Title: Plan B
Chapter 7 – Growing Pains

Severide's lips offer a panicked curse seconds before all of them spring into action; each taking an area the agitated child might have wandered off toward. Casey heads for the truck, Pauline the entrance to the eating area and Severide the large open truck door.

Aurora in the meantime had spied something that made her smile as soon as she saw it. And she ran right for – Pouch.

"Hi pouch," Aurora whispers as she gives the mild-mannered dog a hug around her neck and then starts to pet her fur, all the while her little blue eyes want to water. "Want mommy," she whispers sadly as Pouch looks up with adoring brown eyes. The canine of course cannot understand what the sad little four year old could possibly want but instead allows her to keep petting her fur.

At the same time another friendly face appears and near the little girl and dog in question.

"Aurora sweetheart," Boden's warm, deep voice greets as he bends down to her eye level. "Where's your daddy?" He asks, despite being able to hear Severide's voice in the near distance. But he wanted to hear what she had to say first. However, Aurora says nothing only turns back to Pouch and continues to pet her.

A few seconds later Severide rounds the corner, at first not seeing Boden as he was hidden by the couch he was kneeling in front of and allowing his frustrated anger to get the best of him.

"Aurora!" His voice snaps as Casey hurries up behind him; Pauline a few seconds in tow. "Don't you EVER…" his voice raises to an angry pitch before he spies Boden as he stands up with a sympathetic glance. Severide reaches his daughter and bends down to her; looking at her shimmering blue sapphires and feeling his heart sink.

"Want mommy," she utters again as he picks her up in his grasp and holds her close. But he pulls away slightly with a heavy frown, knowing that he still needed to scold her for what she did.

"You are to never leave my side!" His voice lightly snaps before his jaw sets and he shakes his head.

'Remember never scold her for not doing something you didn't tell her to do in the first place.' He hears Shay's words and then quickly backtracks in his mind, wondering if he had told her to stay at his side or not. He didn't. Ah damn it! His mind curses as he launches into an explanation as to why she's never to leave his side when they are out in public.

"Why?" Aurora naturally asks.

"Because it's dangerous and you could have gotten hurt really bad."

"I was with Pouch."

"Plus you scared daddy."

Aurora's arms wrap tightly around his neck and hold him close as his lips nuzzle her ear.

"Sorry baby girl but I was worried."

"Is she okay?" Casey asks in concern as they rejoin Boden inside the warm belly of Firehouse 51.

"Yeah," Severide replies with a heavy sigh as he looks at Casey in defeat and then at Boden. "I need to take her home but…"

"Go. Shift is almost done and I'll get Capp to cover this time," Boden replies as Pauline gives Aurora a kiss and hug, squeezes Severide's arm before taking her leave to go and help her husband. Casey takes the verbal hint from Boden and heads back into the eating area of 51; leaving the Chief to talk to his friend and new roommate.

"I'm sorry Sir…I thought I had this all worked out," Severide explains with a heavy sigh as the two of them walk out toward Severide's waiting car.

"You okay with all this?"

"I feel like I'm in over my head but I just need to get into a routine right?" Severide ponders as he straps a still fussing Aurora into her car seat and closes the door and looks at his boss with a strained expression. "Part of me wants to run as far away and as fast as I can but I know I can't and…"

"And it's a new stress trying to find a balance coping with Shay's death, working full time and being a single father."

"Yeah…that," Severide groans as he rubs his face. "Hermann told me it only gets harder."

"Well…if anyone would be the expert in that area, it's him."

"Damn, thought it would be a scare tactic," Severide replies with a sarcastic groan as Boden slaps him on the back. "You know I won't normally duck out."

"It's only two hours left. Go and put her to bed."

"Okay."

From his vantage point inside Firehouse 51, Casey watches Severide's car pull away and feels his own anxiety surge. He had only wanted to help as he could see Severide floundering a bit with his frantic mother in law and his over tired child but now wonders if he overstepped his friend and Uncle role and make his friend resent him.

