The Diego Diaries: Footb(r)all (566) edited
-0-CRASH!
The collision was stupendous.
The referee jumped the bench, landed between Springer and Drift, then hoofed it toward the tunnel entrance. Behind him also jumping in the air with their fists ready, half of the Praxian team followed. Their momentum for a fast score had been checked by a referee with the good sense to run. As they flew through the air, Springer and Drift turned back toward the field.
The team landed on them both.
Prime stood staring down at the sideline as the team stacked themselves on the Chief of Planetary Security aka Chief of the Wreckers aka the Former Mrs. Optimus Prime and his bond, the former Dead Something or Other. The sound of things clanging could be heard over the roar of the crowd. Prime glanced at Prowl who looked at the mess unfolding with utter aghast aghastness.
Then Prowl moved swiftly.
Springer barely brought his arms up as the mountain fell on him. Drift disappeared too. It smarted enormously.
Prowl who stared at the possibility of his team being ejected from the game moved forward with as much dignity as horror would allow for him. He rushed down the aisle, then the steps. Climbing onto the stadium wall that fronted the seating section of his area, he balanced precariously a moment. Unsubbing his gun, he quelled a BIG urge to blast everyone in front of him. Pointing it up, he fired two rounds.
For a moment, there was nothing. Then the Praxian team froze. The sound of two big cartridges coming straight down to land on the pitch, exploding with a suitable sound of blam paused the entire melee. They looked at the field, then Prowl's gun which was quivering in his servo.
The outraged message he sent them via internal comm lines helped a lot too: :STOP, YOU FRAGGERS! YOU'LL FORCE A FORFEIT!:
The cameras lovingly caught every nuance from the sudden statue-like stillness of the players to the curled lip of loathing and outrage on Prowl's handsome face. It also caught Prime and the rest. That august personage was grinning as he stood next to a smirking Slacker. Cyclonus was his usual appraising, inscrutable self. Paragon was grinning slightly. Even Soundwave was visibly attentive.
Ratchet himself was laughing, the idea of a forfeit to Kaon a real possibility. If nothing else, a few players might be sidelined for poor sportsmanship. Yes, you could get a penalty for poor sportsmanship even in a game like this. Cocked fists were obvious. A subtle punch to the codpiece in the scrum was much more socially acceptable.
-0-Sports bar in Cally near the Lennox home
"HOLY CRAP!" -man A, B, C
"Look at that robot with the gun. He looks like he could take a bite out of a steel wall." -man A
"He looks pissed. He's sorta good looking. In a robot sort of way." -man C
"Why would you notice that? Is there something you haven't told us?" -man B
"Fuck no! I love my jeep too." -man C
"Oh. MORE BEER!" -man A and B
-0-House in a nice place with nice people
"Wow. I really like this game," Pastor Bob said with a grin. He sat with his own ipad and the Cybertronian Adult Football League website open on it. "I wish we could have been there."
"You and me both," Mrs. Pastor Bob said with a nod.
Grandpa Leonard and Grandma Annie just grinned.
-0-On the sidelines
Lola and Cindy Teasdale returned to Mars for the next step of the NASA project for a permanent human habitat jumped up and down until the mob turned their way and came toward them like a homing missile. The humans on the special secured area of the stadium seating were several dozen feet above the ground beyond where most of the melee would be contained. However, the sight of that many huge mechanisms racing their way was still daunting. They stood clutching each other as the Day Watch mechs giving them security gathered in front to absorb the potential collision.
They didn't need to. Not only because Prowl had a big gun and used it but because it was down the row from where they stood. They were never in danger but they were given a close view of a fifteen car pile up that would live on in memory and ESPN highlight reels forever.
-0-On the field
The refs who were still on the field ran over and began to berate the players. Kaon's players stood to one side with big grins on their faces. The Praxians stepped back and the crowd cleared. Laying flat on their backs, Springer and Drift stared up at the sky. The birdies were singing loudly.
-0-Ratchet
He walked down the aisle, then down the stairs pausing beside Prowl who had climbed down from the barrier. "Good going, Prowler. You will have an aft load of fanfiction on the internet tonight after this."
Prowl looked at him with a baleful expression. Then he looked over the railing at Springer and Drift who were being hauled to their peds. "You might want to see if those two are going to make it."
"No problem," Ratchet said as he climbed up, then jumped off the wall. Cheers went up from the crowd who were watching both directly and on the jumbotron. Prowl walked back to his seat and a thoroughly bemused Prime. He turned to face the field once again, his tattered dignity gathered around him as he tried to assume the position once more.
Not that one.
Walking to the pair, Ratchet paused holding up a servo. "How many digits, son?" he asked of Springer.
"Several," Springer said as he gathered his guts together. Drift looked at Ratchet, several new scratches on his chassis.
"Nice cover. I suppose you're both going to live but you won't like it," Ratchet said reading the data from the scanner in his servo. "Go. Sit."
"I have work to do," Springer said as the jets in his noggin began to land and power down.
"Sit," Ratchet said turning both. They walked to the tunnel and sat on a bench as on the field nearby the referees were going through a thorough postmortem of the problem at servo.
Ratchet turned and climbed back up walking to his seat. Standing next to Prowl, grinning like a jack-o-lantern, he waited along with everyone for the fall out to fall. It fell.
The head referee walked the center of the field and the sound stopped nearly immediately. He looked in all directions, then lowered the boom. "Tri field penalty for excessive violence. Praxus will take the ins, the fragging slaggers. Frag them."
