Returning home from winter not long after midnight, she had just climbed into bed when there was a knock on her chamber door. Clarion padded over to the door, half asleep.
"Queen Clarion?" It was Bernard.
She tried frantically to draw up fake tears and pinched her nose and cheeks to try to look like she had been crying. She was too tired to try to cry.
"Please, my queen."
Desperate, she did the only thing that had ever made her have fake tears-she bumped her nose against the doorframe. With an oath muttered under her breath, she grabbed her nose with both hands and tried to stop the throbbing. At least she hadn't hit it hard enough to make sugar drip out. With sufficient tears on her cheeks, she opened the door.
Bernard's brow furrowed and he stepped inside to take her in his arms. "Shhhh, it's alright. I've been calling every twenty minutes for three hours. I know you're angry that I had to take them, but it's your own law," he said and tucked her head under his chin.
She wanted to fling her head back into his jaw.
"There, there. I...I'm afraid I have some bad news. I don't want to tell you, but as the queen you must know..." He stroked her loose locks with great familiarity, she noted, as he kept her wrapped in his arms. "Lord Milori was guilt-ridden over what he had done. I think seeing the other two be exiled first was too much for him. He...he threw himself in before I could unchain him," he said slowly.
She pulled back, not faking the shock on her face that he had just lied to her. "Did he...?"
He closed his eyes with grief. "I tried to go after him, but he went down into the water. The waves are strong in the middle of the ocean. I'm sorry."
Stumbling backwards out of his arms, she put a hand over her mouth. He had planned a murder, and he thought he was covering it up perfectly with no witnesses. Why? For years he had been her trusted right hand in many matters. Now he had gone after the fairy she loved, believing he had murdered him. Tears filled her eyes. Milori was right-it did hurt. It suddenly hurt a great deal to be betrayed. How many others were in on it? Worse yet, what were they planning? She shook her head. Some part of her had secretly believed both Milori and him were innocents.
"Yes. I'm sorry, darling." He pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest.
"Why?" she whispered, wanting to know what had made him a traitor.
"I don't know. We'll never know. I think it was guilt that got to him."
"Do you think? Would it have you?" She waited, keeping up the tears for the charade.
"I wouldn't start a fire like that. But if I did...I probably would have thrown myself over too."
Pulling away from him, she set a hand to her head. "I need to be alone."
"Let me help you with your treatment-"
"No," she snapped. Then she finished calmly, "I want to be alone."
He kissed her and then left.
She sat before her vanity and stared. Picking up the bottle of sugar, she uncapped it while her thoughts continued whirling through her head. Sprinkling the sugar on her back of her shoulder the best she could, she absently moved on to the honey. Her wings ached, and she knew they would be painful in the morning. That led her thoughts back to Milori's words, "...your body is more fragile than anyone else's." She had the most talent and the most power, but she had little ability to protect anyone from true harm. Milori would have died if Gliss and Sled hadn't been there to help hold him up. How could she not have seen signs of Bernard's betrayal? How could she have spent day after day with him and not seen the anger? A fairy had died years ago because of her. She looked her reflection in the eye, her anger bubbling up. Yet again, fairies had paid with their lives for her misjudgment. Who else would pay the price? Surely Bernard wasn't alone in this. She needed Milori for this, but she refused to let him get near the danger-he was too reckless, constantly throwing himself in harm's way to protect her. Her kingdom was threatened, and she had no idea how to get Bernard to talk. She could arrest him for the attempted murder of Milori, but she needed to know if he set the fire or if the murderer was still loose. Frustrated, angry tears filled her eyes. She flung her bottle of honey across the room and buried her face in her hands. It shattered into dozens of glittering pieces as the honey oozed out to slowly crawl over them.