For months that slid into a couple of years, José stayed on the surface and farmed. Life on Speakeasy – Sandra's flippant name for the little world had stuck – was not easy, but he was able to clear his head.
On a regular basis, every month or so, a shuttle would arrive. Harvested fruits, vegetables and grains would be traded for processed foods, clothing, tools, blankets, new tents or anything else he and Verinold needed. The transfer could have been performed using the transporter, but that was deemed too impersonal. This gave the men some personal contact and was something pleasant to look forward to.
Travis would switch up, sometimes sending Bruce Chalfont or Colleen Romanov Novakovich or Sophie Creighton Hodgkins or Preston Jennings instead. The visits were little holidays for the surface dwellers, who would entertain their guests as well as they could.
José always brought his PADD into the shuttle, and synchronized its data with the vehicle's own onboard computing system. This helped to charge the PADD, but it also enabled him to pick up and drop off messages. Most of those messages were sent to Lili, who could always tell when the shuttle was on the surface as, inevitably, her inbox would be flooded.
José was pleasantly shocked when, after about a year of one-sided conversation, she began to answer him.
=/\=
On board the Enterprise, Lili received not love letters, but practical missives, full of crop reports and the results of canine training and breeding programs. After enough tales of olowa yields, she sent back a response, telling José that her mother's father had been a farmer, but of petite artisanal and designer produce. José asked questions in his return note, and a far more balanced correspondence began.
She recounted the dogs' antics and relayed ship gossip. In return, he began writing about what the procul were really like – dumber than a bag of hammers – and even, at times, the odd couple type of existence he lived with Verinold.
When he mentioned that the cherries were so good that he was afraid he would eat them all and save none for the NX-01, she baked him a cherry pie and had Cassandra Brown bring it to Speakeasy. In gratitude, José sent her a funny photograph of him and Verinold trying to herd uncooperative procul.
In late 2042, she began to realize that she missed him.
=/\=
In early 2043, Sandra decided that she had been on board long enough. She approached Hoshi. "I know you got along just fine without me at Communications. Maryam and Chip are doing great jobs. So I was thinking; I'd like to head back to Speakeasy and go back to work."
"What about your daughter?"
"Penny can stay with me until it's time to start school, I guess. That won't be for another two years or so. I guess I'll allow Tristan to come along, too," she grinned a little wickedly. "But maybe I'll go with the shot this time. I'm not so sure I want Penny to have a baby brother or sister quite so soon."
"Well, I think there's a trip scheduled today. Can you leave today? Maybe something can be worked out," Hoshi suggested.
They presented their proposal to the captain. "How does Tristan feel about all of this?" he asked.
"He'll be all right with it," Sandra assured him.
"Are you sure?" inquired the captain.
"I'll make sure, sir," she confirmed, "Look, I know how I get. The records from the last throwback are proof of that. I need to do this. That shuttle is heading back to Speakeasy today. I want to be on it."
"And if Tristan objects?" asked Jonathan.
"Then I'll go without him."
=/\=
Fortunately for their daughter's sake, Tristan was as compliant as Sandra had guaranteed. "We're going on a great, big adventure," he told their daughter as he and Sandra packed for the surface.
"And you're going to run around and play and have fun. But you're also going to learn how to take care of animals and plants, Penny," Sandra explained. The little one didn't really understand yet, but put a few of her toys into a cargo box they were packing. She seemed to understand that they were going somewhere.
At the shuttle bay, Travis suddenly remembered, "Holy cow, I bet nobody told José!" He clicked his communicator open. "Mayweather to Torres."
"Yeah?"
"How do you feel about coming back to the Enterprise?"
"What?"
"Sandra and Tris and Penny are coming down. So you can come back today, if you like," Travis explained.
"Huh, uh, sure," he muttered, "Torres out."
He packed up his stuff, such as it was. He hadn't brought too much with him. There was only the one duffle – clothes which were mainly socks and briefs, plus some toiletries "I guess I'll see you soon," he told Verinold, "You've been a good roommate."
