Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.
Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.
Queen Alimpika-the ruler of the magical stadium. She rules over the spirits in the stadium, using them to go against Fionna in numerous events. Queen Alimpika seems to have been beautiful once, but is now nothing more than a rotting corpse. Her skin is a dark gray color, peeling away so that her bones are visible. She has a dismembered leg (most likely from a stadium accident) that now has a thin sword attached to the stub for a replacement limb. Her right shoulder and right thigh seem to be bound in bandages. She has one large, almond-shaped green eye, with the others sealed shut. She also has thin, shoulder-length black hair that falls away at the smallest movement. A small, brown-red tiara floats above her head. She wears many weapons on her body, such as two katana blades on her back, a knife on her left thigh and a sai attached to her right hand.
Athlete Spirits-the ghosts of the athletes who died in the arena. They were purposely defeated and forced to be enslaved by Queen Alimpika. The Athlete Spirits are transparent, pale blue ghosts that wear togas or stolas, and some carry the items they held when they died.
SALUTO UT LAPSIS
Title Card
Fionna stands before the next Athlete Spirit, her javelin in her clammy grasp and her eyes ablaze with madness.
Cake panted as she jumped over yet another geyser, barely making it back to the ground before it erupted in scolding hot water once more. She cradled Fionna like a baby, the human girl sweaty with the heat and humidity in the air. Behind them, the Hot Dog Beast roared in a very Godzilla-like manner, splattering ketchup, mustard, and relish for miles. Knowing they'd be safe from then on out, Cake stopped and set Fionna back onto her feet. Fionna held a large sack on her back, bulging tremendously. She turned to Cake with a scolding glare. "Why didn't you listen! I told you, tryiing to eat it would just make it angry!"
"Sorry. I didn't eat lunch today," Cake said, then set down her own pack. "You got the loot?"
"Yeah, all here," Fionna smiled, and opened her sack. "C'mon, Porcupies, it's a'ight now."
The balls of spiky-sharp quills rustled, then opened their big, shining eyes up at Fionna thankfully. They chuffed at them as their tiny paws popped out of their bodies, and then they scurried away.
An odd sound reached Fionna's ears, like war-cries and metal hitting held up a hand, signaling Cake to be quiet. "Listen. Do you hear that?"
Before Cake could answer, Fionna began to climb the steep slope of the basin that held the geyser land inside. Cake stretched after her, picking her up and tossing her to the top.
Fionna looked up. On the grassy horizon, she could see an odd stadium. Its bricks, if that's what it was made of, were covered in ivy, dark and strong. The left half was almost completely wasted away, almost giving it the appearance of a chipped bowel. The bricks themselves were dark with years of dust and dirt, chipping away to the point of crumbling. The same war cries and metal clashing that Fionna had heard erupted from it, lively and dangerous.
"It's an...Ah-lee-imp-ei-ka stadium..." Fionna tried to exclaim, but she had difficulty pronouncing the word. Then, clearing her throat casually, she began to walk towards the stadium, hands behind her back. "Let's go check it out."
"You mean Alimpika?" Cake chuckled, sliding between Fionna's legs and growing in size until Fionna rode on her back.
"I'm not a dictionary, Cupcake. Pro-nun-cee-ah-tee-on is not my thing."
It took a good five minutes to reach the stadium, which grew and grew as they approached. It was much bigger up close, the biggest building she'd ever seen. Big enough to store every building in the Candy Kingdom. They descended into the entrance tunnel, Cake's pawsteps echoing off the brick walls. Just as they were about to step inside the actual stadium, a flash of green, like a wall, made Cake jump back. Experimentally, Cake took a step forward. The green wall flashed again. With a quizzical look in her eyes, Fionna stepped off of Cake's back and leaned forward just enough to look inside but not trigger the wall. Inside, the ground of the arena was made entirely of earth, the size of a football field. Stone bleachers surrounded it, empty, bare, and crumbling.
"ATHLETES!"
A voice, old and raspy, made Fionna jump. A skeletal woman sat on top of a stony throne, like a corpse that had died there. Her skin was a dark gray color, as thin as paper and as delicate as insect wings. Some of it peeled away from her bones, which were rotting and ashy. Her right eye, the only one she had, was large and almond-shaped, the same color green as the flashing wall. The other eye, the left eye, was sealed shut, as if an eye had never been there. Her scraggly, shoulder-length, jet-black hair was a nest attached to her head, with a small auburn tiara floating above it. She'd looked like she'd seen better days, as well as horrid fights and battles. Her right leg went to her thigh before ending at a stub, with a long, thin sword to replace the rest of the missing limb. Her right shoulder and right they were bound tight in moldy bandages, with grimy patches of mildew growing on the fabric. Her body was covered in weapons, ready with the stroke of a hand. Two katana swords were strapped to her back, giving the appearance of deadly wings. On closer inspection, one could see that লাইভ যুদ্ধ and যুদ্ধ লাইভ were etched into the blades. A wicked knife was in a hilt at her thigh. A sai was attached to the bottom of her wrist, so the spiky blades jutted in-between her fingers.
