Wheenona-is a gigantic 'snail' that needs Fionna and Cake's help. She is very innocent and weak. She is a gigantic black slug, with small stripes of white going down her back. She is very lonely, and comes to Fionna and Cake in hopes of finding a partner.

Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.

Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.

SLUGGISH LOVE

Title Card

Fionna and Cake frown as Wheenona continues to sob and bawl before them.

Cake flipped through the channels on Beema's screen madly, at lightning speed. She was sprawled across the couch, a very bored expression across her face. Fionna was sitting next to her, reading the latest edition of The Aaa Analysis, in the section that was reviewing Mother Kee's new fruit pies at her store. There was nothing to adventure about today. It was lazy, and boring, and overall amusing.

The music video for "Em evol uoy, Uoy evol I" by Yenbar came on the screen. Cake growled in annoyance. She hated this song. She tried to turn the channel on the remote, but the screen on Beema remained. Cake frowned. The batteries were dead. "Beema, turn the channel."

Beema didn't. She began to move back and forth to the music.

Cake sat up on her elbow. "Beema, turn the channel!"

Beema still didn't. The screen changed to the volume changing, and the the music was soon blasting from Beema's speakers. Cake hissed and covered her ears. "Beema, come on, that is the most annoying song ever."

Beema didn't listen. She sat up and danced around to the rhythm of the music. Cake glared and turned to Fionna. "Hey, Fifi, can I borrow the paper for a second."

"Sure." Fionna handed the newspaper over to her sister.

Cake took the paper and rolled it into a tight cylinder. Then she angrily brought it down on Beema's head. Beema yelped. "Bad! Bad Beema!" Cake said as she continued to hit the small computer with the newspaper. "Bad!" Beema looked up at Cake, angry. "Now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done."

Beema glared at Cake for a moment before marching over to the corner of the room, plopping down on the wood.

The far wall of the room broke into a million shards of wood. Beema flew across the room and crashed into Cake. A gigantic black snail roared at the three people in the room shrilly. Fionna noticed it wasn't roaring, it was sobbing madly. It charged into the room.

"SNAIL ATTACK!" Fionna and Cake screamed. Cake grabbed Beema quickly and started to run, but the form of the snail suddenly crashed into the three of them. Fionna groaned in disgust. The black snail felt like a big wall of goo.

Soon enough, they smashed into the other wall of the all winced as they felt themselves being bruised and scratched. Fionna felt something drip down on her arm. She looked down and saw a big blob of disgusting goo on her arm. She screeched in disgust and flung it off. "CUPCAKE, HOW DO YOU FIGHT A SNAIL?"

"Hold on, Fifi. I got this!" Cake began to stretch her arm out. Fionna watched as her sister's arm found its way to the kitchen cupboard. Cake opened the cupboard and pushed around in the cupboard, past the basil, parsley, Parmesan, and so on. Finally, she felt the familiar touch of the salt container. She picked it out of the cupboard and stretched her arm back to her. She smashed the top of the container on the wall and pointed the container at the snail, the white salt clear inside. "I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE THIS, MISSY!"

"S-salt?" Suddenly, the black snail stopped sobbing and shrieking. The goo coming from her skin stopped oozing out on the two girls. "But I thought you girls w-were heroins."

"Hold up, Cupcake." Fionna lowered her sister's hand. "We are heroins. We thought you were attacking us. Why'd you break in here all angry, oozing all that gross goo all over us?"

"That's not my angry goo." The gigantic snail sniffed. "That's my sad goo. My name's Wheenona. I'm...s...SAAAAAAAAD!"

Fionna and Cake screeched as the disgusting goo splattered all over them, smelling foul and feeling unearthly. Fionna peeked through her slime-caked eyelids. "JUST CALM DOWN AND TELL US WHAT'S WRONG!"

"I'm lonely." Wheenona sniffed sadly. "I need a boyfriend. I'm already five years old! Please help me."

"Cupcake! Heroin Huddle!" Fionna and her sister huddled together (more or less hugging, since they were already pressed against each other and the wall.) Fionna's voice was muffled against her sister's fur. "Whaddya think?"

"I think our house is all gooed up." scoffed Cake, her muzzle pressed against her sister's waist.

"Yeah, but she's just a little goober lookin' for love." assured Fionna, smiling a bit.

There was a beating silence, and then Cake smiled warmly. "Alright, let's help. Huddle break."

Fionna and her sister broke apart (by which they simply stopped hugging). Fionna looked up at the giant snail, smiling. "OK, SISTER, WE'LL HELP."

The gigantic snail cheered. She tossed Fionna and Cake to her left and charged through the wall, showering the two girls in shards of wood. She broke out on the other side and began to pull up. The base of the Treehouse began to crack and split. Soon, the entire base was sitting on Wheenona's backside. Fionna and Cake yelped as they were swerved to the right from the force.