"As have you. In a way, it is still a punishment for me to stay here, but I have to say, in many ways, it is not. The planet is agreeable when friends are nearby, and the work is hard but satisfying. Thank you for being here, friend."
At the last minute, as he saw the shuttle touching down, José tapped out a fast message to Lili. I'm coming back today was all that it said.
=/\=
In the galley, Lili got the message as soon as the shuttle took off, as the PADD's data was synchronized. "I, uh, I gotta go," she told Craig and Brian. They were not too busy as it was between meals. They had mainly been sitting around planning meals for the following few weeks.
Lili thought to go to her quarters but realized there wasn't enough time. Instead, she ran to the shuttle bay.
=/\=
Her haste was rewarded; she got there just as the shuttle was pulling in. She willed herself to calm down and catch her breath and she stood in the protected area of the shuttle bay. She still had a rag in her hands. Nervous, she kept turning it over and over. Felicity Reese Forbes was with her, guiding the shuttle in.
The shuttle arrived and Colleen Romanov Novakovich opened the hatch. Duffle bag in hand, José stepped out.
Lili came forward. "You got thinner."
"It all went to my beard," he replied. He had an impressive beard that he had likely been growing for over a year.
Once the shuttle bay was secured, Felicity and Colleen looked at each other. "I think we're fifth wheels," Colleen stated. They departed.
"I can't believe you came to see me," José asked, "Uh, how are the dogs?"
"Good."
"You did come to see me, right?" he asked.
Lili nodded. "I wanted to be sure you were, you know, okay."
"Lili, I, uh, I'm really bad at this," he began.
"At what?"
"At, at saying how I feel. But I, you know, I, see, I love you. And, and, I, well, I want to get married. To, uh, to you."
She stood there for several minutes in order to get her bearings. "Will you, Lili?" he ventured again. "Will you, you know, marry me?"
She stared some more and finally answered, "Okay." Her voice was as flat and emotionless as T'Pol's.
"Really? Really? I'll, can it be today? I, uh, I'll shower and stuff, and, and, I'll shave off the beard."
"You can, uh, keep the beard."
"Oh, uh, okay," he was flustered, as if he had not expected an affirmative response. "I, I know you don't love me back. But I will, I will do everything to, to treat you as well as, as possible. I know you've had a lot of, of bad things happen. I'm gonna try to, to make sure nothing else bad happens. And, and Lili?"
"Hmm?"
"I want to, I, I hope you will, you'll, you'll teach me to be like, like them." She was silent at that, staring straight ahead. "I'll, I'll go get cleaned up now, okay? And I can meet you in, uh, I guess we'll go to the Bridge. In, uh, in a half an hour?" Excited, he kissed her cheek and dashed off.
Lili stood there for a few moments and then clicked open her communicator. "Jenny?"
"Crossman MacKenzie here."
"Are you free this afternoon?" Lili asked.
"No, I'm on shift."
"Oh. Then you'll, uh, I guess you'll miss it."
"Miss what?"
"My wedding."
"What?" Jenny exclaimed.
"In a half an hour, on the Bridge. José and me."
"Uh, okay," Jenny answered, "I can get Judy to fill in for me, I guess." She stopped for a second. "Something's not right. Lili, why are you doing this?"
"I am getting married," Lili repeated slowly, trying to convince herself of the rightness of the act.
"I don't hear happiness," Jenny told her friend, "I don't hear anything about you being in love."
"There's no one else."
"There will be," Jenny assured her, "I can tell. There are lots of people here with Buyer's Remorse. They may have gotten back with whoever they had before – and maybe it worked out that time. But we're all just a little bit different this time around, so for some people it isn't working out now. Someone's bound to get divorced."
"I, I shouldn't wait."
"You've waited quite a bit already."
"Am I supposed to be a home wrecker? Or hope the decline isn't really cured, and wait on an Ikaaran dying, so I can have Craig or Ethan, or even the captain?"