"ATHLETES!" she called again, her head bobbing. This tiny movement made a handful of hairs cascade from her head. "Seek you honor from Queen Alimpika?"
It took Fionna a moment to realize the corpse, or Queen Alimpika, she guessed, was talking to her and Cake. She rose a hand, and the wall blazed in front of her. "Mayhaps."
"Then step forward, be...yaaaaaand," the Queen's voice caught, and the word came out in a rasp, "the Sunlight Signet, and bathe in blood and glory for the rest of your mortal days."
Fionna considered this, then climbed onto Cake's back once more. "Nah. This is totally a trap."
Cake wiggled her arms at Queen Alimpika as she walked, backwards, out of the tunnel.
"You snuffed out that trap like a bloody-houndy," praised Cake as they were bathed in sunlight once more. "That stupid queeny was trying to snark us into that toally hexed stadium."
"I bet all the exits would magically lock themselves behind us," Fionna agreed with a scoff, laying down on Cake's back to rest her hands behind her head. Her sister's fur tickled her skin.
"We'd probably have to go against Athlete Spirits in a lot of sporty games," added Cake.
"Yeah...so stupid..." Fionna smiled, then frowned. "AND TOTALLY AMAZING!" She grabbed the fur at Cake's collar, yanking it so the cat was forced to turn around. Cake didn't try to resist, because she was already sprinting back for the stadium herself.
It seemed to take the blink of an eye for the girls to enter the tunnel again. This time, however, they did not slow down, but they charged right through the Sunlight Signet, tickling their skin and fur with warm sensations. The Signet made a high-pitched whine before the entrance replaced itself with a solid brick wall.
"We're here!" Cake said, as she shrunk herself down so that Fionna landed on her feet. The two girls struck dazzling poses, with separated feet and jazz hands.
"Fools!" Queen Alimpika cackled, her hair falling from her head in a scraggly rain. "Now thee must go against my Athlete Spirits!"
Fionna and Cake high-fived.
There was a loud, whisper-like sound in the air, like steam hissing from water. Fionna and Cake craned their necks to see where the sound came from, until they finally caught sight of it. Blooms of greenish-gray smoke erupted from the earth, curling into the air in ribbons as they formed into almost solid shapes. Finally, two Athlete Spirits, both girls, appeared in front of them, transparent and ghostly. It was almost entirely obvious how they died. The left one had a countless number of holes in its body, making her look like a walking block of Swiss cheese. The second Spirit looked similar, the majority of her skin charred black to the bone. But unlike the first Spirit, the remaining skin of the Spirit was covered in thick black dust, identical to coal. The names Hypatia and Prima hovered above them.
Prima suddenly disappeared in a bloom of fog, reappearing on a new stone platform about fifty yards to the right. Hypatia also disappeared, but reappeared five yards to the left. Fionna realized that it was going to be a relay race.
Fionna and Cake exchanged nods, and Cake stretched her foot fifty yards to the platform that Prima stood on, and brought herself over. Fionna dashed over to Hypatia's side, watching as a transparent torch materialized in the Athlete Spirit's hand, its flames pale and cold. Fionna felt something in her palm tingle, and when she raised it, a torch appeared in it, too. However, this torch was very real, with solid wood and warm flames, not transparent at all.
Queen Alimpika took out one of her katanas, the blade growing a bright silver color. A large silver gong next to her, rusty and decayed, rang out loudly, echoing over the entire stadium.
Fionna and Hypatia took off. At first, it didn't seem like anything. Just running as fast as they could, the torches raised high. But then, the obstacles appeared one by one as they came to them. Swinging axes appeared out of nowhere, their blades so sharp they could slice your entire body to shreds with one swipe. Fionna and Hypatia dodged all four of them easily, bobbing and weaving, barely escaping with their lives.
Next, three square chunks of the earth, ten by ten feet eat, disappeared, leaving two thin walkways of earth for the both of them to walk on. If that wasn't hard enough, spiky balls of steels jumped out of the pits, threatening to stab them and/or knock them into the bottomless trenches. Once again, bobbing and weaving was the key, and the Athlete Spirit and the human girl did so.
