Spock ate his dinner with Nyota in silence- he was happy he had convinced her to eat at all. He knew she had been very fond of Lena. They hadn't heard from Jim for hours, but Spock could see that his com was in his bedroom.

"I don't get it", Nyota broke the silence. "Why would the Zezians attack the Virosa? They never even leave their own solar system?"

"I am sure the Virosa were under a similar impression."

"WHAT happened, Spock?"

Spock stared at his fiancé, "I do not know - it is a tragedy. At the present moment, I am very concerned about Jim."

"He's going to want to go after them."

"I will not allow him too - the Princess showed good judgment in broadcasting the message to the ship to ensure I heard it. She has charged me with the responsibility of making sure he does not."

"Spock…", Nyota cried, "They loved each other… they did! I thought it was just a break-up, but… he'll die if we don't get some answers. We need to find out what happened…."

"Nyota…"

"What if it were me?"

"That is not fair."

"What happened to them isn't fair!"

Spock could not argue. He too had developed a fondness for the impulsive, brash Princess. She would have made an exceptional Starfleet officer.

"Get a hold of the Zezians - try to intercept transmissions…. I will bring the ship closer - but, Nyota, we cannot enter this war."

"I'm not asking you to go to war, baby. I just want to know what happened."

36 hours later; no one had seen the Captain. Spock turned the ship around and headed back towards the Virosa system. He did not intend to make it all the way; just to get close enough for Nyota to figure out what was going on. Though, he suspected many of the answers he was seeking rested with Jim.

Spock keyed himself into the Captain's quarters - he was the only person on the ship other than Jim who had the code. The living area was untouched - it was clear that Jim hadn't spent any time in there. The bedroom door was closed. Spock did not have the code for that. He knocked tentatively on the door.

"Unlocked", Jim said from inside.

Spock entered the tiny bedroom. Jim was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking significantly better than he had expected. He had showered and shaved, and was wearing a clean uniform. His PADD was open on his bed - he had been writing something.

"I figured you'd come in after me sooner or later".

"Jim… are you alright?"

Jim looked up at Spock - his lively blue eyes were dead. It was clear he was not.

"I don't know Spock, I … just don't know anymore."

"I thought I would inform you - I turned the ship back towards Virosa space - I do not intend to get close enough to involve us in the war, but - I think we should find out what transpired."

"The Zezians came and killed her."

"It took them over 11 months to do so."

"Spock - she wouldn't want us to go back."

Spock's eyes widened in shock. The Jim he knew would have been down in engineering commissioning the creation of warp 7. Lena's death had clearly shaken him.

"Then it is good that you have been temporarily relieved of duty - due to emotional distress."

Jim closed his eyes, "Yeah… that figures."

"Jim" Spock continued, "I do not wish to press you, but - do you know anything you are not telling me?"

"I know a lot I'm not telling you. Spock", Jim's voice cracked. "I knew this was going to happen! I knew about the Zezians - I begged her to come with me, to take her away, but she… she… I left her there to DIE!"

He was shaking now. "Jim", Spock tried to cut in.

"No I knew, she said she didn't know when it would happen, I thought, I hoped she had a few years - to prepare… If I had known it was going to be 19 FUCKING days… Jesus!"

He looked up, "I should have stayed there… made up some excuse… we could have…"

"We could have done NOTHING, Jim."

Spock sat down next to his friend and put his hand on his shoulder. Personally, he wasn't fond of physical contact, outside of his fiancé, of course, but he knew Jim to be a very physically affectionate person. He continued, "We could not have aided her. The Federation has no power here… Additionally, we would have broken our pack with the Zezians. It would have angered them and endangered the crew. Lena understood what it meant to be responsible for the lives of those around you - perhaps that is why she felt so connected to you. Had you dragged the Enterprise into her war, she would have been disappointed."

