I dont own durarara!
Amaya and Reiko are my own characters and not from the serie!
contains offending language and violence

"A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child."
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Izayas POV

So this is the ending to my movie? Dying in the arms of my enemy, in the arms of the man that wants to save me, the man that wants me dead. how ironic.

If only, if only it had been years ago, me and not her. If she had lived, she wouldn't have turned into me, she wouldn't have been the monster, she would have been the angel that saved us all. Not the demon lurking in between shadows.

I'm sorry for not being able to save you, I'm sorry for turning into me and I'm sorry that I won't be able to join you, because how can something like me ever be able to go to the same place as someone like her? Heaven, hell or after life, I won't be able to share any of that with you, and for that I'm sorry. I used to think that death was nothing, but you would shine to bright in endless darkness, a star upon the night sky, you would create your own universe.

I couldn't feel shizu-chan's arms around me anymore, didn't he realise it was too late? I couldn't even move my arms, as far as I know, they didn't exist. It's just like me to die here, literally surrounded by my enemy, what a magical time to be alive, or dying. Good one Izaya.

"I won't kill you until you're you again." How sweet shizu-chan, really, all this trouble just for little me? If only I could stay and torment you longer, I bet you would like that, ha? I bet you would love to run after me one last time, for good olds sake.

Still, I will never understand you, why you saved me... I know what you said but if that was true? I could feel the laughter inside my mind, not being able to escape thru my broken lips. What a complete utterly, worthless idiot you have become izaya, oh shizu-chan... !

Don't you realise that you are driving me mad? Of all humans are you the most interesting one, and I'm sorry to leave you in a hurry, but it's not like my loss would break your heart... Good bye, shizu-chan, such a simple word I leave behind. I'm sorry that my movie wasn't a happy one, but I've played my part, and what a role it was, the screen is going black and my mind... Even thinking is hard... Damn it. My thoughts escaped and ended unfinished, I hadn't been able to think clear for a while now, and my vision is long gone.I'm sure the rain is still falling heavy... Amaya... I just hope i will be able to remember you, when the screen goes black... Will I remember... You...

Shizuos POV

No! Just no, not like this you stupid flea! Not Like This! "Oi! Don't you dare dying on me?! You hear me?" He was pale as a ghost. His hair sticking to his face and his eyes closed, he could just as much be sleeping... if it wasn't for the scars that shined a bright red, like neon signs on a white background.

Streets, houses became one.

Shinra! By god... It can't be too late!

"Don't die Izaya, don't you dare you- you-" What? Stupid? Had I used that already? I had started to run out on insults. How many times hadn't I asked him not to die on me tonight? How could I even bring myself to ask such a thing? Me asking him... Not to die, not in a hundred- scratch that- not in a million years would I ever guessed that I would beg izaya Orihara to live. I felt my stomach clench, could this have been me...? Doing this to him? No, I could never... At least not after tonight, would I ever be able to see him the same way? Like something that wasn't broken or damaged?

There, by the love of god, don't let it be too late! Shinra you better know how to bring someone back from the dead! Because right now we need all the magic we can get.

I didn't bother to see if the door was unlocked, instead I put all my force into it, causing it to fly over the room, crashing into the wall on the opposite side in the small hallway, splitting into a million pieces.

"Shizuo?! Shizuo, what have I said! First push it inwards and then out, it's still broken from last time and-" Shinra stopped mid step when he saw me, and what a sight we made. Izayas ripped and torn jacket, his small body, bloody in my arms, while I was out of breath, almost falling over.

I didn't dare do think of the assumptions he must make, I didn't have time."s-save him, please."

Shinras eyes widened if possible further, his hair was In its usual mess, glasses on edge. He was wearing a couple of pyjamas shorts with a white T-shirt and his lab coat over that, always the lab coat, did he sleep in that thing as well?!

"Celty... My darling sun. Bring my first aid kit and clear the table... It will be a busy night and not the good kind of busy."

Without hesitation, was he waving me forward, towards the kitchen table where celty already had put up a minor hospital, with a white clean tablecloth draped over the kitchen table, of all colours... Did it have to be white?

Celtys phone burned in her hands before she almost shoved it up Shinra's face" Yes love, the vodka will have to do."

Shinra's usual, goofy behaviour was blown away, instead I saw the doctor he was behind the way to thick and big glasses.

