OUT OF THE FRYING PAN
Fionna turned over in her animal-skin bed, yawning under her breath as the blankets curled around her body. Across the room, Cake's furry tail twitched lazily over the side of her drawer-made-bed. The room was quiet and dark, with no sounds of a recharging computer console, as it was currently on a vacation with its softball friends. A few moths beat against the window. A cockroach crawled across the bookshelf. A few planks of wood creaked with heat. Otherwise, nothing made a sound.
Fionna's eyes flew open with a sudden sound. It sounded like a thumping, creaking sound from downstairs. She thought it was nothing, maybe a few things fell off of shelves, and closed her eyes to return to her slumber. But just a moment later, the sound came again, louder and harder. Fionna sat up and bed and looked at Cake across the room. Her sister was sleeping soundly. Fionna paused, then threw her legs over the side of the bed and walked over to the ladder that lead downstairs. She set her feet and hands on the steps and climbed down.
The living room was dark and cool. The sound was louder now, thumping, creaking, and almost growling. It seemed to be coming from further downstairs, in the tree trunk. Fionna climbed down the next ladder and arrived in the next room. The sound was almost booming now. The front door was rattling on its hinges. Fionna, a bit nervous, grabbed a nearby bat half-buried in a pile of gold and jewels. She held it out and slowly approached the door.
She was barely halfway across the room when the door burst open.
A Candy person stumbled through the door clumsily. it seemed to be a chocolate bar, or maybe an éclair. Fionna couldn't see well in the dim light. But it was growling, and stumbling. He's probably had a few bottles of corn syrup, Fionna thought. It stumbled towards her.
"Hey, back off, man," said Fionna. She held the bat out in defense. "I have a sport instrument and I am NOT afraid to whoop your butt with it."
The Candy person stumbled forward once more. Fionna saw that he or she looked pale. Too pale for a Candy person. Maybe it was sick? It growled again, and Fionna saw the yellowness of its teeth in the dull light. Too yellow. Fionna's eyebrows furrowed and she said, "Are you OK?"
The Candy person clawed at her, and Fionna instinctively jumped back. The Candy person clawed again, stumbling forward. Just as Fionna was about to swing the bat, several more Candy people stumbled inside in the same state, growling and clawing. Fionna tucked the bat under her arm and hurriedly climbed up the ladder once more.
She arrived in the bedroom quicker than she thought she would. She ran over to Cake and shook her awake. "CUPCAKE!"
The Cat's paw shot out into a large fist that socked Fionna in the gut. Seemingly unaware of what she had done, Cake said, "Fifi, I need my REM. Wassup?"
"There are invaders in the house!"
"Again?"
"FRIGGIN' AGAIN!"
Something hit the window, hard. Cake jumped three feet into the air and landed in Fionna's arms.
"GET YOUR FAT BUTTS OUT HERE!" LSP screamed through the thin glass of the window. He had his hands gripped onto the mane of Lord Monochromicorn, and was giving the girls looks of annoyance.
Fionna and Cake ran to the window and flung it open. A gust of cold wind broke through the air. "Lordy!" Cake cried. "Are you dead?!"
"-.- . ... .-.-.-"
The door of the bedroom burst open with a sudden thud. Fionna and Cake jumped and turned around to see the several zombie-like Candy people pour into the room. They stumbled toward the girls, clawing and growling at them. LSP let out a groan of annoyance before he grabbed Fionna and Cake by the cuffs of their shirts and pulled them onto Lord Monochromicorn's back. Said Monochromicorn quickly shot away from the Treehouse and flew away into the night. Within minutes, the Candy Kingdom was visible.
"LSP. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING?!" Fionna breathed out in desperation. She could feel the bags under her eyes growing by the second.
"Oh, right...uh..." LSP drummed his lips. "I'm pretty sure that PG crumped up again. Yeah, everyone is a zambie."
"Not AGAIN!" Fionna slapped a hand to her face at the very memory of causing the outbreak of the zombie a year ago. At least she didn't have to hide it.
Within the minute, the four of them were flying over the streets of the kingdom. Down below, Fionna saw HUNDREDS of mutant candy zombies stumbling in the streets, falling on their faces and growling through their teeth. They were lumbering in the direction of the castle, which seemed to be cast in a dark shadow of despair. Lord Monochromicorn approached the castle doors, which swung open with zombie just ten feet away. With a burst of speed, Lord Monochromicorn shot through the doors, which slammed shut behind him.
"Is everyone OK?" Prince Gumball asked as he brought the huge lead latch down on the doors. His hair was a bit messed and his white labcoat was rumpled as if he had rolled and unfurled it eleven times over.
"Prince Gumball!" Fionna said with a large sigh of relief.
Prince Gumball turned to the human teenager and nodded. "Yes, Fionna. An outbreak of zombies has arrived in the Candy Kingdom once more. And once more...it is my entire fault..."