The balance between catcalls and joyous applause was about evenly divided which was awesome considering that most of the crowd were supporters for other clubs, some of them defeated by both teams on the field. The teams walked with GINORMOUS irritation and/or joy to the far side of the field one third of the way back from the end zone to begin the ins, thereby bringing the ins in from being out.
Like that.
Kaon who was grinning began to build their towers as their fastest wings stood around them ready to steal the ball if it presented itself. They stood crouched over, their arms loose and ready to grab. Praxus stood beside them ready to receive so they stunted around, hipping and hopping, distracting Kaon enough to throw their game off.
It worked.
The outie became an innie with the Praxus left wing grabbing the ball as it bounced between the legs of a tower. That tower turned, the back running with a back on his back. They made for the goal line, a screaming mech on his shoulders gripping his helm as he bounced along. The cameras lingered lovingly on the spectacle which would make the highlight reel of the game so all was not lost. Mostly.
"WHAT THE FRAG! PUT ME DOWN!" he yelled as he was burdened toward the goal by his frantic teammate.
Other towers fell apart as mechs turned to run like the wind, chasing the winger with the ball. The crowd lost their … stuff, cheering at a lethal level of vocal support as well as throwing a number of things at the players as they galloped past toward Bracket and his two backs. The Praxians came at them again and there was a frantic scramble by everyone to grab anything that might remotely resemble a ball(s).
-0-In the stands
Prowl stood with a outwardly calm expression, his optics fixed on his team. It was the team he had covertly recruited, a team of his dreams and everyone else's nightmares. His team that had never won a SINGLE SLAGGING GAME IN THE ENTIRE SLAGGING HISTORY OF THE GAME was undefeated here. He tried with all his spark to make sure that the team that hit this field would have the same luck as the bigger urban areas had on Cybertron with their enormous financial backing. Praxus had slide rules and brain power, not cold hard shanix. Kaon had crow bars and menace. That was always trumped by bribery, supplemental income and pleasure bots by Iacon and other big city fraggers.
Here, he would rewrite history with the first win by Praxus of anything remotely resembling a championship. He would ensure that no matter what happened ever after, this team would redeem eons of embarrassing geekiness that all Praxians had to bear.
He hoped.
He nearly had an metallic aneurism when the mech pulled out his personal meat getter to chase a bot with his fist. It wasn't that fisticuffs weren't a part of the game. It was an integral part. Even in the stands, it happened. Ratchet's impulsive punch in Paragon's gut was common.
It was also slagging awesome. He grinned slightly. The cameras got it on film.
Where was he? Oh yes. Cheating.
The team had been a project he had begun the moment Ratchet made the offhand remark about reviving their second most favorite sport, football. (Racing was their national sport. Typical given their abilities and formats.) He had perused refugee lists, culled the army rosters and made his own dream team. Now they were ready to rack up the greatest moment of all in their city-state history and some lunkhead nearly blew it.
He could plotz. But he wouldn't. He was Prowl. He would sulk in a closet later.
-0-On the field
They chased around like gerbils in a whirlwind, then the ball went up. It went up, up, up along with Bracket and two backs.
It wasn't enough.
-0-Kaon bench
They watched with particular loathing as the ball went through the hoop. The sound of the screaming of the multitudes was extraordinary. It was life threatening. All around the stadium here and other places including Earth, everyone was weighing in on their opinion of the goal.
-0-Cally
"BWAHAHAHA! THAT BUS PUT THE BALL THROUGH THE HOLE! BWAHAHAHAHAA!" -man C
"We need more beer here." -man A and B
-0-House, nice et al, op sit
He stood dancing with glee, then noticing no one else was, he sat. "Well, I'm happy," Pastor Bob said with a smug grin.
"It's not godly to gloat, son," Grandpa Leonard said with a grin.
"Sore losers," Pastor Bob said with a small smug voice.
Grandma Annie grinned.
-0-In the end zone
Bracket stood crestfallen, his helm hanging. The backs stood with him as the Praxians jumped and ran all over the field. They were hysterical with delight and happy to share it. Their bench ran out to embrace them. The refs gathered the ball and headed to the mid line to restart the game.
Lines changed as the twins took their place in the front line. The ball would be theirs and anything could happen. Bracket stood at the goal post with his backs waiting for the ball to be tossed to their center. It almost got quiet as the crowd settled to see what Kaon would do about this whole mess.
-0-In the stands
"OTHER ADA! THERE ARE MY BROTHERS! THERE ARE SUNSTREAKER AND SIDESWIPE! THEY WILL WIN THIS GAME! I KNOW THIS WILL BE TRUE!" Sunspot said with almost too much emotion.
"I hope so, baby," Ravel said as he absorbed the score for Praxus. "From your lips to Primus' audials."
"HE WILL! HE WILL HELP THEM! MY BROTHERS WILL WIN THIS GAME!" Sunspot said as he watched his brothers set themselves for the toss.
All around him bots smiled, watching the tense little Seeker as he sat in his grandada's arms, his own firmly around Ravel's neck.
Then the ball was tossed.
-0-TBC December 26, 2013
NOTE: TF Wiki has a game called mecha soccer which is Cybertronian football complete with trophies (Primus Cup League) and teams that have a soccer flavor amongst the football. I find it hilarious. I did not use the names in this beginning of the league but when it expands to twelve teams, I will use more of that to fill out the rosters. :D
I will be doing more but tonight it is -13 degrees. SIGH! It is some cold outside. Hugs and Happy Boxing Day wherever it is held. :D:D:D