A/N: /awkwardly shuffles feet. I'm sorry it took so long for this. Haven't read Iliad since I was a senior in high school and life just got crazy and I threw out my notes for this story. So we're winging it here. May be longer than I planned, may be shorter I have no goddamn idea.

Well here's Gregory for you, who for the purpose of this story is representing Athena because why the fuck not. Except he's not just a god...he's kinda like Damien idk you'll see pft.

Enjoy~

I can't help but feel a string of sympathy for the poor men shuffling along the deck of the ship below me. I sigh, listening as that brutish king continues to fill the arid, salty air with his constant bellowing. My feet swing from the top of my perch on the mast, eyeing each servant and soldier and feeling pity swelling in my chest. These poor men. They have no idea just what it is that they're going to be in for. However, my excitement is rising at an increasingly furious pace. They'll land in a few short weeks and the war will finally commence. I can't say that I'm not looking forward to whatever the tide may throw at them.

"ZAT WON'T WORK!" I hear their strategist shouting at the king.

"Why the fuck not?!" he screams back.

I chuckle, leaning back and watching the two of them with a high degree of curiosity. These past few weeks watching them has been nothing but a treat. All they do is bicker about what the right path is for taking down the Trojans. Far be it from me to care how they do it, so long as they do. I can't help but shudder at the thought, a bitter taste coating my palate at the word: Trojans. I hate them, I always have. They have such little regard for the glory of war, for the pure beauty in knowledge. All they care about is taking care of their neighbors, finding strength in their community and working together to overcome problems through peace and contemplation.

Some would call that 'sweet' or 'noble'. I call it a waste of space and time.

The two men below me continue their squabbling as Eric's weak little blonde advisor tries desperately to calm him down. I can't help but roll my eyes. One would think he would have learned by now that nothing is going to stop them. Nothing but me at least.

I can't help but smirk, slinking down on the mast and floating down the pole, landing behind the king. I cross my arms and raise my brow amusedly as Christophe stumbles back in surprise at my arrival. Eric follows his gaze and recoils a bit.

"Gregory? W-what are you doing here?"

I shrug, walking up to their crate and staring down at their various schematics, nodding approvingly. "You are certainly doing your research for this war, King Eric," I look up into his worried brown eyes. "I only hope that they fare you well in this battle."

He cocks a semi-smile and nods, "I take it that we have you on our side, then?"

I nod subtly, "That you do, so long as you do not cross me along the way. However, should that be the case, I am more than content with standing along being a neutral party. I'd rather be on no one's side than the Trojans' any day," I roll my eyes.

"Oh?" Christophe scoffs at me. "And why iz zat?"

"Goody-goody types just don't do it for me," I smile.

"Gregory," Eric cuts in and I stare back at him. "You know better than anyone what we'll be facing in this. Maybe even the outcome," he glowers. "What will happen?"

I chuckle, hopping over and sitting on the ledge of the boat, crossing my arms and staring at my small audience amusedly. "Well I can tell you right now that Troy isn't the only one with their army that'll be there, so your plans are quite a bit off for your assault."

Christophe stiffens, looking around at some of the soldiers carrying out their duties, gazing back and seeing their second ship full of them in the distance. "We 'ave two 'undred and fifty men," he says lowly. "We should 'ave plenty of force for such a weak city."

"Hm," I muse and nod a bit. "Well yes and no. They will outnumber you vastly, but your troops are also much more prepared in means of combat."

"H-how vastly are you talkin'?" Butters stammers, his blue eyes shining in pure terror. I don't know how the weakling is a part of the Spartan line, but I suppose there will always be exceptions to every rule.

I tongue over my teeth and focus on Christophe and Eric. "Troy itself has roughly two hundred soldiers of its own on the island, however, the kings of Ithaca and Opus will be on their side. Ithaca has brought along only a mere 30 men, but Opus has nearly one hundred of their own."

"Well we still have a strong offense," Eric says determinedly. "No one can defeat Sparta when it comes to brute strength!"

"Ah, yes, but you did not account for something quite massive that lies in your wake," I chuckle. "Troy is a city built inside a massive wall. Their defensive is stronger than your offensive could ever hope to be. Unless you find a way to get through that wall, which I guarantee will be a stronghold, you have little to no hope of taking the city."

They're all silent for a moment before a quiet 'sheet' breaks from Christophe as he looks at his plans angrily.

"Tell me, Eric," I continue, looking at the large man who has a look of anger and worry about his chubby face. "Is this Kyle really worth the effort?"

His face drops into a furious scowl at the name. "He's. My. Property," he hisses, out of earshot of the men scurrying around the deck. "I don't care if we have to wipe out that entire island, I will get that whore back."