"Put him there Shizuo!"Shinra said pointing at the table."Carefully!" He added when he saw me almost falling over it, and bringing Izaya down with me.

I did as I was told, the knowledge of what had happened tonight had started to take its hold, my movements was shaky and I couldn't help to notice how violent my hands was shaking when I saw Izaya's helpless and lifeless body on the table. Broken, was the only word to come to mind.

Was he... Was he-"his not dead but his pulse is weak..." Shinra murmured, answering the question I hadn't dared to give.

"Scissors." Celty handed him one within seconds, Shinra hadn't taken his eyes off Izaya sense we arrived but now his eyes found mine, they were determined and absolute."are you sure you should stay?" I ignored the 'should' in the question and just nodded."I need to-"

"It won't be pretty." He answered before focusing on Izaya again." Did it go thru?" Shinra murmured, giving the sleeve I tied around Izaya's wound a curious look before carefully untying it."Celty, push on the wound we have to stop the bleeding."

celty did as she was told, and Shinra gave me one last judging eye before cutting open Izaya's shirt and carefully taking it off together with his jacket and for a second... Time stopped, I couldn't help to hear the small 'shit' that escaped Shinra's lips. I looked away. Izayas body was a network of bruises and scars, as If someone had decided to create their own world map, with small lakes and borders cut and blooming on his torso. It was as if the whole room had taken a collected breath only letting it go when a new line of course words escaped Shinra in small whispers.

When the doctor looked up at me this time, it was with eyes filled with fear and pure anger, and something broken, not the broken I had seen in Izaya's tormented eyes, no, like the kindness and light amusement that always followed the man had shattered and been replaced with a dangerous anger, but that still didn't wipe away that fact that Shinra was scared.

"It hasn't pierced thru, missed the stomach... 'abdominal' wound, probably the liver, causing internal damage... Probably close ranged, not in the intention of killing right away, but hurting... Bleeding out, slow death, a lot of pain. The ones that did this wanted him to suffer..."

I could feel my stomach wrench while Shinra spoke, I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see this, never In a million years. It didn't matter how much i hated... Had, hated him, I couldn't bring myself to look at the broken raven, wings cut of, unable to fly."it's still in there..." Shinra muttered before reaching for the vodka bottle, emptying it over Izaya's stomach and putting on a pair of plastic gloves." we can't keep it there, it will damage the tissues... " Shinra hesitated, as if judging the situation carefully."Shizuo... I think it best if you leave..."

"I won't-"

"Go into our bedroom then... Do you know what kind of gun that was used? Probably magnum, powerful, it should have gone out on the other side, probably a slow bullet 22... Can't be-"

Celty was still holding her hands over Izaya's wound best she could, but removed them to give Shinra full access."celty love, I think Shizuo are going into traumatic shock, guide him towards the bedroom, don't give him anything to drink and see so he doesn't fall asleep, hand him a blanket."

"I won't leave-" I backed away from Celtys hand, stumbling backwards.

"Yes, you will. Because I can't deal with a traumatic breakdown right now."

Shinra said before softening his tone."please Shizuo, save your strength."

Save my strength? I had nothing but strength yet, It was useless.

I didn't protest when celty put a hand on my shoulder this time, still covered in blood were her hands had pressed towards Izaya's wound, I guessed it didn't matter, my shirt looked like hell after i had carried him, and I was still wet."give him something to change into!" Shizuo yelled after us, as if reading my mind. No, that was stupid, no one could read minds, not even Izaya. Because Izaya was mortal, and nothing but human. After tonight i wasn't even sure if he would become close to human ever again.

My thoughts was messy, and I felt myself being close to stumble and fall a couple of time, celty keeping me in place on the small walk towards the bedroom.

I didn't notice when we reached the door or when I got placed in the bed but when I felt a soft pair of hands on my shoulders and something pressed toward my chest. Celty nodded towards the cloths in my lap, realising that I wouldn't be able to read anything she wrote right now. I felt sick. She had her helmet on, and I caught my own reflection, I looked like shit, to put it kindly. She pointed towards the small bathroom, and she didn't need a voice to be heard to make herself clear 'wash up, you look like hell'. I forced myself to stand up, almost falling over, shit! The word of the hour, while I made my way towards the bathroom. I closing the door behind me, trying to lock it but my mind was a mess and I couldn't get it to work properly.

