"All hands, this is the captain," announced Jonathan. "I think some of you have an idea of what I'm going to be talking about. Certainly the people who were directly involved know about this, and have probably been bracing themselves. But one of them said it was like tearing off a bandage quickly. I guess I'm about to do that."
He paused to collect himself. "We have been reviewing that database. And it's not all sunshine and roses. There were several occasions where various members of the crew misbehaved. Some were more serious than others. But they are a matter of public record, and we are quite certain that a lot of that information is lurking in various personal logs. Rather than make everyone piece everything together, we would like to tell you everything that happened. First, I'd like to start with Crewman Sloane."
He went on for a while, talking about her insubordination and then her part in the riot and, finally, her 'business'. "It was, I am certain, not something that Crewman Sloane was proud of at the time. I'm sure she feels pretty badly about it now. But I hope that the crew can be kind to her. These things can happen when people are depressed, and feel they are being pushed to their extreme limits."
=/\=
Sandra was in the Observation Lounge, listening with a lot of other people. Sophie Creighton put an arm on her shoulder. "You did some bad things, but I bet we all did," she said.
"Are we still friends?" Sandra asked nervously.
"Of course."
=/\=
The captain went on some more. "And now for the trial. This is an unpleasant chapter in the other NX-01's history. But they shared it with us, warts and all. I'm sure that they felt we could learn something from it. They did not hold back. They did not censor the information, so far as I can tell. And they had no motivation to lie to us. If anything, they would have had a motivation to retract and redact a lot of this information. But they didn't. I have to believe that this information is correct and complete. And so I will tell you about the sexual assault that was perpetrated on Crewman Patti Socorro, and its aftermath."
=/\=
In Navigation, Patti sat with Felicity Reese. "It was in my personal logs," Patti said, "but that doesn't make it any easier to hear about it. I dunno if I can talk to those guys, or spend time with them, or anything."
"I'm not saying that you should give them all free passes and clean slates," Felicity said, "but maybe you can look at them individually, and make your best judgments. If you never wanna talk to any of them again, well, I get the feeling they're gonna understand that. But maybe listen to the information before making a final determination, okay?"
=/\=
When the captain finally finished talking about not only the trial but the eventual deaths of Chang, Curtis, Reed, Hamboyan, Harris and Ketchum during the attempt to retrieve Curtis and Chang, he paused. "I know how shocking all of this is. But I think we'd hardly have complete information if it was all positive. A lot of it was positive, you know. But this was not so much. We have a chance here, all of us. Our chance is to make it all better than it was. I can't say whether we will be able to get a planet or two for agriculture. I hope we can. I can't say whether we'll again be able to pick up Ikaaran women to become brides. I definitely have a vested interest in that. I can't say whether this ship will make it back to 2154, but I think we'll all give it the old college try. Together, we will all do what we can. I have faith in all of you – even in the people who I have some rather serious and disturbing records about. They, too, deserve chances and the ways and means of proving themselves. Let's get to our destination – 2154 – together, with as clean a slate as possible. Thank you."
=/\=
The group in the Observation Lounge began to disperse. "I wonder if we'll have mixers or things like that," said Sekar Khan, "for we are supposed to have a lot of weddings. But I am thinking that a bit of awkwardness could be averted if there were parties or the like."
"That's a good idea," said Colleen Romanov, "I wonder who we should talk to about that."
=/\=
On the Bridge, Hoshi had the same idea. "Sir," she said to Captain Archer, "my logs say that there was a Morale Committee, and I chaired it. It eventually went away – I guess after a while it wasn't needed, when people started pairing up. But I think it might be good to revisit that idea."
"Oh?"
"Specifically, I was thinking of a party or something. I mean, a lot of us are supposed to be paired up in some way or another. I bet everyone is trying to figure out some way to break the ice. God knows I am. A party could do that."
"Serving alcohol would be ill-advised," T'Pol cautioned.
"Agreed," said Hoshi, "I'm just thinking of, a little music, some nice food and a little time off for most people. That sort of thing – I mean, according to my logs, we were a ship where there were dances."