Papers and notes covered the surfaces of the lab. Beakers and vials filled with brightly covered liquids were sloppily stacked atop of them. Spoons and swabs were stocked inside boxes. Several bright orange boxes labeled 'BIOHAZERDOUS' were in the corners of the room. Latex gloves and tissues were in tall garbage cans. A single chalkboard was absolutely covered in white and pink streaks.
Prince Gumball lifted up the mushy mass of garbage with his fingers, covered in the black rubber gloves that were embedded in the walls of the glass glove box. He used the other hand to lightly pour a single drop of orange Decorpserum onto the mass. The mass seemed to shrivel just a bit, but remained unchanged from being gray-black and putrid-smelling.
I was working on a sample of zombified Candy flesh I had saved, when Cinnamon Bun walked into the lab.
Cinnamon Bun carelessly slammed the door of the lab open, making the beakers and boxes shake by the force. Prince Gumball jumped, almost spilling some more of the Decorpserum, and gave the living pastry a sour look of annoyance. Cinnamon Bun walked over to the prince's side with a skip in her step.
She said that she wanted something to eat.
"FEED ME!" cried Cinnamon Bun. She raised and lowered her hands in exasperation.
"Not right now, Cinnamon Bun," Prince Gumball sighed in response. He removed his hands from the rubber gloves of the glove box and picked up the clipboard and pen. He clicked the pen on and began to write down the results of the experiment. "I'm sciencing, here."
That's when I made the fatal flaw. I should have paid attention to the girl!
Cinnamon Bun looked through the glass of the glove box and noticed the mass of Candy-Zombie flesh, gray-black, just ever-so-slightly specked with pink and blue. Curious, she completely ignored the foot-long warning notice on the glass of the glove box and pressed the glowing button that opened the door. With a hiss of steam, the door popped open, and Cinnamon Bun reached inside with unprotected hands. She swiped a finger along the top of the flesh and licked it afterwards. It was very bittersweet, but somehow tasty. With a hum, she reached inside and lifted the entire flesh-mass and bit into it all at once.
The Candy-Zombie flesh she digested was highly radioactive. Even touching it with bare hands was a risk!
Prince Gumball, who was putting away the vial of Decorpserum that he was just using, lifted up a new vial with a very long label and held it up to the light, observing its contents. He did not notice at all that Cinnamon Bun was deeply moaning in pain, clutching her icing-coated stomach as she collapsed on her knees. Her stomach was pounding with pain, and her head felt stuffed. Her limbs were numb and immovable.
Prince Gumball pulled the end fitting of the syringe-like dropper, filling it with the contents of the vial. Suddenly, a deep, heavy growl sounded off behind him. Assuming that Cinnamon Bun was whining, he put on the sternest face he could muster. Naturally, the face fell away when he saw that Cinnamon Bun was hunched over on the floor, growling and groaning.
"Cinnamon Bun? Are you OK?"
Cinnamon Bun suddenly jumped to her feet. Her icing was gray, her bread was black, and her eyes were shining a sickly shade of green. White drool spilled from her mouth filled with bony, sharp teeth and a slimy gray tongue. She clawed for the prince with a single roar of, "SUGAR!"
"I managed to just barely escape," Prince Gumball said. "But Cinnamon Bun did, too, and infected the entirety of the kingdom." He sighed heavily, then looked down at the papers in his hand. Fionna noticed that he was also carrying a syringe-like dropper filled with a dark orange liquid. "I managed to take these notes and the dropper of Decorpserum. But the serum is incomplete. it needs more properties. Luckily, the notes list the properties needed to complete the serum."
"Thank Glob!" Fionna sighed with a wide smile. Cake wiped the sweat from her forehead, and LSP grunted, looking around the room for some food.
"Let's barricade this place," Prince Gumball said with a small smile. He reached into the pocket of his lab coat and pulled out the hammer inside. "Then we'll go to my lab and we can get started."
Right at that moment, the window that the prince was standing before burst open, and a zombified eclair leaned inside. With a snarl, she wrapped her bony gray arms around the prince's front and sank her slimy white teeth into the flesh of his neck.
Prince Gumball instinctively let out a loud cry of pain and surprise. The Candy-Zombie sank its bacteria-covered teeth deeper into the prince's neck, bringing a waterfall of slimy white saliva down the prince's lab coat, and began to pull him outwards. Prince Gumball tried to keep himself inside, but his strength was shrinking and infectious fatigue was overtaking his body.
"PRINCE GUMBALL!" shrieked Fionna. She darted forward, and took hold of the prince's arms, pulling with all her might to bring him back inside. But it was no use. The other Candy-Zombies had appeared, and several had taken hold of their prince, pulling him into their crowd as they sank their teeth into his back and sides.
Prince Gumball, though maybe a bit surprised, managed to stay amazingly calm as his body was pulled towards the monsters. He looked at the human girl and breathed out, "Don't worry, Fionna. You have the notes and the serum." Already, his purple-pink eyes were beginning to darken to a sickly shade of green. "Just let chemistry do the work. Chemistry...is...my biiiiiaaaaaaaarrrrrrd..."
Prince Gumball's words faded away as his glowing green eyes bulged out of his skull, his pink flesh darkening to gray as it dropped off of his body.
