I know it's been forever since I posted one of these one shots, but I'm starting to get more motivation to go back to writing these characters, so I may update again soon. Sorry for the wait.
Whenever she was upset, Jay knew exactly how he'd find her. After so many years, she was completely predictable. She'd go upstairs to their bedroom, drop her jeans at the side of the bed, and crawl in beneath the covers. She'd cover her entire body with the blankets, even her head. He knew that after a minute she'd get claustrophobic with the blanket over her face, so she always make an adorable little cocoon where she'd pull the covers over her head, but leave a tiny opening for her mouth and nose so she could breathe. He knew she needed a few minutes before he went to check on her, so he gave her that time. When he finally went upstairs, he found her exactly how he knew he would, wrapped up in her blanket cocoon.
Quietly, he walked to the bed and gently pressed his lips to hers. Her lips pushed back slightly, letting him know that she was awake. He crawled over her to his own side of the bed, and snuggled in close, wrapping an arm around her waist.
"Hey, it wasn't bad news, baby." It had been just over 4 month since they had been told that Erin would not be able to conceive another child. At first, Jay didn't push her to talk about their other options. She wasn't coping well with the news and he didn't want to make things worse, but as time passed, he realized that they needed to stop avoiding it. He was finally able to convince her to meet with a fertility specialist.
"We're you at the same appointment as me, Jay? He said surgery."
"The regular doctor told us it was impossible. Today we were told that there's a chance. With a minor surgery, we can still have another baby, Erin. That's what we wanted. We wanted to know that there's a chance, and today we were given that."
"Do you remember the two main concerns I had when we first talked about the idea of another baby? I was worried about if we could afford it, and if it would take to much time away from the two kids we already do have. Surgery is going to cost both time and money Jay. The two things I was worried about."
"Erin, we can afford this. We have money put away. That's not an issue."
"We have money put away for emergencies, Jay."
"Erin, I promise you, if this surgery is something we decided to do, we will be able to afford it."
"Fine, let's say I do get the scar tissue removed from my fallopian tubes, then there's a 2-3 day hospital stay, 4-6 weeks off work, and then only a 20-30 percent chance it'll change anything. Only 20-30 percent of women get pregnant after this surgery, Jay. Is that chance even worth it?"
"I think any chance more then the one we've got right now is worth it. I don't want to convince you to do this, and then have you hate me if it doesn't work though."
"I wouldn't hate you, Jay. It's just… I don't know."
"It's your body, and I don't want to convince you to do something that you're not sure about. Why don't you just take a few days to think about it?"
She nodded slightly. "Okay. That's a good idea."
Jay scooted in closer against her, and placed a gentle kiss beneath her ear. "Thank you." He whispered.
Erin looked over her shoulder at him confusedly. "For what?"
"For agreeing to go today. I needed to know what the chances were."
With a sigh, she laced their fingers together. "I love you, Jay. I hope you know that my reservations have nothing to do with not loving you, or not wanting to give you another child."
"Of course I know that. I know you're afraid to get your hopes up, and then not have it happen."
"I'm more afraid of getting your hopes up. I don't want to disappoint you all over again if it doesn't work."
He sat up onto his elbow. "Erin, look at me." He convinced her to roll onto her back so she was staring straight up at him. "Did I somehow make you think that I blame you for this, or that I'm disappointed in you? I have never blamed you at all. I can't. This isn't your fault, and if I made you think that for even a second, I'm so sorry. I love you whether you get this surgery or not, and whether it works or not. You won't disappoint me."
She didn't want to make eye contact with him as she spoke in a breaking whisper. "You're an amazing father Jay, and you deserve to be a daddy again. I hate being the reason you might not get that."
"Hey, Please look at me?" He pleaded with her, and in return she looked up at with big glazed eyes. "Regardless of what you decide, we can still have another baby. There are more options, Erin. We adopted Micah, and we could always do that again. We're gonna figure something out. Like I said, just take some time to think for a few days, and see what you decide about the surgery."
"Alright I'll keep thinking about it" She nodded in agreement. "And I already know you told Hank we weren't coming back in today, so you don't have to pretend to go call him."
With a breathy laugh he leaned in closer to her. "You caught me," He whispered as he pressed a quick kiss to her lips. They stayed silent for a while, Erin wrapped in his arms. Jay was sure her mind was spinning, deciding what she wanted to do.
Erin felt Jay kink his neck to look at the alarm clock, but she wasn't ready to open her eyes herself. "What time is it?" He raspy voice echoed through the silence of the house. They weren't used to being home without the kids so it was strangely quiet.
"Two thirty, why?"
"They get out of school in an hour. Do you want to pick them up from school and surprise them, instead of getting them from daycare? We're never out of work in time to get them from school."
"Sure, we can take them to get an early dinner."
"I could really use a chocolate milkshake today." She laughed.
"Macy always thinks she could use a chocolate milkshake, so I don't think you'll be met with any objections there."
"Daddy!" Macy shrieked as she ran to her parents waiting outside the entrance of the school. Jay scooped her, and her Disney Princess backpack up into his arms. "What are you guys doing here, daddy? You never get us from school."
Micah walked over right before Jay was about to explain why they were there. He gave Erin a quick side hug, but at nine years old he thought he was way to cool to for a real hug from mom at school.
"Mommy and I got out of work early and we thought we'd get you guys, and go get some burgers and milkshakes. What do you think?"