"I could have protected her…"

"Doubtful", Spock said. "The Winged Daughters were some of the most highly skilled warriors I have ever encountered. And Lena did not seem to be the kind of leader who would keep herself out of danger. I'm sorry, Jim. I know what it is to lose someone very important to you. I would not wish it on anyone."

"She changed me - you know - I feel like I'm a different person. Like something snapped. Do you know what that feels like? To have your entire worldview changed in an instant?"

"I do."

"You do?"

"Yes - though my experience did not have your tragic ending."

Jim shook his head, "I could use a happy ending right now."

"It was the first time I met Nyota."

Spock gazed at his shuttle window. His father, Sarek, had taken him with him on his annual Ambassadorial trip to Earth. Spock's mother remained home - she had not been feeling well. It was unusual for Sarek to spend so much time with his son. Though they loved each other, they did not get along well. Spock had been quite rebellious as a child - often allowing himself to be provoked into physical altercations with his classmates. Sarek was aware that this was because of his heritage - many Vulcans found Sarek's choice to marry a human to be bizarre, but most of Sarek's peers, upon meeting his wife, revised their judgments. Amanda possessed the even keel temperament Vulcans tried to emulate naturally - rarely becoming angered over anything. It was a superb attribute. Her one demand, upon their marriage, was that he give her a child. Sarek had been highly amenable - he assumed any child of Amanda's would also possess her overwhelmingly pleasant demeanor.

Spock, however, had inherited Sarek's temper.

Though Sarek himself was displeased by the remarks Spock's peers made about his wife, he understood that they, in time, like their parents, would be pleased to have Amanda as a part of their culture. This was no comfort to his son, however. Spock got into fights almost daily as a young boy - embarrassing his father, and straining their relationship to the limit. In the last year, however, that had begun to change.

Spock was exceptionally intelligent and well-rounded; more so than either Sarek or Amanda. His instructors had taken note and pushed him into the hard sciences, effectively diverting his negative energy into a more productive pathway. Spock excelled, and had recently been accepted to apply for admission to the Vulcan Science Academy to prepare for a life of advanced scientific research. It was a ten year application process, but few were even offered the chance to try. Sarek had never been more proud. His son, the son that everyone told him not to have, the son that had caused so much trouble, had been asked to participate in the most difficult program the Vulcan Society offered - Only 5% of applicants were accepted - less than 50 per class. Spock was set to prove everyone wrong.

On Amanda's bidding, Sarek expressed to his son how pleased he was, how proud. To prove it, he took Spock on this trip so that they could spend more time together before he departed for school.

Spock was pleased as well. He had finally earned back his father's approval after a long tumultuous childhood. He had also recently bonded with T' Pring, an exceptionally pretty Vulcan girl from another Ambassadorial family. She hadn't been overwhelmingly pleased with the match at first, but upon his invitation to apply to the Vulcan Science Academy, she began to revise her opinion. Graduates were highly honored within their society. Still, Spock could not shake a shadow of doubt. There was a small part of him that had recently become interested in Starfleet.

The coursework would be exceedingly easy for him, but he was vaguely tempted by the chance to explore space. Vulcans expanded as they felt they needed to, but humans, the backbone of the Federation, were explorers by nature - brash, reckless, and irrational. Joining Starfleet would hurl him into a new world - several in fact. Few Vulcans were in Starfleet, and those that were typically stayed on Earth as advisors - something that did not appeal to Spock. No - Spock had finally gotten everything he had ever wanted - acceptance into Vulcan society, a pretty mate, and his father's approval.

Sarek had eight days of meetings in Paris - Spock attended most of them, but the conference on the final day was completely confidential. With a few hours to kill Spock wandered the city, and found himself in the lush park beneath the Eiffel tower. A few human children played nearby on the grass. One of them noticed him and lit up in delight. She ran away from her friends.

"Hello", she said brightly in Vulcan; her accent was terrible.

"Hello", he answered her in the common tongue.

"You are a Vulcan!" she said excitedly.

"That is an accurate observation", why didn't she leave him alone?

"I am trying to learn Vulcan! It is my language for the year!"