"NOOOOO!" cried Fionna. In a last ditch effort, she tried to pull her zombified crush back inside. But he was pulling, as well, whether to join his kind or to take her with him.
"GET HIM OUTTA HERE!"
LSP suddenly appeared in front of Fionna, holding a large shard of the broken glass that had burst from the window. He swiped it through the air, making a deep cut in the prince's cheek that shined with a dark black liquid. The prince's head swooped right from the force.
"LSP, NO!"
"Nuh-uh," LSP lifted up one of the wooden boards scattered across the floor of the Grand Hall. He picked up Prince Gumball's forgotten hammer and began to pound the already-present nails into the walls on either side of the window. The zombies growled in confusion and annoyance. "I ain't going out like this." A zombified peanut poked its head inside of the gaps in the window. LSP hit him hard in the temple with the head of the hammer. "LUMP OFF! YOU, TOO!" He hit another curious zombie in the scalp.
"Oh...Prince Gumball..." Fionna only just managed to whisper through the lump in her throat. Her eyes weren't burning, and neither was her throat, telling her that she wasn't about to cry...Maybe it was just the shock of the prince's absence. Glob knows what he was doing now, as a zombie...
To calm her sister down, Cake picked up the notes left behind by the prince. Every page was filled to the ink with benzene rings, cyclohexanes, probability axioms and a crazy number of infinite loops. She might as well be reading hieroglyphics. "Fifi, these notes look like your three-year-old birthday photos..."
"Oh, DANG, really?!" Fionna grabbed one of the notes out of her sister's paws. Sure enough, it did look like those horrid birthday photographs of her three-year-old toddler self. She looked at the pages and noticed that there were exactly four of them. "We should all try to make our own versions of them. If we keep trying, we're bound to get it right eventually!"
Fionna passed pages to Cake, Lord Monochromicorn, and LSP, keeping the last one for herself. "Let's go science this grunk up!"
Five minutes later, the four friends were locked inside the laboratory of the absent edible prince. To their benefit, the liquids, powders, and in-betweens were still set out by the prince. And, since they were all labeled, they looked at the notes and grabbed the vials that matched some of the ineligible words. They each grabbed all the ingredients needed, and set out to find the solution for the Decorpserum.
Fionna took three spoonfuls of a putrid green powder and stirred it inside a beaker filled with a bubbly yellow liquid. The result was the beaker puffing out a cloud of steam and the liquid turning a dark blue color. Fionna picked up the notebook beside her and began to write down the result: CHANGES COLOR.
Lord Monochromicorn and Cake decided to combine their notes together. First, Cake put a cup of a cyan, gelatin-like substance inside a bottle of a thick, cerulean syrup and stirred it with a thin metal stick. Lord Monochromicorn added a green powder to it soon after. Cake poured more of the gelatin into a beaker of green liquid. The solution fizzled like carbonated soda.
LSP poured some green syrup into a vial of yellow powder, shook it until it turned cyan, and poured it back into the green syrup until it turned pink.
As Fionna was trying to decide whether to add red liquid or purple pearl-like thingies into her dark pink solution, she heard a soft chirping to her left. Turning, she saw a tall, pink cage made of caramelized sugar atop the nearby counter. Inside, a small, canary-like bird was flitting around energetically. It was colored bright pink, dark brown and pure white, like a sort of chocolaty treat. The bird was absolutely freaking out, twirling and swerving and sharply darting in the air.
"That bird is going ba-nay-nays..." Cake observed. She stepped over to Fionna's side for a closer look. "Ya think it has rabies?"
"I'LL HANDLE THIS!" LSP suddenly appeared behind them, one hand on the door of the cage and the other holding a rather vicious-looking metal scalp utensil.
"NO!" "LSP, NO!" "DON'T DO IT, MAN!" "IT'S SO INNOCENT!" Fionna and Cake cried as they tried to pull the crazed prince away from the small creature.
Fionna took two powders, one bright blue and the other dark green, and dumped them into a beaker filled with a red gelatin. It bubbled fiercely, and Fionna let out a gag at the bittersweet scent that filled the air.
Cake pulled on the latex gloves and slipped on the protective mask over her face. Lord Monochromicorn handed her the metal clamp that she needed. Cake opened the lid of the aluminum basin. A thick fog of dark green smoke filled the air as an acid-hot flurry of orange sparks burst forth. Cake dipped the clamp inside the boiling liquid and pulled out a rock-candy-like lump that glistened lavender and cyan. However, the lump disintegrated to powder a moment later. Cake turned to her boyfriend and shrugged.
LSP took three cans of syrup and gelatin and dumped it all into a large glass basin. Thick, sweet foam bubbled on the surface until it almost poured over the brim. "ATTABOY!"
