Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.
Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.
Lumpy Space Prince—is a gender-bender of LSP. Lumpy Space Prince is identical to Lumpy Space Princess only with a mustache and a darker shade of colors. He is most likely 15 years old.
THE BEAST
Title Card
LSP screams as the coyotes close in on him, their razor teeth snarling and their eyes narrowed to slits.
Fionna, Cake and BMA were having one of their Lazy Days: a day when there was no adventuring to do and they just had to explore the Treehouse for something to do. Now, they were in outside to just relax and get their fresh air. Fionna had her back against the front door, with Cake's slightly smaller body on top of her head. BMA sat next to them as it played digital tunes through its speakers.
Fionna reached over and grabbed a wooden stick sitting in the grass. She pressed the tip of it against BMA's volume button. Fionna let a few beats of a new tune before she jumped in.
"We're fa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Fionna and Cake."
Cake jumped into it instantly.
"We'll ma-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-makey-you make."
They both began to harmonize together.
"We'll make you cry!
Yo mama lies!"
Fionna began to sing a solo.
"Cake likes pies
I'm so fly
We're gonna stick a stick into you're eye
And you'll say, 'Why, why, why, why, why?'"
Both:
"Why, why, why, why, why?"
Fionna picked Cake up from her head and stood up, walking away from the front door to face the forest.
"Why, why, why, why, why?"
Fionna faced the forest, took a very deep breath, and screamed as loud as she possibly could.
"PASTA!"
A large flock of birds erupted from the treetops in response. BMA clapped in applause.
"Miss! Miss Fionna!"
Fionna turned around with a frown as Cake stretched beside her. A Lumpy Space woman was flying right at them. She was small, with velvet Byzantium skin and wide black eyes. The crescent moon on her head marked her as a middle-classer. She held a straw basket in her hand with its contents covered in a towel. She stopped in front of the duo and held out a small computer module to them. "My misses, a message from their majesties."
A beam of bright green light lit up from the module. The beam split into a holographic square screen. The screen depicted the two conjoined faces of the queen and king of Lumpy Space. The queen looked like she had been crying, and they both held identical looks of worry.
"We can't find our son!" the king exclaimed.
"He's been gone for days!" added the queen. At this, she burst into tears. Her husband wrapped an arm around her awkwardly.
"Whoa, stop the water-works," Fionna waved her hands at the two. She smiled and put her hands on her hips. "We'll help you find your son. We'll find her using Cake's macho-moosles." Fionna leaned into Cake's ear and whispered, "Show off your moosles."
In response, Cake's furry chest exploded to the point that her muscles were strained against her skin. Fionna made a 'woo!' sound beside her.
"Thank you, girls," the queen sniffled with a smile. She turned to her husband at her side (literally.) "Don't worry, honey. These girls will find our son. No more tears." The queen turned back to the duo through the screen. "Please bring him these burritos we made. He loves them."
The messenger floated forward and held the basket out to the girls. Fionna took it and lifted up the towel just enough to see what was inside. Sure enough, she could see a large number of warm tortillas stuffed to overflowing with lobster meat, Jack cheese, mayonnaise, Cilantro leaves and seasoned beef, Cabo-San-Lucas style.
"Thank you, girls," the queen concluded.
A half-hour later, the human and the feline were walking through the jungle. Cake was holding the basket out in front of her, doing her best no to tilt it too much. Fionna took in the various but small landmarks they passed: the heart in the oak tree, the rope dangling from a tree branch, and then the chipped bowl in the tree roots.
"I know where Lumpy Space Prince is," Fionna told her sister, who was looking a bit unsure. "He's in the jungle eating sardines."
Cake nodded and smiled. "This is gonna be easy as...uh..." She hesitated into silence.
"Easy as child labor," Fionna offered.
"Uh...yeah..."
They finally came to the grassy slope and began to ease themselves down. Cake wound her free arm around Fionna's waist so she wouldn't fall. They finally slid down to the bottom with a stumble.
Shuffle...shuffle...snap...
Fionna and Cake stopped and turned their heads. They saw no forms in the foliage, big or small, but the crunching and snapping continued. Fionna exchanged a confused look with Cake which quickly turned to worry when the crunching turned to rustling.
And then a small hand brushed against Cake's paw.