The final obstacle was actually fairly simple: a five-foot-wide trench, though filled with wicked spikes at the bottom. Fionna managed to hurtle this easily, and she expected Hypatia to do so as well. But the Athlete Spirit did not. She stumbled into the deadly trench, and Fionna understood the reason of all the holes in the ghost's body. As Hypatia fell to her death, turning to fog just as her body hit the spikes, she managed to cry out, "I'M SORRY, PRIMA!"
But the fallen spirit had stumbled in such a way that her torch went flying to the platform on which Prima and Cake stood. Prima caught her partner's torch just as Fionna handed hers to Cake.
The ghost and the feline took off like bullets, Cake playing fair by not using her stretchy powers. Prima seemed to glide on the air, and Cake ran on all fours. The only obstacles this duo faced were the boulders that fell from the sky like rain. Some as big as Fionna's fist, others the size of Prince Gumball. They weaved through the huge, falling rocks, watching the shadows carefully.
Their running took them to a long set of stone stairs. They dashed up them, the stone crumbling beneath their feet/paws, making them stumble blindly. Finally, they came to the top of the stairs, where they found a large stone basin filled with black rocks of coal. Cake pounced over to it, chucking her torch inside. The coal immediately blazed, the flames blooming upwards. Even though Cake had already won, Prima appeared two seconds later, her torch raised high. However, her foot caught on a stray stone, and the Athlete Spirit stumbled forward, right into the fire. She disappeared into fog, mixing in with the smoke that drifted up to the sky. "FORGIVE ME, HYPATIA!"
The gong sounded off once more, signifying the sisters' victory. Queen Alimpika's throne moved to the two girls, the earth beneath it grinding and scraping. "Excellent!" Two silver cauldrons appeared next to the queen, filled with an odd sort of seeds. They looked like grapes, but their centers were a bright orange color. "Take these arecacease seeds as your trophies!"
Fionna whooped as the cauldron landed in her awaiting palm. Cake's cauldron fell at her paws, toppling over so that the seeds spilled out. "That's a really louzay trophy." Cake turned to her sister, rubbing the area above her paws. "C'mon, Fifi, let's go home. My calves hurt."
"Awwww, you're too fragile," Fionna sighed, balancing a seed on her index finger. As the two girls turned to the exit, she added, "I'm keeping the seeds, though."
"Where do thy think thy art going?" Queen Alimpika took out both of her katana blades, pointing them at the two girls. Both the blades and the girls were cast in a silver glow. Fionna and Cake were lifted into the air.
"Thy must fight all of my Athlete Spirits to earn thy freedom!" Queen Alimpika rasped, her gray hair floating to the earth, turning to dust before they hit the dirt. "When thy art ready, speak Queen Alimpika's name, and I shall return you to battle."
The girls were thrown through the air, across the entire floor of the stadium. They sailed through the glassless window of what they could only suppose to be the locker rooms. It didn't really look like one, though. The entire place was filled with rusty suits of armor, destroyed weapons, and decayed skeletons. The lockers were nothing more than squares of space inside a stone wall, where rodents had created their nests. Strings of ivy dangled from the ceiling like streamers, drops of icy cold water landing on their heads and shoulders. Each step they took sunk into the floor as if it were made of mud.
"I have a plan," Fionna told her sister, shooing away a family of hungry rats who were after her Mary Janes. "We'll defeat all the Athlete Spirits to earn our freedom, and maybe Queen Alimpika's respect." Fionna's determined face fell into an unsure frown. "You'll follow the plan, right?"
"Yeah, fo sho!" Cake assured her. "But hey, if you make a DUMMY of me, I could stay down here and search for buried treasure!"
"That's...the exact opposite of my plan," Fionna slapped a palm to her face, so hard her nose burned. Then, quirking her eyebrows, she asked, "Why do you need to look for buried treasure, anyway?"
"Vigor!" replied Cake, wiggling her arms. "This place will be as fun...
As a tropical island
As a tropical island
As a tropical island
As a tropical island!"
Fionna laughed out loud, tackling Cake in a bone-crushing hug. The two of them tumbled for a minute, laughing their heads off, before they finally slowed to a stop. As Fionna continued chuckling, Cake picked herself up, walking towards the dusty, cobwebbed corner. Fionna craned her neck to see a small white punching back, patchy and cloaked with so much dust it was kinda gray. "Here, look."
As Cake approached the punching bag, she picked up stray items scattered around the floor, abandoned by their owners. By the time she had actually reached the punching bag, her arms were full of four dirty socks, a filthy towel, a small roll of duct tape, two shards of dull glass, and a old black permanent marker.
Cake towered over the punching bag, blocking out Fionna's view of the project she was working on. All she could hear were the stretches of the duck tape, the crunch of pebbles as Cake scooped them up from the floor, and the squeak of the marker as it drew on the punching bag. Cake finally pulled back, she beamed with pride. "See?"