Macy's eyes grew wide as she took in a dramatic gasp. "Yes, I want a chocolate shake with a cherry on top!"
"Then lets get out of here!" Erin chimed in while leading the pack to the car.
The moment they sat in the booth, Micah and Erin on one side and Jay and Macy on the other, Jay shot his straw wrapper across the table, hitting Micah in the forehead.
"Dad!" Micah scolded but couldn't help but laugh as he shot his own straw wrapper back. Jay caught it in the air.
Macy made an attempt to shoot her wrapper too, but it already had a hole in it, so Erin traded her straws, and Macy got Jay right in the side of the head.
Thankfully it was early and they were one of the only occupied tables at the restaurant, because they were all laughing, joking, and being loud. Erin loved watching him interact with the kids. Jay could be like a big kid himself, so he always had them smiling and laughing.
"Why are we getting shakes anyways? Is it because I've been extra good lately?" Macy asked her parents.
"You've been good lately?" Jay asked as though he was taken aback by the idea.
"Uh yeah!" She replied sassily. "I've been really good, daddy. Haven't I mommy?"
"You have not been good! You threw a temper tantrum this morning when mom told you had to wear socks because it's cold out." Micah threw in his two cents.
"I didn't ask you, Mic. Besides I've been better then you. At least I didn't get sent to the hallway today at school. I saw you when my class was leaving the library." Her little head moved back and forth sassily.
"You little tattle tail!" Micah yelled back across the table.
"That's enough." Jay made an attempt to stop the arguing. Both kids slouched and glared at each other across the table. Macy stuck her tongue out once for good measure.
"So, you got sent to the hallway today?" Erin finally asked turning towards her son.
"It was a misunderstanding mom." His tone telling how annoyed he still was with his sister for ratting him out.
Erin raised her eyebrows trying not to smile. "A misunderstanding huh? What exactly was misunderstood?"
"Well you see, I guess quiet work time means no talking at all, and no talking at all also means no whispering. I was just trying to tell my friend something, but Mrs. Allen sent me to the hall."
"So you mean to tell me that you've been in school since September and it's now February, and you didn't know the rules of quiet work time?" Jay asked doubtfully.
Micah carefully thought about his answer for a moment. "I think I must have forgot the rules."
Jay and Erin both couldn't help but laugh at his response. "Well no more getting sent to the hallway you understand?" Jay asked him.
"Yeah, I got it." Micah mumbled in response.
For the next hour they ate, told stories, laughed, and enjoyed their family time. At first, Erin thought going out would be a distraction from the decision she knew she needed to make soon. Jay would be patient, but she didn't want to keep him waiting. The more she sat with her family, the more she couldn't stop thinking about what came next.
They walked out of the restaurant, Jay and Erin hand in hand, the kids a few steps ahead of them on the sidewalk. Micah stopped to let Macy get on his back, offering to carry her piggyback to their car. Erin grinned watching the pair. They could go from arguing like they were in the restaurant one minute, to being best friends the next. Their sweet giggles could be heard down the sidewalk, only reinforcing Erin's grin.
"What?" Jay asked with a curious smile looking over to her.
"Nothing. I just love them. Micah acts just like you. The way he was trying to defend himself for getting in trouble at school today was so you Halstead."
"Yeah, well that little girl is all you. That sassy little attitude is an Erin Lindsay trait."
"Hey, you're pretty sassy yourself detective." She jokingly elbowed his side. "Also, it's Erin Halstead now, and don't you forget it."
"Trust me not a day has gone by where I haven't remembered how lucky I am to have Erin, Micah, and Macy Halstead."
"Would you still feel that way if I decided not to go through with the surgery?"
She watched his Adam's apple bob as she took in a gulp of air. "Yeah. I'd still be the luckiest guy in the world… Does this mean you've made your decision?"
"No. I just… I wanted to make sure."
Erin tucked the kids in for bed that night. Macy picked out her bedtime story, and it happened to be Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Both of her kids had loved that book. The cover was worn and a few pages were starting to tear. When Micah was younger, and she was pregnant with Macy, Jay would let Micah pick a book every night that he would go on to read to Micah and their unborn child. More often then not he chose Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.
When the story was over she ran a hand over the cover recalling the memories, kissed Macy's forehead goodnight, and turned on her daughters night-light. She brought the book with her as she poked her head into Micah's door way. "Lights out, bud. See you in the morning."
Erin brought the book with her back downstairs, and took a seat on the couch beside Jay, who was watching baseball. She grabbed his arm and wrapped it around her own shoulders and leaned into his side.
Jay kissed her temple before noticing the colorful cover of the picture book. "Whatcha got there, Er?"
She held the book out to him making him laugh. "Some light reading for ya?" He teased her.
"I don't need a few more days to decide."
Jay muted the television, his features growing serious in anticipation of what she might say next.
"You think it will work?" She asked him.
Jay nodded. "Yeah I really do."
"Will you promise to read to the baby every night like you did when I was pregnant with Macy?" She knew she should start thinking positively. If she was getting the surgery, she had to believe that it would work.
His sober expression was immediately replaced with one of the largest smiles she had ever seen him wear. "I promise. Every night. I promise."
"I guess we should call doctor Ikram in the morning then." Her smile rivaled his.
Letting out a laugh of disbelief Jay nodded, and cupped Erin's face in his hands, whispering before kissing her. "I guess we should."