Full Circle P6
Three weeks into her stay in Budapest and Annie felt more and more like herself. Her asset was easy going and low maintenance, her coworkers were nice and invited her to join a book group and out for movies and drinks in a way she never had before, she found a kick boxing class and spent endless hours in the pool keeping her body in shape.
She texted with Auggie now and then, but he seemed busy and distracted. That bothered her at first, but she knew that that was how Auggie dealt with his stuff, work and more work, and likely some Patron. She remembered other ways Auggie would deal with his stress and she tried not to wonder if he was finding that relief elsewhere.
"What's on your mind Annie?" Gail asked over room service salmon.
"Hmmm?" she looked up from her plate surprised by the interruption in her thoughts.
"You're a million miles away," Gail smiled.
Even therapy had been a surprisingly pleasant experience. Gail was easy to talk to, she prodded Annie into revealing fears she herself didn't even know she had. She drew lines from her father to Simon to Henry that seemed obvious now, but that she herself had never allowed herself to accept.
"How long have you worked for the Agency?" Annie asked.
"Twenty-two years."
"And you're married?" Annie nodded towards the wedding band on the older woman's hand.
"Yes."
"Does your husband know what you do?"
"He knows I am a consultant for the US Government. I had a private practice when we met and married, I was recruited shortly after my marriage, after I treated a high profile journalist who had been captured in Iran. My husband likely suspects that I consult for intelligence agencies, the CIA is not my only employer," she hinted.
It was the most the woman had said about herself since their first meeting and Annie was both pleased and intrigued.
"Why do you ask?"
"I was thinking about Auggie."
"You miss him," Gail stated, it wasn't a question but her professional assessment.
"I do."
"The comfort he provides?"
"At the moment, I miss his body," Annie confessed.
"That's pretty normal, as you start to regain yourself all your appetites will come back. You look like you have gained back a little muscle tone just in a couple weeks, you must be eating better, your body will evolve to wanting all the things it wanted before."
"I forced myself to not want Auggie while I was dark, I could not allow myself that kind of distraction, of weakness. If I thought I had something to live for I would have failed. I tried to forget him entirely, yet I was so hurt when it seemed he had forgotten me too."
"When he slept with Helen?"
"Yeah."
"You felt betrayed by that?"
"Yes, no, I guess. "
Annie could hear his teasing voice in her mind 'As long as you're sure….'.
"If you needed help who would you call first?" Gail changed the trajectory.
"Auggie," Annie said without hesitation.
"So you still trust him."
"I do. The thing is, I don't need him as much anymore. That is part of what happened this past year, every time he gave me instruction or guidance I saw a different way and I took my own path and I think that hurt him."
"I am not going to try and analyze Auggie, I have never met him, but think about him for a second. Describe him in one word," Gail was leading her and tried to pull back, she had read Auggie's file cover to cover and wished she could write a book on these two.
"Auggie's a soldier," Annie smiled.
"You are familiar with a military mentality."
"Yes," Annie had talked about her father plenty.
"So you can see how your penchant for disavowing his advice could vex him," Gail chose her words carefully.
"So I didn't follow his advice and he slept with his…his….Helen," Annie had a hard time referring to her as his wife.
"I don't think it is quite that straight a line, but Auggie has a history of being in control and a lot of that control was taken away from him, when you take more of it away he may seek it elsewhere."
"I made a lot of decisions that directly affected him without actually consulting him," Annie admitted.
"Have you apologized for that?"
"Not really."
"You've seen him since you returned from Hong Kong?"
"Yes."
"Did you talk? Explain what you did and why?"
"Not so much," Annie frowned but her body tingled at the memory of Auggie's hands on her body.
"How do you feel when you're with Auggie?" Gail asked and Annie raised an eyebrow, "in general, not specifically in bed."
"Safer, stronger, more at peace," Annie admitted with a frown.
"But?"
"But, while I feel all of those things I think my presence in his life causes him the opposite reaction. I cause him fear and stress and a vulnerability he doesn't like to show," Annie was suddenly filled with dread and sorrow.
"Annie?" Gail asked concerned for the change in her demeanor.