Cake yelped and span around, with Fionna quickly doing the same. They looked down and saw the burrow at their feet, with the form of a creature inside. It was small, probably no bigger than the length from the sole of Fionna's foot to her calf. Its head was round and small and it had round black eyes against pale green skin. It wore a torn, patched blue shirt and a threadbare brown skirt. A tiny shoe was on her left foot. The other was in her hand. Her form was partially hidden by the small roots and dirt clods of the burrow.
When it realized that it had the girls' attention, the creature pulled itself out of the burrow. It looked up at the two with big eyes with tiny eyelashes. Fionna guessed it was a girl.
"Please help me," The creature whimpered in a feminine voice, confirming Fionna's suspicions.
"What's wrong?" asked Fionna.
The little woman held her shoe protectively. "A beast is terrorizing our village and has eaten all our crops!"
Fionna gave her and the tree crook quizzical looks. "Why were you up in that tree?"
"I thought I saw food...And I was hiding from the beast..." The little woman gave out a painful grump and stumbled. Fionna held out her hand for the woman to handle herself. Fionna knew she was having hunger pains, and judging by her state, pretty bad ones. The little woman whimpered to Fionna, "You must help."
As if to prove her starvation, the little woman bit off a big chunk of her shoe's toe and chewed vigorously. Cake turned to Fionna worriedly. "Whattya think?"
"I guess we can help her real quick," answered Fionna. "Then we can get back to LSP."
Cake nodded and knelt down to the little villager woman. "Where's your village?"
"Uh...I don't remember," the Villager muttered. "But Hayden remembers."
Something rustled in the bushes, and a moment later, another Villager fell out from its leaves. Her skin was minty compared to her friend's, but she had the same bald head and black eyes. Her clothes consisted of a tattered violet shirt and a choppy brown skirt. She had no shoes whatsoever. "Oh, hey! It's Hayden!"
Fionna and Cake followed the Villager as she shuffled over to her friend. "Hayden! Do you remember where the village is?"
Hayden picked herself up to her feet and smiled. "Yeah, I marked it on the map. But..."
"...You don't have the map?" Fionna guessed. Hayden's look confirmed her suspicion.
"Who has it?" asked Cake.
Splash
The four of them turned around. Another Villager was climbing out of the little stream behind them. This one seemed to be a man, with a pink shirt and purple pants. He smiled at the duo and took a piece of parchment from his shirt collar. The parchment was covered in little images of trees, rivers, and the little blot of the village. "I have it!"
Hayden waddled over, looked over the map, and frowned. "This is only half."
Of course, another Villager fell from the trees and took out the other half of the map. Hayden smiled at the two sisters. "Well, we can go now."
"Not yet," the third Villager spoke up. At that moment, a little Villager child the size of Fionna's thumb fell down in front of them from the tree branches. The Villagers "awwed" simultaneously.
Then another child the size of a golf ball fell down on top of the first.
And a third one the size of Fionna's thumbnail fell down on that one.
"OK, now we're ready," Hayden confirmed.
The first Villager woman seemed to notice the basket in Cake's paws just then. She stepped forward to look at it closer, and stood on the tips of her toes to try and look inside. "What's in the basket?"
"Burritoos." replied Cake.
"FOOD!"
The Villagers went nuts. They trampled over each others' bodies, pushing and pulling others out of their way. "Food! Food!" They nearly tackled Cake, and the feline held the basket as high as she possibly could.
"You can't eat this food!" Fionna yelled at them over their cries. "It's not ours to give!"
Fionna felt a pang of guilt when the Villagers sighed and moaned in disappointment. Even more so when the smallest child squeaked, "You guys are mean" at her.
"No, we'll help!" Fionna assured them. "We'll help you!
"By giving us food?"
Geez, these guys are hungry, Fionna thought to herself as she gave the spoken Villager an austere glare. "No, I've told you."
The Villagers scoffed and crossed their arms over their tiny chests.
"Now. Show us the way to your village."
The fourth Villager waddled up to Fionna. "Too tired from hunger." He held up his arms in a child-like manner. "Carry me?"
"OK," Fionna knelt down and gently lifted the small Villager into the crook of her arm.