"'Course not," Jennifer stated, "it's just, c'mon, Lili. I don't think you've thought this through."
"I am fine," Lili was trying to convince not only Jennifer but also herself. "Just, be there, okay?"
"Of, of course, Roomie."
"We haven't been roommates for years, Jenn."
"It doesn't matter. I'll be there, I swear."
=/\=
José got to the Bridge first, a little anxious. "Somethin' I can help you with, Torres?" asked Commander Tucker. "And, uh, welcome back."
"Thanks. Uh, I'm good, Boss." José glanced around. Lili was right that he had dropped some weight while on the surface. His full dress uni was baggy on him. What remained of his hair was combed neatly. His beard was trimmed and even, although some bits of it were coming in grey. He stood and waited.
"Ensign," T'Pol ventured, "is there some purpose to your presence on the Bridge?" Maryam Haroun was running Communications, and she looked up, too.
"Uh, hang on," he swallowed, trying not to panic.
The turbolift arrived at the Bridge, and the door swished open. It was Lili, in a clean set of chef's whites. Her sole concession to the occasion was a dark blue ribbon in her hair. She nodded at him. They stood together for a moment and did not speak, but also did not move toward doing anything whatsoever.
The lift arrived a few minutes later and Jenny came in. "I'm ready now," Lili announced.
"Okay," José replied, "Captain, can we, uh, can we get married?"
Jonathan blinked several times. "Uh, sure, when?"
"Now?" José asked, "Please?"
Lili stared straight ahead, passive. The captain peered at her. "Lieutenant Commander O'Day, come with me."
José made as if to follow but the captain held up a hand. "Just a few minutes, all right?"
"Uh, sure, Captain. I'll just, um, wait out here."
=/\=
The Ready Room door closed behind them. Daisy looked up briefly from a bit of replicated rawhide she'd been chewing on, and then went back to it.
"You wanted to see me?" Lili asked.
"Yes. I want to know just what the hell is going on."
"Excuse me?"
"You and Torres."
"You heard him, sir. He asked for you to marry us."
"Lili," Jonathan asked, "are you doing this voluntarily?"
"Why does everybody keep asking me that?"
"What?"
"Jennifer asked almost the same thing."
"That was very perceptive of her," observed the captain, "so, are you?"
"Of course I am."
"That's the first affirmative thing you've said about this marriage and this wedding so far."
"Am I supposed to jump up and down?"
"No," he replied, teeth clenched a bit, "but really," he sighed, "from where I'm standing, it doesn't look like this is any fun for you." He looked at her. "I know you feel that way, too. You do not love José."
"Is that some litmus test I'm supposed to pass? Did you ask Meredith and Rex, or Oscar and Tracey or, or Jenny and Aidan if they were in love?"
"I didn't," he admitted.
"Then why am I being singled out and asked?"
"Because," Captain Archer sighed, "with them, it was obvious. I, I can't condone this."
"Captain," Lili stated, "back in September of 2037, the day Malcolm and Jay died? You remember that day?'
"You know I do. I was torn up by guilt over it. It still haunts me at times."
"Well, that morning, that morning, Malcolm said he thought it was happening for him. And I knew it was for me, too. And when I kissed Jay good-bye, I felt it then, too. And then they were suddenly gone and the bottom dropped out of my life. You're absolutely right; I don't feel it with José at all. But everything I love is taken away from me. This way, he'll live forever, right?"
He looked at her and shook his head. "I have got to keep morale together. If my third engineer is miserable, that's not going to be good, yanno."
"And your chef has been miserable for a long time, too. Maybe your chef and your third engineer won't be turning cartwheels. Maybe they'll just be a little less miserable."
"Okay," he was only half-convinced. "I just hope I won't be presiding over your divorce in a year."
"Thanks, Captain."
=/\=
The captain opened the Ready Room door. "We're all set. Uh, where do you want to do it? The Ready Room might get a bit crowded."