"Is he okay?"

"Growing pains," Boden replies with a heavy sigh. "Something he's going to have to get used to. But he'll be okay," Boden adds as his hand rests on Casey's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. However, Boden's parting comment of "I hope" is lost in the air but not entirely lost on Casey's worried mind.

Casey gives Boden a nod and then watches his boss enter the Firehouse and disappear into the main eating area but his eyes turn back to the darkened parking lot and his brow furrows. He looks at his watch and knows that the next few hours can't go fast enough so he can get home and hope that he can try to calm some of the tension he's feared he's caused with his new roommate.

XXXXXXXX

"Aurora you need to go to sleep."

"No!"

"Okay it's late and…you need sleep!" Severide lightly growls as he rubs his face while his over-tired daughter looks up at him in defiance.

"No!" Aurora argues back as she scampers out of bed and stomps toward the corner toy box, pulling out a few toys that had already been put away and making a bit of a mess.

"Okay you need…" Severide huffs as he gently pulls her back; his mind always reminding him that he could never use his strength to hurt her needlessly.

"Let go daddy!"

"No! It's bedtime. Now!" His voice hisses a bit sharper than normal, making her look up with brimming eyes. "Ah no more crying!" He groans as he places her back in bed and tosses the other toy back onto the floor. "Aurora, it's time for bed and that's final."

He tries to tuck in her blanket but she rolls onto her side with her back to him and starts to cry.

"Ah damn," he lightly curses as he slumps down onto the side of her bed and holds his head in his hands.

'So what happens if we miss nap time one day? It's just a nap,' he remembered shrugging off like it was no big deal.

'Picture me overtired times ten.'

'That bad huh.'

'Hell on earth.'

"Goodnight," he whispers as he kisses the top of her head and turns off the bedside light, bringing on the little nightlight. He heads into the hallway with a tight stomach and agitated frame. He thinks back to the unsettling conversation at the Firehouse and can only shake his head at how he handled it.

He heads into the kitchen and instead of reaching for a plate of nourishing leftovers, he grabs a beer and heads into living room. He hears Aurora's cries die down as he slumps into a nearby large leather recliner and casts his gaze outside into the inky night landscape. It's only going to get harder…not easier!

"Ahhh!" Severide hisses as he pictures Shay's face in his mind's eyes…rushing up to Dawson's side as she tries in vain to use CPR to bring his best friend back to life. But his verbal outburst only serves to wake his already distraught daughter up and that makes him curse himself once more. He has to hold himself back from snapping at her in the hopes that she'll just fall back asleep on her own or cries herself back to sleep. Severide's mind berates him for not wanting to face another onslaught of 'whys' but he bows out and tells himself he'll just have to live with the misery tonight.

He slightly dozes off after his second beer; his mind quickly jerking him awake when he hears the front door opening and Casey's frame appears.

"Did I wake anyone?" Casey asks softly as Severide shakes his head and leans forward. His foot kicks the two empty beer bottles on the floor as Casey nears; prompting Casey to look down in wonder. "Did you have any real food?"

"Beer is real food," Severide gently barks as he grabs the bottles and quickly stands up. But in doing so the blood rushes too fast to his head and he instantly sways.

"Hey I can…"

"I got it!" Severide retorts with an irritated tone as Casey's hands rise and he backs up. Severide looks at Casey's strained expression and grits his teeth as they hear Aurora offer a sad whimper. But thankfully for both of them, the once restless four year old remains asleep; this time tired out until morning.

"I um…"

"Back at the House I wasn't trying to parent. I just thought I'd give you a break."

"I know, I just…I didn't expect Aurora to be like that. Damn I guess I bought too much into Shay's talk about Aurora being the perfect child," his voice ends with a small snicker as Casey's face softens. "Yeah I know that's a load of crap but um…but it just helps to hear her voice saying that at times. Ah I don't know…I need sleep."

