Title: Plan B
Chapter 18 – Dealing with Vulnerability

"Are you the one that wanted to let my brother burn?"

Severide quickly turns and looks at the scowling face in surprise. Would his earlier words have current repercussions?

"Are you?"

"Sir, I think you need…" Casey starts as he steps in front of Severide, knowing that Severide had stuck up for him numerous times in the past. "To just step back a bit."

"Are you?"

"Yeah I'm him and do you want to know why I wanted to let his worthless ass burn!" Severide asks sharply as he pushes past Casey and glares at Llewelyn's brother in contempt. "You want to make something of it?".

"Hey! Hold on a sec!" Casey's voice raises as he instantly steps between his friend and the angry stranger.

"Do you know what he had? Pictures of my four year old daughter!"

The words instantly sting all those within ear-shot and force Llewelyn's brother to look at Severide with arched brows.

"You didn't know?" Casey asks in a lower tone as Severide's jaw remains set and he stands at a ready and fighting stance.

"I…"

"He likes to look at pictures of little children!" Severide shouts in contempt.

"What's your name?" Erin asks with a small huff.

"Charlie. And yes…damn I knew but…" his voice trails off as they all turn and look at the team trying to save his brother's life.

"But what? You knew and you didn't turn him in sooner?" Severide steps up to take hold of Charlie's jacket and yanks him closer.

"Hey!"

"Kelly!" Both Casey and Erin state at once.

"If you knew and did nothing then you should have burned with him!" Severide hisses, his face a few inches from Charlie's. "He had pictures…of my daughter and….damn you!" Severide shouts; security now edging their way closer.

"I've got this," Erin interjects with a small glare as Casey finally pulls Severide back.

"Matt…"

"I heard but…but you didn't wait to see why he's here."

"Yeah to save his brother's worthless ass!" Severide states gruffly as he looks at security with a heavy frown. "If I wanted to do something I would have already! Rent a cops!"

Erin just shakes her head but at the same time, neither she nor Casey could fault Severide for his rising aggression. A pedophile was something that even the most hardened of criminals loathed, how could anyone fault a hard working single father for feeling such ill contempt.

"I knew…at least I did…." Charlie starts as Severide's frame finally relaxes; the hospital security guards backing down at Erin's request. "He said he stopped."

"Why didn't you turn him in?" Severide's tone is now almost pleading.

"How much do you know?" Erin asks at the same time; Casey watching his friend to make sure another angry outburst doesn't result in him being bodily removed from the premises.

"He um…he's had this problem for a long time and…and look I didn't even know where he was. The hospital called and said I was listed as his emergency contact but I swear I had no idea he was still in the city. After he was released fr…"

"So he was arrested?" Casey finally interjects as Charlie turns to him with a nod.

"Yeah. I turned him in."

"What?" Severide asks in shock.

"Why did you come down here?" Erin inquires.

"I honestly thought he kept his promise to go clean after he was released. That was five years ago. He uh…he was arrested for well yes pictures and other stuff but um…my son he uh…"

"Oh no," Severide looks at Charlie with a tight jaw as the man's eyes threaten to water. "Your son?"

"I put my brother in jail. He showed a lot of promise in jail with rehab and all but um…but I see nothing's changed. Your daughter…did he…"

"Thank God no….just pictures but if he…" Severide's voice finally cracks. "I'm sorry."

"When he got out we parted ways and I never saw him since. That day…the day I picked him up from jail and dropped him at the bus station he promised me he had gone straight…cleaned up his act. Got help and was ready to make a new start without all that…stuff. I believed him, or at least wanted to. Now I see my faith was unfounded. So, yes when I first came here I was angry at you…" Charlie tells Severide directly. "I thought he was innocent. And now…now I can't blame you for wanting to let him die. I'm sorry."

"Come with me," Erin gently directs Charlie away from Severide and Casey to talk to him further.

"You should take Aurora and go home," Casey suggests in a low tone as Severide looks at him in misery. "Staying here will only hurt you more."

"I have to see what happens. He already went to jail and came out and did the same things. What happens if…"

"I don't think he'll ever do that again," Casey nudges Severide to look at the room where Andrew Llewellyn was pronounced dead.

"Well I'm not sorry that monster is dead!" Severide's angry tone resounds in the somewhat quiet ER area before he pushes past Casey and heads toward the doors for some fresh air, wanting to get his emotions under check before he goes and picks up his daughter.

"AH!" Severide's voice calls out as his boot kicks at the base of the wall a few feet away.

"I know this won't sound like much right now but at least he can't do any of that again."