Fionna ran up the ladder to the outside tree limb. She climbed up the wooden spokes until she reached the boat. She climbed inside with Cake, the sun being guarded off by the umbrella in the boat. Fionna ran over to the edge and looked down at the gigantic snail as the grass and bushes and trees moved by them. "DON'T TAKE OUR HOUSE!"

The snail stopped. Fionna and Cake teetered from the sudden cease of movement. The snail's head turned to them, her little eyes welled with tears. "Y-you're going t-to leave me?"

Fionna and Cake shared tragic glances. Then they smiled and looked back down at the snail. "Easy there, no one's gonna leave you." sighed Fionna.

The snail cheered and began to charge forward again. Fionna turned to her sister. "Hey, Cupcake. You know what time it is?"

"I dunno. But you're probably gonna say..." the two girls fist-bumped. "Love Time."

"Alright, Wheenona." Fionna said to the gigantic snail. "If you want a boyfriend, you need to be yourself."

"How do I be myself?" asked Wheenona.

"Uh..." Fionna frowned and turned to her sister. "How does she be herself?"

"Whee, you just do whatever you want." smiled Cake in assurance. "Just make sure it comes from the inside."

"Like sad goo?"

"NO! Nonononononono!" The two girls screamed at the exact same time. Cake continued. "You keep that kinda stuff inside."

Cake suddenly jumped out of the boat. As she flew through the air, she began to grow in size. By the time she had landed, she was completely huge, the size of a yacht, and was eye-level with Wheenona. She turned around and cupped her paws around her eyes, in binocular-shapes. "Let's find you a guy."

She observed their surroundings. Mountains. Grass. Trees. Bushes. Yada yada...Aha! Cake smiled as she saw a decent-looking male snail in the distance, with a great big black shell with flames going up the sides. "Perfect." Cake shrunk back down and stretched into the boat once more.

Wheenona moved forward nervously. As the male snail caught sight of her, he stood straighter, sucking in as much as he could. "Hey."

"Hi." Wheenona said very quickly. Fionna and Cake glanced at each other.

"You seem reasonable." The male snail smiled. "We should go see a movie sometime."

"She's so got this." smiled Fionna. Cake nodded.

However, Wheenona was freaking out. She was sweating like crazy (by which I mean she was oozing out madly) and was trembling all over.

"I like scary movies." The male snail offered.

"Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh."

The male snail frowned. "Are you OK?"

Wheenona screamed. The male snail jumped. Wheenona swayed back and forth madly. Fionna and Cake fell flat on their backs. Inside the Treehouse's base, the furniture was toppling over, shattering, and swaying. The contents of all the cupboards and cabinets were spilling out onto the floor, rolling across the room. The plates shattered. In Fionna's room, her silver sword fell from the shelf, splitting her bed in half.

Fionna and Cake watched as the male snail sped away. Fionna turned to her sister. "Cupcake! Our house! What do we do?"

"I got it." Cake grew big again and stepped next to Wheenona. When Wheenona saw her, she ceased her panicking and silenced. "Hey, are you alright?" asked Cake in concern. "You kinda freaked out there. You need to calm down. You're scaring guys and jackin' up our house."

Wheenona sighed heavily. She looked up at Cake with damp eyes. "Are you gonna leave me?"

"Aw, who could leave you?" cooed Cake. "C'mere." She wrapped her arms around Wheenona, ignoring how slimy and gooey her fur was getting.

"Thank you for not leaving me." sniffed Wheenona.

"Your insecurity is what makes you endearing." Cake assured her.

"OK, break it up." Fionna called down with a smirk on her face. "We have boys to attend to."

"Yeah, Wheenora." Cake let go of the giant black snail and stretched down into the boat. "We need to get you talkin' to some boys."

"Talkin to boys is hard." sighed Wheenora.

"No it's not." Cake assured her. "Watch. Fifi, you be the girl snail. I'll be the guy snail."

Cake's form began to stretch and morph. Soon, she somewhat resembled a male snail, but covered in fur and such. Fionna yelped and shuttered. "Do I have to?"

"C'mon, Fifi, we're just pretending." Cake assured her. "Do it for love."

Fionna muttered something. She looked down at Wheenora, who was silently pleading her. Fionna smiled. "OK. I'll do it for this gal." Fionna turned to Cake, who was waiting for her to start. "Hello."

Cake changed her voice so that it was low and deep, like a man's. "Hey there, sweet thang."

Fionna shivered with disgust.

"How you doin'?" asked 'Cake.'

Fionna silenced for a moment. Then she screamed, "NO! I can't do this, Cupcake. I. AM. OUT."

Wheenona was staring at them both. "I thought you were doing pretty good."

"Here, Fifi," Cake offered her sister. "This time you be the guy and I'll be the girl."