"Me too!" Hayden shuffled over to Fionna and also lifted her arms. "Carry me too! I'm too tired to walk."
Fionna realized what she was going to have to do and knelt down, opening her free arms wide enough so that they knew it was an open invitation. Hayden and the two other villagers climbed onto her, Hayden on her left shoulder and the other two in the crook of her other arm and other shoulder. Fionna stood and turned to Cake. "Take the little ones."
Cake nodded, curling her right arm around the basket securely and forming the left one in the shape of a small bowl. The children scrambled into it and Cake turned to Fionna. "Ready?"
"Ready."
"The beast lives in the lighthouse. We're too scared to go near it."
Fionna looked up at the lighthouse that the first Villager was pointing at. It stretched sixty feet into the sky, wider at the base and skinnier at the top. It was painted a deep blue color, with bricks surrounding the circular windows. It was gargantuan compared to the rest of the town. Fionna felt like she was walking through a toy village. The largest house went up to her shoulders, the smallest barely reaching her calf. She could see the fearful eyes and dashing figures of the Villagers who had stayed behind.
"We got this," Fionna and Cake set the Villagers down carefully. They all ducked behind a nearby fallen carriage, holding the children close. "Wait here."
With that, the two of them marched up the road to the lighthouse. Fionna took out a rusty dagger from her backpack as Cake swelled up her paws into large fists. They had considered leaving the basket behind with the villagers, but immediately opted out of it, knowing they would eat the burritos for sure. Now the basket hung from the crook of Cake's elbow.
"Be alert," Fionna whispered to her sister once they came to the wooden door of the lighthouse. "Anything could pop out and rip our limbs off."
"Alert," Cake assured. She popped out her muscles in extra emphasis.
With that, they pushed open the door.
The thin shaft of light from the open door gave them a brief view of their surroundings. The room was full of wooden and cardboard boxes, some covered in dusty tarps. The walls were brick and the floors were cement. Fionna and Cake cautiously crept inside and caught sight of the tarp against the far wall. It was moving up and down from something big and lumpy sleeping underneath it. Fionna gripped her dagger and crept forward.
"Be careful, Fifi," warned Cake. She followed her sister a couple of feet behind.
Fionna tore off the tarp.
She expected a loud roar to rock her backwards. She expected razor sharp teeth and huge, angry eyes. She expected long, sharp claws and matted fur. She even expected the blinding pain of those razor sharp teeth clamping down into her skin.
...Instead, she was greeting with the shocked face of the Lumpy Space Prince himself. "Oh my glood!"
Fionna yelped and jumped back, her dagger clattering to the floor. Then, she sighed in relief with an awkward laugh. "It's you!"
"Fionna?! What the junk?!" LSP floated into the air and glared at his human friend. "You were trying to shank me!"
"It's yoooooooou~!" Cake sang. She stretched over and handed out the woven basket to the royal. "We brought this basket of burritos for you."
"Aw, man! Burritos!" LSP's lumpy face burst into a smile as he snatched the basket from Cake's paws. He tore the towel away and tossed it behind him.
"LSP, what the schmeck are you doin' here?" asked Cake.
Fionna gave her friend a teasing smile. "Are you in here makin' out with the beast?"
LSP was so consumed in his second burrito that it seemed for a moment that he didn't hear her. "Oh!" he swallowed down the last of the burrito. "No...I'm the beast."
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat."
LSP sighed and let his arm drop to his lumpy side. "'S a long story."
Immediately, the three of them pulled a few of the crates over for seats and sat down. Cake sat criss-cross-apple-sauce as Fionna sat with her legs crossed. LSP began his tale as he hovered above his own crate.
"It all started in Lumpy Space..."
At my lumpin' parents' house. I was eating lumpin' burritos.
LSP sat in the living room of his parents' mansion, seated in the lumpy purple recliner. His velvety skin was covered in little bits of beef, Cilantro leaves and tortilla wrap. His lips and teeth smacked loudly as he bit down on another wrap. On the lumpy stand next to the recliner, a half-full bottle of bubbly soda stood next to a wad of dirty napkins.
The king and queen approached their son with happy, smiling faces. It had been a good month ever since their son moved out. After another scolding, he had stormed out to live independently. In the jungle, no less. Now, they had invited him back for a still-hidden proposition.
