A/N: Once again, thanks for the reviews! To those who expressed their worry for the ending of this story: there will be a happy ending. After all, it's blasphemous not to have a rainbow after a storm - especially with the emotional rollercoaster our couple has gone on. Without further ado, onto chapter four!

Trial and Error
By: Akinriah Tram

Chapter Four: Standing on the surface of a perforated sphere

(Two months later)

There was something calming about the night that allowed Cagalli to withstand the harsh wind of the sea. Maybe it was the fact that it brought back nostalgic memories from the dark nights on the island or perhaps the crashing of waves under the blanket of stars gave her a sense of freedom, but she found it easier to breathe. The feeling of her lungs having to fight the whiplash of the air currents drowned out her thoughts and the cold water numbed her body.

"If you needed a drinking partner, you could have called me."

Cagalli flicked her head towards the source that interrupted her hazy thoughts to find her fiancé in a maroon polo shirt and khaki shorts. Compared to him, she was a complete mess, with hair in disarray and feet dangling in the black waters.

If the union saw her now, they would surely reassess their Chief Representative's ability to run Orb. But it was just Yuna, who was once conniving and manipulative, but now the most reliable man she could depend on. Over the course of fifteen years after the day when she berated him for his ignorance, he became a loyal ally and their relationship had blossomed into a comfortable friendship.

Cagalli smiled at him and held up an unopened bottle of Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc.

"I hope you won't show up to our wedding ceremony with a bad hangover." He smirked as he took the blue bottle and joined her. Cagalli was notorious for staying out and drinking along the coast at night. It was habit that was up to par with her coffee addiction.

"I would never do any such thing." The blonde scoffed.

"Weddings do weird things to people. That's why we have the term "cold feet" associated with wedding ceremonies. But then I suppose if you were hung over, you would down a couple cups of coffee to pull yourself together."

Cagalli winced at his words. It seemed that Yuna knew her better than she knew herself. Maybe this was what led her to accept his proposal. She was thirty-two, soon to turn thirty-three and while she was perfectly satisfied with the path her life was taking, there was still a power struggle between the legislature and the noble families. It was only inevitable before she would be overthrown if it weren't for the Seiran family to back her up. True, the Seiran name was no longer prominent, but it was still part of the noble family, and therefore, it had credibility.

And more than anything, the residents of Orb wanted a wedding between their two Chief Representatives. Not only did it clear up the mistake that occurred fifteen years ago, it also tied down those who were trying to stage a coup.

"I've never asked this before, but what are your views on marriage?"

Cagalli froze.

There was a time in her life when she was young, full of fire and passion for her country. She had dismissed affection and love as a conjuration of a mind, preferring to fight in battle and die in war. But then there was also a time when raw emotions and desires were brought out of her. She had been full of passion and love, wanting to spend rest of her life with one person and disregard the world. Those carefree days were now over. The only part of her left was the one bound by obligations and duties, comforted by memories of the past.

"Does it matter?"

Yuna looked at her apprehensively, "Of course it matters. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together."

Her grip on the bottle tightened and Cagalli found herself shaking. The words sounded so strange to her. It sounded wrong. She loved Yuna. She was so sure of it when she accepted his proposal. Even though it wasn't a passionate love where she could lose herself and feel alive, it was one that would make her content.

"You know, I'm usually a flamboyant character."

Cagalli lifted an eyebrow bemusedly but a smirk appeared on her face. "Gee, I don't know. There are just so many guys out there with lavender colored hair and a grandiose vocabulary."

Yuna smirked back, "Imitation is the best form of flattery."

But when his face turned serious and he stared into her eyes, Cagalli felt her stomach churn. Yuna was all about extravagance and flamboyance. Even when he was serious, there was a mischievous spark in his eyes. However, at that very moment, his expression was grave.

"But I can be serious too."

Her stomach did a flip-flop and all the signals in her body were telling her to stop him. Whatever he wanted to say was important and it sounded like something she didn't want to hear.