Cake's form changed again, this time into a female snail. "Hello."

Fionna stared. "Uh...Hey there...?"

"So what are you up to?" Cake batted her eyelashes.

"Uh...trying to...find a girlfriend...?"

"See, Wheenora, it's easy." Cake morphed back into her normal form. "Just do what we did."

Wheenora approached a yellow snail with a simple green snail. It started with Wheenora saying hello. He said hello back. Then Wheenora asked what he was up to. He said he was just standing around. And somehow, it all ended with the male snail speeding away.

Wheenona began to sniffle.

"Aw, c'mere." Cake grabbed Fionna and stretched to Wheenora's size again and jugged her tightly as Fionna stood on the ground.

"I wish you two were guys." Wheenora sighed.

"Stay focused, Wheenona." Cake said as she backed up so that she could look Wheenona in the eyes. "Do you have any cool talents guys may like?"

"No..."

"Uhm...Hey, Fifi, show her how to fight."

Cake stretched into the Treehouse window. When she drew her hand back out, Fionna's practicing dummy and Fionna's bo staff were in her paw. She set the dummy on the ground and handed Fionna the bo staff.

Fionna did a small show. She began to spin the bow staff madly, bringing it over her head and to her other side. Then she twirled it above her head, jumped in a spin, and brought it hard on the ground like a professional.

Cake nodded in approval. "You think you can do that, Wheenona?"

"I dunno." Wheenona did a shrugging movement.

Cake pondered for a moment. "I know! How about some musical talents?"

Cake raised and lowered her voice in a singing melody. Then she looked up at Wheenona again. "Can you do that?"

Wheenona paused for a moment, making a 'hmmmm' sound through her mouth. Then two arms sprouted from her form and grabbed the bo staff.

Wheenona raised and lowered her voice in a song. Fionna and Cake had to admit, she was actually pretty good. Wheenona then began to twirl the bo staff in a very professional way, minus the jumping and turning.

"Hey, Eddie." the male snail, covered in a nice blue shell, turned to his friend. "What's that sound?"

Eddie listened. There was a magical melody spreading around them, raising and lowering like a siren's song. "I have absolutely no clue, Noah."

Fionna and Cake cheered Wheenona on. Then they heard a sort of rumbling in the distance. Not like a shaky, uneven rumbling, but a more smooth rumbling, like a thousand slowly-moving snails.

Just like that, tons of snails began to pop up in the horizon. Burgundy snails, garden snails, giant Ghana snails, giant African snails, and so on. One after the other, they were making their way towards the three girls.

"These guys look pretty serious." frowned Fionna, worrying what was going to happen.

"Let's let Wheenona do her thing." Cake grabbed Fionna and stretched them back up into the boat. They awaited for whatever was going to happen. "You got this, Wheenona!"

Wheenona finally noticed the incoming snails. She began to sing and twirl the bo staff louder and faster. The snails moved in faster.

"Look at her go!" cheered Cake.

"She's bringing in a lot of guys..." said Fionna in great worry.

Soon, Wheenona was surrounded by snails. And the snails were swaying and dancing back and forth to the music. But they were bumping up against the Treehouse. Wood and leaves began to pour everywhere. If the Treehouse had been damaged when Wheenona freaked out, then it was absolute chaos in the Treehouse now. The shards, pieces, and chunks of all the Treehouse's contents were FLYING across the room, breaking through the windows and floorboards and tearing up everything in their paths. Beema was flying left to right, screaming.

"WHEENONA!" screamed Fionna. "THESE DUDES ARE JACKING UP OUR HOUSE! STOP!"

"No." Wheenona said simply, pausing from her singing. "Boys are finally noticing me!" She then continued in her singing, much louder than before.

Fionna felt a sudden lurch, along with a sickening crack. She and Cake looked over the edge of the boat at the branch that was holding them up. It wasn't used to such reckless movement. Splinters of wood were jutting out from it. And with a loud crack, the boat gave away.

Just as the boat began to fall, Cake grabbed her sister and stretched them down to the ground, the boat crashing next to them. Cake turned to her sister. "Let's wedge the house off of her."

Fionna nodded and ripped out her ruby sword. She jabbed it under the Treehouse's mass, and began to pull down. But it was no use to do so, as the ruby sword-SOLID RUBY-began to BEND like RUBBER.

Cake put her paws flat and stretched them under the Treehouse. She pulled and pulled, her muscles straining, her fur soaked with sweat, but it did absolutely nothing. With a gasp, she stopped. Then she felt something on her paws. Raising a furry eyebrow, she pulled out her paws, a disgusting slimey goo pulling out with them. "It's no use, Fifi. It's stuck together with Snail Slime."

Fionna was suddenly struck to the ground by one of the male snails. She landed on the grass, flat on her back. Cake began to run for her, but just as she was five feet away, a snail hit her between the shoulders, and she landed right next to Fionna.

