Title: Plan B
Chapter 2 – Trying to Move Forward?

A/N: Hey thanks everyone for the very warm and encouraging feedback. You will need Kleenex's in certain parts but I want to explore Severide's angst a bit more and you'll see flashbacks to Shay in here, their decision and the aftermath that leads to the birth (snippets to fill in a few gaps) and hope that's okay. Please enjoy.

"Daddy!" Aurora cries as she buries her head in Casey's shoulder as Casey turns and hurries back to his room, grabs his phone and calls his friend. After leaving an irate message he sends the same angry text message and then puts down his phone to wait.

"Shhh shhh shhh baby girl. Daddy will be home soon."

"Want mommy," she softly begs as Casey picks up his phone and dials Severide's number again; his mind silently begging his friend to pick up.

Casey carries Aurora back to his room and starts to rock her in his arms, his lips starting to hum what he hopes is a soothing tune. Her tired eyelids start to close and his mind takes some comfort in the fact that he can still work his magic and put his precious goddaughter to sleep. Once she's asleep, he gently places her back in her own bed and then hurries back to his room and his phone. He knows that Severide isn't dealing with Shay's passing in a very constructive way but he can't be the one to tell him how. When Hallie died he had to come to terms with it on his own – with the support of his friends. He'd offer the same for Severide but he knows his friend has to be the one to take the lead.

Finally the door handle starts to jiggle and he's the first one to quietly march toward it and pull it open before Severide's key even has a chance to turn all the way.

"Where the hell have you been?" Casey demands outright; his brain cursing his tongue and prompting him to step back and at least let his friend enter the premises.

"I was out."

"Aurora wanted her father…and her mother. Please tell me you haven't done this before?"

"Left her alone? No. No I swear this was the first," Severide replies with a heavy sigh as he turns to see Casey glaring at him. "I just couldn't deal with…"

"Shay's passing?" Casey interjects as Severide's face winces. "So you just took advantage of the fact that I was here and thought oh what the hell, I'll leave my child with her Uncle and go and get hammered!"

"At least I didn't drive!" Severide growls back before he rubs his face and lets out an angry curse. "Every night she's been asking for her mother and I…" his voice trails off as he turns and heads into the darkened living room. "I've tried to tell her but…but maybe I'm not ready to come to terms with it yet."

"Kelly…"

"Yeah I know I have to," he replies softly as he slumps down into a nearby chair. "Is she okay?"

"She's asleep. I know this is tough but she can't wake up again and you not be here. You can't do that again."

Severide looks up in remorse before he shakes his head and then looks away, Casey watching him carefully. A few seconds later, Severide pushes himself up and slowly walks toward the large window, staring out the clear pane into the inky cityscape below. "Shay was always the one to be there for her…late nights…early mornings…sick…achy…up all night with first tooth coming in…she'd just shoo me away and tell me I could step in to parent during the teenage years. And now…now she's gone I just feel like…like I can't do this…I don't know what she did… I don't know how," he turns back to Casey with a pleading expression. "How many times do I have to tell her mommy's gone and is not coming back!"

But just before Casey can say another word, both of them hear soft shuffling and look up to see Aurora standing there watching them in miserable silence.

"Want mommy," she whimpers as Severide's heart breaks.

"Hey baby girl," he hurries to her, scooping her up into her arms as she starts to fuss. "Daddy's here okay?"

"Want mommy."

"I know. I know you are used to having mommy here to sing to you at night and sit with you and…do whatever stuff mommy's do but um…but mommy's gone okay?"

"Where?"

Severide hugs his daughter close, his eyes wanting to water and his brain scolding him for having the strong smell of alcohol on his breath. "It's okay now. Let's go sing the alphabet song so that we can all get back to sleep. Think Uncle Matt needs his sleep?" Severide asks as Casey purposely offers a very big yawn.

The little girl looks at Casey with a sad stare before looking at her father and nodding. Her arms then quickly wrap around his neck and hold him close, his lips nuzzling her soft cheek. Casey watches them go and knows his friend needs to come to terms with his current emotional pain or else Aurora would bear the brunt and for a four year old that wasn't fair. Nor would it be understood. For four years she had had her mother with her every single day, Shay always telling them that Aurora was her greatest accomplishment and she'd spend every second with her when she could. Now that loving source was gone and the little girl was at a loss to understand why. Really understand why. He can't blame Severide for his frustration and wanting to escape but at the same time knows he himself is not the father and Aurora needs her father right now; she needs Kelly Severide to be an active and present parent. More than ever.

Casey watches Severide return and then ease himself back down into the chair facing him. "What you both need is a break from here."

"Yeah…I know," Severide huffs as he leans forward and rubs his face.