"Fascinating."

"Yes...only it's very difficult… you don't have any movies, or anything… so it's really boring."

Spock sighed, he wasn't overly fond of children - even as a child he had prefered to converse with adults, but she didn't seem interested in going away, "Why would that be necessary?"

"That's the easiest way to learn!" she said. "I have learned one language a year. Each birthday I pick a new one. I picked Vulcan last year, but… it's been really really hard. Usually I listen to music or watch movies to learn, but ALL Vulcan music is instrumental."

"That is an ambitious goal."

"Yes! But my music teacher says that Opera singers can speak all the languages they sing in! I just figured I'd start now."

Spock was fairly convinced that wasn't that case, he had seen a rendition of Wagner's "Siegfried" at the Bastille Opera House the night before - Brunhilda's German had been severely lacking, but he merely said, "Oh."

She was not to be deterred however, "Yes, I have learned French, Italian, and German, so far!"

"Impressive", Spock seriously doubted a girl so young could have learned so much so quickly.

"Thanks! I speak German waaaaaaaay better than the soprano in Siegfried - I went last night - I don't think she knows what an umlaut is!"

That got Spock's attention - perhaps she did speak all the languages she claimed to.

"I believe you are correct. Why are you attempting to teach yourself Vulcan? We do not have opera, our music is purely instrumental."

"My dad said it was really hard - I wanted to prove him wrong...only…."

"Only you have few audio references to learn from", he finished her sentence.

"Yeah…Hey, can I practice on you?"

This was not Spock was in the mood to be doing, however, it was becoming unlikely she would leave him alone, even if he said "no."

"Very well", he said, switching into his native tongue.

She started to prattle to him in the WORST accent Spock had ever heard in his life. She was from the United States, though she had come to a music camp in Paris for the summer. She wanted to be an opera singer when she grew up, and learned her languages by listening to music. It was easy for her. Spock took note that her vocabulary was quite impressive, but her accent and placement were very off. He gruffly tried to prevent her from butchering his language. To his surprise she didn't fight him on the changes he made, and incorporated them seamlessly into her speaking. The girl was clearly a talented polyglot- better than him.

"Anyways...so what about you? Why aren't you on Vulcan?" she finished.

"I am here on business with my father."

"Oh- hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"Um… why aren't your ears as pointy as other Vulcans?"

Spock normally wouldn't have answered such as offensive question, but he could tell she didn't mean anything by it, "I am actually half human", he said.

"REALLY? That is SO COOL!" she practically shouted at him.

That was the first time anyone had ever reacted to Spock in that way. "Yes", he said, "my mother is a human."

"Were your parents in Starfleet?"

Spock frowned, "No - why do you ask?"

"It just seems like the sort of place a Vulcan and a human would fall in love." She smiled dreamily.

"They were not."

"Oh - are you going to be?"

Spock hesitated, "I...no...I am not."

She picked up on his discomfort "Do you want to be?"

"No", Spock said "I cannot be - I… it's is a complex situation. I am joining the Vulcan Science Academy in a few years."

"I read about that… it seemed pretty boring. Did you think you won't get into Starfleet?"

"Of course I would be accepted into Starfleet!"

"Then why aren't you going?"

"I cannot - it is complicated. My parents… I shouldn't be telling this to you."

"Why not?"

"How old are you?"

"I'll be 9 in a month."

"That is why."

She frowned, "How old are you?"

"Almost 12"

"And you STILL do everything your parents tell you to?" she shook her pony-tail with unmistakable sass.

Spock was incredulous - this little girl was judging him! Swallowing his temper he said, "You have much to learn."

"Oh I have already done this before."

Spock almost walked away - she was starting to piss him off, "Have you?"

"Yes - My mom wanted me to go to a language camp. But it was more like summer school - I would have had to sit in classes all day. I like learning languages - it's really fun, but I learn better on my own. And I didn't want to sit in class all summer! She yelled at me, she even got my dad on her side but I wasn't going to do it. She wasn't going to waste her summer vacation; I was going to waste MINE. I was going to have to sit bored, so I said no - it's my life!"