Well, a lot more (unprotected) combining, (unprotected) mixing, and (unprotected) shaking of the (dangerous) liquids, (radioactive) powders, and (acidic) gelatins ensued. Finally, a good half-hour later, the four of them had their three (Cake and Lord Monochromicorn shared one) solutions. Fionna's was a dark blue solution, almost as thick as molasses. LSP's was bright cyan, thinner than water, with purple grains fermented at the bottom. Cake and Lord Monochromicorn's was bright magenta, which had the texture of milk and kept spurting out plumes of blue steam.
"LET'S GO SAVE OUR GUMBALL!" Fionna screamed. With several battle cries, the four of them ran out of the laboratory and ran to the Grand Hall.
They all ran to the window that LSP had boarded up an hour before. Zombies were still trying to crawl inside, either sticking their limbs through the cracks between the wooden boards or gnawing at the wood with their bony teeth. Their green eyes glowed brighter as the four friends approached.
"Mine first," Fionna said. She stepped forward, and, cautiously, poured her solution onto the face of one of the zombies, a raspberry donut, saving some in case it worked.
At once, the zombie reeled back from the window, covering its face with its gray hands. Its arms began to flail as it shrieked in pain. Its arms began to spasm and jerk, a few places of flesh lashing out as if animals were crawling under its skin. The flesh eventually shot out at three feet's length, and the zombie howled in pain.
Bat-like wings, thin and leathery, were left under the zombie's arms.
Fionna and Cake instinctively screamed.
It was almost as if the zombie realized that it was now much more advanced. With a surprised growl, and a shake of its wings, it waddled over to a nearby zombified chocolate bar and bit its dripping teeth into its arm. It let out a surprised gasp, then a pleasant one as the leathery wings spouted under its arms. Together, the raspberry donut zombie and the chocolate bar zombie bit into the flesh of a nearby strawberry zombie. Its arms flew out with new wings, and together, all three of them howled. Then, they took off for the sky with cries of, "SUGARRRR!"
"Oh...crum..." Fionna whispered to herself, watching as the zombies circled in the air like vultures.
Meanwhile, at the top of an abandoned police tower, Starchie the Gravedigger looked down at the growing mass of hungry zombies piled at the entrance of the castle, beating and clawing at the door. Starchie had spent the last week (even though the outbreak had only started about nine hours ago) setting up the tower for the zombies. It was several stories high, but even so, she had pulled three heavy steel boxes atop the latch-door entrance. She had raided the Candy Kingdom's weaponry, taking everything she could carry in her arms. She bought every single item in the store that either did not expire at all (rice, salt, honey, water) or expired after a very long time (dried fruits, nuts, canned foods). She had also covered herself head-to-toe in duct tape, plastic pads, and a hockey mask. She wasn't about to die.
"I knew it! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN," she screamed down to the zombies. "Starchie is going to be the final girl, yes she is!" She began to do a little jig, humming to herself...
...until one of the newly-flying zombies plucked her from the tower and carried her away. "DAAAAAAAANG IT!"
0000000000000
Fionna, Cake, LSP and Lord Monochromicorn jumped as Starchie broke through the boards on the window and landed on the floor. The new opening in the window beckoned the zombies to pour inside, growling and snarling almost smugly.
"WE GOTTA GO NOW!" Cake screamed. A zombie reached out to grab her tail, and she jumped to Lord Monochromicorn for protection.
"UPSTAIRS! NOW!"
After dashing up to the upstairs observatory, the four friends slammed the metal door behind them and stood, panting, in the large, dark room. Finally, Fionna breathed out, "Cake...Mo-Chro...do yours...now..."
Cake made a move to approach the large window in the far wall, holding the formula she and her boyfriend had made. But before she could do so, LSP rudely pushed the cat out of the way (making Lord Monochromicorn give him a burning glare) and stormed towards the window himself. "Nuh-uh! If anyone is going down in history as the person who saved the Candy Kingdom, it's going to be me!" LSP opened the window and poured his entire formula down on the zombies, chucking the glass beaker down afterwards.
The formula splashed onto the faces and limbs of two of the flying zombies and five more down below. As if aggravated, the one of the flying zombies flew up to the window and slammed its hands against the glass. LSP reeled back.
Suddenly, the zombie's muscles began to spasm. Its body lurched and swerved in the air, twitching and jerking. Its flesh began to expand and stretch like rubber.
Soon, the zombie's body was covered in thick, meaty muscles.
"HO-LY CRUD." LSP gawked. He turned to the others, and it seemed like he was about to warn them of the new danger, when he instead proclaimed, "LOOK AT THOSE PECS! I GOTTA GET THE REST OF THAT FORMULA!"
LSP pushed Fionna and Cake aside harshly, flinging the metal door open loudly and speeding down the stairs. Knowing he was too far to rescue, the others decided to simply look out the window to see if he would succeed.
LSP broke into the crowd of zombies, shoving them aside as he screamed, "LUMP OFF! THAT'S MINE!" He pushed his way to the small puddle of formula that was quickly absorbing into the ground beneath it. LSP knelt beside the formula, splashing his hands into it and rubbing it on his skin. "C'MON! YEAH! I'M GONNA BE SO RAD! YEAH!" He whooped in cheer when his flesh began to expand and swell, becoming thicker and thicker. Unfortunately, however, it was just the areas that were touched by the formula. So, only small portions of his flesh expanded from his body, giving him the odd appearance of being covered with gargantuan warts.