"Take a week for just the two of you and just…bond. Make her understand when it's just the two of you that mommy is gone and…and she's not coming back," Casey suggests as his voice breaks. "I think it'd be good for the two of you."

Severide looks at Casey with a somewhat blank stare before he finally nods in agreement. "Yeah…maybe we should do that. Matt…look I'm not trying to escape from Aurora or…I love her. She's my life but um…but maybe it's this place I really do want to escape from. Maybe a little get away is what we both need."

"I think so. Your dad has that cabin right? Think he'd mind?"

"No. But I have this feeling that he'll want to come."

"And that's bad?" Casey retorts as Severide's face gently screws. "It's your call. I'm just saying that you need a bit of a break from here."

"We do."

Severide's mind ponders the suggestion as the two of them sit a bit longer, Casey wanting to scold his friend but after hearing the utter pain and torment in his tone just cannot. Instead he suggests that they both try to get some sleep and then regroup in the morning.

XXXXXXXX

Casey awakens the next morning with a slight headache but his ears instantly picking up the sound of soft laughter coming from the living room and smiles in spite of the tension last night. He swallows back a yawn and then slowly shuffles into the hallway approaching the living room. The sight of Severide on the floor playing with his daughter warms his heart and he hopes that their time away together will be filled with more bonding moments just like this.

"Uncle Matt!" Aurora exclaims happily as she rushes over to him with a doll in her hands. "You be Snow White."

"Okay," Casey replies as he looks down at Severide who looks up, shrugs and grins. "Where do you want me?"

"Right here," she points to the spot on the floor right beside her.

"Okay…but give poor Snow White a bit of time to get down. Her knees are sore."

"Why?" Aurora looks up just as Severide shakes his head and Casey's lips purse. The three of them play on the floor a while until it's time for them to head into the kitchen to make breakfast. After breakfast, Severide tells his daughter that they'll be going on a little trip together.

"Is Uncle Matt coming too?"

"No sweetheart, I have to stay here. Just you and daddy are going to go."

"Okay," she shrugs, her antics making them both laugh.

Casey works to tidy up the spare bedroom, telling Severide he'd do the bedding and then clean up and lock up if he wanted to get him and his daughter ready and then hit the road.

"Just make sure you call when you get there and uh…check in every few days okay?"

"I'm not going to leave her again okay? I think this will help."

"I hope it does. See you soon."

The two men offer each other a friendly hug before Casey picks up Aurora, holding her close and kissing her soft cheek while he walks with them toward the elevator.

"Bye bye Uncle Matt!" Aurora waves as Casey waves to them both, Severide putting her into her car seat in the back of his car before closing the door.

"Later," he calls out to Casey before he too slips into the belly of the waiting automobile and then slowly pulls away from the curb. Casey watches the car until it disappears from view before he heads back inside to put a few last things away, make sure the fridge is cleaned out of anything that might spoil and lock up.

He looks at the picture on the mantle of his friend, Shay and Aurora and feels his heart sink.

'We don't have to worry about that Shay. Matt will build us what we need. Right Matt?'

'Always.'

He had tossed out that expression somewhat flippantly. But it wasn't until he and Severide watched the contract video that felt a pang of guilt for using that word, even in the past. Severide had assured him that he didn't have to walk on eggshells around him when it came to using certain words or phrases in a normal every day setting.

Casey takes one last look at the empty loft space, locks up and heads for his truck, both his mind and heart hoping that his friend will use the time to bond with his daughter, help her understand that her mother isn't coming back and then come up with a future plan to deal with their grief and cope – together. That was the plan. It was a good plan. Would it work?

XXXXXXXX

Severide slows his car as he nears the front of the cabin, wondering if his father would surprise him and just show up but then happy that his was the only car there. He looks into the backseat to see Aurora peacefully sleeping and can't help but smile at her beautiful face. He reminds himself that it's okay to have happy thoughts about Shay and their little girl was the perfect reminder of one of the best friends he ever loved and then lost.

He carefully closes the door and then heads for the trunk, taking out their bags as quietly as possible and then returning just in time for Aurora to start fussing.

"Hey baby girl. We're here."

"Where…daddy?" She asks with a somewhat sleepy tone as she looks around and then up at him with expectant wide blue eyes.

"We're at grandpa Benny's cabin. We're stay here for a few days okay? Just you and me."

"And mommy?"

Severide's lips purse as he shakes his head and frowns. "No sweetheart. Just you and me okay?"

Aurora puts on a pout, the same pout he had playfully accused Casey of teaching her. His fingers gently tug on her bottom lip, making her squeal and then try to slap his hands away. "No daddy! Noooo!" She starts to bellow as he carries her inside.