"Son?"
"Yeah, Mom?" LSP asked before taking along chug of soda.
"How are the brrutos?" his Dad asked.
"They're lumpin' delicious."
"You know, you could enjoy your father's burritos every day," his mother spoke. "If you come back more often..."
"Nah," LSP responded, causing his parents to frown. He finished off the burrito in his hand and continued, "You can have them delivered to my trailer."
The king smiled down at his son kindly as he took his wife's hand. "Son, we want you to move back in."
LSP's eyes went wide for a long moment, his jaw stopping mid-chew and his soda bottle in his hand.
"WHAT?!"
LSP floated straight up from his seat, his burritos flying everywhere and his soda bottle shattering against the floor with a splash. His parents jumped back instinctively. "YOU INVITED ME HERE UNDER FALSE PRETENSES!"
As LSP began to float away, his parents followed quickly, pleading and begging. "Sweetie, wait!" "We didn't mean anything!" "We just want you to be happy!"
"I'm leaving!" LSP yelled over his shoulder. He slammed the lumpy door shut behind him as he stormed out of his home.
I stormed out and left Lumpy Space forever!
"Ohhh," Cake droned once LSP supposedly finished his story. "And then you found the lighthouse!"
"No, something else happened first," LSP muffled through a mouthful of burrito. "Keep listening. Before the lighthouse, I was in the jungle."
I was cold and hungry...
LSP slowly floated through the damp, dark jungle. He jumped at the slightest sound, the crunch of a twig or the sound of a leaf brushing against a blade of grass. The shadows seemed to dance and the plants looked like they had minds of their owns. Occasional droplets of water hit his velvety skin, chilling him to the lumpin' bone. The rumble of his own stomach almost deafened him. Fatigue was taking him over, the hunger pains making him grunt and squirm.
He had read once in a Teddy Raoste book that some plants' leaves provide nutrient and vitamins if you ate it. One plants' leaves were particularly good, not only in nutrient and vitamin E but it also tasted good. The leaves of the plant was round, dark green in color, and had bright neon veins speckled with white.
Just like that one, LSP thought to himself when his eyes landed on the thorny planet a few feet away. He almost got whiplash flying over to it. He tore off one of the leaves and shoved it into his mouth.
Wrong plant.
Definitely wrong plant.
LSP vomited the horrible leaf up in a splash of color. He shivered to himself, wiping the remnants from his mouth, although nothing could be done for the taste.
Rrrrrurrrmmmble...
"Oh, glod," LSP groaned once the icy droplets of rain came pouring down. He had no jacket, no blanket, no umbrella, no nothin' to protect him from the stupid precipitation. His skin was soaked in a matter of seconds.
Maybe I can make a shelter out of some sticks or something', LSP thought. As quick as he could, he gathered as many long sticks and twigs as fast as he could and began to form them together into a sort of crude teepee. He carefully wedged himself into it and tried to make the best of it. Well, he had shelter. And it kept most of the rain away. He didn't feel hungry after eating that stupid leaf, but his mouth was sticky and slick with that disgusting taste. Maybe he could collect water in the morning?
The teepee caved in on him. LSP heaved himself onto his back pathetically. The icy pellets of rain soaked through his skins into the cores of his bones.
"It's not fair..." he whispered to himself. He was tired. So tired. So exhausted. "It's not fair..."
He fainted then.
He laid there, unconcious, the water puddling under his body and his breaths becoming quieter and quieter. His body temperature was dropping by the second. About thirty feet away, twenty feet into the air, a single gray cayote appeared at the dge of a rocky cliff. It saw the sight of the odd purple teenager below and howled loudly. Two other cayotes, one gray and one brown, immediately appeared. The first coyote lead them down the cliff down to LSP's fallen body. They sniffed at his body, whining in confusion at his odd Lumpy-Space smell.
A low whine interrupted their commotion. The Omega of the pack approached, towering over the others by ten feet with fur the color of the midnight sky. He didn't even stop to sniff the lumpy teenager in the grass. He just gingerly picked him up in his jaws and carried him away. The others follows suit.
I was rescued by a family of coyotes...