Severide looks at Casey before turning away, his lips uttering a low growl in an undertone as he shakes his head. "Even now…I feel helpless. Can you guess how much I love that feeling?"

"As much as I do?" Casey counters, once again drawing Severide's tormented gaze in his direction. "I can't imagine personally because I'm not a father but when I saw those pictures…Kelly, I wanted the same revenge as you."

"He…he assaulted his own nephew? That's…."

"Messed up. Sick. Depraved…disgusting," Casey interjects as he nears his friend. "But at least he'll never be able to do that again. Ever."

"I know…I know…" Severide huffs as he rubs his face and then leans against the wall, looking up into the inky night sky. "I promised Shay when Aurora was born to always protect her and…"

"And if she were here she'd never fault you. You know that. The only one to blame here is Andrew Llewellyn and he's dead."

"Dead," Severide whispers as he finally starts to feel his tension-fueled adrenaline starting to wear off and a shiver coming upon him.

"Let's go," Casey gently directs Severide back inside. Casey goes to catch up with Erin while Severide heads for Darcy to pick up his daughter and then head for home.

"Sorry about this," Severide apologizes as he picks up his daughter's sleepy frame.

"I don't mind, you know that. Shay was special to us," she tells him as her hand rests on his and gives it a friendly squeeze. "I still miss her."

"Thanks," he tells her in a kind tone as he turns and heads for the elevator.

"Dadda…" Aurora mutters with a sleepy yawn, her lifting her head to give him a sleepy smile before it slumps back down onto his shoulder.

"Love you baby girl," he whispers as he gives her a hug and kisses her cheek, pulling her head closer into the crook of his neck. Severide exits the elevator and walks up to Casey and Erin; Charlie in the background talking to the attending physician who had called his brother's official time of death. "Well?"

"We'll check the rest of his apartment and his computer to make sure he wasn't sharing the pictures with anyone but if it was just him as his brother makes it sound, we'll close the case. Kelly I'm so sorry," Erin offers earnestly as her hand lingers on his forearm.

They finally break apart and he, Aurora and Casey head for the doors to go out, never seeing Charlie Llewellyn again. But the inner bitter resentment won't subside just as quickly – that would take a bit of time at least. On the way home, Severide calls his father and then sends a brief text to Pauline to give her the update – it was over and the monster who had silently invaded their privacy was dead.

But that night, Severide's mind won't turn off; his inner conscience mixing fact and fiction and showing him horrible images of his daughter calling out to him for help while Andrew Llewellyn hovers over her laughing.

"NO!" Severide shouts as he bolts upright in a tormented sweat, his heart racing at his supposed failure to keep his daughter safe. The last image was Shay saying he failed them all and taking Aurora away forever. He pushes himself from his bed and slowly heads toward the kitchen to get some cold water.

"Need a Tylenol?"

Severide looks up at Casey's offering and then takes the painkiller and gratefully swallows it down. "Damn I just…nightmares," he states flatly; something Casey had already guessed at. "I wanted to kill him. Matt…I wanted my hands around his neck and just…if you hadn't been there…"

"I know," Casey replies as he watches Severide close the fridge and then lean against the cool appliance trying to find some relief. "I won't say it's going to be okay because I know this will take a bit of time."

"Never asked how the calls went?"

"Well…"

Casey relays to Severide all the details about the call, wanting to end on a more humorous note so that when they both went back to their respective beds, lighter thoughts would be the last thing in their minds – not Andrew Llewellyn and his ugly deeds.

But despite his best efforts, sleep would still be disturbed for both of them.

XXXXXXXX

The next day starts out the same as the ones before with Casey and Severide following their morning routine; Pauline coming to get Aurora and then the two adult males heading to work and hoping for a more peaceful shift. Today that request would be honored.

"You've been quiet all shift," Casey mentions to Severide as he slumps down into the chair right beside him, looking at his friend in wonder.

"Thinking about that school and the park…if I take Aurora back I'll just see Llewellyn there watching."

"It's a good school," Casey replies quietly as Severide looks at him with a frown. "You've already invested so much into that and you know it won't be very long until she's…"

"Going to her first day of school without her mother there," Severide concludes sourly; Casey's lips pursing.

"But…the longer you stay away…"

"The harder it becomes. I know. Maybe we should try going to the park. Think Hermann and his brood will want to come? We're all off on Tuesday."

"Trust me I think Cindy will be more than happy to get her brood out of the house," Casey retorts as he gestures for Hermann to come and join them. Hermann of course readily agrees and the three of them talk a bit longer before the overhead paging system goes off and it's all hands on deck once more.

"Casey! Where are you?"

"Top floor! Thick smoke up here and…Otis! Severide we have one!"

