So, what happens next? Find out! And if you don't know what tsundere means, Google it. Thanks for reviewing, Sideshow Cellophane 26 and fuzzyslippers1005!

Days continued to pass. And as they passed, I started to notice something happening to Bart. Back in Springfield, he'd had multiple sort-of girlfriends. He'd first had a crush on Laura, my friend and neighbour, and she'd admitted to me (and him) that if he was older than us, she'd go out with him. Bart's first "girlfriend" was Reverend Lovejoy's daughter Jessica, who was a budding criminal and siren, and they eventually broke up after she framed Bart for stealing from the church collection plate. There were other girls, too. He'd even had a strange connection with a tsundere girl from juvie. I knew the signs of Bart getting a crush. He'd look at the girl as if she was the only person in the room, he'd get depressed over her not noticing, and he'd talk about her all the time.

So when I noticed him looking out of the window at the Pataki's stoop, I assumed the obvious. But he immediately left when he saw Helga going up the stoop.

"Who are you looking for?" I asked. "By that reaction, it's not the Pink Personality Complex."

"Her?" Bart scoffed. "Sure, she's tough, but who ever would like her?"

I smiled. "Now Bart, every person has their own standards of-" I couldn't restrain my laughter. "Oh, I couldn't say that with a straight face. You're right, Bart, she's never going to get a date with her attitude and looks!" But then I got serious. "So who is it?"

"Who's what?"

"Don't play dumb, Bart Simpson. You have a crush on a girl. You're my brother, I know those signs. Who is she?" Then I had an idea. "Oh. Oh, I get it."

"What?" snapped Bart.

"You were looking out for Helga because you thought she might have someone with her. You have a crush on Phoebe, don't you?" I started laughing. "Oh, wow. You're wasting your time."

I'd gotten Lisa to tell me everything about the relationships in that class. She'd told me what she'd observed, and she'd noticed something very interesting about the inside of the door of Phoebe's locker.

"She has a crush on Gerald." I told Bart. That was one thing Lisa was sure of. "There's a picture of him in her locker."

Bart's face fell. "Are you sure?"

I shrugged smoothly. "Maybe. If you don't believe me, go next door and ask Helga about it. She's Phoebe's best friend, she should know."

"Friend?" Bart scoffed. "Have you seen the way she treats Phoebe? I always see the two of them in the cafeteria. Phoebe gets pushed around all the time. So Helga will say 'fetch me a chocolate milkshake' and Phoebe will say 'fetching', and Helga will just remind her to get a bendy straw."

I shrugged. "I don't know. Lisa told me they're always together. There's a reason why she's barely talked to Phoebe so far. Anyway, Helga should still know. Go ask her."

"Are you kidding? Ask her?" Bart said incredulously.

"Well, if you're too scared of a nine-year-old girl, I'll go ask her." I taunted.

"I'm not scared. I just don't want to get anywhere near that girl."

"Well, I think I'll just go ask her myself, then." I smirked. I had said before that I wanted to find out what was in Helga's room that made her stop scowling. Now, I was planning to find out.

I walked straight over to the Pataki house and knocked on the door. It was answered by who I assumed to be Helga's dad, a great huge guy with a gruff voice. "What?"

I looked at him, seeing where Helga got her ears and face, poor girl.

"Hi, Mr Pataki." I said brightly. "Is Helga home?" I knew she was, but what else could I say?

"Oh yeah, right." Helga's dad said before yelling up the stairs. "Olga, get down here!"

"It's 'Helga', Bob!" a familiar voice called back. "I'm coming!"

This was a surprise. Helga called her dad by his first name – 'Bob', while he couldn't even be bothered to remember hers. Even I didn't call my mom and dad by their first names. Only Bart ever called Dad "Homer", although Lisa hadn't been able to say "Daddy" as a baby and could only say "Homer", although she could say "Mommy", "David Hasselhoff", "Stephanie" (her second word), and of course, her first word, "Bart".

Anyway, back to this. Bob Pataki went back to the living room the minute Helga and I were face to face.

"What do you want, Goth Girly?" she demanded.

"I take that as a compliment, Pataki." I said pleasantly. "Don't get the idea I wanted to come here. Bart's just too much of a wimp to ask you. Now how about we talk in your room?"

"How about we don't talk at all?" Helga shot back.

"I can take you in a fight, Pataki." I scowled. "We're gonna talk, and we're gonna talk in your room. Relax, it's not like I'm going to go looking in your closet to see if you have any secrets."

I caught the flash of fear on Helga's face. Bingo! There was something in her closet. I'd have to make up some excuse sometime and find out what she was hiding.

"Get on with it." she scowled. "We can talk here. Just say whatever it was."

I sighed. "Fine. Bart has a crush on Phoebe. I know she has a crush on Gerald. I'm just asking because Bart wanted to be sure."

Helga sighed. "Is that all? Yeah, Phoebe likes Tall Hair Boy. But if your brother wants to ask her out, why doesn't he just do it? She's not seriously dating him or anything."

"OK, Hells." I said brightly. "That wasn't so hard, was it? Bye." And with that, I left the house.

I told Bart what she'd said. "So go ask Phoebe out next time you see her, why don't you?" Then I added "And I know that Helga is hiding something in her closet. I am completely serious when I say that I am going to search her room sometime when she's not around. Wanna come with whenever that is?"

I recognized the smile on Bart's face. It was his "troublemaker" smile. "Just try and stop me, Steph."

As it happens, we had the opportunity the very next day.

This is just one part of the story. Maybe Helga and Arnold will be more prominent than I thought at first. I have another storyline in mind, but anyway, please review!