I. Love. You. All. I was seriously so nervous about last chapter, but you all responded to it so well, and I'm so thankful. I personally really liked the chapter, but I didn't know how you all would respond. I'm glad you understood because as much fun as it is to write fluff sometime a good break from it is necessary. On a completely different note that crossover promo! I am so excited for it if you wanna chat about it PM me. Lastly I promise I am working on a new chapter of Their Own Little Family. It's just coming along slowly, but I'm trying I swear.
"1…2…3" Erin quietly mouthed to both Micah and Macy who were standing beside her at the foot of her and Jay's bed. On three they all jumped onto the bed. Well Erin lifted little Macy up onto it before hoping on herself. All three jumped around laughing and yelling. "Wake up daddy! Daddy wake up!"
Jay rolled onto his back. "You guys are going to break the bed!" He laughed hearing the creaking noise it was making. He then grabbed Micah who was closest to him, and pulled him down beginning to tickle him. Micah kicked and flopped around laughing hysterically. Macy didn't want to feel left out, so she jumped onto Jay to make sure she got tickled too.
Erin sat on the bed watching the scene. When Jay was through tickling and everything had calmed down she greeted him. "Good morning, or should I say afternoon, sleepy head."
"Morning beautiful."
Erin leaned in to give him a good morning kiss.
"Eww!" Micah screeched closing his eyes, and covered Macy's with his hands. Macy squealed and giggled. Jay and Erin both chuckled at the kids' reaction.
"Alright, Micah go make sure the Ipad is all charged if you're taking it with you to play on today. Macy go downstairs with your brother and play in the living room. Daddy needs to get dressed, so we can go." Erin instructed them.
The kids scurried out of the bedroom. Erin kicked back on the bed, and Jay got up and shut the door, before heading into the bathroom.
"Eleven o'clock, Halstead. I thought you were going to sleep the day away."
"It's been an exhausting week." He mumbled with a mouthful of toothpaste foam.
"Tell me about it." Erin agreed.
Jay exited the bathroom and headed to his dresser to get dressed for the day. Erin was watching him, or more so admiring him, the entire time. He paused when he had his new clean pair of boxers half way up. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Erin watching him with a smirk on her lips. "Are you checking me out?" He teased.
"Always." She retorted.
He finished pulling on his boxers and walked over taking a seat on the end of the bed. "Come here."
Erin sat up and leaned into him. He kissed her tenderly. After pulling away they sat with their foreheads pressed together for a moment soaking in each other's presence.
"You're okay? You're ready for toady?" Jay asked her in a delicate whisper.
She nodded slightly. "Yeah. She's my best friend. They are your friends to. We can't just pretend that they didn't have a baby. Even if it does sting a little."
He stroked the side of her face then kissed the bridge of her nose. "Okay. I love you." He told her before getting up to finish dressing.
The family of four walked happily into Adam and Kim's house. Kim was sitting on the couch holding her newborn son. Adam was sitting in a chair next to the couch. He stood up when he heard the Halstead's come in.
Macy excitedly ran to her uncle Adam and jumped into his arms. "Hey shorty." He greeted her after throwing her up in the air and catching her.
"I wanna see the baby!" She cheered.
"Go ahead. He's with Aunt Kimmie." He told her setting her back on her feet.
"Congratulations man." Jay walked over and patted Ruzek on the back. "Welcome to fatherhood."
Erin walked straight over to the couch and took a seat next to Kim. She'd already given her congratulations the night he was born at the hospital. Jay stayed home with the kids, so Erin could go to the hospital since Kim is her best friend.
"Hey, mommy. How are you feeling?" Erin asked Kim with a smile.
"I'm great. Tired, but great."
"Get used to it. She's four and I'm still exhausted." Erin joked as Macy crawled up into her lap to get a better look at the baby.
"I wanna hold him, mommy!"
Erin looked at Kim to make sure it was okay and received a quick nod in response. "Okay go sit on the end of the couch." Erin instructed her. She put a throw pillow under Macys arm to make sure she would support the baby's head, and Kim set him in her tiny arms.
A giant grin overtook Macy's face. Erin loved that smile. It only happened when she was extremely excited. "Mommy look at me! I'm holding a baby!" She squealed.
Erin chuckled "Yes I see you. You are doing a very good job."
"I think he likes me mommy." She directed her attention back towards the tiny newborn in her arms. "Hi, Brady. We are going to be friends. I can tell."
After a few more minutes of holding him Macy was done. "Okay my arm hurts."
Kim walked forward to grab her son, but Erin beat her to it. "I got him." Erin told her.
"Okay" Kim nodded with a small worried smile. She wasn't worried about her baby she knew he was fine with Erin. She just knew everything Erin was going through and was cautious about rubbing the baby in Erin's face.