Casey offers a quiet goodnight and watches his friend take his leave; the tension in the air still lingering as he takes the empty beer bottles and places them with the other glass recycling items. He looks in the fridge but his appetite is gone. He had come home under a cloud of angsty concern and that didn't dissipate after their conversation, in fact he feels that it could almost be worse. So with a heavy sigh he closes the fridge, turns off the light and heads to bed under a cloud of emotional gloom.

The next morning, Casey awakens first, his ears listening to the quiet in the apartment and then casting his eyes toward his clock and groaning that his sleep was more disturbed than he had wanted. But when he goes to roll over onto his side, his back to the door, he hears the sound of little footsteps heading his way and looks at the doorway with a sleepy gaze as Aurora appears.

"Morning Aurora."

"Uncle Matt!" She exclaims excitedly as she runs and jumps onto his bed with her dolly in her hand. She starts jumping on his bed and laughing as Casey forces himself to sit upright and enjoy the happy child on his lap. However, the noises quickly awaken her father, who stumbles from his bed in a weary fog.

For a few brief seconds, Severide rounds the corner into Casey's bedroom and pictures Shay on her bed with Aurora happily bouncing around her.

'There's daddy!'

'Daddy come play with us!'

"Kelly?"

'Daddy! Come play with me and mommy!'

"Kelly."

"Daddy!"

Severide's mind finally snaps him from his morbid stupid and Shay's smiling face disappears and is replaced with Casey's; Aurora's remaining where it is. "Hey," he replies with a strained smile as he remains leaning against the doorframe to Casey's bedroom.

Casey locks eyes with Severide and sees the look of torment in his friend's eyes and offers him a small smile. "Come join us."

"I uh…I need a shower. Want to get started on breakfast? Pauline will be here in an hour."

"Sure," Casey replies as he watches Severide disappear from view; his eyes turning back to Aurora.

"Look Uncle Matt! Look! Look!" Aurora's little hands tug on the bottom of his tee-shirt. He can't help but smile; his eyes however, not able to see the through the wall and that his best friend's aching frame was leaning against the wall with his watery eyes closed and his jaw tight.

"We need to get you ready for the day," Casey tells Aurora as he tries to capture her bouncing frame in his grasp. But she just lets out a squeal, hops off the bed and races from the room. "Can I bottle that energy," Casey sighs as he pushes himself from bed and hurries after her.

He enters her room and can only sigh in exasperation as he looks at the empty toy box. The large wooden, brightly painted box was a gift from Hermann and his family and when used properly is indispensable. Right now its purpose was lost on everyone but the box itself.

"Aurora you need to pick up your toys," Casey tries to explain as he pulls out the little chore list that he and Severide had made a few days ago.

"No!" She looks up with a grin as she plunks herself down on the floor and starts to chatter away to her Barbie dolls. But when Casey starts to put a few things back into the large toy box she starts to protest. "No Uncle Matt! No!"

"Grandma Pauline is coming very soon and you need to have your toys put away."

"Come play with me and Dora," Aurora holds up her Dora the Explorer doll for Casey to take. Casey does and puts it into the toybox. But that instantly draws Aurora's anger and she's not shy to let him know. "STOP IT UNCLE MATT!"

"Hey hey…no yelling at any adults in this House."

Aurora looks up at her father with a cross expression and then tries to tug her doll out of Casey's grasp.

"I think we'll all need a nap today," Severide mentions with a small smirk as he sits down on the end of Aurora's bed. "Thanks. I'll take it from here if you wanna get ready."

"Tried to get her to put her toys away."

"Okay," Severide replies with a tight lipped smile as he watches Casey take his leave; his eyes darting back down to his daughter a few seconds later.

'Remember Kelly, it's important that we are always in agreement on the important stuff,' he recalls Shay looking up with the parenting book in her grasp. 'Like chores and rules. If I say to clean her room you have to agree. This way she can't divide and conquer us.'

'You got all that from that book?'

'That and I'm smart,' she had retorted with a laugh. 'And I was cornered by Cindy Hermann at the last picnic and asked her stuff.'

'Stuff.'

