone.
"Hey, peanut," Libby said. "I've missed you, baby."
"And I missed you too, mommy! Guess what! I'm going to be the frog in the school play!"
"That's wonderful," said Libby. "Daddy and I can't wait to see it."
"And me and Grandma Alice are making special welcome home pancakes in the morning just for you and daddy. I love you, mommy."
"I love you too, Peanut."
Alice came back on the line. "We'll see you in the morning. I'm glad you're back."
"Thanks, Alice. See you in the morning."
"Phone off," said Libby as she smiled at Kate. "And that is our little one, Abigail Grace Jenkins." She paused for a moment. "I guess Rick's eternal optimism rubbed off on me and I could see the possibilities of having a family after I met Steve."
Beckett nodded; similar thoughts had also crossed her mind.
"Libby, if it doesn't involve any classified information – and your having to kill me – how did Castle know what was happening and get in touch with the CIA?" she asked.
Libby paused for a moment. "We find our assets work best when their families are safe, so given the circumstances, we check in on Rick from time to time by monitoring his phone, so he called us after Dr. Parish told him about the will," she said simply.
"You listen in on Caste's phone calls?" Beckett asked, a shocked expression on her face. "And he knows?" Oh, she was so going to kill him.
"We monitor for phrases like 'ransom', 'kidnapping'," Libby responded as the van pulled to a stop and the door opened. "And, Kate, I dated Rick for a while, so I filter out certain types of calls."
# # # # # # # # # #
A man in a suit met them at the elevator and quickly escorted them to a hospital-type area.
"Hello, Dr. Jenkins," Libby said as she rolled into the room.
Steve turned from the table and smiled at his wife. "Well, hello, Dr. Jenkins," he said as he quickly crossed the room and kissed her. "I hope you had a good trip."
"Apparently less exciting than what went on here," she said and then looked around. "Where's Rick?"
"Oh, you know him – been poisoned, lost some blood, has 25 stitches, and he wanted to go check on some girl," commented Steve. "But I dosed him with pain killers and antibiotics and had the driver take him home instead since he didn't want to stay the night here."
Libby hummed at him and then looked at Beckett. "Steve, this is Kate Beckett, Rick's fiancée."
"Oh, you're the girl – nice to meet you," said Steve as he extended his hand to shake Beckett's. "You missed him by about half-an-hour. If I had known you were coming, I would have made him wait."
Beckett shook her head. "That's okay. I wasn't sure if I could get away when I found Libby's note."
"I'll have the car drop you off at the loft," said Libby.
"Thanks," Beckett replied.
"Oh, hey, if Rick has any strange symptoms – a rash, fever, unexplained twitching, or drooling – just give me a call," Steve said as he handed Beckett a card. "Otherwise, he should be out for most of the evening."
Beckett nodded. Maybe she'd call Lanie and have her spend the night at the loft also just in case.
# # # # # # # #
The rabbits jumping in Castle's head had gotten worse and he quickly realized he was in no condition to go back to the precinct that night. He was relieved when the car stopped at his building and the driver helped him up to the loft, leaving him at the front door. He assured the man he could make it inside by himself and he wouldn't be driving that night. At this point, he just wanted to lie down, roll over, and die.
He pressed his forward against the door as he put the key in the lock and turned it, glad to be greeted by silence. The CIA and FBI teams had moved the command center to the precinct before he had gone in, leaving no one at the loft at that point.
Castle slowly closed the door behind him and focused on the couch. He was sure he could make it that far before his legs gave out on him.
Once he reached the couch, he collapsed on it and closed his eyes. He'd just lay here for a while and wait for the world to stop spinning. Then he'd call Beckett – except he didn't have his phone, his weary mind reminded him. Peterson must have it.
Yeah, he'd have a white rabbit bring it over, Castle thought as he closed his eyes.
# # # # # # # # #
The next time he awoke, Castle found himself in bed, dressed in a t-shirt and sleep shorts, with no memory of how he had gotten there other than the fact he thought he had chased white rabbits the entire night.
His head still hurt, but not as bad as before and his mouth felt like it was full of cotton – what time was it? He squinted at the clock – 11 am? Was it that late?
He stared at Kate's side of the bed – it looked like it hadn't been slept in.
He had to call her, to tell her what was going on, but first, he really need to pee and brush his teeth and in that order.
Castle stumbled to the bathroom and closed his eyes as he stood over the toilet and groaned in relief. He then pried his eyes open, washed his hands, and picked up his toothbrush, adding toothpaste. He really needed a shower, but he needed to talk to Beckett more, to make sure things were right with them.
Eyes unfocused, he stared at the wall opposite the mirror while he brushed his teeth, until the wall behind him came into focus and he froze.
His robe was there, but Kate's was gone, and when he looked around the bathroom, he could see that other items of hers were gone also – her toothbrush, face wash, hair products, and bath gel. That wasn't a good sign.
Castle quickly spit out the toothpaste and dropped the toothbrush on the counter, rinsing his mouth out using one hand.
He paused as he opened the bedroom door and, gathering his courage, stepped out into the living room. He didn't hear any other sounds in the loft – Martha and Alexis weren't due back from their trip until tomorrow – so he was definitely alone.
But the thing that caught his attention was Beckett's key to the loft lying on the kitchen counter. Castle looked over to where she usually kept her purse and it was gone too.
He closed his eyes and dropped his head as he took several deep breaths. He had saved her but at the same time, had lost her, and he knew without a doubt that he'd do it all again if he had to.
Castle walked over to his liquor cabinet, poured himself a stiff drink, and then walked to the couch and sat down with a heavy heart.
# # # # # # # # #