She had managed to turn the punching bag into an amateur replica of herself. The white-gray fabric and the coffee-colored patches on the bag matched Cake's fur almost perfectly. The four socks, which served as the limbs, were filled with pebbles, making them sag, and thus making them longer. The sock-limbs were attached to the punching bag by the duct tape, so tight they could not be pulled free. The towel, also applied with duct tape, was stuck to the back of the bag, giving the appearance of a tail. The two shards of dull glass were jabbed into the top to make the ears. Cake had used the marker to draw her face on the front of the sleeping bag, and Fionna had to admit it looked pretty identical to her own face. To Fionna, it was obvious that it was a decoy, but Queen Alimpika had one eye and she knew Spirits couldn't see well.
"I give you...Chicane Cake!" proclaimed Cake, giving Fionna jazz paws. "Just like we planned!"
Fionna gave Cake a hesitant smile. The feline gave her a reassuring wink before she shrunk down to the size of a mouse. Seh then pounced into an old shoe, looking for who-knows-what.
Fionna sighed, picking up Chicane Cake and draping it over her left shoulder, holding her right hand on its back to support it. She then approached the window, cupping her mouth with her free hand to call, "WE ARTH READY, QUEEN ALIMPIKA!"
Immediately, Fionna and Chicane Cake were engulfed in silvery fog, lifting them into the air. They sailed through the window, shooting through the air until they came to Queen Alimpika, still seated on her throne. Fionna's feet hit the earth as Queen Alimpika chuckled. "Certari continues for thee human female and thee...feline?" Queen Alimpika's head tilted to the side in confusion, taking in Chicane Cake's appearance.
"Yeah," Fionna pretended to rub Chicane Cake between the ears. "This is feline."
Queen Alimpika dropped the subject, raising a katana sword to the air. As the blade glimmered in silver fog, she commanded, "Arise, Pricilla. Arise, Venus."
Two plumes of ashy green fog rose from the earth, swirling in the air as they took their forms. Finally, two female Spirits stood before Fionna and Chicane Cake, glaring icily through milky white eyes. The first one-Pricilla, according to the letters above her head-was bulky and bulging, and not just because of muscles, either. The dead woman had been pummeled and beaten so hard her skin was deformed horribly, lumps the size of fists and gashes bone-deep. Her eyes almost entirely swollen shut and her teeth were nothing more than jagged pebbles of white. The second Athlete Spirit, Venus, was exactly the same, though she was a bit skinnier when she died.
Fionna then noticed the thick, cushioned gloves that swallowed up the ghosts' hands. The second she noticed it, identical gloves appeared on her own hands, cushioned on the inside and leathery on the outside. Beside her, another pair of gloves appeared on Chicane Cake's paws.
Oh. So the next game would be boxing.
Four thick poles surrounded the four girls, rusted and bent. Snake-like ropes span out from the poles, connecting them together so that they formed a square. The earth of the ring turned into fabric, smelling badly of mildew and mold.
The gong rang out.
Fionna flung herself at Pricilla. She jumped high into the air, raising her gloved fist in a punch. Pricilla dodged this, spinning around as Fionna flew over her shoulder. The Spirit punched the human girl in the middle of her spine, knocking the wind out of her. Fionna fell to the floor of the boxing ring on all fours, scraping her knees.
Venus punched Chicane Cake squarely, who was left limp on the floor by Fionna. The punch was so hard that the decoy feline's seams burst open, sand spilling out like blood. Venus continued to pummel Chicane Cake, flinging its body over her shoulder and punching it again and again. Soon, sand was scattered everywhere, and Chicane Cake looking identical to an empty sack of flour, with broken shards of glass and shredded socks for limbs.
Venus suddenly burst into tears, holding Chicane's Cake sack-like body close to her chest. "FORGIVE ME, PRICILLA!"
"The feline has fallen," Queen Alimpika tried to say gravely, but a grin overtook her decayed face, flashing two wickedly yellow teeth, as holed as Swiss cheese.
Fionna dodged Pricilla's fist as it sailed down to her. She rolled over, the Spirit's hand smashing into the fabric of the floor so that it left a deep indentation. While she was occupied, Fionna pounced at her, sailing her fist into the ghost's face.
Pricilla sailed backwards, tears spilling from her eyes. As she gasped for air, she whispered, "Λυπάμαι, Venus."
Fionna sent her glove into Pricilla's face once more. The ghost disappeared into smoky fog instantly.
The gong sounded off. Fionna had won once more. The ring disappeared, the ropes, poles, and fabric floor dissolving into wisps of foggy smoke.