'Uh huh. Stuff,' she looked up with a smile. 'Or are you doubting the book?'

'Nope.'

"Come play with me daddy!"

Severide's lips can't help but give his beautiful little girl a loving smile as he leans in closer and kisses her on the forehead. Be kind…but be firm. Casey had already given her a task – clean her toys, you must be in agreement with that. "Baby girl you need to put your toys away. Grandma Pauline is on her way here and this room needs to be clean."

"No daddy," Aurora retorts with a bit less sting in her tone. She tries to grab the doll from her father's grasp but he merely picks up another and then shows her what to do.

"Now it's your turn. This is your room and your toybox so it's important to keep it clean like me and Uncle Matt keep our rooms clean."

'So do we pay her to keep her room clean?'

'No, it has to be other stuff. Like…changing the oil in the car.'

Shay's sarcastic comments always made him laugh and his heart literally aches as he ponders the fact she'll never get to share or see the results of their hard work.

"See just like daddy does," Severide repeats as he puts another toy into the box. "You want to show gramma you're a big girl now right? With a clean room?"

"Yes daddy."

"That's my princess," he whispers as he puts in another toy. He watches her going about her task of gathering the items from the floor into her box and feels his agitation lessen.

"All done daddy," Aurora looks at her father with a bright smile.

Severide looks past her and picks up the one last toy and then kisses her cheek. "You did great sweetheart," he praise, making her smile get bigger. "Okay what do you want to wear today? I know gramma usually does this but um… I gotta get used to it right?" Severide mumbles to himself as Aurora's head slightly cocks to the right and she looks at her father in wonder.

He can only offer her a soft smirk as he pushes himself up and heads for her closet. "I have no idea what to put together," he mutters as he turns back to her drawers. He pulls out a pair of jeans, socks, undershirt and sweater. "How's that?"

"Okay daddy," Aurora answers with a small shrug of her own.

"Okay you get dressed and then um…come join me and Uncle Matt in the kitchen."

"Okay."

Casey watches Severide enter the kitchen and gently arches his brows. "Everything resolved in there?"

"Think it's just a sign of things to come," Severide huffs as he looks up at Casey with a somewhat sheepish expression. "I got her to…well try to put her toys away. I know we gotta be in agreement with those things so she doesn't try to divide us and today was the first test."

"Did we pass?" Casey asks with a small smile as Severide nods.

"Yes and now she's in there dressing…on her own," Severide adds as they both look up to see Aurora come running into the room – slightly disheveled.

"At least we passed on the toys," Casey gently snickers as Casey looks at his daughter with a frown.

"Is gamma here?"

"No but why is your sweater on backwards?" Severide asks with an amused expression. Aurora looks down at her backward sweater and then back up at her father with widening eyes and then shrugs; drawing a laugh from Casey. "Come on," Severide states as he scoops up his daughter and carries her back into her room. "Now hold still a sec," he sighs as she starts to laugh when he touches her ticklish sides.

Casey hears the laughter coming from the bedroom and feels his heart settle a little; his mind less agitated than earlier that same morning when he and Severide shared a few tense moments. But the up and down, hot and cold with their new makeshift family, tells him this is only the start. As he casts his gaze onto the fridge and looks at the new chore schedule and then lets his eyes trail down to the possible interview date for Aurora's preschool, his stomach tightens once more; the growing pains were just getting started.

"There, now she looks normal," Severide returns with Aurora in his grasp; his fingers poking her side and making her utter a squeal. About twenty minutes later, Pauline Shay arrives to collect her granddaughter, allowing the two men to get to Firehouse 51 right on time.

"How are things going?" Hermann asks Severide in wonder.

"Hell," Severide mutters under his breath as he looks at Hermann with a heavy frown. "Five?" He smirks as Hermann nods and smiles. "How do you do it?"

"Cindy's the…" Hermann starts and then quickly stops as Severide's smile quickly vanishes. "Hey Kelly…buddy I'm sorry," Hermann stammers with a sheepish expression as Severide shakes his head.