"Okay so let's…" he pauses as she looks up at him in wonder. For a second his breath catches as he remembers seeing a picture of Shay when she was Aurora's age and his lips can't help but offer a nervous snicker before he bends down to his daughter. "Let's put on your runners and jacket and go for a walk down to the lake okay?"

"Okay."

He dresses her for the outside elements and then looks down as she looks up once more, this time with a frown. He can almost hear Shay's scolding voice in his head that he's dressed her for winter and it was only fall. A light jacket would do. "Okay so let's try this again," he tells himself as he takes off the jacket, takes off the sweater, leaves only her little tee shirt on and then puts the jacket back on. "Better."

He takes her by the hand and leads her outside, locking the door to keep any unwanted predators at bay. As they walk down the path, she aimlessly prattles away about things he doesn't even get, dolls and Barbie and Dora and a whole host of other kid things she saw on the Disney or Nickelodeon channel. Severide tries to keep her mind occupied on everything around them in the hopes that she won't keep asking for mommy but he knows the longer he puts off trying to explain to her what death is the harder it'll be for them both when a tough situation actually presents itself.

Casey's better with this stuff…his mind ponders as he remembers Andy's boys asking about their father. Of course it was easier for them because Heather had told them so when they mentioned they wished their father could be there for them, talking about death and the reason why he wasn't coming back was easier – they could be reasoned with. Aurora's four…she watches happy cartoons where everyone lives. Even Wyle E. Coyote!

"Look daddy! Look!" Aurora happily exclaims she spies a large squirrel on the path.

Severide can only smile as he looks at then tells her it's a squirrel.

"Skirl?" Aurora tries to repeat as Severide grins and nods.

"Close. SK…WIRL."

"SK….irl…" she tries and then looks up in wonder.

"Great job," he praises as she offers him a beaming smile. They continue on down to the lake and Severide kneels down and sends it to Casey.

'Hey Uncle Matt. Having fun down by the lake. Kelly'

"Wanna walk out to the dock?" Severide asks as he scoops Aurora up in his arms.

"Okay," she agrees willingly as she points to the placid water. The reach the edge of the lake and slowly head toward the small dock, Severide telling his daughter all about the things he and grandpa Benny did when he was her age and then a few summers after that.

"Look Aurora. See that boat over there? Maybe in a few days we'll take it out and paddle around the lake, would you like that?"

"Where's mommy?" Aurora asks as she looks at her father in wonder.

His lips exhale heavily as he stops a few meters away from the deck as his brain searches for the right words that would help his four year old understand why her mother wasn't coming back. But just before he can try to sputter out an apology, he spies a dead rabbit and heads toward it. He knows it'll make her sad but in reality he knows he's not the best at explaining things.

They near the dead rabbit's body and he places her on the ground and kneels down beside her. "Aurora um…see that dead rabbit."

She looks at it and then at Severide with a sad expression. "Yes daddy," she tries to protest as his frown grows.

"Mommy is dead," Severide states somewhat bluntly; his heart instantly breaking as her round blue eyes threaten to spill with tears. Way to go, his brain groans. "I'm sorry baby girl. I'm bad at this. Mommy's um…she's dead. She's gone sweetheart."

"No daddy," Aurora shakes her head, her dirty blond curls tumbling in a few directions. "I want…mommy."

"I do to," Severide cries with her as he holds her close. "But she's gone," he whispers as he turns her to face him. "I want her back so badly but she's not coming back. It's just us now. I love you so much sweetheart," he tells her as he holds her close. "But she's dead. I'm so sorry. It's just us."

"Want…mommy," she cries as he picks her up and starts to carry her back toward the front of the lake. "Mommy."

"It's okay sweetheart, you cry all you want."

He remembers Boden and Christie telling him, his father agreeing that if Aurora needed to cry for her mother to let her. 'Always comfort and reassure with love. Tell her you're not going anywhere but don't scold her for crying.'

"I love you Aurora. I love you so much," Severide whispers as he kisses her tear stained cheek. He sits down on a nearby bench with her on his lap and looks out onto the water. "I love you baby girl."

And without caring who if anyone is watching, the two of them finally both break down together and cry.

XXXXXXXX

Casey looks at the picture and smiles. But at the same time he notices the strained expression on Severide's face and knows that the next week won't be easy. As much as he had wanted to offer to come, or just pack a bag and head on out there, he knows this bonding time is needed for Severide and his daughter and for him to help her come to terms with her mother's passing and the fact she's not coming back.

"Is that from Kelly?"

"First lake selfie," Casey holds up his phone for Boden to see, the seasoned fire Chief smiling before his expression turns serious. "What?"