"The competing shall sojourn for the time being," Queen Alimpika proclaimed, raising a bony hand that trembled with the movement. "Step forward, victor. And claim your prize."
Back in the locker room, the entire floor was covered in mountains of muddy dirt. Cake had her legs combined together, forming a drill. She was hammering into the earth, mud splattering her fur and skin. She was making a "drudrudrudru" sound with her lips, mimicking the sound of an actual drill.
GONG! GONG!
Cake ceased her drilling. Looking up questionably (she was already seven feet down), her forehead furrowed and her muzzle in an amused smile, she mused, "Two gongs? Something banaynays is goin' on."
Cake stretched herself out of the hole, in front of one of the glassless windows in the room. Stretching down to the ground of the stadium, she sneakily dashed towards the blots that were Fionna and Queen Alimpika, stretching her legs to make her move faster.
When she found Chicane Cake's fallen body, mutilated beyond recognition, she balled it up in a wad and chucked it into the bleachers near the locker rooms. Then, she smiled and made herself seen. "Cake in the stadium! Always has been!"
Cake cut off in confusion when she saw the scene in front of her. Fionna was approaching Queen Alimpika on her throne, the decayed royal giving her a horrible smile that made her entire face wrinkle like paper. "Closer, my champion. You have proven worthy of my favor."
"Dang straight," Fionna chimed, beaming proudly.
Queen Alimpika took out her katana swords, glowing a brighter silver than they ever had before. They both touched down on Fionna's shoulders.
Fionna's body became outlined in a sickly white glow. Goosebumps appeared and disappeared on her skin over and over in a strobe-like manner. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes going entirely white. She spoke foreign words, but her mouth never moved.
"Θα σκοτώσω όποιον ζήτηση, βασίλισσά μου."
Cake's tail frizzled with the eerie feeling that crept up her spine. "Bad feeling. I got a baaaaad feeling about this."
Queen Alimpika waved a hand. A gold cauldron appeared next to her, filled with arecaceae seeds to the brim. The cauldron hovered down to Fionna, becoming outlined in the human girl's silver glow. "Accept your trophy, my victorious champion."
Fionna didn't hesitate. She snatched the cauldron from the air, plunging her hand inside to scoop up a handful of the grape-like seeds. She stuffed them into her mouth, barely having chewed them before stuffing in more. Soon, the cauldron was empty and Fionna's face was dripping with orange juice. Fionna wiped it away with her arm, and suddenly kicked the air around her. She then pumped her fists twice, then twisted around with her leg held high.
Cake approached her sister cautiously. "Fifi?"
"The feline lives," Queen Alimpika tried to smile, but her disappointment was obvious.
"Yeah, I lives," Cake replied, then turned back to her sister. "Fifi, c'mon, let's-"
Fionna suddenly did a 90-degree spin, pumping her leg towards Cake's face. Cake managed to dodge it, stretching away far enough so that she went uninjured. But that didn't mean unsurprised. Cake gawked at her sister, her eyes the size of baseballs. "FIFI! WHAT THE CRIBBLES?"
Fionna suddenly came to her senses. She brought her leg back to the earth, her eyebrows furrowed in apology and confusion. "S-sorry, Cupcake." Fionna's gaze then hardened to a scolding look. "But you shouldn't sneak up on me like that."
"Rest yourselves, athletes," commanded Queen Alimpika, her katana swords already shining silver.
With a wave of the blades, the two girls shot through the air in a wisp of silver. When they burst through the window of the locker room, Fionna landed on her feet perfectly. She then continued punching and kicking the air, sometimes raising her arms as if she were defending herself.
Cake watched with absolute confusion and worry. "So...uh...how's the plan goin'?"
"What plan?" snapped Fionna, narrowing her eyes at the feline as she raised her leg and fist at the same time.
Cake gaped at her sister. "The plan to get out of here! Remember? I get the buried treasure, you go against all the ghoulies."
"Yes, I compete with the Spirits," Fionna smiled a creepy smile. "To hear the crowds screaming in praise, to receive the prizes of glory..."
"There are no crowds," interrupted Cake, folding her arms over her chest. "And the only prizes you've been getting are those dang tree seeds."
"I COMPETE TO COMPETE," roared Fionna, causing Cake to cower back. Fionna suddenly dashed to the window, leaning over to pick up Chicane Cake's demolished body. She pulled it inside, already beginning to stuff it with pebbles.
Cake watched her sister with extreme uncertainty. Fifi's being oddballs. Her vigor must be dangerously low. Gotta get that treasure soon.
In no time at all, Fionna had managed to restore Chicane Cake entirely, its seams tight and its body filled heavy with sand and pebbles. She practically pounced on the window, screaming, "I AM READY TO COMPETE, MY HIGHNESS!"