"Fourteen years ago, we were about to wed, and I must admit, it was to consolidate the power of the Seiran family."

"Please stop." The words escaped her mouth like the whisper of the wind. She knew where this was going and she wasn't ready. She was barely coping with life and marriage was the last thing on her mind.

"No," He said firmly, "Hear me out first."

"I can't." There was so much anguish in her voice and her eyes began tearing up. She avoided his gaze and stared down at the ground. All she wanted to do was disappear.

Yuna grabbed her hand and tilted her face towards him with the other. Cagalli found herself staring into obsidian eyes that seemed to swallow up with his sincerity.

"I know you're not ready. I know that you will never move on from the past, but I want to be there for you. If we're going to be single for the rest our life, then why not be together?"

"You don't deserve this."

"Of course I don't," His smile was gentle and warm. "But I'm not doing this for you. As we both know, I'm selfish and I find that I'm happy when I'm with you. As the saying go, misery loves company."

She felt him slip a ring onto her finger. It was a gold band with three round brilliant cut diamonds aligned diagonally in between the split cuts. She didn't deserve this treatment.

"Even if you don't fully heal, at least we can establish some kind of stability and peace in your life."

Amber eyes looked up with surprise. Contentment and stability. Something that she had been craving for a long time. Did she love Yuna? No, but she liked him enough. Maybe in due time, it would develop to something more. Perhaps they could do it.

"I-" she paused. "I'll think about it."

Cagalli turned to her fiancé and with a grateful smile, she said, "Thanks for being with me the past fifteen years. I wouldn't have known what I'd become."

"Yet I wasn't able to help you when you came back two months ago and locked yourself in the house for three weeks. I had to call your brother and even then, you still didn't come out."

She winced at his bitterness.

The moment she arrived home, she had locked herself up in the house and curled under the sheets of her bed. Their meeting felt surreal, like a dream that turned into a nightmare, leaving her to wake up and grasp for air. It haunted her for days. It made her mentally sick. Apparently, the bullet hit her deeper than she had anticipated.

"I needed time to clear my mind on some matters."

It wasn't fair.

Why couldn't Life just let her find some peace?

She didn't even need happiness, just some stability and peace. She had been sure that Yuna was the answer. He was the life jacket that kept her from sinking, but that clearly wasn't the case when Life decided to whisk her back into the pool of her chaotic past and left her to sink with the weight of her emotions.

"Are they sorted out now?"

"More or less."

Meeting Athrun had confirmed the war on her feelings for Yuna: she would never care or love Yuna the way she did Athrun. Was it fair to Yuna? Should she cancel her marriage? It would shame him greatly, for she had destroyed their first one.

A small frown marred Yuna's face when he caught her looking distantly into the dark sky. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine." She casted him a small reassuring smile.

Yuna nodded and returned her smile, but she could tell he didn't believe her.

Her smile wavered in agreement.

-;-

When Cagalli woke up that particular sunny Sunday, it took every ounce in her body to get herself out of bed. Despite the fact that she hadn't been sleeping well for years and knew that her body wouldn't do so in the future, all she wanted to do was stay under the covers and hide at home. Something told her that today was going to be a bad day, that she would regret it if she stepped out the door. Despite all the uneasy alarms, Cagalli fought her way out of her bed, took a cold shower, poured herself an extra-large cup of coffee and headed out the house.

She definitely regretted it the moment she stepped out the elevator doors.

"Why can't I see her?" A high-pitch shrill voice resonated through the office where only her receptionist was in attendance.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but Ms. Athha is not currently in." She heard Astoria say, somewhat exasperated. "You're supposed to make an appointment, and what in the blazes are you doing here at this hour alone? Where are your parents? How did you get here by yourself?"

Cagalli's eyebrow quirked amusedly as she heard the hint of bewilderment in Astoria's voice. Judging from her receptionist's words, it seemed that her visitor was a child. But speaking of which, the child did sound familiar...