"And she accepted your argument?"

"No, she didn't - so I told her to fuck off!"

Spock laughed in spite of himself, "Did that work?"

"Well, I was sent to my room for the rest of the day… but, I'm here now - she gave up, and I love it here, like I knew I would!"

"That is a nice story." He hesitated, "You have one more month to complete your training in Vulcan do you not?"

"Yes… but I don't think I'm going to be able to do it - I can tell from talking to you that my accent is way off. But most Vulcans speak Common and won't help me. You're a lot nicer than they are - maybe it's because you're half human…"

Spock felt so strange…. but he said, "Perhaps I can assist you." Spock pulled out his PADD. On it was an audio file, The Complete Works of Williams Shakespeare. Spock was quite fond of the author's work, and had dictated them to himself in Vulcan to listen to while he was working - no audio Vulcan translation existed. He transferred the file to the girl's PADD, explaining that there would be enough in there to correct her accent.

"Thank you!" she said. It was starting to get dark; he needed to meet his father soon.

"I must leave you now", he said, "I believe your group is leaving too."

"Yes - I have to go… What is your name? You never told me?"

"Spock."

She grinned, "Nyota Uhura! Live long and prosper!" she rattled off and bounded away.

Spock looked after her, with the strangest feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Ten years later Spock pulled up a message that he had put in his delete folder; his admission to Starfleet Academy. He had known he was the top applicant to the Vulcan Science Academy for months, but it had not stopped him from applying. He told himself it was only logical to cultivate a back-up. Of course, rejecting the Vulcan Science Academy was insane - illogical. It would effectively cast him out of Vulcan society, upset his bond-mate, and irreparably damage his relationship with his father. But he could not shake the words a precocious little girl had said to him so long ago - it was his life, he would be the one who would have to go, study, work with people who considered him a freak, he would be the one to live with his decision…though he could not imagine telling the Vulcan Science Academy to "fuck off!" But the more he thought about it, the more he started to dread going. Finally, the night before he was set to go before the Vulcan Science Academy Council to accept his post, he messaged Starfleet and purchased a one way shuttle ticket to Earth. He would have to figure out a reason to reject the Academy when he went before them the next day. The little girl was right - it was HIS life.

"Wow", Kirk said, "So that's how you guys met… She pushed you into Starfleet. Then one day she just wandered into your Warp 101 class."

"Yes", Spock lied - No need to give Jim the missing piece.

"That's pretty cool."

"I do not know what relevance it has, Jim, as I said, my story does not have your unfortunate ending, but I do know what it is to meet someone who changes you."

"No… it's OK… it's nice to know that things work out sometimes… really nice."

"She was exceptional, Jim - I am … very sorry…"

"What she saw in me, I'll never know…"

"I do. Like her, you are a brave and noble leader, as well as a kind, caring person. Lena would not have chosen to love someone who was not worthy of her."

Jim wiped away a tear, "Yeah...maybe… But I think I am going to stay away from the relationship thing for a while… this really fucked me up."

"Please do not reignite your sexual affair with Dr. Marcus."

Jim laughed for what seemed like the first time in forever, "Nah - Scotty would quit on me again…and you remember what happened the last time I put Chekov in charge of engineering."

"Only too well."

Spock got up, "Though...Jim… there is one thing that troubles me. Lena somehow managed to hail every single frequency on this ship…even personal ones. I cannot determine how should could have known them all."

Jim froze, thinking fast, "The Virosa scanned us", he said carefully, "That little blonde one, Veelia, was a hacker."

"Jim! Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I sorted it out with Lena. We handled it. I … guess she kept the hailing frequencies…"

Spock looked suspicious but said nothing.

Jim continued, "I'll be back on the bridge tomorrow - you're right - we should get an answer. I just need one more day...but I should keep busy."