Fionna and Chicane Cake were immediately shot from the window in a blur of silver. When Fionna's feet hit the earth, she dropped Chicane Cake and braced herself for competition.
Cake, meanwhile, continued to stare at the window, even though Fionna was long gone. She then turned back to the deep hole in the earth, her eyes narrowed in determination. "Gotta find dat booty. For Fifi."
Cake smiled, and began to sway her hips.
"On a tropical island,
Down by the crystal water
Hangin' with the Kuhanas,
Askin' questions while we eat bananas!"
Six Athlete Spirits materialized with a wave of Queen Alimpika's katana blades. They were all huge, with meaty muscles and thick bones. They all snarled at Fionna in a beastly manner, tears streaming down their faces.
Fionna knew what this was: The Polemos. And it was going to be six Athlete Spirits against a human girl and a fake cat.
Perfectly fine with her.
The first ghost appeared next to her in a bloom of smoke. Achelous, as the letters above his head titled him, was twice as tall as Fionna and five times as big. His muscles were the size of garbage bins and his chest was as thick as an oak tree's. His head was oddly shaped, however. It was as if something large, thin, and round had sailed right into his face, molding into it as if his skull were made of clay.
Achelous's hand began to tremble. A moment later, a large object, the size of a large dinner plate, was held inside his grasp. It was round and heavy, made out of an alloy like copper. Fionna identified it as a diskos. Just as she did so, she felt her hand glimmer. Before she knew it, she had a diskos of her own in her grasp. It was very, very heavy, and she had to use both hands to carry it.
So this first Polemos would be a Diskos Throw. Fionna watched as Achelous turned his body, his left arm (the one with the diskos) curling around his torso. With a grunt, his arm slung out, sending the diskos flying through the air. It sailed far over the bleachers, right into the brick barrier wall. It stayed there, stuck inside the foundation.
Fionna felt a new strength surge through her. The diskos in her hand, once unbearably heavy, became lighter than a feather. She flung it, sending it flying like a bullet.
The diskos curved to the right, spinning around the entire stadium. The Athlete Spirits, Fionna, and Queen Alimpika turned their bodies to watch it. As it completed its full wrap around the stadium, the diskos went sailing right back towards Fionna and Achelous. It sailed right into Achelous's face, filling the inedntation perfectly.
"Συγχώρεσέ με, my friend!" he cried, before he disappeared forever.
The next Polemos commenced without hesitation. Tethys, the next Athlete Spirit, appeared next to Fionna the same way Achelous did. Tethys was the slimmest of the six Athlete Spirits, though she was thicker than normal. She also had a large hole right through her chest, looking as if something sharp and rod-like had speared her. She held a akontio in her grasp, a long, light spear used in common Polemos.
And so, the next Polemos would be a Akontio Throw. Fionna's own akontio appeared in her grasp before she was even aware of it.
Tethys dashed forward about twenty or so feet before she let her akontio fly. The spear sliced through the air for a long moment before finally embedding itself inside a large boulder near the end of the stadium.
Fionna knew the boulder was the target. She didn't dash forward, she simply swung back her arm and sent the javelin flying.
The javelin shot through the air. However, instead of giong straight for the boulder, it did an odd curve and sailed right towards Tethys, piercing her right through the hole in her chest.
"Λυπάμαι!" She cried just as she vanished into thin air.
The javelin chose then to pierce the boulder.
And so, Polemos Three commenced. Two large stone pillars erupted from the earth, stretching ten feet high before a thick steel rod materialized between them.
The Alma Polomos. Somewhat simple in sequence, but difficult to actually pull off. The athlete had to jump backwards, avoiding hitting the pole whilst landing on his/her feet perfectly.
Amazon, the next Spirit, materialized next to Fionna whilst already in his preparing stance. Amazon's appearance confused Fionna. His entire body was filled with holes the size of small bowels, supposedly from multiple stab wounds. How did someone die from stab wounds just from jumping over a pole?
Fionna didn't linger on it for long. Amazon took off, charging for the pole with great speed. When he reached it, he twisted his body as he leaped. Amazon just missed the pole, and it seemed like he would be successful.
But in the blink of an eye, the ground beyond the pole and its pillars split open, and Fionna could just make out the tips of razor-sharp spikes at the bottom. Amazon sailed right into the pit, letting out a cry of "συγχωρώ-!" Just as he died again.
Fionna pulled off the jump flawlessly. She charged, leaped, and curved her body with perfect grace, landing on her feet almost impossibly. She smiled. Three out of six Polomos won. Just three more to go.
