A/N: It's Cartman's turn.

nuff said B)

Enjoy~

I slowly furrow my brows and let out a deep breath before finally creaking my eyes open to my surroundings. I sit up in my bed and my sheet slides down and I blink at my bare stomach for a moment before grinning. I had almost forgotten of my meeting with Kyle last night. I kept him for much longer than usual, showing the little slut that he's my property and making sure he damn well didn't want to go running off to that poor bastard Kenny's bed.

I hop out of the bed and grab my red and gold chiton hanging beside it and pull it on, smoothing out the fine fabric and tying my sash before starting to head out the door. I push it open and am automatically greeted by an array of servants. I merely grunt and nod at them briefly before heading down my halls, keeping my eyes out for my redheaded pet.

"K-King Eric!" A timid voice calls to me. I stop and heave a heavy sigh, turning and coming face to face with my blonde counselor.

"Yes, Butters?"

"My king," he bows hastily before hurrying up beside me. "Y-you slept longer than usual, t-that's all."

I smirk and continue walking with him by my side. "Well I had a bit of a late night, you know," I shrug. "With Kahl and all that."

"O-oh," he nods briskly.

"Speaking of which," I state, "Just where is he, Butters?"

"I-I haven't seen him since l-last night, why, when he was headin' to your room," he replies. I frown slightly and turn back around. He stops and chases after me. "Where're we goin', Sir?"

"Kahl's room," I respond quietly.

"Y-ya think he's up to somethin'?"

"Have you seen Kenneh of Troy today either?" I demand.

He blinks a bit and shakes his head. "N-no, your majesty. Not ta' my knowledge."

I let this sink in for a moment before speeding down the hall and coming across the room I allowed Kenny to use. I throw open the door and peer inside with Butters, finding nothing.

I take some deep breaths and growl, "If I find that whore under that poor son of a bitch, I'll crush his skull in!" I tear out of the guest room and storm down the corridors with Butters on my tail.

"King E-Eric, whaddya think's goin' on?" he pleads. I ignore him and come up upon Kyle's bedroom door and knock on it a few times.

"Kahl?" I call, listening carefully. I hear silence. Nothing but silence. I push open the heavy door and burst into his room. It's bare. I look around at where his things usually are. His cloak is missing, but that seems to be it. I look at his bed and notice how tidy it is and raise my brow. I head back into the hall and see the servants surveying the area watching me fearfully. "Who here last made Kahl's bed?" I demand. Silence. "WELL?"

A older woman steps forward and raises her hand timidly. "I did, My Lord."

"When did you last make it?"

She gulps and lowers her eyes. "Last night, Sir. Before you and he were...together," she says slowly.

My eyes widen at this and I roughly grab her arm, yanking her forward. She cries out in pain but I ignore it, staring at her with furious eyes. "Where is he?" I demand, shaking her a bit.

She whimpers and I feel a hand on my own arm, looking to find Butters staring at me with wide eyes. "She's just a-a poor ol' woman, Eric," he states. "Don't be hurtin' her for makin' the beds."

I glower at him and growl slightly, loosening my grip on the elderly woman only a bit and staring down on her. "Answer me," I snarl.

She snivels and shakes, looking at me with glassy eyes. "I-I don't know, my king," she bites her lip. "The last I saw him was when he left the room to be with you."

I yell in frustration and throw her back. She lands on the ground in a crumpled heap and a young male servant helps her back onto her shaking old legs. I look around at my slaves, all staring at me with terrified eyes. "Well?" I demand. "Who here saw him after he was with me? Huh?" I scream. "Someone HAD to have seen him, correct?" I flicker my eyes to all their faces.

"M-Maybe he's outside," Butters suggests.

"He better not fucking be outside!" I yell. "He fucking KNOWS he's to stay here and in the dining hall if I request it!"

"W-well, maybe he's in the hall," he fixes quickly.

"He better hope to the gods he is," I growl, starting my way down towards the grand dining hall with heavy footsteps. "Then he'll just be beaten for eating when I specifically told him not to." We walk side by side with the servants quick to get out of my path and Butters clasping his hands together as we walk. Probably praying for Kyle. He's seen me punish him before and knows just what I'll do to him for not being where he's supposed to be.

We march our way down into the hall and servants scramble to open the door as I approach. Butters and I step through and sweep our eyes across the room, my anger rising greatly in my chest.