"Capp and I are coming up!"

Despite the intense fire that is forcing his frame to superheat under his heavy gear, his mind is clear and focused. It has to be. He knows that if he was to dwell upon his helpless anxiety that held him captive the day before he'd end up endangering his friends and fellow teammates. That wasn't an option he wants to face.

"Mills!" Severide calls out as he rushes toward the waiting stretcher. "Check his neck!"

"Good job!" Casey slaps Severide on the back as the two of them hang back and watch Brett and Mills try to save the floundering teenager.

"Let's clean it up!" Boden's voice calls out.

Severide looks up and for a split second freezes as he sees a dark sedan approaching. Llewellyn! But he's dead and his tension is forced to subside when he sees two females in the front seat smiling and talking to one another as they drive past.

"Kelly?"

"Yeah…sorry Chief…" Severide mumbles as he turns and heads for Truck 3.

"How is he at home?"

"He had a few moments the last few nights but it's to be expected."

"Just keep an eye on him."

"Always," Casey replies with a soft whisper and nod before he heads toward the front of Truck 81, hops in and they all head back to Firehouse 51. Hermann chatters away about the park outing, drawing a few laughs from Otis and Mouch but Casey's mind is with his friend and wonders if Severide shouldn't schedule himself an appointment with Nick.

"Hey…got a sec?" Casey knocks on the door to Severide's small office; Severide putting down his pen and looking up in wonder. "You know I say this in caring concern…"

"I'm okay."

"I think you should talk to Nick."

"What? Why?" Severide pushes back instantly; forcing Casey to raise his hands in his defense. "You mean about Llewellyn? He's dead."

"So's Shay."

As soon as Casey said it, he regretted it and cursed his own name.

"Get out!" Severide barks as Casey shakes his head but holds his ground.

"I didn't mean it how it sounded. He hurt you and I don't want to see that hold you back in any way."

"Matt…"

"I'm sorry…"

Severide looks at the genuine concern in his friend's eyes and knows Casey would never maliciously or intentionally toss Shay's name at him as a cruel reminder of the fact that she's gone. "Because of the car right? Boden said something?" He is forced to acknowledge the moment in time at the scene when he paused to watch the same car Andrew Llewellyn drove, drive past and bring up painful anger.

Casey nods as he leans against the doorframe. "I know the sessions are over and I don't want you to think that I think…" Casey pauses with a heavy sigh. "I know what you saw hurt you and I just thought maybe talking to Nick would help since…"

"I really haven't bared my soul to anyone other than…okay I haven't but…but I think I'll be okay."

"Okay," Casey backs down, deciding not to push his friend right now. But he would press the issue again if necessary. It wouldn't be necessary. As soon as Casey leaves, Severide looks at a picture of him and Aurora taken at the park and instantly his anger surges.

Pictures of you and Aurora at the park. You were cropped out. Just her. Parent's worst nightmare. Feel so helpless. He was so close…so close…SO DAMN CLOSE!

"Ah screw it!" Severide growls as he reaches for the phone. "Hi uh…I'd like to make an appointment with Nick. Soon as possible. Yeah I'll hold."

You suck at eavesdropping! Casey hadn't meant to eavesdrop but in the end he's glad as this is one call that he's glad he's over heard. He wouldn't mention it until Severide did but at least he could take some comfort in knowing that in two days' time, his friend would be talking to someone he trusts and with his best interests at heart.

When that day rolls around, their shared day off before the park outing the next day, Casey pretends to be busy and not clue in where Severide is going.

"Can you look after Aurora for a bit? I uh…"

"Course. Everything okay?"

"Yeah I…I'm going to see Nick," Severide finally admits as Casey offers a small smile.

"You sure you don't want me to drive you? There's a park nearby. It's sunny out and I don't mind."

"Actually…yeah let's do that," Severide agrees; his mind somewhat settling. "Aurora! We're going to the park!" He calls out with a smirk; both of them hearing little footsteps bounding toward them a few minutes later.

"Can I bring my dollies?" She asks with an eager smile.

"Sure but let's…" is all Severide manages before Aurora turns and races back into her room with a shout of glee. "I'll get her," he tells Casey who starts to clean up a few toys in the living room and then gets ready to go out.

"So while daddy has to take care of something personal are you going to be a good girl for Uncle Matt and never leave his side?"

"Yes daddy."

"Uncle Matt might get lost and we wouldn't want that right?"

"No!" She answers in haste as Severide finishes putting her hair into a ponytail.

"So you always keep an eye on Uncle Matt and make sure you are together at all times."

"Okay," Aurora agrees as she pulls away and then starts to shove as many toys as possible into a small pink knapsack.