The fourth Athlete Spirit, Tripura, appeared immediately. Though her form was large and tall, her body was as thin as Fionna's hand. Like someone had steam-rolled her flat.
When Tripura knelt down into her stance, and two-digit numbers appeared on the earth in white, it was clear that the next Polomos would be a simple Ektelesi. Just a race. A simple race with no obstacles of any sort.
The goal would be the gong, which somehow moved to the other side of the stadium without any notice. The gong sounded off without anything hitting it, and the two girls took off.
Fionna knew something was off when they reached the fifty yard checkpoint. Wonderfully, miraculously off. She didn't feel tired in any way at all. It was like she couldn't get tired. Her stamina never decreased, if anything, it only increased. In no time at all, she was blasting past Tripura in a cloud of dust.
Fionna's hand slapped the gong so hard it went off as if her hand were a mallet. Tripura didn't seem to notice. She continued to charge for the gong, so fast she didn't have time to stop. She slammed right into the gong, making her thin body only thinner. She disappeared with a whispered apology.
"That was for you, my Queen!" proclaimed Fionna, her smile so big it was almost impossible.
Meanwhile, Cake was laying in the mountain of dirt that had formed in the locker room. She had taped two shards of glass together as sunglasses, which now rested over her eyes. She held a broken cup in her paw, a tiny umbrella formed out of a scarp of cloth and a toothpick inside. The cup was supposed to be filled with juice, but all Cake could get was thick, muddy water that she didn't dare drink. Cake set her arms behind her head, smiling contently.
"Sittin' by the sea
As peaceful as can be
Lyin' in the sunshine,
Lyin' in the sunshine."
Fionna continued to pull off the last two Polomos. The fifth one was a Pali Match with a Spirit named Rumina, where they basically just wrestled with each other until Rumina died from a blow to the skull. The final one was a Arma Race, in which Fionna and a two-headed spirit named Roma and Ruma rode on rickety chariots pulled by skeleton horses. Fionna did not notice it, but Queen Alimpika's mouth and eyes were blasting out some sort of green energy whilst she competed. The energy grew as Fionna continued to win.
All the Polomos had been won by Fionna. As the gong sounded off her victory, Fionna bowed on one knee before Queen Alimpika. "I hath defeated all of thy athletes, my queen."
"Nay, my champion," Queen Alimpika smiled a yellow-toothed smile. "One athlete still remains."
"Where art the athlete?!" demanded Fionna, jumping straight to her feet. "I shall defeat them!"
"The final athlete...IS THY DEAR COMPANION."
Queen Alimpika's katanas swiped through the air. Chicane Cake, who was just in the dirt the entire time, lifted into the air and moved towards the human girl and the queen. It dropped limp right in front of Fionna.
The final Polomos would be a Thanatos Battle.
A battle to the death.
Fionna chuckled. A horrible, raspy, deranged chuckle that wasn't supposed to belong to a teenage girl. Bending down to pluck a stray dagger from the earth, she approached the fake feline, her chuckle growing louder.
She brought the dagger down, stabbing Chicane Cake right between the eyes.
"Get me out of this ro-o-om
Cos it's filled with nothing but glo-o-om.
And if I stick to the pla-a-an.
I may turn into an island woma-a-an.
I MAY TURN INTO AN ISLAND WOMAN!"
Cake finished her song with satisfaction. Deciding to take a break from digging, she stretched out of the window, going to check on Fionna. Her paws hit the earth, and she stood up, smiling. "Hey, Fifi, how's the plan-WHAT THE WHAT?"
Fionna was tearing Chicane Cake to shreds. The glass ears were crushed to dust. The socks were stripped away, its pebbles spilled onto the dirt. The rag of a tail was nothing but shreds, and the punching bag was torn beyond recognition. Fionna continued to rip apart the fabric, growling and snarling. She even scooped up a handful of sand and ate it.
Cake gasped so loudly her throat clenched.
Fionna heard. She spat out the sand, raising her head up in such a way it reminded Cake of a animal looking up from a meal. Her eyes were filled with a mix of confusion and annoyance.
"Why hath thy stopped?" demanded Queen Alimpika. The decaying royal tilted her head, sending gray hair raining.
"This feline was a farse!" Fionna answered, grabbing a handful of sand and letting it cascade between her fingers. She jabbed a finger at Cake, her eyes ablaze. "Let me defeat the real feline!"
Cake choked.
"Smite her in my name!" Queen Alimpika cackled, raising a katana blade to point at Cake.
Fionna smiled a nightmarish smile. "Yes, my queen."
Fionna grabbed her dagger swiftly, charging towards her sister. When she brought the dagger down, Cake dove to the left, yelling, "What about the plan?"