"H-has anyone seen K-Kyle?" Butters asks, I can hear the desperation tinted in his voice. "Anyone?" The servants shake their heads slowly, staring at me and biting their lips. I start shaking furiously grabbing a bowl of fruit beside me and wailing it across the room. Some of the workers duck out of the way before it slams into a pillar with a deafening clang and clatters noisily onto the floor.

I gnaw on my lip angrily before looking at Butters and his nervous expression. "Ike," I say lowly.

"W-what?" he blinks.

I turn on my heel and start heading towards the entrance to the palace with Butters scurrying behind me. "If Ike is in a good mood, it means that his slut of a brother left the castle," I growl. Kyle knows his brother is okay but not vice versa. Ike still thinks him to be dead, the poor oblivious idiot.

"W-well what if he's not happy?" Butters asks.

We head out the door and scan around the courtyard and I take a deep breath. "Then I'll tell Kahl as soon as I find him that he's the one responsible for Ike's broken leg. I'll keep that slut locked in his room for the rest of his miserable life!"

"E-Eric, don't you think you may be o-overreacting?"

"You!" I ignore him and scream towards a stablehand. The boy drops his brush in shock and stares at me before bowing.

"Y-yes, Sire?"

"Where is Ike?" I set my lip firmly.

He looks up at me with wide eyes. "H-he hasn't been here today, Sir."

This news slams into me and my shoulders drop in shock before I completely tense over. "He ran." I growl before striding furiously back to the palace.

"King Eric!" Butters runs back in with me. "Eric, i-it's okay!"

"He fucking ran, Butters!" I scream behind me.

"M-maybe he's just h-hiding," he suggests.

"Kahl doesn't fucking hide from me!" I rage on, storming to my throne room and pacing the floor, staring at the ground darkly. "He fucking knows not to hide from me!"

"E-Eric, please calm do-"

I grab the front of his tunic and rip him up a bit, glaring down on him. "My property just ran. off." I state evenly before throwing him back and resuming my pacing. "He ran off with a poor piece-of-shit prince!"

"Now Eric, yellin' ain't gonna help get him back," he tries to say calmly, but I can hear the trembling of his voice and I shake in the midst of my own fury.

"You're right," I say lowly. "We're going to go get that whore back."

"E-Eric...what are you thinking?" he asks with wide turquoise eyes.

"We're going to gather the troops," I say simply, starting to head out towards the training grounds.

I hear him gasp before he takes off after me. "Eric, please reconsider!" he pleads. "You and I can go to T-Troy and work on a renegotiation or someth-"

"Butters, this is not the time for talking!" I spit. "Spartan property was stolen and you just want to sit back and do nothing?"

"Well I-I don't think you should take this so p-personally..." he trails off slightly.

I grab his arm and keep him beside me as I continue walking. "Butters, you're my advisor, correct?"

He nods sharply, "Yes, Sir I-I am."

"Then tell me. Why would my advisor, the person who counsels the most powerful man in the world, tell me to just sit back and let enemies steal from me left and right? Tell me, why aren't you advising me to just let the diplomats we have here today to just take my gold, hm?"

"N-now Eric, I think you're b-bein' unreasonable," he stammers.

"UNREASONABLE?" I repeat. I come to a stop and pull him closer and bare my teeth. "I let that poor bitch into MY palace. He eats MY food. Then the person that I've taken care of for YEARS just runs off with him when he fucking knows he's MINE! And you think that I'M the one that's being unreasonable?"

"Callin' the troops t-to war?" he questions. "Sire...that's k-kinda extreme. He's just one person."

"He's. My. Property," I snarl, heading out towards the training grounds. The trainer catches sight of me and hurriedly tells his men to cease. They all come to a stop and bow as I approach them and scan the crowds.

"Eric, p-please..."

"Shut up," I mutter before looking back out towards the soldiers. "Spartans!" I call out to them. "Many of you have fought here for quite some time so you will instantly know of what I am about to speak of. And those of you who haven't will probably recognize the story," I pause and see them all staring at me intently. "Many of you are familiar with the story of Kyle of Sparta, correct?" I call out.

I watch as many of their faces drop and many breaths hitch. I have to smirk. I had all but forgotten that he was a forbidden topic for fear amongst the masses of Sparta.