Amaya... This is all your fault! If it wasn't for you izaya would never have died-no don't think like that he's not dead! He can't be... He just can't... I have too much left to say, to know... I would never be able to hurt him after this, not when I knew what the result might be if I lost control... The thought of me, doing something like this... My legs gave way underneath me, i caught the sink before I had time to head pump it, arms throbbing. Shit, not good!

Don't look down, they always say 'don't look down', just look up, 'ups' safe...

I looked up, just to find myself staring back. Izayas red handprint hadn't been washed away by the rain, it couldn't be real... I traced it with my fingers... So small, how could something be so small? How could he not have broken until now? With hands so small... So fragile...

I heard a small knock on the door."I'm okay celty! Don't worry!"

It didn't take long to undress, the blood sticking toward my torso as well... sticking to the night, the world, the back of my eyelids. I almost ran into the shower, not carrying how cold it was, I needed the pain, needed to wake up. Wake up in a time were Izaya had been inhuman, imortal a semi god. A time when I hated him, when nothing could hurt him... Not even me, not even my strength could touch him. When I hadn't been the only monster.

I let the water wash away some of the numbness, going from freezing cold to burning hot, it took me a while to realise that I was still wearing my socks... Like it mattered, like anything could ever matter again.

I stood there until the water got burning and my body numb, the blood washed away, so easily, while it had caused so much pain...

I didn't get out until I heard the forth soft knock, as if the door- or I- would break if it got too loud. I didn't care to dry my self, celty had lend me a pair of simple sweatpants and a white T-shirt and i had never in my life felt so comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.

The room fogy, making it impossible to see anything in the mirror... As if the mirror represented my mind. Thoughts playing fetch, escaping just as someone got close.

A heartbreaking scream tore thru me, making my insides twist and my heart break, shattered in a milion pieces. In all my life, i never dared to guess, that such a sound was possible, but it didnt matter because nothing tonight was supposed to be real.

It soon followed by one other, more stretched, like rubber, just to be shot back when it got too far and slap me in the face. To paralysed to move. I could hear yelling, feets running up and down, and more cursing.

Slowly I made my way towards the door, my hand finding the door handle, just to realise I wasn't strong enough to pull it open, as if the strength I had hated all my life had decided to leave me in my time of need. Finally the door went up but I didn't- I couldn't pass thru it.

The scream still stuck in my ears, forever burned in to my brain.

My wet socks dragged towards the ground when i, after what felt like forever, walked past the door, not carrying enough to lift my feet.

I could see Shinra running around in chaos, yelling commands, while Izaya was sprawled across the table, his body jerking back and forth. Like a fish on dry land, and maybe he was because this was a world that didn't belong to either of us. It didn't feel real, like I was watching a scene from a movie, something that could never happen in real life, not to me at least.

"Celty! Oh my god! Strap him down! Keep him still! I never thought he would find conciseness! Fast, so he doesn't bite his tongue!" I could see the utter panic in Shinra's movements, when I walked past him, his voice high pitched and filled with pure horror... I didn't even register the words, Izaya conscious? ."Anasthesia-"

Celty did her best to keep izaya still, his body jerking underneath her.

I didn't wait around to see what happened next, instead I did what I've done my entire life... I walked away. They didn't stop me when I turned around, no one said anything when I opened the door or walked outside, no one followed me, no one. I left the screaming horror scene behind me, it wasn't raining anymore... The night seemed peaceful, and I blamed it for it.

I needed to walk, far far away from this... I Just needed to put as much space as possible between me and 'it'. Stars smiled towards me, unknowing about the storm that went on inside me, following by a hollowness with no end. Passing people while i walked, but they didn't have a face. No one had a face, everything was just colours and shapes.

I didn't stay to think about the fact that I wasn't wearing any shoes, were I was going or if I would think about that, I would lose it for real. I forced every step yet I couldn't stop. As if someone was hunting me while my legs was unable to move or function properly.

I have no memory of getting here, as if I was sleepwalking, I was sitting on a small bench watching over ikebukuro, people going by their nightly routine... How could anyone function in a world like this, how could anything be normal after what happened izaya? How could the world still keep spinning and the stars still shine?

How could anything ever be beautiful, in world so ugly? I didn't know, but one thing I knew for sure, I would find the one who did this, and I would kill him.

This was not how the movie was going to end. I would make sure of that.

Im sorry for the 'dark' chapter once again! And that im late with this chapter!
Please leave a review because it always makes my grey...dark...cold day that much brighter! thanks!