"No it's okay."

"Parenting is hard work. I do my best when I'm there but um…but I'm just glad you have lots of support."

"Still not the same as having Aurora's mother there is it?"

"No," Hermann answers in truth as he looks up with gently arched brows. "I hope this doesn't hurt too much but…I still miss Shay. I didn't want to screw up the day but I just had to say that. Also if you need any help with the um…you know the preschool stuff, you can always call Cindy and ask. She'd be happy to help. You know that."

"I do and um…yeah I appreciate it," Severide states with a tight lipped smile as he pushes past Hermann and heads for the locker room.

"How's he really doing?" Hermann asks Casey as Casey nears with a look of concern.

"Every moment at home seems to be something new and…stressful. Aurora needs him and I have this sneaking feeling that if she wasn't there that…he'd just up and do something stupid. I worry but I am still trying to find my own balance between friend and warden."

Hermann looks at Casey and smiles as he pats him on the back. "You're both doing your best for Aurora. That's what really counts right?"

"I need to help Kelly also," Casey reminds Hermann with a small sigh. "Just as friends you know?"

"Well I know you said that Shay's parents help a lot with the babysitting and Christie also so if you ever feel like Severide just needs a night to cut loose, drop her off at our mad-House and go for a few beers."

"Yeah?"

"What's one more?" Hermann snickers as Casey smiles and shrugs. "So I…"

But his conversation is quickly interrupted by the overhead paging system that instantly summons all to get their gear and get to their trucks. Casey watches Severide emerge from the locker rooms with a strained expression and feels his heart sink when he notices his friends watery eyes and hears him slightly sniffle as he walks past and knows that his conversation with Hermann upset his friend more than Severide would ever admit to Hermann. It wasn't Hermann's fault as he knows Hermann would never do anything intentionally to hurt Severide or offer cutting words as a joke. They all missed Shay, that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

On the ride to the scene, Severide catches Casey's glance in the large side mirror and frowns. He was sure that Casey had heard him sniffle as he walked past because he had tossed a sympathetic glance in his direction; but he'd never let on to anyone openly, in that moment, that Kelly Severide wasn't 100% going into a job and for that he was thankful. And he knows that much like himself, Casey was the same – work was the one constant that they could count on to pull them out of the emotional mire.

As soon as they reach the scene, the trucks stop, the doors open and all members of Firehouse 51 get their gear – ready to take orders and put them into action.

"Okay Hermann, Otis we need that roof vented!" Casey shouts as Severide calls out to his team. Seconds later, Casey rushes for the front door of the small townhouse; Severide and Capp in tow.

"Mouch, Cruz and I will take windows!"

"We're behind you!"

"Fire department call out!"

"Fire department!"

Casey breaks away from his team as he hurries into the small back bedroom to vent the windows; having heard that they need to open the back door to take out an injured male occupant. "Severide, back room's clear! What's on the other side?"

But when he gets only static in return, his panic starts to soar. So he instantly turns and hurries back through the smoky environment in search of his friend.

"Severide!" Casey shouts as he passes by Newhouse and Capp; his heart racing when he can't find the squad team leader with his team. His eyes squint into the darkened area before him and he finally sees Severide's outline when a bit of the smoke clears. "Hey!" Casey calls out as his gloved hand rests on Severide's shoulder. But when Severide doesn't turn back, Casey's eyes look through his mask to the sight before him.

"Oh damn," Casey groans as he tugs on Severide's arm.

"Casey!" Boden's voice is heard over their radio headpieces. "Are we all clear in there?"

"Yes sir! Severide and I are on our way out!"

Severide pulls his eyes away from the picture of the blond mother and her beautiful little girl; the family picture now warping from the intense heat. "AH DAMN THIS!" He shouts as he tries to push past Casey and escape the heated furnace on his own merit. But just as he reaches the front door he stops and turns to Casey with an angry gaze hidden by his soot stained mask. But he says nothing. Instead he shakes his head and lets his shoulders slump.