The two girls looked at their house as it was being torn to pieces in vain. Wheenona refused to do anything. The male snails refused to stop. They didn't care about love anymore. No lovr had THIS much destruction.

Suddenly, Cake was hit with a flashback.

She smashed the top of the container on the wall and pointed the container at the snail, the white salt clear inside. "I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE THIS, MISSY!"

"S-salt?"

Cake stared at the snails. Their skin. Skin that was slimey, and gooey, and stretchy. Skin that was horribly penetrable to SALT.

Cake's eyes narrowed in courage. "I'm goin' in."

"What?" exclaimed Fionna.

But just as soon as she said it, Cake was dashing forward to the house. Fionna called after her, "CUPCAKE! NO! YOU'LL GET SLIMED! OR DANCED ON!"

Cake didn't listen. Her mind was set. Just as she reached the barrier that separated their safety and the snails, she crouched down and began to stretch. She stretched upwards, above the heads of the snails, and through a window (which was very hard, considering the window was covered in sharp shards of glass and the Treehouse was moving madly and she was probably going to get cut very badly.) Once inside, she was shocked.

The entire floor was covered in debris: broken glass, torn pictures, broken furniture, shredded books, demolished bookcases, etc. Not to mention bundles of leaves and splinters of wood. Floorboards from the upper floors littered everything. Gigantic tree limbs jabbed down like swords.

Finally, she saw the cupboard, the salt container inside, glowing out like a beacon to her. She began to stretch her paw across the room, through the furniture and tree limbs. She winced as she felt her arm being squished and cut by the broken shards of furniture and glass. Finally, she reached the cupboard and grabbed the salt container. She pulled her arm back in. And stretched out the window, down to an awaiting Fionna. She turned to her sister and showed her the salt container.

Fionna gasped. But after giving a sad glance over to Wheenona, the snails, and their damaged Treehouse, she gave a tragic nod.

Cake turned on her paw and walked over to the barrier. Stretching up on her legs so that she, Wheenona, and the snails were at eye-length, she raised the salt container. "Wheenona! I'm going to give you to the count of three, missy! One."

No response, just dancing.

"Two."

No response, just singing.

"Three."

No response, just damaging.

"I hoped it wouldn't have to come to this." Cake raised her other paw to the salt contanier. She tipped the container over, expecting at least a very tiny pile of salt, but instead, there was one grain. She brought the salt-bearing paw to her muzzle and blew out a puff of air.

The grain of salt soared through the air, turning and tumbling. No one seemed to notice.

Everything seemed to go slow motion.

First, Wheenona was singing at the top of her lungs.

Then, the salt touched her skin.

And it scalded her face.

A gigantic blister popped up on Wheenona's skin, the size of a large dog. Sizzling, burning, somewhat bubbling. Vapors of steam shot up from it. It was a fiery red, mixed with orange and white. The skin around it was black and burning. Wheenona shrieked in agony. The male snails froze in place and stared. Wheenona reared back in pain. The Treehouse slipped right off her back and crashed onto the grass with a thunderous BOOM!

Wheenona suddenly stopped shrieking. The male snails had formed a wide circle around her, gawking and staring.

"Aw, gross, dude!" a snail cried. "She's naked!"

The snails broke into booming laughter. However, Wheenona did not look offended in any single way. She actually only looked confused. "Naked? But I always look like this."

"Wheenona, you never had a shell?" clarified Cake.

Wheenona shook her head.

"Whee, you're not naked!" exclaimed Cake in laughter. "You're a SLUG!"

"Me? A slug?"

"Yeah, girl!" chuckled Fionna. "That's why you have so much trouble with guy snails! You need some guy SLUGS!"

"But I don't know any guy slugs." frowned Wheenona.

"Actually, I have something to confess."

All attention turned to a single male snail. He was yellow-skinned, with a bright blue shell splashed with red paint. He actually looked rather good-looking, for a snail. As everyone watched, his shell slipped off cleanly. "I'm not a snail. I'm a slug. I only pretended to be a snail because I thought people would judge me."

Wheenona stared.

"That's gross." groaned Fionna as she watched Wheenona and the male snail, whose name turned out to be Coged, nuzzle each other in front of their Treehouse. After Wheenona and Coged had arranged a date, Wheenona apologized for her stubborness and offered to bring their Treehouse back to the trunk. When she did so, Fionna and Cake went to work and began to fix everything. They worked on assembling the Treehouse's trunk and base together, along with the window. Beema said she was going to take care of all the things inside the house.

"Don't deny love, Fifi," Cake reminded her. "Do not deny love."

TRIVIA

This episode shows that Fionna had more than one sword.

The Land of Aaa has its own newspaper, The Aaa Analysis.