"What a stupid zhing to do," Tophe scoffs and shakes his head. "Men dying just so you can rape a boy to your liking. Not very 'onorable if you ask me."

"Well nobody asked you!" he shoots back furiously. "Your job is to fucking win this war for me, so I suggest you shut your fucking mouth and figure out just how to do it!"

Tophe glowers at him, his dark brown eyes clashing against the amber of Eric's with a heavy fury. I can't help but feel excitement flutter in my stomach. If they're this vicious against each other, they can only be even worse in combat. This war is going to be everything I've been hoping for.

Eric slowly turns back to me, heaving a heavy breath, "Do you know the outcome of the battle, Gregory? Will I get that slut back where he belongs?"

I tongue over my lips, glancing out towards the ocean in the direction of Troy. "I don't know who will win. I haven't the slightest idea of where the boy will end up," I glance back at his defeated face. "However, I can tell you this much about Kyle..." he perks up and I snort a bit. "He's going to suffer. By whose hand, I cannot say, but I know that he won't be coming out of this war unscathed."

A grin spreads across his flabby face and I can't help but return the expression. There's victory dancing in his eyes. That clear expression of bloodlust that I can't help but adore is adamantly prominent in his vicious smile. "Good," he bites his lip slightly. "That little bitch is going to pay for running, I can tell you that much."

Tophe looks up from his plans, shaking his head at Eric before turning towards me. "You are -'ow you say- a god, oui?"

"Indeed," I grin.

"Zen just 'ow can we do zis?" he frowned. "Why can't you just turn ze tide for us?"

I shrug, "Well, to be quite honest with you, even if I could, I wouldn't. I far enjoy seeing you mortals and your petty struggles too much to feel inclined to intervene. However, I can do little things to help you," I smirk. "For one thing, telling you just what you're up against."

"And we thank you for t-that," Butters interjects quickly.

I snort a bit and shake my head, "Oh but my dears, I haven't told you the worst threat as of yet."

The three of them look at each other briefly and then back to myself. Eric frowns, "What? What's the worst threat?"

"A man by the name of Craig," I chuckle. "He's a demi-god, the strongest man in the world in fact," I lean back against a rope beside me casually. "And he's on the side of the Trojans."

Christophe scoffs and rolls his eyes, "Ze strongest man in ze world? Please."

"Remember who I am, Christophe," I warn. "I must say I'm rather disappointed that he's with the Trojans," I sigh. "He's an excellent warrior, he would have helped your team immensely."

Cartman blinks before his fists clench at his sides and his teeth grit down on top of one another. "How? How do we beat this Craig?"

"He has a weakness, though it hasn't been discovered yet," I wink. "We'll find it soon enough, I promise. I'll keep my eye out for you."

"Thank you, Gregory," he nods at me. "It's good to know that we have a god in our favor for this war."

I laugh a bit at his demeanor and shake my head, "Don't feel yourself so special. The Trojans have their own that are on their side, so be wary. You only have about two weeks before you hit their shores, so you best be preparing."

"What ze hell do you zhink we've been doing?" Tophe scowls.

I smirk at him. I have to admire that even in the face of a god, he finds me nothing more than a nuisance. Most people I would merely smite down for such behavior, but I know there's more to this man than meets the eye. I can more than tell that if anyone is going to make the Trojan's bow at Eric's feet, it's him. "Well keep up the good work then," I nod. "I'll be keeping in touch."

They watch me as I glide back onto the mast and stare out at the ocean. I jerk a bit in shock as my owl, Yardale, perches on my right shoulder. "And just where have you been?" I smirk at him. He stares at me with his huge auburn eyes and I furrow my brow a bit. What he's seen seeps down into my soul and I can feel a brutal weight crushing it all into my chest. I look downwards, seeing the three others back to discussing battle strategies and I can't help but shake my head. Things are about to get messy, and the horrid truth of the matter is that I'm not sure who between the two clans is going to walk out of this alive, if anyone at all.

I can't help but sigh, reaching up and petting Yardale's head softly as we continue to cut through the gentle current towards our target. If what my trusty companion saw was correct, then the Spartans could be in much more danger than even I was aware. It's worrisome, even when I stand among such a large crowd of those who were trained for blood, trained to stop at nothing to get what they are after.

Regardless of how I want to see the battle, no matter how much my curiosity is piqued by the proposition of war laid out between the lands, I can't help but hear that stupid voice of reason in my head. The one that Yardale always makes sure that shines through for me. This war is foolish on all fronts, and regardless of what either party has to say in it all, it may just not be worth it.

A/N: Don't you love how I use my god characters for exposition? pft

Also I am totally happy with what I named Gregory's owl pfffff. I'm proud of me.

Hopefully I can get an actual jump back on this T_T I'll do my damnedest I swear!

Thanks for R&Ring!