Title: Plan B
Chapter 16 – The Darkness Within

Severide's mind swirls with panic as he hits redial on his phone over and over; his rate nearing critical a small voice inside his mind hears a stern voice telling him that his daughter and best friend were killed in a horrific car accident.

"No no no…pick up the damn phone!" Severide growls as his fist comes down on the horn; blaring it loudly despite the fact he knows there's nowhere to go. He pushes redial again as he tries to maneuver through to the right lane so he can park his car and continue the rest of the short distance on foot.

Severide bolts from his car and races toward the flashing lights. As he nears and over the nearing sirens he can hear crying, shouting, cursing and loud talking.

"Matt!" Severide calls out as he nears the site of the accident scene. But just before he can tell himself that it's vehicles he doesn't recognize, his spies Casey's truck and his heart stops short. "Oh God no…" he whispers as his throat seizes. "Matt!"

"Hey you can't…"

"Lieutenant Kelly Severide! CFD!" Severide barks at the officer that tries to stop him from entering the active accident scene. "No…" he states with a desperate cry as he tries to get closer to Casey's truck. "Matt!" It doesn't look like the truck is the middle of the accident scene as the other two cars suffered far more damage but there was enough to send him into a justified panic.

The ringing in Casey's ears subsides long enough for him to look up and squint into the colorful glow as a familiar face approaches with a strained expression.

"Matt! Aurora!"

"Kelly," Casey manages as he tries to push himself out of his dented truck. "Help…us…door's…stuck…"

"Aurora!" Severide calls out as he reaches the truck and looks at the buckling door and knows he won't be able to open it without help. "Where are you hurt?" He asks Casey before his head darts into the truck between Casey and the door frame looking at his still daughter. "Aurora!"

"Kelly…help me…out."

"Aurora!"

"Kelly…"

"WE NEED HELP OVER HERE! MY DAUGHTER!" Severide shouts as he gestures to two firefighters to bring their gear.

"Matt…" Severide starts before he hears a soft whimper coming from the backseat and instantly offers a silent prayer of thanks that his daughter is alive. "Hurry!"

Casey's lips cry out with pain as the door is finally pried open and he's helped out. "My…arm," he gestures to his left arm; Severide able to surmise that Casey turned the truck and in effect the left side of his body in order to keep his daughter from harm.

Knowing that Casey is in good hands, he quickly grabs the large crowbar and starts to pry open the small back jump-seat door in an attempt to free his daughter. "Aurora! Baby it's me! Can you hear me?"

"Sir we need…"

"You have to help my daughter!" Severide pleads, refusing to move.

"Sir we need to get her out. Please move."

"Kelly…"

Severide turns back and locks eyes with Casey as he sits on the stretcher as a medic attends to his arm and the cut on the left side of his forehead. "She has to be okay," he states in misery as Casey slowly nods. "What…happened?"

"Guy in the black truck ran the red light. Smashed into that minivan. I had the green…saw him slam into the minivan, bounce off and come right at me. I tried to speed up but I couldn't…I turned so it would be away from her."

"Could have been a lot worse," the medic tells Casey as he adjusts the collar around his neck.

"My daughter!"

"She looks a bit dazed but I think she'll be okay."

"Momma…"

Severide's mind races as he notices a bit of blood on Aurora's face. "Baby girl I'm here."

"Want…momma," she moans as she's collared and then gently transferred onto a transfer board, looking up at her father with scared, watery eyes.

"Aurora! Baby I'm here…I'm here," Severide tells her as he quickly takes off his jacket and drapes it over her shivering frame, his hand taking hers in his. "I'm right here. Okay? You're gonna be just fine. Okay? You're gonna be fine."

"I'm okay…" Casey insists as he tries to shrug off the medic's attention.

"Sir…"

"I'm riding with them. Save the other bus for the family," Casey tells the medic as he slowly gets up and walks toward the ambulance that Severide had just climbed into the back of. "Kelly…" but his words are lost as he looks at his friend who tries to put on a brave face for his daughter.

