i am the master at sneaking iancorn into stories that aren't supposed to be iancorn. mwahahaha

Lullaby - Shawn Mullins

Marhinki

Mari was worried. Matt hadn't called her all day, nor had he texted her. She basically had no proof that he was living that day, and she was concerned as to why. It was the evening. She had just finished filming Smosh Pit Weekly and wanted to pay her friend a visit. She texted him, letting him know that she was coming over. She knew where the spare key was, and she was determined to get to it.

However, when she checked, it wasn't there. There was a familiar car parked across the street. She had seen it before several times, probably in the parking lot at work. She tried to door, and it was unlocked.

"Hello?" She called loudly.

Hurried footsteps came down the stairs, "Hey, shut up, will y-Oh, hey Mari."

"David?" She frowned, "Why are you so angry?"

"Be quiet. Matt's upstairs." He stopped in front of the door, "I was just leaving."

"Why are you here anyway?" She asked, confused.

"I dropped Matt off some soup. It's on the counter." He shrugged, "He's not feeling too well."

"Did he tell you that?"

David nodded, "He called in sick this morning."

"He did?"

"Well, he called me and told me he was sick."

She sighed, "I'll go bring him the soup."

"Make sure to sing him something."

"What?" Mari frowned, "No, I don't sing."

David shrugged, grinning as if he had the upper hand in this conversation, "You know he likes that. I know he likes you. I know you like him."

"I know you're fucking Ian." Mari now had the upper hand.

He stared at her before flipping her off and slamming the door behind him.

She laughed as he stormed down to his car. She shook her head and grabbed the bowl of soup. While the soup was heating, she got a text from 'Lasercorn.'

'For the record, that conversation never happened.'

She looked out the window. His car was now right in front of Matt's yard. She waved and smiled at him innocently. He frowned and drove off.

'Sure thing. Tell Ian I say hi.' She responded before shoving her phone in her pocket and carefully taking the soup upstairs.

She knocked softly on the door.

"Go away, David."

"David's gone, Sohinki." Mari opened the door just a crack, "May I come in?"

"Oh, Mari." Matt smiled weakly, sitting up slightly, "I thought you were David. Of course you can come in."

"Thank you." She stepped inside, "I heated up David's soup. He's in a cranky mood today. Pray he didn't poison it."

"I noticed that too. What's gotten into him?"

Ian.

"Nothing. I'm sure it's just a bad day. Everyone has them."

"That's true." He shrugged, "It just seems like today more than any other days, something rubbed him the wrong way."

Ian.

"I'm sure it's just a bad day." She tried not to laugh.

"Why don't you eat it first?" Matt grinned, "To make sure he hasn't poisoned me. You're more disposable than me. We can find another hot chick to replace you. You can't find someone to replace me."

Mari wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad. Matt had called her hot, but he had also called her replaceable.

"I'm fully kidding, Mari." He put his hand on hers, "No hot chick would be as fun as you."

She smiled, "Thanks, Matt."

"If I wasn't so sick I'd offer to take you to dinner tonight."

She looked down at him, "Well, David beat you to it."

"What?" He frowned, "I thought-"

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that David beat us both to dinner. He brought soup. I'm not going to dinner with him." She shuddered, "Not on a day like this."

Matt opened his mouth to speak, but Mari held her hand up. She couldn't handle Matt saying something that was accidentally sexual when Ian was involved.

'hey fuck you mari' She checked her phone, with a follow up text, 'ian says hello back and he also is making me apologize for my previous text'

She tossed her phone on the bed and sat beside Matt, "I'm guessing you're strong enough to feed yourself some soup?"

He nodded, "Yeah, but stay here. It would be nice. I need someone who isn't as butt sore as David."

Mari closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Is something wrong?" Matt grinned.

"No, everything is fine." She nodded, reaching for her phone and texting David back.

'hey /loser/corn, matt wants to know what gotten into you lately, whats rubbed you the wrong way, and why you're so butt sore today. direct quotes.'

"Who're you texting?" Matt tried to look at her screen, but she pulled it away.

"David."

"What about him?"

"I thought I'd cheer him up on a rough day. I seem to be good at that." She smiled at him.

Matt nodded, "You are pretty good at it. I'm feeling better already."

Mari began humming as Matt put the bowl of soup up.

"There's more in a container in the fridge if you want it." Mari said, anxiously awaiting David's reply.

'you know what it is don't act like you dont' followed by 'Ian says you should sing him a song.'

'Come on, lasercorn, what's gotten in to you lately? or should i say...who's gotten in to you lately ;D'

"How's he feeling?"

"He wants me to sing for you." Mari replied.

"Will you?" Matt looked up at her hopefully.

"Actually, I don't really sing." Mari looked down, "I mean, I can, and I'm okay at it, but I just don't. Lasercorn only knows because he was at some bar where there was karaoke and one of my friends convinced me to sing so I did, not knowing he was there until halfway through the song when I saw him recording it."

"I assume you beat him up after?"

She shook her head, "I hired someone to do it for me."

Matt laughed, "That's the smart way to go. Now come on, sing me something. I'm exhausted, I'll probably fall asleep and forget it ever happened."

"Alright..." She frowned.

"When I feel better, I'll take you to dinner, I promise."

She couldn't help but smile, "Thank you."

All insecurities about singing him to sleep were gone when she realized that she'd have a date with him. After the first few songs, he was out cold and she left the house, sitting in her car.

'It worked. We have a date.' She texted David.

'You could've just asked me, you know.'

'Asked you what? Out? Hell no.'

'Gee thanks. No, I meant you could've just asked me if he liked you.'

'You knew?'

'Of course I knew. He's my best friend.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I did. you were just too busy making fun of me to notice. could've saved you a lot of time'

'You asshole'

'Watch your language'

'looks who's talking mister hey fuck you mari'

'i'm rolling my eyes at you.'

'why didn't you tell me sooner?'

'I tried to.'

She stared at her phone. She couldn't deal with him right now.

'maybe you should eat some of that magical feel better soup. you're cranky today'

'because someone cracked my secret'

Mari grinned and turned the radio on.

'i can't hear you over the sound of sohinki telling me he'd take me to dinner. you can't spoil my mood no matter how hard you try'

'how'd you get him to ask you?'

'i told him i'd sing for him'

'and guess who told him singing is a big deal for you, so he realized if you opened up to him that much, he might as well ask'

Mari didn't have time to send a reply. She just stared at the screen. Did David really do that for her? Did he actually care about her that much to make this happen for her? Most importantly, did he really get off Ian's dick for more than five seconds to talk to Matt about her?

She felt bad for making fun of him now, and really bad for telling him how grumpy he was, even if he needed to hear it.

'yours truly. now go away i'm busy with something'

'or someone' Mari laughed at her own stupid joke.

'shut up. go sing your new boyfriend a song or something'

She smiled and set her phone down. She began humming along with the radio as she drove, anxious for Matt to feel better. She stopped by a convenient store to grab a voice recording card and a sharpie.

Thanks for being a good friend. I didn't realize you were plotting behind my back to get Matt to like me. I would've totally done the same thing, but it seems you've already gotten yourself someone. This card sings the first song I sang Matt. It was also the song you heard at the bar. Thanks for helping me. I won't tell anyone about our conversation earlier. In fact, I don't even remember what to conversation was about. Thanks again, Mari

She dropped it off in David's mailbox before driving home.