All too late, LSP was aware of the zombies cluttering around him, snarling and clawing for him.
"LSP, LOOK OUT!" Fionna called form up above.
"HEY! LAY OFF!" LSP tried to punch the zombies away, but for each one gone, three more took its place. Soon, the zombies were grabbing at him, pulling him to them until, finally, LSP disappeared beneath them. There were a few screams, and the sound of teeth chomping into flesh.
LSP reemerged from the zombies with gray skin, glowing red eyes, large muscles and leathery wings.
The zombifies LSP flew up to the window of the observatory, smacking his face against the glass. Fionna and Cake reeled back as the zombie growled at them. "LSP!" "NO!"
"Dangit, Cupcake!" Fionna exclaimed. "It's up to you and Mo-Chro now! Try your formula!"
"Alright," Cake beat the window open hard enough so that LSP was bumped away by the force. Quickly, she dumped her and her boyfriend's solution down onto the heads of the zombies below.
With a few expected lurches of muscles, spasms of bones, and whatnot, the effects of the solution became clear: the zombies' fingernails stretched out from its fingers into six-inch-long claws, sharp as razors.
Soon, all of the zombies, with wings, muscles, and claws, took off into the air and began to dart for the observatory. Fionna and Cake just had enough time to scream and reel back before the window shattered and the zombies poured inside. Soon, the air was filled with zombified Candy people, growling and snarling as they soared in circles like vultures above their heads. Fionna did her best to cover herself with her arms.
"WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!" she screamed.
"TO THE LABRATORY! WE'LL BARRICADE OURSELVES INSIDE!" Cake screamed back.
After five minutes of sweaty, lung-burning running, Fionna, Cake, and Lord Monochromicorn burst into the laboratory downstairs. As Fionna collapsed, exhausted, onto the floor, Cake slammed the metal door shut and pulled the steel bolt down for more precaution. The zombies, which were right on their tails, pounded at the door with their thick muscles, creating several deep indentations.
Fionna, who was finally catching her breath, exclaimed, "Did anyone get bit?"
".. .-. - / .- .-.. .-. .. -. ... - .-.-.-"
"I'm good, too," Cake sighed. She stood up, stretching her back to get the tension out of it, and pointed her thumb at the door behind her. "That door's made out of three-feet-deep carmelized candy steel. It'll last for centuries."
She was completely oblivious to the fact that a zombified Ms. Candy Cane had crawled out of one of the laboratory lockers and was now stumbling towards her boyfriend.
Fionna shrieked.
"What now?" Cake turned around with a sigh. Her face set into a horrible frown when she saw the zombie approaching.
The zombie's bony teeth were mere inches away from Lord Monochromicorn's neck when Cake smacked her lower paw against its mouth, kicking her back into the locker, slamming the door tightly shut and slamming it down in front of the door. She put a plant atop of it for good measure.
"Cupcake, it didn't bite you, did it?"
Cake looked at her bottom left paw. She could just barely see that spots of her fur were sticking up at sharp angles. She brushed the fur aside and saw that there were several bleeding spots on her paw. "Uh...maybe? I can't tell. It isn't too big, though. I'll be fine."
".- .-. . / -.- - ..- / ... ..- .-. . ..-.. / .. / ... .- .- / - ... .. ... / .. -. / .- / - - ...- .. . / - -. -.-. . .-.-.- / .- / -. ..- -.- / -. - - / ... .. ... / .-.. . -. / -... .. - / -... -.- / .- / -.. - - -... .. . -..- / ... - / ... . / -.-. ..- - / .. - / - ..-. ..-. / .- -. -.. / .-. . .-. .-.. .- -.-. . -.. / .. - / .- .. - ... / .- / ... .- - .-. -.. .-.-.- / .- . / ... ... - ..- .-.. -.. / - .-. -.- / - ... .- - .-.-.-"
"Uh, no, we are NOT trying that." Cake felt her paw begin to tingle, then go numb, then just...shut down. She looked down at it. The white fur was darkening, graying and drying. Her digits were twitching. Cake dropped her paw to the floor, where it crawled around on its own. She stretched her leg out, pulling herself away from the infected paw.
"... .- . . - .. . -..- / -. - ?" Lord Monochromicorn 'said' quickly.
"It's alright, babe. I can stretch the infection away." Cake continued to back up, turning to her sister as she did so. "We should hurry up with that antidote, yeah?" Cake looked down at her paw and jumped. The infection was shooting up her leg now, the fur graying at an incredibly fast rate. She hurriedly limped away, sprouting a new leg from her torso. She began to run laps around the laboratory.
Fionna began to break into a nervous sweat. She shuffled through the notes left behind by the prince. They sure did look like her three-year-old birthday photos before, but now they looked like the photos from last year's Globmas party! Her eyes began to dart to and fro, and her fingers were trembling as if her bones were tectonic plates sliding over one another.
