I dont own durarara.

Parts taken from the original manga.

Please leave review because it makes (me) the author ever so grateful!

You can kill a man with those words.
No gun.
No bullets.
Just words and a girl."
― Markus Zusak, I am a Messenger

The night laid heavy around me, like a part of my soul had leaked out and darkened the night.

Ikebukuro was always crowded but I knew for a fact that these streets would be empty, the only people sneaking around this part of the city was tugs and low life criminals and of course me.

I pulled my jacket closer around me, I knew Ikebukuro like the back of my hand. It's network of streets burned into my eyelids.

It had taken longer than I liked getting here, my bruised body complaining by every step, still i didn't let it show. Every weakness shown to the world was meant to be used.

The shade of a man appeared around the next corner, only visible thru the vague light from a lamppost.

He looked like they usually did, his hair tucked away under a cap, an over sized jacket hanged down to his knees, while a pair of baggy jeans almost hid a pair of worn out sneakers.

"Izaya Orihara, i wish I could say it was a pleasure but-" the man said while I got closer, moving with ease-or at least it looked so.- toward him, a smile playing on my lips.

I froze, the mans eyes so blue it couldn't be true, a frozen pond in his dirty face, scars visible around them.

"Ah, yes... People usually try to cut my eyes out first thing they do... I guess they find them-." He took a deep breath thru his nose, filled with something so close to lust that it made the hair on my arms rise."-scary."

The smile hadn't left me, I forced my hand out to greet his, he took it without hesitation. His fingers long, and hand soft as silk. This wasn't a usual low life criminal. This man was something more, something dangerous.

"Well, you know who I am, now... Who are you?"

"A great question,Who...Am...I..? Well, that's complicated. I'm a man that tried to find you, I'm a man who's life you destroyed... Last, I'm the man coming to kill you."

His voice was too sweet, words wrapped in velvet, intoxicating.

I stayed unaffected by his words, I've heard them so many times before.

"Well It's a habit of mine." I smirked.

"So I've noticed... I see, I guess I was wrong about you... I thought you was a coward, because who else could watch a mans only daughter die?"

My smile disappeared, my hand fell lifeless to my side. My breathing stopped.

"I've always wondered how my daughters killer looked like, now I know..."

"You-you're... You..."

"Sakurai Erai."

The man said, his thin lips curled like the ones of a snake.

It felt like a sword had pierced my torso, it's cold blade freezing me from the inside, still my hands was sweaty.

Black hair, dark eyes, a smile so gentle, like a wounded dove."Amaya-chan."

A hand smacked me hard across my face, white dancing over my eyelids.

"Speak my daughters name with respect or else... That won't be a hand next time." Erai said, his blue eyes...

"You don't know how hard it was to find you, a raven haired boy with dark red eyes... Covered in blood, it took ages finding you, then even more planting a reputation... Making you meet me here tonight."

"All...you ever needed to do was ask." My words was solid yet they came out lower than a whisper, images of Amaya, beaten, bloody... Chained and god knows what else... Broken, a wounded dove meant to fly free, caught and chained.

I stumbled back, hands around my head, trying to keep the images out.

I let out something close to a sob, coming from deep down within me, before pulling my hands away, forcing myself to look the father of my only friend-the one i killed.- in the eye.

Erai studied me, his blue eyes poison, the smile still there.

"Izaya Orihara, I've heard great things about you, given the part and you'll play it... Still, what would happen? If I asked."

"I would have let you kill me."

Everything close to my mask, my shield was gone. I didn't need it for this, I deserved this. This and so much more, this was my only redemption.

I understood there and then that this was where my life had taken me. Right here, it was here I was supposed to die.

I looked up in the sky, rain clouds, beautiful, beautiful night rain, had you come to wash my pain away, Amaya? Stroke the hair out of my eyes, to whisper small words of comfort, to sing for me… one last time.

"Acting noble into the last? After you beat my daughter bloody?! After you violated her?!" His voice made the blade dig in further. The pain was unbearable, my arms limb.

"I-I... Didn't..." I chuckled, my feeling such a chaos I didn't know what to make of it, this was so unreal… This was all so unreal, i had nothing left."I just held her hand, I never touched her... I could never... She..." I wanted to say so much more. That she had saved me, that the tugs I always watched, that they had planned to kill me. Found the roof, my place of peace but instead they'd found her.

She had tried to save me, when they took her she didn't make a sound, when i found her bloody she had been smiling.

Her black kimono, the small flower petals, stained, her dark hair.

Why!? WHY?! WHY?!... Why had she... why were you smiling... Why Amaya, why had you smiled? Why did you save me? I never deserved being saved.

She had been at peace she had been happy but why? All those years ago, it changed me. How could someone smile after something like that? How could something ever be so pure? In a world like this."She was my everything, my friend, my... She was my reason, she is my reason... I didn't touch her but it was all my fault." I said, while the cold blade of the sword nestled in deeper, I put a hand on my stomach, trying to insure myself that it was all in my head, but the pain was real, my eyes wide."it's my fault she died, they wanted me... They. I'm the reason Amaya-chan died, if you want-" sharp. The reflection of a blade, quick as a snake. Blood running down my chin.

