MiraBeth sat in a large over-stuffed chair with her ankles crossed casually and her hands folded on her waist looking across the few feet at her counselor. "You have made impressive progress. With the support system you have in place, I see no reason why you can't return to full duty with your shift." MiraBeth nodded once. "You don't seem happy."

"I am." she said with absolutely no affect. "Getting back into my normal routine, my normal life will be good. I am looking forward to my real, normal life. And I do have my boyfriend, my friends, and my partner who are there for me no matter what. Life is good."

"You still don't sound convincing." the counselor said.

"If you want me to jump up and down, that's not my style." she replied.

Walking into her house, MiraBeth dropped onto her sofa and pulled a pillow to her chest. "Now I really have to think." she said out loud. "Going back on duty is going to be hard. So freaking…" She let her head drop to the back of the sofa with a soft thunk.

A ringing telephone woke MiraBeth from a nap she didn't realize she had taken. "Hey, I just heard you were cleared! You get to come back on shift tonight!"

"Ah, no. Not tonight. He didn't say tonight. I need more time to process this." MiraBeth told her friend.

"Well, you better let someone know. They put you on the schedule."

"Crap. Crap. CRAP!" MiraBeth began to tremble as she hung up the phone without saying goodbye. She found her supervisor in her contact list and called. "Sir, I just heard that I am on the schedule for tonight. I am not prepared. The counselor just cleared me and I haven't processed this. I am shakey, I don't have boots, and I haven't been to the range. I can't come tonight. I need one more day. I can't do it. I just can't. I'm not ready. I…"

"Whoa, MiraBeth. I don't know who called you, but you don't have to report until you are ready. We want you back this week, yes, but we aren't going to force you to come back tonight. Don't panic. Breathe. Take a breath. It's okay." He spoke gently and with authority.

"Okay." She sighed. "Okay." She let out another breath. "I will work on the details for tomorrow."

"And I will check in with you around noon. Take care."

When MiraBeth hung up, she began to pace the living room. "Now what? Can I do it? Can I go back out there? The counselor says I can. Really, how often do calls like that happen? Once in a lifetime? Once in two lifetimes?" She paced back and forth with her hands folded behind her head, staring up at the ceiling.

The phone rang.

A deep voice greeted her. "How's my Baby Girl?" She gave a soft giggle at his opening line. "Hey, that doesn't sound like you. How did things go with the counselor?"

"Not that big of a deal, nothing to worry about." she said quietly. "I've been cleared to return to work." He was silent for a second. "I asked to hold off until tomorrow."

"D*mmit. There's no way I can get back to you." he swore. "I want to be with you the first time you go back."

"Roman…"

"You are trying to be strong. Stop. It's hard and I know that. I want to be there and I can't. This isn't right. This just isn't f'ning right." MiraBeth heard Roman flop on the hotel bed. "You need me and I am stuck here." They sat in their respective places listening to each other breathe through the phone.

"The hell with it." Roman said before the line disconnected.