"THIS IS THE PLAN!" cried Fionna, slicing the razor-sharp blade at Cake's belly.
Cake jumped back, her muzzle agape. "You're gonna kill me?"
"OF COURSE I AM!"
The dagger almost took off Cake's ears. The feline stretch-jumped to the bleachers, trying to find some safety. Fionna only hurtled the wall, charging after the feline. "This entire competition hath been leading to this! The final battle! SISTER AGAINST SISTER!"
"NO!" Cake cried, jumping back into the stadium.
"Yes!" Queen Alimpika cried back, a yellowed tooth falling from her smile.
As Fionna charged at Cake once more, the feline knew she had to do something. So she charged back at her sister, wrapping her body around her torso and lifting her into the air. Fionna tried slicing her sister's head again and again, going for an instant kill. She snarled in frustration. "QUEEN ALIMPIKA!"
The dagger slipped from her grasp.
"I can't do it, Queen Alimpika. I can't kill my sister."
Cake felt her muzzle twitch in a smile. "Fifi?"
"...NOT WITHOUT A BIGGER WEAPON!"
Queen Alimpika let out a shriek of absolute relish, grinning so wide flakes of skin fell to the earth. She raised her katana swords high, shining as silver as stars. "YES! FINISH HER!" She tossed the blades into the air.
Fionna caught them with both hands. She raised them high, the points aimed right at Cake's body.
Cake gasped and clamped her eyes shut, bracing herself for searing pain. "No...!"
Fionna threw the swords to the ground.
When they made impact, they immediately shattered to pieces. Two gigantic blooms of silver vapor lifted into the air, combining together before bursting into a shower of dull sparks.
Queen Alimpika let out a faint, raspy shriek, her jaw opening to incredible size. She instantly began to deteriorate. Every last strand of her gray, scraggly hair fell from her scalp, turning to dust before they touched the ground. Her green eye went from shining bright to going pitch black. The small crown hovering above her head fell to the ground with a small 'clink'. Her skin, already ashen and decayed, shriveled and turned as white as paper. Even her weapons began to crumble to dust. By the time sunshine began to pour through the thick gray clouds, Queen Alimpika was nothing more than a broken corpse.
At once, all of the stone-walled exits and entrances sizzled, disappearing into thin air.
Fionna turned to Cake, who was still staring at Fionna in total horror. Fionna smiled, a real smile, and winked at her sister. "Wink." She nudged Cake's arm.
"WHAT?!" cried Cake. She let her twisted body fall to the ground, setting Fionna free. "That was all fake? That was an act? That was part of the plan?"
Fionna set her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest proudly. "Yuh-huh."
Something hissed behind them. Fionna and Cake span around, planning on seeing a horde of angry spirits charging at them. They did see the Athlete Spirits, but much, much different. Instead of being greenish-gray, they were now snowy white, pure and clean. They were no longer murderous, angry, or apologetic, but they were now smiling at the two sisters, laughing and giving them thumbs-ups.
Fionna, Cake, and all of the Athlete Spirits walked out together. The sunshine made the spirits sparkle, their forms like diamonds. Fionna tilted her head back, letting the sun's rays warm her cheeks and bruises.
"So the plan was to get cozy with Queen Alimpika and almost kill me from the start?" Cake asked for clarification.
"Yeup."
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Cos you always bagundle my plans. But if you had actually begundled this one..." Fionna glared at her sister, her lips pulled back in a snarl. "I would have for real killed you."
Fionna and Cake burst into soft laughter. Wiping tears from her eyes, Cake chuckled, "That's some groovy joovy, sistah."
"Hey, Cupcake, did you notice how all of these Spirits are walking in pairs of two?" Fionna waved an arm to the Spirits around them. Sure enough, they were all walking in pairs of two, smiling and laughing in silent conversations. As the duo watched, the Spirits' images began to waver, similar to heat off of a fire. Then, their forms began to disintegrate, vanishing into wisps of white light that fluttered up into the sky.
"I bet they're like us," Cake smiled, waving to the retreating ghosts. They kindly waved back. "Two sistahs who got trapped in dat funkay junkay stadium."
"But they're free now," the human girl sighed.
As the two girls walked away, thinking over the events of their day, the stadium bloomed into white vapor, swirling up into the sky to be with the clouds...
TRIVIA
This episode was extremely based off of Greek culture:
1. The odd language that is spoken is Greek.
2. The stadium and the games played inside are based off of the Greek Olympics.
3. 'Alimpika' is Bengali for 'Olympic'
লাইভ যুদ্ধ and যুদ্ধ লাইভ , the language etched into Queen Alimpika's blades, mean "Fight to Live" and "Live to Fight" in Bengali.