Severide's watery gaze looks up at Casey's bandaged arm and frowns heavily. "I just texted dad and um…told him about the car and to bring her doll and something warm to wear home."

"Kelly…I'm sorry," Casey finally manages as Severide shakes his head and then looks back down at his daughter as she looks up in misery.

"I'm so sorry baby," he whispers as the female medic touches his arm.

"Barring anything that an x-ray picks with regards to internal injuries, she will be fine."

"Thank you," Severide utters with a soft choke as he looks back down at his whimpering daughter.

"Want momma," Aurora softly cries as Severide lowers his face and kisses her flushed forehead and then tenderly brushes away her tears. He looks at the small cut on the left side of her face from where his head struck the side of the car seat upon impact. She'd have a small bruise but knows it was Casey's last minute thinking that saved her from further harm. His side took the brunt; an action that a loving parent or guardian would to keep a beloved child safe from hurt or danger.

"Thank you," Severide clasps Casey's hand, the two fists locking for a few seconds of relief.

As soon as they get to Lakeshore, Severide accompanies his daughter into the examination room, while Casey goes into his own to get his wounded arm tended to; Benny already on his way via cab to pick up Severide's car and then to the hospital to pick them all up; Boden already informed.

Severide tells the ER pediatric doctor what details he could remember from Casey about the accident but all the while he just focuses on his daughter's sad whimpers. Thankfully for them both, the x-rays come back negative for internal injuries. She'd have a few bumps and bruises and a sore neck for a few days; a headache for a few hours at least but she has gotten off easy.

"Come on baby," Severide whispers as he shoves the packet of children's Tylenol into his pocket along with an instruction sheet.

"Dadda," Aurora moans sadly as Severide gathers her up in his arms and holds her tightly. Still fresh from the accident, her body aches and she offers a fresh whimper into his grasp and buries her face in his shoulder.

"Kelly!" Benny states in a panic as he rushes toward them. "Aurora…how is she?" Benny asks as he hands her her Dora doll.

"She's okay," Severide replies with a teary sigh as he puts on a tight lipped nod for his father.

Benny kisses the side of Aurora's head and then gives his son a half hug. "How's Matt?"

"Uncle Matt…has a badly sprained wrist," Casey's voice is heard as he holds up his left hand to display the rigid splint. "Coulda been worse," he states as he kisses Aurora on the cheek.

"Come on, I'm parked right outside," Benny tells them as he heads for the door; the two of them slowly following.

"Matt…"

"I'm sorry Kelly I should have just waited at Christie's for you."

"Why were you there?" Severide inquires.

"What?"

"Boden told me you tried to pick up a shift and he sent you away and then dad said something about us moving out?"

"Are you?" Casey asks in haste; both of them pausing a few meters from the car, Benny waiting and not wanting to interfere as they work it out.

"No. Ah man sorry I thought I had told you about…a few weeks back dad mentioned he wanted a new apartment, one closer to us and 51 just in case we all had to crash there again…"

"And not sleep on the floor?" Casey interjects with a soft smirk as Severide nods. "So…that was the call."

"You suck at eavesdropping," Severide retorts with a head shake. "The apartment is for him but if I just told him about it he would have said to pound sand. We like it where we are and taking Aurora away from that family stability would be wrong."

"Glad to hear it," Casey replies with a small smile as he looks at his sleepy goddaughter as she looks at him with a soft watery gaze. "Just got used to having you both there."

"Well…you're stuck with us a bit longer."

Severide helps Aurora get into her car-seat and then climbs into the back with her, Benny driving and Casey resting in the front seat. Casey tells them a bit more about the accident and then Benny tells them about his new apartment and how the move would be better for all of them.

Benny orders in some Greek takeout, Aurora's favorite. But after the scare that night, she only picks at a few items on her plate as she sits nestled on her father's lap. The doctor told him it was best if she took the children's pain medication with food and so he insisted she eat a bit more before he takes her to bed and puts her to sleep. However, after her frightful ordeal, she doesn't want to be alone so he carries her back into the living room and lets her fall asleep in his arms.