LSP groaned in his awakening sleep. How long had he been asleep, anyway? The grass was so soft and dry now. Very soft and dry. In fact, it didn't even feel like grass anymore. It was more like fur. It smelled different, too. Not like the dewey, musty smell of the jungle, this smell was animal-like with a sort of hint of pine. When he opened his eyes, he screamed.
The coyotes paid the sudden movement and sound no mind as they stood in their circle around them. The Omega stood over her, the equally as huge Alpha now at her side.
The father coyote was all like,
"We must take care of him as if he were our own."
And then the mom was like,
"We must take care of him because he's awesome now and he's probably going to be totally more awesome when he grows up."
"Oh, so they were talking coyotes?" asked a very confused but interested Fionna.
"No, they were normal coyotes. I could tell what they were thinking from their body language. Stop interrupting! Back to the story. Finally, I found a home there..."
1 Day After LSP's Arrival
LSP laughed uncontrollably as the coyotes licked and nibbled at his skin. He had just met them, and they were already treating him like one of their own.
I could act like myself...
Once the coyotes were done licking and nibbling him, they had invited LSP for a sprint through the country, maybe find a rabbit or two. Their search ended up being futile, but it was nice to see where he would be saying. He couldn't count how many acres they had to hunt in, and the land was packed full of burrows and nests where future meals would live. The coyotes yipped and yapped and he did, too.
They took care of me, man...
That evening, as LSP was waiting for the coyotes to return from hunting, he saw their dark-colored forms approaching from the bottom of the hill. They had snowy white lumps in their mouths and LSP realized on closer inspection that they had found a rabbit burrow somewhere. He had expected them to bring the rabbits into the cave, but to his surprise, they approached him and dropped the rabbits in front of him.
When midnight came, the coyotes began to file out of the cave and gestured with their muzzles for him to follow. He did so, and after a few minutes of wandering through the darkness of the jungle, they came to the edge of the cliff where they had found him that morning. The coyotes reeled their heads back and howled up at the bright full moon above. LSP didn't even hesitate for a beat before he did so as well.
LSP spent a week with those coyotes. The ever-changing weather brought forth new meals every day. Heavy rains made the rivers overflow and made catching fish easier. Sunny weather beckoned squirrels and rabbits out of their homes. When animals were scarce, they went deep into the jungle to collect apples and vegetables. LSP had never been happier.
But then the drama-crud started...
It had been eleven days since LSP joined the pack. He had become particularly close friends with Stephan and Stu, the two youngest males of the pack, and he commonly hung out with them between hunting rounds, as well as eating with them and huddling together with them when it was time to sleep. Now, LSP had just excused himself from their lounge-time to see if there was any deer meet left over.
When he walked in their, he wished he hadn't. Jesse was licking at the fur on Markay's back, which translated to "making out" to LSP. Everyone in the pack knew that Jesse was Toni's steady boyfriend of several months.
LSP almost immediately flew outside back to Stephan and Stu. Stephan had curled together into a sleeping position and Stu was just panting through his mouth. "Stephan? Stu? I gotta tell you guys something."
Stephan snorted. Stu just panted.
"Yeah, I trust you guys. Listen," LSP floated closer for extra caution. "I just saw Jesse making out with Markay behind Toni's back. I mean, I know I shouldn't care, but Toni's a great gal and I don't want to see her getting hurt, y'know?"
Snort. Pant.
"Stephan, c'mon man, are you even listening? I don't want Toni seeing them together, and she'll be back from hunting any second no-"
Almost immediately, a low, steady howl droned from the hillside. LSP jumped as he, Stephan, and Stu turned around. Two of the other coyotes in the pack were climbing up the hillside, limp raccoons dangling from their jaws. A moment later, the rest of the hunting pack appeared up the hill lugging a bulky cow carcass with them. LSP could see Toni in the pack, pulling on the cow's thigh.
"Hey, Toni!" LSP yelled. The female coyote grunted in greeting.
LSP leaned down closer to Stephan and Stu. "What should we-"
Before he could finish, Stephan and Stu had turned and began heading for the cave where the cow had been dragged. LSP hesitated before following. By the time he had arrived, the entire pack was gobbling down on the carcass like it was no tomorrow. The constant sound of meat tearing and lips smacking had grown common to him. Once one of the male coyotes (who's name LSP forgot) moved away, apparently not having much of an appetite today, LSP moved forward to stand between Stephan and Stu. "Seriously, guys. Should we tell Toni?"