"Try one of those books! Over by the rabies-bird," Cake called to Fionna, right when she completed her third lap. Her leg was strewn around the floor.
Fionna darted to the bookcase next to the bird cage (which was STILL freaking out in its cage, even more so now) and dove into the books. Immediately, she saw that the words were just as complicated as the Globmas notes. She looked for anything remotely simple.
Her eyes landed on Science-y Stuff for Morons. She pulled it out and flipped the pages open. They were perfectly simple and easy, with only one or two of the words unfamiliar to her. "Yeah! The prince has an idiot-book just for us!"
"That's great, sis!" Cake ran by Fionna again, her arm still dragging behind her, the infection following up the limb.
Fionna glanced over at the birdcage. The bird had stopped its rampage, clinging onto the bars of its cage. It shook its wings on the bars, as if trying to break out. It finally head-butted one, and, as a result, landed wings-spread, legs-high on the bottom of the cage. "Cupcake, this bird is having brain diarrhea..."
Cake was quickly losing stamina. She was panting now, her leg lapped seven times around the floor like a watering hose. It was twitching and lurching like a stepped-on bug. She looked up and saw, to her relief, that Prince Gumball had a Decontamination Chamber inside the laboratory, the size of a walk-in closet, the walls and floors made of grates to allow decontaminating fumes inside. Cake ran inside, leaving most (if not all) of her infected leg outside. She hit the airlock at the last second and slammed the glass door. Her leg was squeezed to the point of snapping off between the glass and the top of the door, but she didn't feel an atom of pain.
Lord Monochromicorn flew up to the door of the Chamber and looked at his girlfriend with tragic, puppy-dog eyes. Cake was still panting, suddenly feeling very dizzy and sick. Lord Monochromicorn tapped and scratched a message on the glass of the door. "-... .- -... -.- -..- / .-. .-.. . .- ... . / - . .-.. .-.. / - . / -.- - ..- .-. .-. . / - -.- -..- / .-. .-.. . .- ... . .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-"
"Yeah, I'm fine...I...I just need to stay in here for now...Whoo..." Cake took a deep breath, rubbing her two other legs in exhaustion. "I should not have skipped leg day..."
The infection was still rocketing up her leg. Now, it was inching towards the Chamber. It finally came to the part of her leg wedged in the door, and Cake prayed to Glob that it would stop there. It didn't. It spread through Cake's leg further, towards her torso now. Cake hurriedly stretched out more, as much as she could in the Chamber's small space. "FIFI, HURRY THAT CRUD UP!"
"I'M TRYING," Fionna screamed back. She hurriedly stirred three liquids and a powder together, shaking it and constantly looking back at the book. "Alright...Cupcake's probably going to die...but that's OK because I'll save her..."
In her panic, she slapped her hand on the button that triggered the decontamination fumes. The white gas filled the chamber, fogging the glass until Cake was completely blocked from sight.
"-.-. .- -.- . .-.-.- / -.-. .- -.- . -..- / -... .- -... -.- -..- / ... - -. . -.- -..- / .- -. ... .- . .-. / - . .-.-.-"
Slowly, the fumes died away, the glass cleared, and the vision inside the chamber was clear.
Cake, her fur gray and dead-grass brown, her eyes green and as bright as lanterns, was growling at Lord Monochromicorn, clawing at him through the glass and snarling through her bony sharp teeth.
"-.-. .- -.- . .-.-.-" Lord Monochromicorn fumbled on his words in his shock.
"Don't worry, Mo-Chro," Fionna added a syrup into her formula, stirring it inside and making sure it settled before reaching for a powder next. "I'll fix her up, just don't go near her. She's not safe anymore."
Lord Monochromicorn looked at his girlfriend in desperation. She was Cake, but...she was different. She looked at him hungrily, and not in a good way. She was a hollow shell now. He didn't like it. Not at all.
"-.- - ..- .-. .-. . / -.-. .- -.- . .-.-.- / -.- - ..- .-. .-. . / - -.- / -.-. .- -.- . .-.-.- / .- -. -.. / .. .-. .-.. .-.. / -... . / .- .. - ... / -.- - ..- / -. - / - .- - - . .-. / .- ... .- - .-.-.-"
Lord Monochromicorn hit the airlock, and with a hiss of steam, the door swung open. The zombified Cake stumbled out, snarling through her bony teeth whilst staring at the black unicorn-like creature with her glowing green eyes. Cake paused, then, to her boyfriend's shock, wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled her muzzle into his neck. He closed his eyes in content.
That was when Cake sunk her teeth into his neck.
"Alright, Lordy," said Fionna. She ran her finger under one of the passages in the book, nodding to herself as she added the last few sprinkles of powder to the formula. "I'm almost done with the serum. Just make sure that you don't open that chAAAAAAAHHH!"
Fionna shrieked as bony teeth sunk into the flesh of her neck. Pain shot up her head and shoulders, aching and burning like wasp stings. A horrible numbness in her hamstrings followed, and she felt her collarbone stiffen. Her hand flew to her neck, where it hit a different being's flesh. Fionna span around and saw that Lord Monochromicorn, with shriveled skin and glowing green eyes, had sunk his now-sharp teeth into her neck. Cake stood beside him, snarling and hissing.