"At least I got a blue one," Casey states with a small smile as he holds up his splinted wrist.

"At least it wasn't as bad as it could have been," Severide reminds him with a small hiss. "When I saw those lights…and you didn't answer…" his voice trails off as he looks down at his precious daughter, the blackish mark marring her porcelain skin. "You shoulda asked about the call."

"I honestly didn't want to guilt you. I don't think you're ready…either of you but it's your call right? I could have said don't do it but I know you…"

"If I wanted to I woulda said I'm fine and that'd be it," Severide concludes as Casey shakes his head. "We need to be here…she needs you right now…she needs this."

They talk a bit longer before it's time to get some sleep. Severide carries Aurora to his bed, not wanting her to face any nightmares alone after all she had been through. That night all three of them have nightmares.

XXXXXXXX

"Can we fish daddy?" Aurora inquires as they near the cabin the next morning. They had all gotten up; Casey a bit stiffer than the morning before and Aurora a bit achier but still agreed they wanted to keep to their promised outing. The weather was going to be sunny and warm – the perfect late summer mixture for a few days in the woods by a lake.

"You brought the rods right?"

"I did but…oh d…" Severide starts to curse and then stops. "I forgot bait. We'll just have to find some worms."

Aurora at first doesn't protest as she's too busy occupying herself with looking outside the window as the cabin looms closer. Once they arrive, she's let out of her car seat and with Dora in her grasp runs toward the cabin and inside. She gets on her bed and starts to jump before Severide comes into her room and reminds her she's not to do that with her shoes on.

"Come outside with us and wear off that energy in the sun."

After everything is unpacked they head down to the lake, ready to do some swimming and some casual fishing. At first Severide tries to find some worms for bait, but Aurora's eyes would widen as her father would try to put the sharp hook through the belly of the innocent worm, grab it from his fingers and throw it back into the bush.

"Not the little worms daddy."

"Baby girl, we need bait," Severide lightly groans as she looks at him with a morose expression. "Okay fine you find us something."

Casey can only laugh when she plucks a small stone and holds it up with glee.

"What do I use to fasten it to the hook? Duct tape?"

"Hey duct tape is very useful," Casey retorts with a snicker.

"Yeah for helping to maintain the silence," Severide shoots back as Casey looks away with a mock horrified expression. "Okay wait here I'll…find something."

"Let's wade in the water," Casey tells Aurora as he kicks off his shoes, Aurora doing the same with her sandals. At first the water is cold and she lets out a small squeal as it starts to nip at her bare legs. She rushes back to Casey, lightly splashing him and making him also let out a playful squeal.

"Was that you or her?" Severide teases as he comes back with a small baggie of cubed cheese.

"Are you serious?"

"Hey it was all I could find," Severide replies sheepishly.

Aurora, however, is more than delighted to take the little cubes offered her and pop them into her mouth instead of trying to catch a fish with it.

"I think that…hey!"

"Really? One took that lame bait?" Casey laughs as Severide gets a tug on his line.

"Yay daddy got a fish! Daddy got a fish!" Aurora exclaims as Severide looks at Casey with a beaming smile.

Severide manages to get the small but very energetic lake trout out of the water, dangling in the air.

"Can I take it home daddy?"

"It's going to be dinner," Severide wags his brows; his daughter's happy smile instantly drooping. "Sweetheart that's what fishing is about. We catch it, kill it and eat it. They get the routine."

"No daddy, he looks like Nemo."

Severide can only shake his head as he looks at Casey who very carefully takes the little fish off the hook and tosses it back into the water. "Nemo gets to swim for another day."

"YAY!" Aurora claps her hands and grins broadly.

"Your mom would have been happy too," Severide states in haste before he stops and looks at his daughter with a frown.

"Remember the time she tossed that catfish back?" Casey gently continues as Severide looks from his daughter's wondering expression to his friend's hopeful one.