Neither Stephan nor Stu responded. They were too absorbed in filling their stomachs with the carcass meat. LSP grunted in frustration.
A few minutes later, when the carcass was nothing more than fur and bones, the coyotes scattered around the cave and laid down for their afternoon naps. Some who weren't tired gnawed on leftover bones. LSP watched Stephan and Stu curl up to the left wall of the cave, Stu still munching on a rib. "Fine! Guess I'll just wait for my bros to figure something out."
He stood there. And stood there. Aaaaand stood there.
He couldn't take it anymore. His hands curled into fists at his sides as he yelled, "TONI! JESSE'S CHEATING ON YOU!"
The reaction was almost instant. One by one, the coyotes of the pack lifted up their heads, chuffing and growling as they unwound themselves and dropped their bones. LSP soon found himself surrounded by them. "I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. I-I know it's none of my business, but-"
Stephan howled loudly, cutting LSP off. LSP glared at his friend. "Because I think Toni has the right to know, Stephan!"
Another coyote chuffed. LSP turned to face him. "No way, Randy! I don't like Toni!"
LSP felt something wet at his side. He looked down to see Jesse himself nibbling at his hip. LSP immediately slapped the male coyote across his muzzle. "KNOCK IT OFF, JESSE!"
LSP's scream of anger immediately turned to one of fear. All at once, all members of the pack, even Stephan and Stu, pounced on him. They clawed and bit at his lumpy skin, leaves angry read scratches and marks everywhere. They were pulling him down and he couldn't float away. He clawed at the dirt of the cave and desperately tried to crawl away. He managed to break free after moments of desperation.
He flew out of that cave as fast as he could. The afternoon sun hit his wounds and made them sting. He could already hear the coyotes following him, growling and snarling. They came closer and closer to him, to where he could see them from the corner of his eye.
That's when he slipped. Well, not really slipped, but the earth disappeared beneath his gravity field and he was soon tumbling down a slope. The former night's rain had made the dirt slick and muddy. It stained his skin and filled his mouth and eyes. Twigs snapped from their roots and embedded themselves in his limbs. He finally managed to land in a puddle of dirty water about twenty feet below.
"Glob, man," he choked out as he spat up the mud in his mouth. He reluctantly looked up to the top of the cliff again. The coyotes howled down at him in an obvious manner that said "Get outta here!"
So, LSP did. For hours and hours, he floated through the thick, unforgiving jungle. His hunger was killing him, and his dehydration didn't help. The mud was getting dry, creating an uncomfortable scratchy coat on his skin. He was so tired and exhausted but he didn't dare stop for a second for fear that the coyotes were still following him.
Per chance, I came upon a tribe of villagers...
The male Villager plucked off another one of the small baby tomatoes and set it on top of the now-full basket. He whistled, and another Villager approached and handed him an empty basket in exchange for the full one. He hauled the basket into the horseless carriage and began pulling it forward. He only made if twenty feet before he heard a rustle in the bushes.
He stopped, and held his breath.
The bushes rustled again.
He remained silent.
The bushes rustled again.
A cold sweat ran down his temple.
The bushes rustled again.
And then, a small toad hopped out of the bushes and jumped across his path.
The Villager sighed in relief and picked up the carriage once more.
"Aeuhh..."
The Villager screamed at the sight of the beast in front of him. It was floating above the very ground, its form nothing but a lumpy mass. Its purple fur was stained with drying mud and broken twigs. It reached out to him, groaning in hunger.
"BEAST!" The Villager cried. He dropped the carriage and ran as fast as he could down the path.
LSP glared after him. "I'm not a beast, ya loon!" he yelled after him with a shaking fist. "I'm a-"
That's when he saw the fallen basket of tomatoes in the grass. Small tomatoes, but bright in color and round and plump. He could just imagine biting into one.
So that's what he did. "I'm so hungry," he moaned as he stuffed his mouth with several of the small tomatoes. They were SO good. Too good. He had to have more. He at three more, then five, then six.