"There's not much goin' on right now," stated Tripp, "what about if you just do the ceremony right here on the Bridge?"
"Wouldn't we be in the way?" Lili asked.
"Not really," assured the captain as the Vulcan eyebrow was raised, "Here, uh, stand by the Tactical station."
Lili stared for a second. That had been Malcolm's spot. "Uh, maybe Engineering would be better."
José nodded and took her hand, which she did not withdraw. Everyone watched except for Travis, who was piloting.
"Today," Jonathan announced, "we join two lives. Lili and José have known each other for a long time." He paused for a moment, trying to think of something to say. "You know, I usually say something right about now, or quote a Bible passage or whatever, but for the life of me, I can't think of anything."
"Can, uh, can I speak?" José asked.
"Of course."
He turned to face Lili. "I, I know you don't, you don't love me. But I know that I love you. And, and I can't be them. That's something I just can't do. But teach me, okay? Teach me to be as close to being them as possible, and I'll do it."
"Lili, do you have anything to say?" Captain Archer inquired as Jennifer and the entire Bridge crew looked on, expectant.
"I, I promise," Lili's voice was low, "To do my best to be, to be fair to you. I know you're competing with a couple of ghosts. I can't change what's happened, or how I feel about all of it. All I can do is try to change how I treat you, and talk to you, and spend time with you. So I promise that I will try hard to be fair."
Looking directly at Jennifer, the captain asked, "Does anyone object to this union?" Jennifer pretended to be overly interested in the edge of the Tactical Station. "All right," announced Jonathan, "by my authority, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
They accepted the Bridge crew's congratulations. Lili flipped open her communicator. "Uh, Brian?"
"Yeah?"
"I won't be making dinner tonight. Sorry for such short notice."
"That's okay. What's up? Are you feeling okay?"
"I, uh, I got married."
"Married? What?"
"José and me, uh, we didn't want it to be too big."
"Holy cow," he was in shock, "you'll be in your quarters, then?"
"I guess so," she replied.
"We'll swing by at, um, twenty hundred hours, okay? Bring you some supper and stuff."
"Thanks, Brian. Are you mad at me for not telling you?"
"No, of course not," he told her, "it's just kinda unexpected."
"Here, too," Lili admitted.
"Well, congratulations to you, José's a lucky guy."
"Thanks."
"Delacroix out."
"I, uh, I guess we'll go to my quarters. You should, uh, you should bring over your stuff," Lili suggested as they left the Bridge.
"I just have the one duffle. I didn't even unpack it."
"Okay."
They collected his duffle bag and got to her quarters, on C deck. "I'll, um," he decided, "I'll just put my clothes into the laundering unit. You, uh, you got anything to add?"
"Sure." She added some of her lingerie to the load. He started up the unit and it hummed a little bit in the background.
"Seems to be working okay," he told her, "but tell me if you ever have any trouble with it." She nodded and took off her chef's jacket and sat on her bed. "Lili?" he asked.
"Hmm?"
"Are you, uh, are you a virgin?"
She chuckled a little bit at the inquiry. "José, I'm in my fifties."
"So you were, uh, you were married before?"
"No, I've never been married."
"You and, uh, and Lieutenant Reed, then?"
"Yes."
"And, uh, and Major Hayes?"
"No," Lili shook her head a little sadly, "Jay and I never got that far."
"So was, uh, was Malcolm your, uh, your first?"
"No."
"Oh."
"I lost my virginity when I was eighteen years old, to my High School boyfriend, Paul Mayer. He was the first of the thirteen guys I've slept with. Malcolm Reed was lucky number thirteen. Do you want to hear about number two? It was when I was working at the Tethys Tavern."
"No, uh, that's okay."
"And what about you, José? Or am I the only one whose sexual history is subject to the third degree?"
"I, uh," he sighed.
"Does it bother you that I'm not a virgin? 'Cause if it was going to, you should have asked before, yanno."
"Uh, yeah, I guess I coulda asked."