Fionna felt the infection begin to spread. She heard that there were stages to an infection, stages of symptoms and signs. This was Stage 1: Numbness around her neck and shoulders, with a dull stinging and burning.
Nevertheless, she tossed her formula onto a nearby pushing cart, along with the rest of the powders, syrups, and liquids needed. She pushed the cart hurriedly away, then suddenly scraped her heels on the floor to slow down. She lifted the birdcage, as heavy as it was, onto the cart. She didn't know why she was taking the time to save a rabies-infected bird, but she was.
A loud clanging sound caught her attention. She looked up and saw that the door, made of several feet of carmelized candy steel, was beginning to bounce on its hinges, the indentations becoming deeper and deeper. Cake had made a mistake. That door probably only had a few more hours...Oh, nope, there it goes, blasting off its hinges.
A muscular, bat-winged, severely-clawed zombie cake crawled into the laboratory, snarling at Fionna. A chocolate truffle zombie poured in after it, then a zombified gumdrop. The candy cane zombie rose from the shut locker, hissing.
Fionna pushed the cart forward, setting her feet inside. She ducked as Lord Monochromicorn dived for her, and then did a full circle to avoid Cake and the zombie cake. She rolled all the way to the decontamination chamber, and pushed the cart inside. She hit the airlock right before she slammed the glass door close.
In a matter of seconds, zombiefied candy people, along with Cake and Lord Monochromicorn, were pressed against the glass. LSP and Prince Gumball had also climbed inside the room, and were joined inside the crowd. The zombies' breath left brown clouds on the glass, their white saliva dripping from their teeth. Their green eyes glowed menacingly. They growled and growled and growled.
Stage 2 of the infection began. A headache broke into Fionna's skull, hard and fierce. Her temples throbbed in pain. Her lower stomach began to ache badly. The muscles in her legs were sore. Her throat felt thick and dry.
Fionna sank to sit down beside the cart. The bird inside the cage looked at her sadly. Fionna was about to tell it not to worry, that she was going to make a formula...right when she realized that, to her horror, she had left the book outside with the zombies. Fionna blanched in horror. "The book!" she rasped.
A zombie pounded its thick fist on the glass, leaving small, white, spider-web-like lines. Fionna felt a piece of her die. Nothing was going to save her now. Not the glass, not the prince, not herself.
Stage 3 began. Her stomach pains were horrible now, as if her intestines were on fire. Her throat was throbbing immensely, her throat burning raw. Her eyes were sore and her tonsils were swollen.
"I'm sorry, everybody," she rasped. "I couldn't save you...I tried and tried...but I couldn't...you all trusted me...LSP...PG...Cupcake...LM...PP...DooDoo...PooPoo..."
She sighed. She was speaking gibberish now. She turned her head, with a pang of pain in her neck, to look at the bird. She smiled. The bird was cute when it wasn't freaking out. At least she wouldn't die alone. "I'm sorry I got you into this...I'm so sorry...I don't even know your name..."
In answer, the bird flitted to the top of its cage and pointed its right wing at the top. Fionna looked up with bloodshot eyes and saw the inscription in fancy, swirly letters: CHEMISTRY.
"Ca-hem-ess-trai? Oh, Chemistry is your name?" Fionna's eyes were so sore; she almost couldn't read the word. She hummed to herself. Then, a little spark went off in her brain as she remembered.
"Just let chemistry do the work. Chemistry...is...my biiiiiaaaaaaaarrrrrrd..."
Stage 4 began. Fionna's vision began to blur. Her muscles felt as if there was infection in between the layers of tissue. Her stomach was burning, and she thought in horror if the infection was causing her epithelial tissue to deteriorate. What if her stomach acid broke loose and burned away at her insides? Her heartbeat was slow and dull. Her skin was paling, gray at the knees and elbows. Her saliva tasted bitter and gluey, and she wondered if it was white. Her eyes were burning and burning and she wondered if they were green. Her hearing was off, too. The growls and snarls of the zombies were muffled, as if they were behind doors.
Fionna raised her arm (several times, as it dropped limp twice) and, with all her strength, opened the door to the birdcage.
Chemistry flitted out and dove to the notes on the cart. It read them, then nodded its little head and flew over to a small white porcelain box nearby. She flipped it open, causing a small ballerina to pop out, as chinking music began to play. Fionna would have raised an eyebrow, had she had the strength. Chemistry pushed an empty beaker to the middle of the cart with its small strength. It flitted over to a bottle labeled 'SHARP POWDER' and lifted the spoon with its tiny talons, pulling it over to the beaker and dropping its blue contents inside, going back for three more spoons. With its beak, it lifted a testing tube from a rack and dumped its thick, gelatin-like yellow substance inside the beaker with the powder. It pushed over a large bottle cyan liquid close to the beaker, then chirped at Fionna. Fionna raised her hand and, shaking it violently, dumped it inside, the beaker slipping from her hand and breaking on the floor. The last ingredient was bright blue syrup that Chemistry lifted with its talons and dumped inside the beaker.