"Yeah…uh yeah…" Severide gently clears his throat as he looks back down at Aurora. "Your mom would have been happy because she would have done the exact same thing."

The little girl beams under the praise and then goes back to putting her un-baited fishing line back into the water; just happy to be there and even happier that she didn't have to catch a fish or see one being killed. After their time in the boat, the three of them head back up to the cabin where the portable barbeque is fired up and a veritable feast of hotdogs, packet fries and cold iced tea are enjoyed. Due to all of them having a very restless night the night before, the three of them enjoy a lazy afternoon, napping inside before getting up and going for a walk back down to the lake before dinner.

Unlike the last lake outing where Severide nearly died and where Aurora was pitted against the elements, this trip would be relaxed and enjoyable – every single minute, solid rest that all would enjoy and benefit from.

XXXXXXXX

The next day they once again spend down by the lake, this time all three of them climbing into the provided canoe and taking turns paddling around the lake. After the enjoyable boat ride, they head out to the dock where they swim and play in the water.

"Look at me daddy! I'm simming!" Aurora calls out as she splashes around with her life jacket and blow up water wings attached.

"Here comes the daddy monster!" Severide calls out as he goes under the water and then pops up by Aurora making her scream and then laugh.

Casey watches the tender moments from the dock and feels his heart starting to tug slightly.

'You really want a family? As in children? Of our own?'

'I want that with you only Matt Casey. I love you.'

'I love you too.'

He remembers him and Hallie talking about their future, her coming back for him and their new start. Then she was ripped away and a part of him never recovered. Severide at least had a few years with Shay and Aurora together as a family; now that was missing also. What is better to have none and lost? Or some and still lost? Neither…in the end they both lost. Those emotional holes would forever remain…the scars – never fully healing.

Severide hoists Aurora up into the air and then lets her plunk back down with a splash; the two of them enjoying their time together immensely. After that they climb up onto the dock with Casey and all three of them sit in the warm afternoon sun enjoying the fresh air and each other's company.

Dinner was another enjoyable moment shared between the three of them as they sit inside the warm cabin, talking about their fun filled day and how they'd spend their last day before heading back to civilization the day after tomorrow.

"Out here it's easy to forget things," Severide comments as he and Casey sit in front of the fire place after Aurora had gone to sleep, slowly finishing their last beers.

"Such as?"

"Going back home and Shay's not there. Sometimes out here when I'm just lost in the moment I'll be like, Shay wanted a girl's weekend to herself or whatever and we'll tell her all the stories when we get back. Ever have that?"

"I do. Sometimes after shift, especially when it's involved something I know Hallie really used to love or someone she knew, I'll be like I can't wait to get home and tell her what happened," Casey replies with a small sigh. "And then…I get home and remember…she's gone. I think that's normal with anyone who's experienced a loss and was close to the person."

"She's missing out on so much."

"I know," Casey is forced to agree as he lets out a small yawn. "I'm glad you talked about Shay in front of Aurora though."

"Nick said it was important and I'm trying but it's so hard for me because then my bitter resentment comes up and I get angry. Aurora doesn't get it yet and I don't want her ever to be afraid to ask me things about her mother. I want her to know I loved…still love her mother very much and that will never change."

"Slowly but surely right?"

"Right," Severide agrees with a soft whisper as he takes the final swig of his beer.

XXXXXXXX

The trip to the cabin had been an immense success, all of them resting and just having an enjoyable time; coming back physically invigorated and ready to get back to their daily routine. That morning, it's all hands on deck as Aurora helps set the table with non-breakable items, Casey prepares their lunches as he had one more day of rest for his wrist and Severide made arrangements with Shay's parents to take Aurora for the day.

"Gramma Pauline is on her way over. You're going to be a good girl for her right?"

"Yes daddy."

"And remember when you go to the park with her you are to stay at her side no matter what." They would be joining Cindy Hermann and Kenny James and would see a few more familiar faces. However, there would also be a set of eyes watching them that was uninvited and unwelcomed.