"I'm bad for him. I am the opposite of everything he needs. I totally get his relationship with Parker now, it seemed so odd to me at the time, but she was the anti-me. Jai died and I was maturing as an Operative and Auggie was scared. Parker was safe and easy, carefree and optimistic, Auggie needs that."
"Has he said that?"
"Not in so many words, but he has changed, we have changed. We used to be so light with each other and now everything has a weight, a darkness to it. I did that to him."
"Auggie made plenty of his own choices."
"Did he? I told him once that I shouldn't have read him in on the file Henry gave me, but I was wrong, I shouldn't have slept with him that night. I should have read him in and completed the mission before giving in to my own desire to be with him. I did the one thing I have constantly denied my whole career."
"What's that?"
"I wasn't able to separate my personal life from my professional one."
***555***
Nick had made it back from another mission in one piece and was buying Auggie yet another beer at Allen's. The two men were debating the Cubs lack of chances when a familiar voice interrupted.
"Hey Auggie."
"Amy?"
"Yeah, haven't seen you in a while."
"Nick Galster, this is Amy Jacobs. Amy works on the Hill, Nick is a friend of my brother's visiting DC," Auggie covered although he was sure Amy would read the truth.
"Nice to meet you, care to join us," Nick offered politely.
Amy slipped into the seat next to Auggie and gave him a once over.
"Tough day?" she assessed.
"I've had tougher," he grinned.
"Excuse me a sec," Nick stood and made his way to the men's room.
"You OK?" Amy asked directly.
"Sure."
"Come on Auggie, not every day someone's girlfriend comes back from the dead, I've been meaning to check in on you" Amy revealed that word of Annie's pulse had reached Congress.
"Happens more often than you would think," Auggie snarked and finished his beer as he raised his hand in hopes a waitress was close.
"No one has seen her, is she at Blue Bonnet?" Auggie had to remember Amy used to work in the building.
"No."
"Is she OK?"
"I don't know," Auggie said honestly.
"I need something stronger than beer," Nick announced as he returned to the table and disrupted the quiet interrogation.
Nick knew when he was a third wheel and a couple of shots of Patron in and he was begging off claiming an early flight in the morning. Auggie grinned, almost sadly at him, as Nick threw some bills on the table for the tab.
Auggie pocketed the cash and handed his credit card to the waitress when she passed by a bit later.
"Auggie?" Amy started and halted.
"Come on," he nodded his head towards the door after he signed the slip.
"You sure? Last time I met you for a late drink there was another woman waiting in your bed."
"She hasn't been in my bed for months," which was technically true since their last time together was in a faceless hotel.
His hand found her knee in the cab, her hand found his belt in the elevator and as soon as they were through the door to his loft she dropped her bag and hooked her leg high up around his hip, could feel him against her, ready.
Her hands tried to move to his shirt, his stayed firm on her hips kind of trapping her. He didn't live here the last time they did this so she had to break away from the kissing to get her bearings and as soon as her lips left his she knew it was over.
He looked terrified. It was hard to believe this man was a world class spy, his emotions were so clear. The flush she felt in her cheeks drained from his and she actually thought he might pass out, his hands shook and his chest heaved with the need for oxygen to his brain. His belt hung open and the top button of his pants, undone, was so inviting, but the look in his eyes was heartbreaking.
"I'm sorry Auggie," she sucked in a breath and tried to reclaim her dignity.
"Not your fault. This one is on me," Auggie shook his head disgusted with himself.
"I should go," she reached past him to grab her purse from the floor.
"It's late, let me call you a cab," Auggie had his phone out before she could protest.
Before he could make the call though he heard the alert of a text, he knew it was from Annie, must have missed it in the bar.
He found the cab company he used and ordered a car, it would only be 10 minutes as dispatch was just down the street. Auggie fished the cash Nick had left on the table and handed it to her, unsure of the denominations.
"I have money," she laughed sweetly.
"You're further from home now," Auggie shrugged.
"I don't want the money Auggie. I do want you to be happy though, always have, you need to figure out what you want to make that happen," she kissed his cheek and he squeezed his eyes shut at the truth in her words.
Then she was gone.
Auggie stabbed at the phone and the adaptive text reader robotically read out Annie's message.
"Text from 555-897-4457. Call me. We need to talk."
TBC…