"Dances?" asked Malcolm, blanching. That was not a part of his skill set.
"Yeah," confirmed Hoshi, "I don't think anyone was necessarily that good. But people did it. I'm not saying we'll be exactly like that, or anything, but aren't we the same people? At least, for now?"
"At some point, there's a divergence," offered Travis, looking at his instruments as he changed course in order to duck behind a planet, "In fact, hasn't it already happened? Those people didn't have a database. But we do. We're already different from them."
"That is logical," said the Vulcan.
"Actually, uh, T'Pol? Can you join me in my Ready Room, please? Malcolm, take command."
"Certainly, sir," said the Tactical Officer.
Once the door to the Ready Room had closed, the captain noted, "Hoshi's right. But you are, too. I've got records that say that the first party didn't end so well."
"Oh?"
"It was a Mardi Gras party," he explained, "so there were costumes. And there was alcohol served. But then the ship had a slight engagement. I don't think it was dangerous, but we just weren't prepared."
"Perhaps a social gathering would be best advised if attendance were confined to just one shift."
"That's an idea," said the captain, "although we do know that a number of couples crossed shift lines. Jennifer Crossman is day shift; Aidan MacKenzie works the nights."
"Be that as it may," she said, "but who is to say that there will always be the same configurations?"
=/\=
After dinner, Lili sat in the galley as the sanitizer chugged away, cleaning that evening's dishes. The door swished open. She looked up. "Are you lost, Crewman?"
"No," he said. It was Brian Delacroix, who was in Security.
"Then what can I do for you?"
"My logs say that I worked in Food Service. You actually taught me to cook."
"I did?"
"You did," he said.
"Did you, uh, take over for me after, uh, after I died? I have some information but I admit I haven't read every single scrap of my logs."
"I didn't," he said, "It was your son. But I worked side by side with him after, uh, after you were gone. Every, uh, every log entry I had about it said that I loved working here in the galley."
"That's good. Have you talked to Lieutenant Reed? Maybe he can't spare you this time around."
Brian clicked open his communicator. "Delacroix to Reed."
"Yes?" Malcolm's voice was a little tinny in the communicator's speaker.
"I'm at the galley. Can I talk to you?"
"By all means. I shall be along directly. Reed out."
"Will Slocum should be here, too," Lili flipped open her communicator to call him.
She and Brian waited together, and she asked him, "Well, what would you want to learn first?"
"I dunno," he said, "maybe something easy."
"We could start with things like making a chiffonade."
"What's that?"
"It's when we cut herbs like basil or sometimes spinach or lettuce into long strips. It looks nice on the plate."
"Oh, cool."
The doors opened, and Lieutenant Reed and Will Slocum walked in. "Well, what's up, O'Day?" asked Will.
"Brian here has a request," Lili reported.
"I, uh, my logs say that I went to work in Food Service. And I think I'd like to. That is, if you can spare me, Lieutenant."
Malcolm thought for a moment. "Well, it appears that I can. I am most likely going to get Private Chang as one of my charges. The Major had asked if I would give that a try, but I didn't have the space. This could work out."
"I can always use the help here," Will opined, "So I guess you're hired, Del. Maybe start tomorrow, all right?"
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sirs," Brian departed.
"I'm outta here, too," Will shrugged, "with more of you, I'm thinking I won't be doing a lot of the cleanup. You all right with that, O'Day?"
"Sure," she replied. He, too, left.
Malcolm looked at her. "Is this going to mean more work for you?"
"In the beginning, probably, but I imagine it'll even out soon enough."
There was quiet and then a bell dinged. "Ah, that's the sanitizer," she got up.
He followed her over and helped her unload it. "I, uh, I was wondering if you and I could talk a bit."
"All right." She took a bowl out of the big machine.
"It seems we played a great deal of Scrabble. And I taught you how to play chess. You gave me some cooking lessons as well."
"I see."
"We had an interesting arrangement – you, me and him. Phlox probably wouldn't see it as too terribly unique. But it feels that way to me. Have you been reading about, that is to say, about us?"