"Whoa hold on there," Severide snickers as he tries to stop her actions. "Only a few. You don't want to lose them either."

"I won't."

"Even still…only two."

"But daddy, I want them all," Aurora turns to her father with a pout.

"Nice try goober," he teases by pulling down her bottom lip. She playfully swats his hand away and he catches it and pulls her close, planting a warm kiss on her soft cheek. "Love you sweet girl."

"Love you too daddy," she smiles as she kisses him back.

Within no time, the three of them are in the car and heading toward a very familiar place.

"We'll be right across the street," Casey assures Severide as he holds onto Aurora's hand.

"Remember what I said okay?"

"I won't lose Uncle Matt, daddy. I promise," she states sweetly as Casey looks at his friend with an amused glance.

"See you both soon."

Casey watches him take his leave and knows the session, while helpful afterward will be very hard on his friend during the actual hour. They'd play in the park after it was over and he hopes that will help his friend rebuild a high after what he knows will be an emotional low.

"Hey Kelly, come on it. How's Aurora?"

"She's…fine," Severide replies with a small huff as he slumps down into a nearby chair.

"But…you're not."

Without waiting for any more personal pleasantries, Severide launches right into this emotional issue.

"When I saw the pictures of her in the park and knowing that he was there watching her with dark thoughts….and I couldn't do anything. I felt so helpless and now…ah maybe…"

"And now when you see something that reminds you of the man that wanted to violate your daughter you want to lash out?" Nick gently prods as Severide looks up with a tight jaw and nods. "It's such a terrible feeling for a parent. We always tell ourselves that we're our children's protectors and yet it seems so easy for someone to take that feeling of security away from us."

"I wanted to kill him. I would have if Casey and Erin hadn't been there."

"In this case, I can't blame you at all, but I'm glad you didn't. However it doesn't mean that that feeling is…" Nick starts and the conversation continues for the rest of the hour.

He can only partly attribute his current paranoia to mirroring that of his friend's but every time Casey sees a car slow down or stop by the playground he goes and stands even closer to Aurora, trying to make it clear to any would-be nefarious onlookers that they better not try messing with him or else! Not everyone out there who looks at a child has dark thoughts! And he knows that to be true, but after this scare he can't help but be more cautious.

"Who wants to go for a Happy Meal?" Severide calls out as he heads toward them; Casey noticing the look of relief on his friend's face.

"MEEEE!" Aurora shouts as she gets up from the sandbox and races into her father's waiting grasp.

Casey, however, audibly laughs when two other little kids also chime in and then look at their parents who toss a 'gee thanks mister' in Severide's direction.

"Whoops," Severide retorts with a slight snicker as he plunks himself down beside Casey at the edge of the sandbox. "What are you making?"

"A castle. Look daddy."

"Looks great."

"You okay?" Casey asks simply as Severide looks at him with a strained gaze.

"I think I will be," Severide answers in truth. "Today was tough but it was necessary. Thanks for the nudge."

"You're welcome," Casey states proudly, earning a small jab in the ribs from his friend. "So…a Happy Meal?"

"McDonald's is just down the street. Besides when's the last time you had a Happy Meal?"

"Uh…that would be never," Casey replies with mock horror.

"Aurora how about we take Uncle Matt to McDonald's for his very first happy meal?"

"Okay. He can have the sheeseburger."

"CHEeesebuger."

"CHEEEEEEsbuger," Aurora replies with a toothy grin.

"Okay three Happy Meals all around!" Casey declares as the three of them start to walk away from the park, Aurora in the middle of the two adult males.

"Three? You mean two," Severide corrects Casey.

"You've had a Happy Meal recently?" Casey counters Severide's statement.

"I'm an adult," Severide retorts with a cheeky grin.

"Says you," Casey mutters under his breath before laughing.

"No daddy you have to have a Happy Meal too," Aurora states as she tugs on his arm.

"Can we share the toys?" Severide asks his daughter who nods in confirmation.

"They still have girls and boys toys right?" Casey asks in mock seriousness as Severide snickers. The three of them continue to laugh and enjoy the friendly conversation as they slowly make their way to the world-known fast food chain. Severide's mind settles and he tells himself that he had gotten past this hurdle and that would be it until school starts.

Destiny would show him he's wrong – very wrong, very soon.

A/N: Okay so the last two chappies were tense and wanted to end this one on a bit of a lighter note but you know that won't last long b/c this is the story about Shay's death and you know I gotta work Gish into this with a Severide focus. So yes a bit of angst there with Charlie and then Severide going to see Nick; all of course with Casey's support. I hope you are all enjoying this story and please do review before you go and thanks so much!