"I know," Casey nods as he gently prods his friend outside the front door and into the early morning fresh air. "Hey…you okay?" Casey asks softly as he and Severide head away from the smoking building; everyone out and letting engine 51 finish dousing the smoldering mass with water and form.

"Yeah…fine," Severide retorts with a small clip in his tone as he looks past the rest of the crew to the family being treated by the medics. He looks at the young blond haired mother holding her crying daughter close and grits his teeth. "To hell with this," he whispers under his breath before he pulls away from Casey and stomps toward the front of truck 3, gets in and slams the door shut; his view cast straight ahead.

"Give him a bit of air."

Casey turns to see Boden looking at him with a serious expression. "That mother reminded me of Shay also. But he's going to face situations like this from now on in one way or another. He needs to come to terms with that before he hurts himself or his team."

"I know," Casey nods as he keeps his eyes fixed on Severide's stony profile. "I just worry that he's not coming to terms with it in a good way. He just brushes everything aside as if it's no big deal or he's fine," Casey explains with a heavy sigh. "I worry."

"I worry too," Boden agrees before he lets Casey continue on his way to pack up his truck; Boden returning to the small group of investigators waiting for him to give them the all clear to go in and see what started the fire. Boden watches truck 3 and truck 81 slowly pull away and feels his tight brow – tighten further. Severide was hurting and Casey was lost as to know what to do on a daily basis and he didn't want to ever contemplate losing them both. But Casey was right if Severide didn't deal with his grief of losing Shay, his best friend and the mother of their daughter, there was a good chance he could lose them both for good and that was something he wasn't willing to contemplate. But how to help? That was the question now.

The rest of the day is spent tending to minor calls and when Casey goes to find Severide in his office to talk about their last accident scene, he finds his friend in a much better frame of mind.

"I didn't have to duck that time," Casey quips as Severide's expression softens into a genuine smile as he leans back in his chair and looks up at his friend and nods.

"And in my defense that cup was meant for Otis."

"At least it was plastic!" Casey adds with a small chuckle. "I know today started tough."

"That call this morning," Severide groans as he rubs his face and then looks at Casey with a strained frown. "Leslie…their daughter Anna…yeah it just um…it home hard. But I worked through it and it's better now. Thanks man. I know I can always count on you to have my back."

"Always," Casey whispers as he offers his friend a soft smile. "You know Hermann offered…well he offered his family," Casey pauses as his face crinkles into a small laugh before he continues, "to look after Aurora one night if we wanted to grab a beer…go to a game…just hang. Give the others a bit of a break."

"Really? That'd be great."

"So just think about it," Casey tells him as Severide's cell phone rings.

"Okay," Severide smiles as he watches Casey leave and then answers his phone.

"Mr. Severide?"

"Yes this is Kelly Severide. Who's this?"

"Donna Riley I'm a counsellor at Lakeshore preschool. I'm just calling to remind you of the time I have booked for you and Aurora and her mother to come and see us which is on Thursday at 3pm. Does that still work for you and your family? Are all three of you still available that day?"

Severide's expression literally droops and his heart sinks. He had forgotten all about Shay registering Aurora early into a nearby preschool; with the death, the funeral and the recent move he had forgotten to mark down on their activity calendar when the interview date was. He didn't realize Casey did but then he didn't look either.

"Mr. Severide, are you still there? I just need to know if that will work or if I'll need to reschedule to another convenient time? Do you want to talk to Aurora's mother and get back to me?"

A/N: Yeah lots of angst but does Severide really have as good a grip on his grief as he thinks? Is he just a storm simmering waiting to explode? And who will bear the brunt? Aurora caused them a scare today and Casey's struggling to find a balance. But how will Severide handle this latest test – facing a huge milestone in his daughter's life without her mother there? Hope you are all still liking this angsty story! Would love your thoughts so please do review before you go and thanks so much!

PS: Hope you're all still enjoying and caught up with the angsty bromance on Bonded by Fire that'll update next!