Disclaimer: is not, was not, and never will be mine! All credit to the incredible JK Rowling! I do own the plot and some characters though!

Chapter 9: Haunted by the Previous Future

11pm on Wednesday night saw one Sirius Black downstairs in the Gryffindor common room sitting on the window seat, deep in thought. Something had changed this year. Not just the fact that they had OWLS or that his friendship group had more than doubled. No, he was the one who had changed. They were currently approaching the end of October, and Sirius hadn't been with a girl at all; and that wasn't even the big deal! The thing was, he didn't want to be with just any girl. Not since whenever he closed his eyes he drowned in warm chocolate, or that his ears rung with a certain witch's tinkling, secretive laugh. Because since day one, though he would never admit it, Hermione Jean Granger held power over him. He didn't know what was happening to him, all he knew was he worked each day to make her smile and laugh. He wanted to always be the reason behind her happiness. What was happening to him? He was Sirius Black, notorious womaniser, and proud of it. He wasn't James! He could never want one bird, that wasn't who he was.

"Sirius? What are you doing mate, it's half eleven!" Sirius's head whipped around to see his adoptive brother, and he smiled uncertainly. "Just thinking mate" James mock gasped in horror, "WHAT? Thinking is dangerous for you; your few brain cells can't take it! You promised you wouldn't leave me, so don't cause your brain to spontaneously combust!" Despite Sirius's strange mood, he barked a laugh; this was why he loved James! As his smile slowly faded, he regarded James thoughtfully. Surely, if anyone was to understand, it would be his best mate. "Hey, Jamsie? Can I ask you something? Hypothetically of course..." James looked at him curiously, and nodded. "You know when you realised you were in love with Lily, in third year? And you realised it wasn't just because she hated you that you wanted her attention? Did it feel like you would never want anyone else, because they weren't her? Or like your days revolved around trying to make her smile? Uh hypothetically... just curious" Sirius coughed awkwardly at the end, and looked away. In turn, James was openly gaping at his best friend. Sirius sounded like... well, like he was in love! But that wasn't right, what about all the girls? Wait... had there even been any girls this year so far? Surely there had been... right?

"Explain Siri, and don't give me any of this hypothetical shit" James looked at his seriously, no pun intended. "I don't know James, it doesn't matter go back up, I'll be up in a bit" Sirius backed out; for some reason he was terrified of the direction this conversation could go. He wasn't ready to accept it. "We've been best friends for five years, and you just tried to ask me to back off. You have to talk to me mate, it's not a choice" Sirius sighed. "Okay fine, but only because I know you won't get off my back otherwise. Things have changed, I've changed. I haven't got with a single bird this term, and I don't even want to! What's happening to me? All I want is one person, and I don't even want to get with her, or have my way with her... I just want to make her smile and laugh, but I want to be able to look at her and say, she's mine" Sirius's eyes widened in shock when he had finished. He didn't even know half of what had come out of his mouth! Or more like he hadn't accepted it. James was looking at him, equally shocked, but a smile slowly spread across his face and turned into a full blown grin. "You're in love! Oh, my boy's all grown up! Who is she? Who's the lucky gi – oh Merlin! Its Hermione isn't it? I've noticed how close you two are!" He knew there was a reason James was his best friend; they could read each other perfectly. He hoped it wasn't that obvious to everyone else though, Merlin that would be awful! "What do I do James? I don't think she likes me like that, and I've never felt like this..." James grinned at Sirius. Finally, Sirius would understand how he had been feeling all these years with Lily! "It's Hogsmead this weekend mate, ask her to go with you" Sirius felt nervous at the idea, but agreed anyway.

Meanwhile in the girl's dorm, they were all wide awake and giggling. Since the fifth years had two free periods tomorrow morning, they had decided to stay up late and then sleep in. They were currently sharing secrets with each other. Marlene had just admitted to doing things with both the Prewitt brothers, much to the other's amusement. "Honestly Marls, have you no shame?" Lily asked, before collapsing into another fit of giggles, to Marlene's annoyance. "Shut up you bitches! It wasn't a proud moment okay? Can't believe I trusted you all with this, I'm never going to live it down" Hermione looked at the four girls gathered around her happily. They had come to mean so much to her over the last couple of months, and she knew she was stuck here; she would never see Ginny as she had known her in the past. That hurt her, and when she wasn't with the girls or the marauders, she couldn't feel that hole inside her; she couldn't cope with it when she was alone. As a result, she was always with someone, and she tried her best to ensure she was never by herself. Not a day went by when she didn't miss everyone back home, and she still cried herself to sleep most nights, but it was getting better.

"Alright, this question is for Sof and Eve, alright? I know you don't like talking about Benjy, but that's the only way you can get over him, and he doesn't deserve your pain. So how far did you go with him? Same to you Eve, with Xeno" Marlene grinned evilly at the two girls who were furiously blushing. "Neither of us are sluts like you Marls" Evanna teased. Marlene pouted, knowing they were right. She just couldn't wait until one of them did something so she could talk about it. "Oooh Mione, we haven't targeted you yet!" Hermione glared at her best friend. Damn the redhead's good memory, she wanted to avoid these questions! "That's right, you can't get away with laughing at our expense only! Got your eye on anyone? I know a certain dark haired heartbreaker seems to only have eyes for you!" Marlene winked at Hermione, who blushed furiously. "What, S-Sirius? There's nothing going on, we're just friends. Anyway, he'd never like me when he can get anyone in school". Though she swore to be more confident in how she acted, that didn't mean Hermione had any more confidence in herself. On the contrary, she still didn't regard herself as anything special. The girls stared at her in surprise; she truly didn't know how gorgeous she was! "I bet you, right here, five galleons that he likes you. And don't talk yourself down, because you are stunning!" Lily left no more room for discussion, and as the time read twelve thirty, the girls drifted off.