"So what's your history?"
"I, uh, I don't have a history," he admitted.
"What?" she asked.
"No history."
She sighed a little. "I didn't, uh, I didn't expect I'd be, well, I'd be teaching a class, I guess."
"Sorry."
"It's, uh," she looked at him, "it's okay. So you waited until marriage?"
"Well, yeah."
"Have you had girlfriends?"
"A few."
"Okay, here," she stated, "I take it you know the facts of life."
"'Course I do. I even watched one of Chip's pornos once."
"You do realize those have nearly no basis in reality, right?"
"Oh, whew, good."
"Here's what we'll do," she decided, "We will undress each other."
"Huh?"
"It can be very sensual. Now, just relax." She removed his shoes and socks and put them over to the side. She then unzipped his dress uniform jumpsuit and removed it. She took off a white thermal undershirt he was wearing, leaving him in only a tee and briefs. She kissed him. "I see you're interested," she looked downwards.
"Yeah." He followed suit, removing her socks and shoes. Her chef's whites were different – it was pants with a belt. He struggled with them a little bit. She was just wearing a tee shirt, bra and panties. "Now what?"
"You might wanna take off my tee shirt."
"Oh, uh, yeah." He lifted it over her head. "I like your, uh, your body." He fumbled with the catch on her bra until it came undone. He stared at her bare breasts for a second. "Can I?"
"Sure. But first, this." She got him out of his tee so that they were both bare-chested. He had lost quite a bit of weight while on the surface, but he had also worked hard, and had good muscle definition. "You got into really good shape."
"I guess so." Carefully, he put a hand on her breast. "You're really soft."
"Kiss me, okay?"
He nodded and leaned forward to kiss her. "Can I, can I kiss them?"
"You don't have to ask."
"I just wanna be sure." He kissed her cleavage and then one side, and then the other. "You, you smell really nice."
"We made peach sorbet today. I reek of peaches," Lili reported.
"It's good."
She hooked her fingers into the sides of his briefs and lifted them over his rather large arousal and then off entirely. He was a bit dumbstruck by that. She took his hands and guided them down to do the same for her.
"Do we, uh, now?" he asked, coming closer.
"I'm, I'm not ready yet," Lili explained, "You need to help me."
"Tell me, uh, what to do."
"Put your mouth right there." She pointed.
"Really?"
"Yeah, really. When you said you weren't experienced, José, you weren't kidding."
"Definitely not kidding. And you'll like it if I do that?"
"Yes."
He leaned forward in order to reach her. She did her best to guide his movements. But it took quite a while. Whenever Lili thought she was getting close, the thread of stimulus would somehow become interrupted. "I, uh, is this good? My jaw hurts a bit."
"It's, it's fine," she willed herself not to sigh in frustration.
"How do I, uh?"
She took hold of him and guided him. She kissed him. He pushed back until he was on top of her. His movements were unsure. He braced himself over her. "It's okay," she told him, "I can support your weight."
"Oh, good. And I just, I move?"
"Back and forth, yep."
"You'll tell me if I'm doing it wrong, okay?" Concentrating, he began to move. It was all over in a few minutes. Once his climax had dissipated, he searched her face for clues as to whether his performance had been acceptable. "Was, uh, was that okay?"
"It was fine." She got up and walked into the little bathroom and shut the door. "So this is how it's gonna be?" she whispered to her own reflection, "I take care of myself, is it?" She was about ready to do just that when there was a knock on the bathroom door. "Yes?"
"Lili, are you mad at me?"
"No, it's fine."
"No, it's, it's not fine. I'm not, I'm not just some insensitive brute who doesn't give a damn if you climax. I'm guessing you didn't. And I'm, I'm sorry. I'm learning how to do this. I guess it'll be a while before I'm any good at it."
"I can take care of myself."
"I'm sure you can," José told her, "But I, I want to be a, a part of it." She opened the door. "At least you didn't lie to me about it. You didn't just fake it and feed me a buncha lines and pretend and cover it all up. So, um, thanks."