"I have," Lili admitted, "but I also hit the pillow and I'm out these days. It doesn't mean I'm not curious, though."
"I can't say what your relationship with him was like. But you were wed and you were together for a good three decades. I have to believe you were content. As for you and I, I can only go by my own logs. And I shall tell you," he sighed a little, "I can tell how happy I was. It's like a tidal wave reading it. It's, it's overwhelming. I can feel the emotions; they're rising up from the PADD like, like heat waves."
"What are you saying?"
"Here, I'll read something to you, all right?"
"Um, okay." She had been putting bowls away and stopped. She sat down.
"All right." He cleared his throat and recited.
"I will rise by your time
And watch you separate eggs
As diligently as an atom is split
And you will watch me shave
As the shift begins
And he will take your hand
As we pass from one day to the next
And I will miss you for four days
Yet even then
I will rise by your time."
"That's lovely," she said.
"Lili, I wrote that poem for you. It was, God, it was perhaps a month before I passed."
She went slack-jawed. "I, I don't know what to say."
"I don't either," he admitted. "I have, I have no experience with this. But I am certain that; that this was written because of, of rather deep feelings."
"Yeah," she managed to squeak out. "Holy cow."
"I, I don't mean to unsettle you in any manner," he stammered, "I just wanted you to know." He left.
She sat there, dumbfounded, for a while. "What do I say to that? My God, what do I say? What do I do? And when it comes to Jay, what, what's supposed to happen there?"
=/\=
Malcolm Reed's Personal Log, July twenty-fourth, 2037
I recited that poem for her. And I don't know whether it was a good idea or not. She is deeply affected. That much is obvious. I don't know how it makes me feel, in all honesty. It's as if I've got steps one and five and eighty-seven of a formula. And putting them all together is most difficult. Where do we begin? Or have I frightened her off?
=/\=
Jay Hayes's Personal Log, July twenty-fourth, 2037
I got a notification that Reed will accept Chang. So that's taken care of. We'll do more shuffling. I may end up getting Sloane as a new MACO. She came over and expressed an interest. I think that might work.
The revelations about her were terrible, but she seems to be taking it pretty well. I won't stand in the way of Sloane transferring over here, but I'll wait on Ensign Sato to give the go-ahead.
As for other things, I read my logs and I find I'm reliving the emotions. It's a lot of later stuff, and it's very, well, it's loving. I am almost shocked. Me, a father? Me, a husband? I wonder who the hell that guy was. Then again, I bet Sloane wonders who that woman was, too. I'm not the only one who's unacquainted with the self, I suppose.
But there are earlier log entries, and those make a lot more sense to me. I was obsessed with my ex, Susan Cheshire. She was in the forefront of my thoughts for months. I think I had to go through that process before I could be free to really care.
And I think I need to go through that process again.
I think about Susan again, about what happened and how it ended. And I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of that now. That saddens me, for she didn't deserve me leaving her and really hurting her like that.
I know I should be thinking about the here and now. I get that part. No one needs to remind me. But right now, my thoughts are far away. It's like my moods and my personality and my regrets and all of that all stayed in 2154, while the physical me took this funhouse ride to 2037.
I know I should shake this, and concentrate on today. And that means Lili O'Day, really, when you get right down to it. But I don't know the first thing I'd say to her. Why does this have to be so goddamned difficult?
=/\=
Ethan Shapiro's Personal Log, July twenty-fourth, 2037
I have been reading my logs. And I know everyone else has, too. Mine are disturbing. I ended up with an Ikaaran, Bithara. And that's all well and good, but it turns out that, since I couldn't have Karin Bernstein, I tried to off myself. I was comatose; it was like I'd had a stroke. It was oxygen deprivation. I eventually got back the ability to speak but I never walked right after that. How could I have done such a thing?
And why? I like Karin – don't get me wrong – but as a sister and a friend. Why did I end up so in love with her that I despaired like that?
=/\=
José Torres's Personal Log, July twenty-fourth, 2037
If we never pick up Ikaaran women, I don't know what I'll do. Then again, there are a good twenty other guys who I bet are asking themselves that exact same question.