"If you've got him I'm going to check on lunch in the kitchen. Adam can always take him when you're done." Kim spoke.
"I'm good, Kim." Erin reassured her friend.
Erin held the baby in her arms on one side of the living room. She was walking around bouncing him gently while talking to him. Jay watched his wife intently out of the corner of his eyes. He didn't want to coddle her, but he'd be lying if he didn't say he wasn't worried about her. This was all too soon for her. The timing was terrible. The night Kim actually had the baby Erin came home from the hospital and wept. Jay had to hold her all night and comfort her, and that was only a week and a half ago.
Erin didn't get emotional about much, mostly just about her kids. Now the baby she desperately wanted to have, but couldn't was currently occupying the number one spot on the list of things that made her emotional.
"Here go see uncle Ruzek." Jay said standing up taking Macy off his lap and placing her onto Adam's lap. He walked up behind Erin and placed a hand on her waist then leaned his head around and kissed her cheek.
"He's so tiny huh, Jay?"
"Yeah he's a good looking baby too. Must have gotten his looks from his mom!" Jay said loud enough for Ruzek to hear across the room.
"Hey man I heard that!" Ruzek yelled back.
Erin chuckled. "He's very handsome." She leaned forward and kissed the baby's forehead. "He smells like baby too. I wish Macy still smelled like this. I miss it."
"You mean you don't like her usual play-doh and chocolate chip cookie fragrance?" He teased.
"I love it. I just miss this smell… You wanna hold him?"
"Yeah sure."
"Here go see da…" She caught herself. Jay was looking down at the baby being transferred into his arms when he heard her slip up. His head snapped up immediately. "Uncle Jay. Go see uncle Jay." Erin corrected herself.
She gave Jay the baby. "I need some air." She told him turning around heading for the front door.
Damnit Jay thought to himself. He saw the look in her eyes, the look of pain. This is exactly what he was afraid of, and where all of his reservations regarding today came from.
"Lunch is ready." Kim said entering the living room just as Erin was closing the front door.
Jay turned around to face her with the infant in his arms. "Here can you take him. I need to go check on her."
"Of course." Kim nodded giving him a sad grin. She felt bad for Erin. She knew she wasn't doing well.
Jay hurried towards the door and heard Adam and Kim taking Micah and Macy to the kitchen to start lunch.
Erin was standing in the driveway, hands wrapped around her chest, looking down at the ground while kicking around a pebble.
"Er." Jay said softly walking over to her.
She looked up at him, with wet eyes that had yet to shed any tears. "Today isn't supposed to be about me. Today's about Kim, and Adam, and their baby. And when is it going to stop hurting so much, Jay?" She finally cried lightly smacking the side of her hand against Jay's shoulder in defeat. He pulled her into him as she cried into his chest.
"I don't know, baby. I don't know when it will stop hurting, but I wish I could shoulder all of the pain, so you didn't have to feel any of it. I would if I could."
"I'm selfish. I'm a terrible Friend. I want to be happy for them. I'm trying so hard, Jay."
"Hey, you're not a bad friend at all. Kim knows how hard you're trying. The fact that you're here, and went to the hospital when he was born is all anyone could ask for in a friend okay? Nobody thinks you're a bad friend."
"I'm sorry." She whispered. Jay thought she meant she was sorry for crying right now, but that was only the surface of what she was apologizing for.
She was sorry she couldn't give him the baby he wanted so badly. Yes, she was upset for herself that she couldn't get pregnant, but the guilt is what was really causing her so much pain. Jay was so good. He was such an amazing dad, and he deserved to have another child if he wanted one. He was healthy and capable of having another baby, but she couldn't give that to him, and it killed her inside. That's what hurt the worst. The fact that she loved Jay and wanted to give him another child so badly, but just wasn't capable.
"Don't apologize." Jay pulled away and kissed the last few tears away that were on Erin's cheeks. "You ready to go back inside?"
Erin took in a deep and let out an equally as deep exhale before nodding her head yes. Jay kissed her forehead before taking her hand and heading inside.
They entered the kitchen and took the two open seats at the table. Everyone was already eating. Micah told a corny joke and the entire room erupted with laughter.
Erin took the seat next to Kim. After a few seconds Kim reached out and grabbed the hand Erin had resting on the table. She gave it a light squeeze and flashed Erin a knowing, understanding smile.
Erin grinned back with a look of gratitude. That was the reassurance she needed to know that Kim understood, and didn't hold anything against her. She was lucky to have such understanding friends and family.
So this is kind of all of the closure I'm going to give you regarding Erin's infertility, at least for now anyways. This is technically still a one shot series, so expect the next chapter to be a one shot about a completely unrelated topic from the last three. I'm going to try to get you guys a Halloween chapter by Friday, so if you have any ideas for that let me know!