When he looked up, he saw the crop garden in the distance. They had just been tended to. Even from seventy feet away, he could see the water beaded on the crops' leaves. their colors bright and translucent. He dashed forward as fast as he could until he was standing in the middle of the garden. He grabbed two handfuls of spinach, not bothering to think about parasites or pesticides, and stuffed them into his mouth, chucking the dirty roots away.
"BEAST!"
LSP looked up just in time to see another Villager running away, disappearing over the hill he had been standing on. He had been lugging a carriage full of large, plump, juicy peaches that practically screamed at him to come closer. He chucked the last bit of dirty roots over his shoulder and flew to the carriage. He picked up the entire thing by its handles (not very hard, considering its toy-like size) and poured the peaches down his throat. Most of them hit his face and body before falling to the grass, but he simply swallowed the ones in his mouth and picked them up.
He saw the village, then. Only a hundred yards away. He tried to count the houses. One, seven, twelve, twenty-one, and then he just stopped. So many houses, so many farmers, so many crops of FOOD. He couldn't resist himself. He descended down the hill and approached the village.
He almost didn't acknowledge the fact that every single Villager in the street screamed at the sight of him and ran into their homes. He flew to the window of the first house and looked inside. His mouth instantly began watering. A big, fat ham was smack in the middle of the small wooden table. He lifted the ham up by its bone and tore off a large chunk of it with his teeth.
"Anyway, I found this lighthouse after that," LSP concluded. He dug back into his basket for another burrito, adding, "Whenever I get hungry, I dress myself up like the beast and eat all their food."
"LSP!"
"What?"
"You're stealing!" Fionna cried with a fling of her arms.
Cake gave a single nod beside her. "From adorable little farmers."
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? STARVE AWAY IN HERE?!" LSP yelled in a rage. He stood up from his seat quickly, the basket in his lap falling to the floor. The burritos rolled out onto the cement.
Fionna and Cake paused for a moment before kneeling down and picking up the fallen pieces of food, putting them back in the basket, and handing it back to their friend.
LSP took a deep breath and took the basket with a nod. "Thanks." He looked into the basket's contents and sighed. He was obviously remembered the heated argument he had had with his parents.
"LSP," Fionna began cautiously. "If you wanna feel better, you should apologize to the farmers and make amends."
"Really?"
"Yeah, it'll work," agreed Cake.
LSP sighed before nodding.
LSP cautiously poked his head out of the crack in the door, checking for any traps that might have been awaiting him. Once he saw that the coast was clear, he slowly floated through the door with his basket in hand and made his way to the village.
Needless to say, his presence did not go unnoticed. At once, a young male cried, "BEAST!" Several other Villagers mimicked this cry almost exactly. Even from far away in the crop fields, LSP could hear the word being yelled in fear.
"No, wait!" he tried to insist, but the cries of terror never stopped. The women of the village picked up their children and hurried inside to hide. Other women and men grabbed any weapons within reach and ran at LSP, trembling in fear and anger.
"I'M NOT A BEAST!" LSP yelled just as Fionna and Cake dashed up between the prince and the angry mob. LSP saw the stern look Fionna was throwing at him and took a deep breath. "I was just pretending to be a beast." Silence. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pretended to be a beast. And I'm sorry I scared you guys. And I'm sorry you're starving because I ate all of your food. Even though you're all still pretty fat and I probably helped you lose some weight. And now your peasant wives probably think you're hotter, so that's another favor."
The walla of angry exclamations was instant. Women threw their hands into the air, exclaiming, "What did she call us?" The men raised their weapons in anger. "Did you just call us fat?!" Others just looked down at their round bellies with crestfallen faces.
"Don't get your scraps in a twist, I'm just being honest!" scoffed LSP.
"LSP!"
"What?"
LSP turned around to see yet another of Fionna's angry-stern faces. He shrugged, and repeated, "What?"
"That apology was terrible!" Fionna's hands flew up to the sides of her head in her anger.
LSP didn't answer. Slowly, he lifted another burrito from the basket and stuffed it into his mouth in one bite.
"Look!" a pitchfork-yielding Villager pointed a furious finger at LSP. "The beast eats whilst it apologizes!"
"Let's kill him!" a female Villager cried. An uproar of agreement followed, and sharp weapons stabbed at the air above the crowd.