"How's it feel to be back?" Capp slaps Severide on the back as Boden approaches.

"Good," he answers with a somewhat tense smile.

"Wasn't it too full weeks?" Boden reminds Severide as Capp takes his leave.

"Chief I'm fine. A few days here and then another session and…I need to get back into this routine. The time off was great, it was and the trip to the cabin was just what the doctor ordered but that's it…now I need to work."

"Okay but I still have Capp as lead one more day."

"Sure," Severide resigns, just happy to be back with his team and focusing on something other than his own simmering misery. He heads into the locker room and spies an envelope sticking out and quickly snatches it. He rips it open and then stops as his eyes travel down the handwritten note and rest on the name.

'Allison Rafferty.'

"Damn," he curses as his eyes slide back up to the top of the little hand written letter.

'Hi Kelly.

I should have sent this sooner but I was…I have no excuse sorry. I'm sorry about Shay. Her and I had gotten off to a somewhat bumpy start but she helped me in ways I wish I had expressed to her sooner. I always thought I had time. I'm sure you've gone through that yourself. I miss her. I couldn't stay after the funeral and I don't yet have the strength to come back to 51. Maybe one day. Give Aurora a hug for me and say hi to the guys. 51 will always be special to me. I hope you are keeping well.

Take care.

Allison.'

His eyes mist over and his heart starts to feel like a burden in his chest all over again. His balled fist connects solidly with the lockers as his teeth grit. So much for coming to work to escape emotional pain.

"Kelly?"

Severide looks up to see Boden watching him in concern before taking a few steps in his direction. "What happened?"

"Rafferty," he whispers as he holds up the little letter and then looks away. "I just…" he starts just as the overhead paging system goes off.

"Sit this one out," Boden gently instructs.

This time Boden gets no argument as Severide nods in agreement and then sags back against the lockers and watches his boss take his leave.

'Rafferty's my new girl crush,' Shay had declared after a few shifts of working together.

'What? She's straight.'

'Nu uh…'

Severide's fingers quickly fold the letter back up and shove it into his pocket as he storms toward the little workout room. He yanks off his hoodie and grabs the gloves, wanting to dispel as much angry tension as his body will allow. But as soon as the first punch is thrown with his recovery left arm, he cries out and then recoils.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Severide's voice bellows as his eyes water and he kicks the little stool within striking distance. You need to run….and he does. Severide leaves a note for Boden and heads outside the firehouse to rid himself of inner emotional hostility. The run starts out somewhat slow, as his recovering leg begs for a bit of leniency. But by the end, the pace was as fast as he can push himself and he stops with a racing heart and flushed face.

But the inner angst was gone and his mind actually feels freer; the physical detour had worked. After that he heads back to 51, collects his things and texts Boden that he'll be back tomorrow – ready for duty.

However, instead of going straight home, he finds himself going someplace almost unexpected.

"Kelly?"

"Hey Nick…I know I don't have an appointment but um…do you have a few minutes?"

"I have about twenty. Want to walk for a coffee?" His kind hearted therapist suggests.

"Yeah," Severide agrees. The time would be well spent, Severide confessing the latest emotional onslaught and how to deal with well-meaning friends from the past. He'd then be sent on his way with a lighter heart.

"Kelly."

"Hey Pauline," Severide greets Shay's mom with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Daddy!" Aurora calls out as she runs into his arms.

"Missed you baby girl," he whispers as Pauline's hand rests on his arm. He fumbles with the note but figures it was something he wanted to share and Pauline would be grateful for it.

"Please stay for dinner," Pauline offers.

Severide texts Casey and asks him to join them and within a few hours the emotional tension from earlier had subsided.

XXXXXXXX

"Ready?" Casey asks the next morning as they both get up early and get ready for shift.