"I said, if you don't treat my daughter with respect, it won't be a hand next time."

Erai said, his blue eyes blank, that's when I understood, it wasn't the colour, it was the emptiness, the blank, dead expression within them, so unlike hers.

"You're a great actor Orihara Izaya, the greatest that I've met, but it's enough. Enough lies. I know your kind. You think you're invincible, that you got nothing to lose, that you stand beyond redemption and honour. You don't even see your self as human do you?"

The sword pierced thru me and I let out a painful breath."No you're right, I'm not human, I could never be, I've tried... Tried so many times but I can't, I-I just can't-"

The blade crossed my jaw one more time drawing red.

I was quiet, it was nothing more I could say, my words didn't matter. I had killed my only friend, she had died for me, the boy she met on the roof that night, her words; "I protected you...I-You're wrong Iza-Iza-chan, it doesn't hurt... it doesn't hurt to die."

Erai smiled before he pulled the zipper to his jacket a tailored black suit revealed underneath it, he let the cap fall, dark hair... Just like hers.

A magnum revolver in his left hand.

"You're left handed?" I said smiling vaguely."she was left handed as well... She used to say that she got bullied because of it, that her teacher used to force her to write with the right, god she hated it."

"It thought you didn't believe in a god Orihara."

"I don't believe in god. There's no proof he exists. In a world where there isn't even proof of the future, the past exists. Even if it's tainted with misunderstandings and delusions, if the people themselves believe in it, the past is the truth to them. And, if you base your actions or your life around it, in a way, it's a type of god itself."

"So what does your past make you into? Who are your god? The devil? You killed a mans daughter, you put on an illusional act to save your own skin, how much more pain...?!"

"Then let me rot in hell, I killed her but you..." I said suddenly furious." You, where we're you when her mother died?! When everything she knew burned, my god might be a demon and i its monster, but you… you're godless!"I bit my tongue.

"Enough Orihara, I've heard enough, no more games. You can play how much you want, you killed my daughter. Was she an act for you as well? A sick game, someone you could torment? Until you got too bored and threw her away?! I don't buy your story... The things I've heard about you, makes me sick. I will do the world a favour." He laughed, a sweet chuckle, too kind, to filled with life with those dead cold eyes." I will toss you aside like a broken little toy just like you did with her, just like you killed her, did you laugh? Did you smile, when she was dying, did her last words to you even… they were wasted on you! Her blood is on your hands!"

Someone dragged the sword out- a blood filled gurgle came from deep down my throat - the only thing keeping me up, i stumbled forward, falling to the ground on my knees, face in my hands. Looking up at the sky above me... I'm sorry...

Amaya, blood, red, broken, smile, it all flashed before my eyes over and over.

"You disgust me."voice like soft velvet.

Strong hands grabbed my hair, pushed me hard against the wall. I'm sorry shizu-chan, i knew you wanted to kill me but I guess faith had other plans, I couldn't help to laugh at how ridiculous my last taught was, how many that wouldn't die just to kill me.

"You think this is funny? Ah, we'll... Nothing I can do about that now, can I?" He looked at me with such hatred "... any last words?"

"I'm sorry I won't be able to see you in heaven Amaya-chan, because I'll go to hell." The truth is, I dont belive in heaven or hell, because then i was forced to be a demon. I had loved and enjoyed and lived every moment, every second with Amaya knowing that it could be the last, still... It would never be enough. I wouldnt cry here, because if i did... I would never forgive my weakness.

I heard it before i felt it, a sharp pain in my right shoulder, then in my side.

I'll tell you this, it's nothing like the movies, first of all the sound itself is enough to make you fall. My ears ringing, my body shaking.

Erais feet pressing against my bullet wound.

I wanted to scream but couldn't.

"I said, speak my daughters name with respect."

A kick to my face made my head roll.

I didn't move a muscle, I didn't scream.

I deserved this.

I didn't know when he left, but when i woke up my jacket was in pieces and i couldn't open my left eye.

Now you know, the end to my movie.

The end to my life.

My past, my mistakes, every breath leading me here.

I hope you won't mind the bad ending but honestly the hole movie was crap.

You should have stopped reading or watching by first second, chapter or page.

Just when you saw two red eyes open you should have known that nothing good would come out of it.

So this is the place where I die? I knew it would be a trap, didn't i?

My legs are heavy, my arms, I can't move.

I will be dead within the hour. Here of all places who would have known? Still I should have died years ago, it should

have been me that night, not her. She gave me life and look what I did.

I'm sorry Shizuo, I'm sorry...

-Ya-yo-I-no so-ra-wa

Mi-wa-ta-su ka-gi-ri

Ka-su-mi-ka ku-mo-ka

Ni-o-i-zo i-zu-ru

I-za-ya

I-za-ya"

Her song... I could hear her, always, sweet and kind, loving, she had been singing that night as well.-

.

.

.

That... I... That I'll die, like... Like... Im, I'm sorr...sorry you're...

You're not... The... One...

That...

You won't... Be the one.

that...

Kills... Me.

Shizuo.

But If I stay here he'll...

.

.

.

.

He came.

Im so so so sorry for such a slow update! I have exams comming up, I will have a small break on saturday! So I will be posting the next chapter by then!