"I hope he uses this time to really bond with that little girl and come to terms with Shay's passing," Boden states as Casey nods in agreement.

"I hope so too," Casey agrees as he leans back in his chair and looks up with a frown. "I'm worried."

"Do you think Aurora's in any kind of danger?" Boden dares to ask.

"No. But part of me thinks that Kelly will just hold it all in and not deal with his own pain. I hope I'm wrong," Casey leans forward and rubs his face.

"Check in on him in a few days. You'll get a better idea then. And if you're still feeling off, go and see them for a few hours. Just a friendly drop in with supper."

"Good idea," Casey nods just as the overhead paging system goes off. He tries to push Severide's worried expression out if his mind but can't. Finally he settles in his mind that he'll take Boden's advice and check in on Severide in a few days – mostly to appease his own paranoid mind.

Take care my friend…

XXXXXXXX

Severide didn't know how long he had sat on the bench with his daughter in his arms but he finally decides to move when he feels a slight chill nipping at the exposed parts of his skin. They had talked about mommy, cried, laughed, cried, yelled, cried and cried some more. He wasn't sure if Aurora fully understood but he kept reminding her that just like that sad dead rabbit, her mother was dead and not coming back. It was just the two of them but along with very close friends they would be okay.

"Let's go back to the cabin and make some supper okay?" Severide asks as he hoists his daughter into the air and slowly heads back toward their home for the next week. Once inside he settles her at the table and pulls out her coloring books and crayons; Aurora happy to busy herself in her Disney Princesses coloring book.

He starts to season the meat and then looks around for the remote, wanting to do anything to fill the void in the smallish space. His mind starts to drift back to the last time the three of them had come up to the cabin and his heart rate starts to speed up.

'Shay toss that over here!'

'Again gammpa again! again!'

He hears Aurora calling out to his father, his mind next sees Benny Severide scooping the squealing little girl up in his grasp as she holds up her arms for Shay to toss it to them. She does and he next sees himself reaching up to catch the ball and then place it in her grasp and her lips squealing with delight.

"Shay," Severide whispers in sorrow. His mind, however, has no time to lapse back into emotional melancholy as he smells something burning on the stove and quickly turns back to tend to it. It's a modest supper that he offers to him and his daughter. After supper he settles them on the couch to watch some cartoons until she falls asleep. Since they weren't in their own comfortable home, he arranges her in his bed with him and prays that she'll sleep through the entire night.

She wouldn't and he'd be up again, trying to console her and then just letting her cry herself to sleep. It was going to be a very long week.

XXXXXXXX

A few days pass and Casey's inner agitation can't seem to leave. Severide had only sent one picture and then only a simple text telling him things were 'okay'. But that tone just didn't sit well with him and by the end of the week, Casey's mind is begging him to head for the cabin right after work.

"Chief, I'm still worried."

"It's getting late. Why not go first thing in the morning on your day off," Boden suggests as Casey reaches for his jacket.

"Okay," Casey agrees as he heads for the locker room. He gathers up his things, gives the guys a quick update and then heads out to his truck and then home.

But as he gets in his truck and turns the ignition he pulls his phone and stares at it in concern. "Ah to hell with it," he growls as he dials Severide's cell number. I'll just use what Capp did today as an excuse to call.

No answer.

He tries again.

No answer.

"Really? Kelly…come on I know you wouldn't have just gone away to the bar and left here there alone!" Casey growls as he tries once more.

No answer.

He grits his teeth and then goes to shove his phone into his pocket but pauses; the weather bulletin on the radio telling him about a severe rain and thunder storm coming their way and that it was best for everyone outside to seek shelter indoors and making him try once more. Maybe I can mention the weather.

"Come on Kelly….pick up," he hisses as he tries once more.

The phone finally connects and Casey's lips sigh heavily. "Kelly, how ar…"

"DADDY! GET UP!"

It's not the voice he expected to hear. It was shrill. It was scared…it was his beloved goddaughter.

"Aurora? Sweetheart, what's going on? Where's daddy? Where's Kelly?"

"DADDY! DADDY! AHHHHHHH!"

Get up? Kelly's injured! Her scream and Severide's concerning silence forces his heart to explode and his foot slam on the breaks. He doesn't think about going home to get a bag of clothes to take with him; all he can hear is the wind howling and his god daughter screaming.

"Something's wrong!" He exclaims in a panic as he runs through a red light and races for the highway; the storm ahead daring him to come closer and face it's wrath.

And he would.

They all would.

A/N: Yikes! What's happened to Severide? Where are they? Will Casey get there in time? But backing up a bit how did you like their showdown at the start? And then of course there's the bittersweet flashbacks. Please do review before you go to let me know your thoughts on this update and thanks so much!