"Look this really isn't necessary." the Doctor said firmly as the doors of the TARDIS were knocked open, Amy and Rory holding him under an armpit each, dragging him backwards out of the blue Policebox. River Song strutted after them, a smile on her lips from seeing the Doctor manhandled like that. Anything that knocked him down to a human level was alright by her.
"I believe it is sweetie," River said as she walked after them, keeping eye contact with the Doctor the entire time "You keep going on your adventures, keeping heading off alone, and not once have I heard of you going to see if all your bumps and scrapes over the years have actually fully healed."
"I'm a Timelord," the Doctor said, whipping out his all purpose excuse to get out of anything "We regenerate, I have come back from falls, taking the time vortex into my own head, radiation poisoning, spiders! Both! Let go!" He kicked out uselessly, Rory adjusting his grip as the Doctor wriggled like a fussy child.
"You only regenerate when you're near death," River said, giving the Doctor a disappointed pout "That doesn't mean you recover from every scrape. Remember that fall on Crinus the Shivering Moon?"
"It's been a few hundred years since your last regeneration Doctor." Amy said, reaching out to rattle the doorknob of the broom closet they'd materialised in. While most of the time a large blue Policebox would be out of place in a completely white and mostly unoccupied broom closet, Amy knew it would be safe to leave it in here. The Doctor had explained it once, something to do with a chameleon chip or something, if you didn't know it was there you didn't see it was there. Rory hadn't been too pleased when Amy had compared it to his awkward middle-school phase, but the comparison was good enough. "Doors locked." She said, stepping back from the frame and frowning at it.
"Well, we certainly can't have that..." River said with a sigh, shaking her head and slipping a pair of lock picking tools from a secretive pocket and kneeling down before the lock.
"I thought I'd told you to get rid of those things." The Doctor said, trying to speak over his own shoulder as Rory and Amy held him at their mercy.
"Exactly the reason I still have them," River said with a smile "If you tell me not to do something, well, I just know it's going to come of use." There was a click, she stood up, and resumed her spot of gloating over the Doctor.
"That was quick." The Doctor muttered as he was dragged on, not even resisting any more, just letting his shoes scuff along the pristine white floor.
"I've had plenty of experience escaping." River said with a smile, following the others out of the now open door and into a hallway. It was as white and spotless as the broom closet, something that caught Rory's eye.
"You say this is a Hospital?" he asked, turning his head towards River slightly, having to squint a little from how stark the light felt in such a distinctly white room. His migraine from all the doctor's talking was not going away, and the stark white walls were not helping ease his discomfort.
"Not just a hospital." The Doctor was the one to respond, since he could do very little but wriggle his feet at the moment he was more than happy to field any questions as River tried to figure out what direction to go in. "This is Hippocratus 4, part of the medical moon chain that circles the planet Apollo. The very height of thirty first century health care; before everything got all weird and secular in the thirty second." The Doctor was in his lecturing mode, which meant it would be quite difficult to shut him up, even as the others decided on what direction they should be heading and dragged him along the corridors, he continued talking. "Partly automated, wonderful electronics this century, but still with that important human element. Good beds too, decent food, it's no Hippocratus 5, or the Sauna Asteroids of the Steam Goddess, but what is in this day and age? All in all, one of the better places to get treated I suppose." He arched his back suddenly, tugging his arms as he tried to ground his feet and pull free of Rory and Amy, but his companions held tight and he merely wriggled like a hooked salmon. He fell back onto his heels, letting out a breath and muttering "Though I'd rather if I didn't stay at all."
"Hello?" Amy called out as they finally edged through a pair of swinging double doors into what looked like a waiting room. It certainly had enough chairs to be a waiting room, all set up in neat lines up around the walls, with the occasional one or two free roaming as chairs were want to do.
"Are you SURE this is a Hospital?" Rory asked again, eyes scanning the completely empty waiting room. He used to be a nurse, technically he still was, but he had never seen such a hospital as empty as this. He couldn't even hear people in the distance, and with such bare, empty rooms and corridors, surely the sounds would echo like anything.
"You'd think there'd be some staff around or something..." Amy said, as if agreeing with Rory's unspoken worries. They stepped forward again, and some hidden motion sensor let out a joyful little "bing" at their presence. A hatch slid open at the head of the room, revealing a skinny robot, its blank screen taking a second to boot up a pair of vacant LED eyes, giving it a look of passive acceptance.
"That'll be the receptionist." River said with a sigh, trying to hide the fact she'd been taken aback slightly at the sudden appearance of the robot. Even after all this time with the Doctor, she could never get used to things that jumped out at you. Maybe it was the fact she had spent so much time with the Doctor, his adventures gave you somewhat of a nervous disposition. She strode across the room, leading the charge to the small alcove the receptionist appeared to live in.
"Hello there," she said, keeping confidence in her voice even when talking to the machine "We're here for an appointment? For a Mr John Smith?" There was a moment of silence, then the robot jerked upright suddenly, as if it had just realised there were people in the room. It turned its blank eyes to River, then slowly took in the Doctor's restrained position, and the two po-faced figures of Amy and Rory.
"Patients?" it said in soothing tones, processing something behind that impassive face, before turning to stare at River again "Currently one hundred and seventeen patients are booked in under the moniker Mr John Smith. Was the appointment made under any other names to cross reference?"
"Ah, yes... it's also under..." River tapped her chin, it hadn't been that long ago she'd made the appointment, in terms for her that is. It had been several years in reality, but reality didn't bother with time travellers too much "Verity Lambert I believe." She gave herself a little smile. She only used Verity when there was a high chance that she wouldn't be arrested. Probably.
"And your assistants?" the robot asked, the blank gaze returning to Amy and Rory with a soft whir of motors.
River was about to open her mouth to give a convincing lie before she heard the other two speak up. "Amy" "Rory", they said, their honesty the bane of professionals like River. She avoided rolling her eyes at them and simply nodded, as if confirming this "They're here for... emotional support." The robot seemed to be taking some time to consider this... or perhaps it was just processing the Doctor's appointment.
"Uh, excuse me..." Rory said, leaning forward slightly, as if conspiring with the receptionist "Where is everyone? This place is dead." There was a moment of silence. The Doctor looked over his shoulder towards Rory, as if questioning if he'd actually just said that. "I mean... it's empty." Rory corrected himself after a second.
The robot stared on, face blank, before letting out a small chime and replying "Your initial appointment is through the doors, to the left, and follow indicators for the East Wing." Rory stared expectantly at the robot, waiting for an answer to his question. "The patients are being taken care of." the robot replied casually.
"What about the doctors?" Rory asked, looking around as he kept his hold on his own Doctor "There's got to be one around here somewhere right?"
"They are with the patients." the robot said, somehow looking at him and through him at the same time.
"Look, this is all very demeaning," the Doctor said finally "Can we please just get on with it?" He couldn't rightly escape until Amy and Rory let go of him, and they weren't going to do that until they got to the first doctor's office.
"Through the doors. To the left. East wing." the robotic receptionist repeated, before its hatch slid shut and left Amy, Rory, River and the Doctor alone in the room again, with naught but chairs for company.
"Come on then." River said, a little unsettled by that whole interaction. She nodded towards the doors they'd entered through not long before, leading their little troupe off to go attend the Doctor's first appointment.