"I don't even know if I can respond to anyone anymore," Lili admitted.
"It's, well, it's only the first time. Maybe we can try again tomorrow, okay?"
She was about to answer him when the door chimed. "Just a second!" she called out. She grabbed a short terry robe and he got a pair of briefs and a pair of denim shorts from the laundering unit. Once they were decent, she answered the door. It was Craig.
He had the cart with him. On it was a bouquet of flowers from Shelby, tied with a pretty green ribbon. There were also various covered dishes. "I hope you don't mind," Craig said, "but there was procul chili tonight. Brian and I figured you'd like something nicer, so we made you a batch of procul empanadas."
"Oh, thank you," José smiled a little.
"We also remembered that you liked cherry pie, so we made you one," Craig continued, "plus we've got salads and a side of grilled asparagus. And there are dishes of the peach sorbet with the chill packs. We used the aerator and some orange juice so – voila! – orange soda!"
"Oh, you guys are the best!" Lili gushed. She hugged him.
"We didn't know if you'd be working tomorrow morning, or if you'd be late or anything. We thought about making you some toast or something, but then Brian said it would get cold. So if you need anything in the morning, you just call, okay?"
"Okay," Lili replied, "and, uh, I dunno about the morning just yet."
"No rush," Craig assured them. "G'night, José. G'night Mrs. Torres."
"Oh my gosh! You're the first person to call me that." She hugged him again and he left.
José looked at her. "This was really nice of them. Uh, about earlier –"
"It's fine."
"I, Lili," he sighed, "I won't push it, okay? I just want you to know that, that I love you, and I will do whatever it is you want in order to, you know, make it happen for you."
"I'm just, I'm hungry and I'm kinda tired. And I am fifty-two years old. I think I just don't have the drive that I used to."
"I wanna try again tomorrow," he requested, "and, and every day if you're okay with it. I wanna do this, Lili. I, I wanna get it right."
"Okay. Tomorrow, then."
=/\=
Jonathan Archer's Personal Log, January eleventh, 2043
I've conducted the oddest wedding so far, today.
I can't say that everyone was completely, one hundred percent on board with their weddings. But they kept it together, or at least I guess they talked a good game and made it all look good. But not Lili O'Day.
I suppose I should refer to her as Lili Torres now. She seemed so unhappy. I truly wish we had a real psychologist here. I know Phlox tries, but he is busy and it is not his specialty. It is obvious, though, that my chef is truly traumatized, and it is far worse than I or anyone else had thought, even now, years later.
I hope José Torres has an inkling of what he's gotten himself into, and I hope he can do at least a little bit to heal her. He is eager and he, at least, is in love.
=/\=
Brian Delacroix's Personal Log, January eleventh, 2043
Lili had asked me if I was mad about her getting married without telling me. And I said I wasn't, but the truth is, I am kinda peeved. But I'll live. I don't know what it all means. Is she embarrassed that she married José? He is a good person. He is not cinematically handsome or anything like that. No one will ever confuse him with a movie star. But he is a good, solid guy. She can do considerably worse.
=/\=
José Torres's Personal Log, January eleventh, 2043
I have a few minutes; Lili said she wanted to go out walking alone before coming back to bed. We got married! I cannot believe it.
I know she is unhappy. I know I am not who she really wanted. Maybe she'll come around someday.
=/\=
Charlotte Lilienne O'Day Torres's Personal Log, January eleventh, 2043
I have a few minutes of privacy; I told José I needed to walk and clear my head. I'll probably do this most nights. I need the space.
We got married today. I do not feel it, not one bit. I am saddened and disturbed and it feels like all the wrong reasons. And it feels worse as I know I am really hurting a kind human being, but I can't help how I feel. I can't make myself love him, or anything like that.
All I know is; I had my pick of who was left. I at least picked the one who I know loves me. I wish I could say I reciprocated the feeling, but I just plain don't.