The mob charged forward with their weapons held high. LSP let out a yelp before taking off like a bullet for the woods. The Villagers, though small, followed with the speed of a school of piranhas. Fionna and Cake exchanged a very brief look of alarm before they chased after the group.
The chase went on for a good ten minutes. LSP ran in front, gasping in fear and fatigue as he flew over all obstacles in his path. He held onto the basket like a life preserver. The Villager-mob ran in the middle, roaring and yelling out exclamations of fury to the 'beast,' making a swipe at him whenever he ventured too close to them. Fionna and Cake ran seven feet behind the mob, their pleads of them to stop and wait futile.
LSP looked ahead of him, and his stomach clenched horribly. A humongous, flat-walled cliff was right in front of him. It towered over him by seventy feet, casting a dark shadow over his entire being. He tried to force himself to float along the cliff's wall, but the gravity field around him wouldn't allow it in the slightest. He span around in fright, seeing nothing but the furious mob charging forward like a crowd of death.
"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"
To LSP's surprise, the Villagers actually stopped. They must have had a lot of stamina in their tiny bodies, because not a single one of them panted a breath. "We have to!" a female Villager in the front cried.
Fionna and Cake finally caught up with the group. Cake knelt beside the mob as Fionna leaned down, panting out, "You don't have to."
"Yeah," Cake agreed with a deep breath. "You could just let him go."
"If we let him go, he'll keep eating our food!" a male Villager cried with a raise of his hands. "And we'll starve to death!"
LSP, frustrated and angered beyond comprehension, just yelled, "Why don't you just get your parents to get you more food?!"
The Villagers gave him several disbelieving gawks that quickly turned to angered annoyance. "WE ARE PARENTS!" a female cried. Fionna and Cake didn't know where they came from, but several tiny Villager children waddled up to their parents, hiding behind them in protection. "THE FOOD YOU ATE WAS FOR OUR CHILDREN!"
LSP just stared down at the Villager and their children for several, long, silent moments. "You guys are parents?" he said in disbelief. In barely a whisper, he remarked, "Just like my parents..." and looked down at the basket of burritos in his hands.
As he stared down at the wrapped tortillas (there were about a dozen now), he saw the small slip of paper poking out from the tossed-aside towel. He picked it up and read it to himself.
Made with love!
~Mom and Dad
LSP had never really been one to cry. There have been rumors saying that he sat through a marathon of Brobdingnagian, The Journal, and Marcy & Me with his eyes not watering for a split second. He even endured enough pain to make a grown man cry and he had just scoffed. But now, as he stared down at the lumpy handwriting of his parents, his eyes began to tear up.
Fionna saw the tears in her friends' glittering black eyes and asked, cautiously, "LSP, are you OK?"
LSP furiously swiped away the tears, almost scratching his eyeballs. "I'm fine, Fionna." He cautiously, slowly floated to the Villagers and handed them the basket. "Here. I want you to have these burritos."
"Burritos?" a male questioned, but he was already digging into the basket along with the other Villagers. One by one, burritos were passed around to the children and their parents. They gobbled them up like animals.
"They're really good," LSP commented. The Villagers nodded and hummed in agreement. "My parents made them."
"Good job, LSP," Fionna gave her friend a light slap on the back. Cake gave the prince a thumbs-up.
"I SAVED THE VILLAGE!" LSP whooped with a fist pumping the air.
Fionna frowned. "That's not really-"
"-and that's how I saved the village!" LSP finished, and stuffed the last bite of burrito into his mouth like an exclamation point. He, his parents, and the two heroines were now standing just outside the Lumpy Space Royal Mansion. Fionna's smile was fixed on her face and Cake was very interested in seeing how many shapes she could make with her paws.
But the king and queen never looked happier. After a long moment of cheerful applause, the queen smiled and sighed, "Well, we're just glad you're home."
As if he had to maintain his careless attitude, LSP just grunted, "Whatever."
"And thank you both, Fionna and Cake," the queen added with a wide smile at the two girls.
"No problem," Fionna smiled in return.
Cake chuckled. "Yeah, we didn't really do that much."
TRIVIA
This is the first episode that mainly focuses on Lumpy Space Prince.
Despite the fact that what Lumpy Space Prince ate was tree bark, he threw up in various colors which looked similar to a rainbow.