"Well I'm here telling you that he is alive and well," I call out. "However...he is being held captive within the walls of the kingdom of Troy!" I receive quite a few confused glances and sigh. "Prince Kenneth of that land was here and he told me outright that they had taken Kahl back when he was young and vulnerable to attack!"

"E-Eric..." Butters bites his lip.

I ignore him and press onwards, "Are we just going to let this city take who was destined to lead our country? Are we going to let them tell us that they hold themselves higher than that of the strongest country in the land?"

"Your highness," our general bows briefly.

"Yes?"

"May I ask a question that I seem to see on the faces on all my men?"

I look out towards them and do see the confused glances so I nod, "Go ahead."

"Why on Earth would Trojans want to capture Prin-," he stops and clears his throat. "Um, Kyle?"

I sigh and shrug. "I couldn't tell you myself. But I think they wanted to make our empire weak with fear. They wanted to try to destroy us from the inside-out by using Kyle as bait! But they weren't expecting me to step in. They didn't think that someone with backbone would take charge and make us an unstoppable force! So they must've just kept him as a slave. Probably trying to torture information out of him day-by-day," I state dramatically. "The gods only know what they've done with him all these years!"

I watch as men exchange glances with angered expressions. "How soon could we be ready to take the Trojans?" I ask the general.

He looks taken aback before clearing his throat and looking up thoughtfully. "A week or so to gather up the troops and supplies," he shrugs. "But, Sire..."

"Yes, what?" I snap.

"How do we know he's even alive?"

I blink, "excuse me?"

"How are we to know for sure that Kyle is truly alive?"

"Will you be able to live with yourself if he is and we don't go after him?" I ask quietly. His shoulders slump and I nod sharply. "Besides, this prince was talking of us as though we were some low-lying village! We're Spartans, are we not? We must reclaim our command if kingdoms as futile as Troy are willing to claim themselves better than us!"

The soldiers let out a large cheer and I smile out at them before feeling a hand on my arm, looking to see Butters staring at me with pleading eyes. "My King," he starts, "Please think about this first."

"Think of what first, Counselor?" I question. "Think of letting Troy just takes what rightfully belongs here in the palace?" The soldiers all let out a long disapproving cry and Butters shies off in the midst of their jeers. I look back at them and nod. "Very good. We will set off in a week and a half. We'll take Kahl back and reclaim the honor of this castle by force!" I cry out. "Athena will guide us down the war trail and bring us back with our prizes close at hand!" The men cheer and I can't help but see the pathetic look that would be set on Kyle's pale face as I recapture him. I smile warmly at this vision before clearing my throat and nodding to them all. "Alright. You have your orders. Let us remind the world who it is that sits in the throes of absolute power!"

Myself and Butters turn, leaving the men behind in their cheers and heading back into the castle.

"My lord..." Butters starts slowly.

"Yes?" I sigh impatiently. "I have a war to prepare for, Butters."

"I know...but you lied to all those men...they're dying for your own decisions..." he says quietly.

I roll my eyes. "Butters, they're going to fight and die for Kahl's decisions. Let the knowledge that he placed so many lives on the line hang over his shoulders. His stupid morality will kick in and soon enough he'll be groveling at my feet for me to stop the fighting."

Butters is silent for a moment before he bites his lip. "What if he doesn't?"

"Then I'll kill him. Him and that fucking Kenneh. Or maybe I'll keep Kahl awhile longer and make him relearn just who it is he belongs to."

"Eric...a-as your counselor I feel like I should t-tell you that I think you're m-makin' a huge mistake."

"And as your king," I retort dryly, "I feel like I should remind you that you are here to try to steer me in the right direction but if I choose to keep on with my way then you are to remain silent and do as I command, do you understand?"

He bites his lip and nods, "Yes, Sire."

We head into my throne room and I slowly sit down atop my chair, linking my fingers together in contemplation. I have one week. They'll be a week and a few days ahead of us before we arrive on Troy. But I have a battalion coming in with me while they merely have themselves. I do hope that Kyle and Kenny enjoy the time they have together while they can.

They don't have very long.

A/N: Hahahaha, Butters is Nestor xD

Seriously, who else would Cartman choose as a councilman besides someone who isn't very firm and is easily swayed and threatened? xD

Yup, that's all for now. And NO there will be not Cutters or whatever in this story. Sorry if that disappoints you but...it's not happening.

Thanks for R&Ring!