The formula inside the beaker was bright yellow, fuming and bubbling. Chemistry picked up some kind of turkey-baster thing with its talons and dipped it into the beaker, squeezing it so liquid shot up into the glass. Chemistry flitted over to Fionna—who was panting through her mouth, barely able to breathe anymore—and dropped a single drop of the formula onto her tongue.
Immediately, the cure shot through Fionna's body. Her vision cleared like someone wiping fog off of glass. Her muscles, although a bit stiff, were not aching and felt relatively healthy. Her stomach burns ceased instantly. Her heartbeat shot up to a normal rate. Her skin was quickly coloring in, the gray spots vanishing. Her eyes stopped burning, and the muffled sounds of her hearing broke away clearly. She blinked, then stretched her muscles, humming in comfort as she felt them loosen. She smiled at Chemistry kindly.
"It works!" she cheered. She raised her fist. Chemistry bumped her wing on it.
Cracking noises got their attention. The zombies were pounding on the glass feverishly, creating even more, thicker spider web patterns. There were already holes appearing. It wouldn't be long before the glass broke and they all poured in, coming for Fionna and Chemistry.
"Chemistry, get inside!" Fionna took her thumb and lifted up her hat above her forehead. Chemistry flitted under her hat for safety. "I got a gross plan." Fionna took the large beaker of Decorpserum and, closing her eyes, dumped the whole thing over her body. The liquid was warm and fizzled like carbonated beverage. Her skin tickled and smelled like the stuff Cake used to clean the windows of the Treehouse.
The glass broke, pieces shattering all over the floor and burst in into the air. Fionna braced herself. The zombies poured inside the chamber. Fionna didn't even try to escape. In slow motion, it seemed, the zombies' incredibly sharp claws latched onto her arms and legs, one around her neck. Others pulled at her clothes. The zombies pulled her into the crowd, snarling at her. Fionna squeezed her eyes shut as she felt saliva dripping over her skin, the putrid smell of rotting flesh filling her nostrils. She felt their hot breaths over their skin; their bony teeth drawing close, and let out a long, high-pitched scream.
It was a beautiful day. It was dawn, and the sky was ablaze in bright colors of pink and orange, the clouds like cotton candy. The air was cool and soothing. The Gumball Guardians on either side of the castle were blowing bubbles out of their gargantuan wands, shining pink in the sunlight.
The Candy people were down in the courtyard, celebrating the end of the zombie epidemic. Peppermint Maid had a silver tray of ice cream punch on her arm, and was walking from person to person, offering them drinks. A small table of cheeses, crackers, and chips had been set up, and some people were munching on them. Most of the people, however, were apologizing to one another.
"I'm so sorry I bit you, I don't know what happened..."
"It wasn't me, I swear! It was something else..."
"I probably bit you on purpose, sorry..."
Cake turned to Lord Monochromicorn. They were both perfectly healthy now. Their eyes were normal, their skin was clear, and their teeth had filled out to their usual form. Cake stared at her paws sheepishly. "Sorry for biting you, baby. I couldn't feel my brain."
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Cake laughed nervously, a bright pink blush covering her fur.
Prince Gumball stood at the top of the entrance staircase. He was smiling happily, his pink skin flushed and his eyes bright with glee. He smiled down at his subjects in a way a father would to his children. "And so, my subjects, the Royal Day of Apologizing has come to an end!" He walked over to a nearby Banana Guard, smiling kindly. The Banana Guard held a red ribbon in her hand, with a gold coin hanging from it. Prince Gumball took the ribbon from the Banana Guard and turned to his friend.
Fionna smiled up at her crush. She was free of the zombie infection, not a bad cell in her blood. However, because of her tactic to cure the people, her body was covered in gashed and holes where the zombies had bitten her harshly. They had been treated and covered in bandages. Fionna brushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes as she looked up at the prince.
"And now, I will present the Royal Medal of Honor for Heroic Bravery." Prince Gumball turned to Fionna, raising the ribbon. "Fionna the Human!"
"Yes?"
"Would you please move outta the way?"
"Sure."
Fionna stepped sideways, allowing view of the REAL hero.
Chemistry the bird stood proud and tall on a golden pedestal engraved with its name. It was chirping softly, quickly turning its head left to right to look kindly at the people. Prince Gumball smiled down at his bird.
"Chemistry the Bird! You have saved us from the epidemic, and for that, we are all eternally grateful." Prince Gumball draped the ribbon around the bird's small neck. Chemistry bowed to him in thanks.
Prince Gumball turned back to his crowd of people. He smiled at them all, and raised his arms high. "Citizens of the Candy Kingdom, rejoice!"
The people cheered madly, waving their hands and clapping. A few handfuls of confetti went into the air. Some people hugged one another.
"REJOICE!"
The people cheered harder, yelling and shouting.
"REJOICE!"