The next day, Sirius was planning to ask Hermione to Hogsmead, before he lost his nerve. The perfect opportunity arose on their walk back from tea, where the two of them were walking ahead of the others. Unknown to them, James had whispered it all to the girls and they were trying to get them alone to sort things out. Marlene and Lily were beaming, the latter now knowing she was five galleons richer. James had told Sirius to talk to her in an abandoned charms classroom, knowing that there was a neighbouring classroom where they could all wait and listen in. "Hey Mione, can I speak to you for a minute?" Hermione looked at Sirius's nervous smile in surprise, but nodded. "Hey, we'll catch up with you lot later, okay?" Hermione turned round to tell the others. As they walked away, she couldn't help but feel uneasy; especially considering Marlene's smirk as she had walked past. Sirius gently grabbed her upper arm and guided her into the abandoned charms classroom and shut the door, unknowing that the people he needed to worry about were next door and listening intently.

"Look Mione, I know you haven't known me before this year and have nothing to compare me to, so you might not understand this as much as the others. But I've changed. A lot. Before this year, I never really liked girls, I just met up with them for some fun. And yes I know, that's disrespectful, mean... say it all, I know it's true. This year though, I haven't even looked at many girls, because I only see one face everywhere." Sirius took a deep breath. This was harder than he thought!

Hermione couldn't help but feel a rush of jealousy towards Sirius's unknown love. Why was he telling her this? Did he want her advice? Because she knew that he was closest to her out of the girls in their group."So what, you want my advice Siri?" Hermione tried to keep her voice from shaking. Why was this painful for her? He was just a friend. A good one sure, but that was all. She didn't like him, not like that. He is gorgeous... she thought. And funny, sweet, caring, protective... But also her best friend's godfather! How wrong was that, seriously. And Ron... She couldn't just forget him like that. She had loved him. No, she still loved him!

"I suppose you could look at it like that... what do you think Mione, should I tell her?" Sirius looked at her, unsure of what he wanted her answer to be. If she said no, then he was maybe saved from the possibility of ruining their friendship. But with his feelings getting stronger, he wasn't sure if he could settle for just friendship, and then watch as she fell for someone else. No, telling her was the right thing to do.

"You should tell her. Any girl would be lucky to have you, especially if you care for her as much as you just said you do" Hermione sucked in a painful breath. Regardless of her confusing feelings, she ultimately wanted Sirius to be happy. And she had no right to feel like this, just because he liked someone. He wasn't her boyfriend, she didn't even like him like that...

"You're right Mione, and I was hoping you would agree" here goes nothing, thought Sirius. "It's you. Ever since the first time I looked into your eyes, I was lost. I've never felt like this and for a long time I tried to hide from it, but I can't anymore. I really like you Hermione, you've changed me. I haven't so much as looked at another girl, because all I see is you, even when I close my eyes. Will you go to Hogsmead with me?" Sirius took a deep breath. At least it was out there now, he couldn't take it back.

Hermione was in shock. Me? No, it can't be, maybe he's practicing on me or something, for when he confesses to the mystery girl... but as she stared at him in shock and met his eyes, she saw nothing but sincerity and nervousness. "No..." she breathed, her heart breaking. "What?" Sirius yelped in surprise. Was she turning him down? "I said no Sirius. I'm so sorry, but I can't go with you to Hogsmead!" Hermione felt tears threaten to overflow, but she tried her hardest to keep them in check. "What, why? Is it something I said? Did I do it wrong? Mione please, I really like you... Girls would love to be in your place right now!" As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt a strong wave of horror and regret. He saw pain and anger flash in Hermione's eyes, the latter winning out. "Well go and ask them Sirius Black, and they can consider themselves lucky. Because none of them are ENGAGED!" she finally let the tears overflow as she ran from the room, and tore up to Gryffindor tower.

In the next room, the group exchanged shocked and horrified glances. Engaged?

A/N

So there it is! that's definitely my longest chapter so far, hope you're all proud of me! :D
As for my update pattern, I think i'll update two or three times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.

Reviews:
annieca - YOU ARE AMAZING! Your reviews make my day, and thank you for taking the time to review! I know, I always thought Regulus to be a slightly more surly and quiet version of Sirius, and I thought he would look up to him. Afterall, he was his big brother. I imagine when he was sorted into Gryffindor things would be ruined between them, but they're still brothers. I also think that the pureblood upbringing would have a huge inpact on how people lead their lives, obviously Malfoy being a great example. Just because Sirius turned his back on it, doesn't mean that it isn't still rooted within him. Okay so, since your reviews are awesome, I'm going to directly ask you the question I asked a few chapters ago in my authors note. With the plot, obvoiusly Mione can't start saving people until after Hogwarts, but like I said, starting in fifth year is key, as you will see later. so what do you think I should do? the options are, 1) cover fifth in detail, skip sixth and cover seventh as a sequel, then post-hogwarts as the next sequel, 2) briefly cover fifth and sixth together as one, and then seventh and post-hogwarts in more detail in a sequel or 3) cover fifth as one book, then just ignore sixth completely and go on to seventh and post hogwarts. OR any other idea you have! Help me out PLEASEEEEE. I'm relying on you! feel free to PM me or something!

That goes to anyone else as well, I need feedback!

Love you all as always
Rads x