"Ready," Severide nods. He had shared Rafferty's letter with Casey after they had gotten home last night and the two of them sat and talked about the spunky paramedic for about an hour after Aurora had gone to bed. Yesterday was a blip but seeing Nick had helped as well as the physical exercise – he did both things correctly and was slowly gaining mastery over his own emotional turmoil.

"I hope today's a good day," Severide utters somewhat fatefully as they enter 51. He pulls away from Casey and heads for Boden's office. "Chief…about yesterday…"

"You good today?"

"So far," he answers his superior in haste.

"That's what counts right now," Boden assures him with a friendly smile.

"Okay."

Severide rejoins his team in the main eating area, pulling up a chair beside Cruz and Capp while both of them watch Mills and Dawson engage in another spirited cook-off, something the quietly dating duo seemed to enjoy more than anything – especially in public.

But it's not long before the overhead paging system goes off and it's all hands on deck. Severide's heart starts to race a bit faster as he pulls on his boots; Casey slapping him on the back and telling him he'd see him on scene. They arrive at the two-storey home and instantly his brain reminds him exactly what he has to do.

"You have to get him out of there. Mr. Llewellyn, Andrew, the tenant in the basement," the female neighbor tells Boden excitedly as they all prepare to get to work. "He brought out his dog and then went back into the cellar."

Casey and Severide both rush toward the side of the burning structure and instantly see that the stairs to go down are engulfed with flames.

"Chief we'll have to find another way in!" Casey calls out as Severide rushes past.

"I found a window!" Severide calls out; as the teams scramble with water, ladder and tools to make a useful point of entry. He feels a rush of adrenaline as he puts on his mas, takes the hose and follows Casey down the ladder.

"Fire department, call out!"

The heat pummels them both, along with thick blinding smoke and falling debris. "Fire department!"

"Chief, we found him!"

At first the man protests and despite not uttering it audibly both Casey and Severide can't figure out why he'd want to stay and face the very real possibility of burning alive.

"We have to leave now!" Severide shouts as he tries to physically grab the man; Casey dousing the area around them with water and slowly leading them back to the waiting ladder – their only means of escape.

"Sir!"

"No…" he moans as he clutches a box tighter to his chest; his body charred and his chest heaving for air.

"Casey!"

"Let the box go!" Casey shouts as he helps Severide bodily lift the man's protesting body onto the ladder. But just as he does that the box falls from his grasp, clattering to the floor and spilling it's contents all over the floor.

"Take him up!" Severide calls out to his team, the medics waiting to receive their patient. Severide quickly glances down, his eyes first resting on a few small packets of drugs. He glances briefly at the pictures and at first thinks he sees his daughter's face but then shakes his head, telling himself that was nuts and to focus. Focus Severide that wasn't your daughter!

"Severide!"

"Coming out!" Severide shouts as he starts to crawl through the window, telling Boden to get the CPD as it could be a drug possession issue. But as Severide emerges he looks at the dark sedan parked on the side of the House and then looks at the female neighbor his mind races to place the car. Where have I seen that car before?

"Whose car is this?" Severide calls out as Casey looks at his friend in wonder.

"Mr. Llewellyn," the neighbour answers.

"Kelly? What's going on?"

"I…" Severide pauses as he looks at the car and then back at Casey; his heart rate picking up the pace. CPD arrives a few seconds later and Severide turns to see Erin looking at the box that the tenant had pulled out with them. He notices a look in her eyes that makes his heart stop cold. Was that...Aurora's picture in his box?

A/N: So now you know who the eyes belonged to (anyone guess that right or hopefully surprised!). I wanted to tie in the crossover eppy but I won't delve into the whole dark history of what the crossover went into. Just to touch a bit on the feeling of helplessness a parent might feel doing everyday things. So a bit more Severide angst b/c we all love that right? So how will he react when he learns the truth? (again there won't be any disturbing pictures mentioned b/c even that's too much for me…just a few pics at the park). But I tempered the angst of the accident with some happy times at the lake. Yup a real roller coaster here for our trio and hope you're all still enjoying this journey. Please do review and let me know your thoughts and thanks so much!