"She'll want to see me." The childish voice was urgent and resolute. "I don't have much time."

"Why don't we call your guardian and then we'll see if you can see Ms. Athha?"

There was a pause.

Cagalli wasn't in the mood to meet an unannounced visitor. Perhaps it would be a different story if she wasn't feeling moody and tired, but all she wanted at that moment was to rest in her office. So she turned right-where a door leading to the back of her office stood- and was about to open it when the girl's next two sentences stopped her shortly.

"I'll come back tomorrow morning at nine. Can you tell her that Cagalli Zala was here?"

The bag that she was holding dove to the ground, alerting her presence. Cagalli bent down to shove the contents back inside her bag. As the echo of footsteps quickened, Cagalli had the mind to abandon everything and run.

"Cagalli," Astoria's anxious voice resonated behind her. "This young lady was adamant on seeing you today."

Cagalli inwardly sighed as she looked up with a reluctant smile, "I know her Astoria. You may return to your desk."

Astoria regarded her with a raised eyebrow before she returned back to her desk. Athrun's daughter, on the other hand, stood behind looking very anxious. She was staring intently at the ground as if she was regretting her decision for coming there.

Well, that makes the two of us. Cagalli thought as she closed her eyes and chugged the last of scalding hot coffee.

She really should've stayed home today.

-;-

"Does your dad know you're here?"

Two months had passed since she saw the daughter of the Zala family and already, there were some changes in the girl. While nothing changed in her physique, Cagalli noticed that the girl wasn't as sullen as before. In fact, she looked a bit happier. Her almond-shaped blue eyes had softened, which emphasized the innocence of her age. But in that very moment, the girl looked anxious, which only confirmed her suspicions.

"He doesn't know you're here." Cagalli sighed, "Seriously, what is he doing, letting a thirteen-year-old go running around? Orb isn't completely safe, you know!" Hey eyebrows scrunched up together in irritation.

"It's not Father's fault." The little girl defended vehemently, "I told him I wasn't feeling well and I snuck out after he left for his conference."

Cagalli froze before she pushed a button on the office phone.

"Yes, Cagalli?"

"Why wasn't I aware of a conference this morning?"

There was a pause before Astoria answered, "Last month while you were away, Mr. Seiran told me that he would represent Orb for the Reinforcement of International Relations Conference and not to bother you with it."

Cagalli bit her bottom lip and her eyes narrowed. "Thanks Astoria."

It seemed that the world was going behind her back and pulling unnecessary strings. First, Kira had called Miriallia to check up on her at least once a week. She didn't mind Miriallia's presence as much until the woman started accusing her of the bad decisions she was making. Then, she found out that Miriallia had somehow managed to convince everyone in the office to go on an anti-coffee strike. Cagalli didn't know how it was possible, but the office's supply of coffee had diminished and it wasn't enough to satisfy her stomach. Now, Yuna was taking up roles and assignments that weren't his to begin with. Really, she wasn't a child anymore!

Cagalli sighed once again as she redirected her thoughts back to the thirteen-year-old girl in front of her, "So why are you here?"

"You're making a mistake."

Cagalli's eyebrow disappeared behind her yellow bangs and she scoffed. Now she was being lectured by a thirteen-year-old; the absurdity of this was ridiculous!

"I assure you, I know what I'm doing." She said stiffly.

"You're marrying Mr. Seiran." The girl looked angry, as if she had committed a crime.

"Why are you even-"

"My father still loves you!" There was so much resentment in her voice. Bitterness and resentment mixed together.

Cagalli swallowed the uneasy feeling that accompanied her racing heart. Her emotions threatened to consume her. She wanted to scream out of frustration. She wanted to cry. Her hands clenched themselves under her table and Cagalli took a few deep breaths before grabbing her mug of coffee, only to find it empty. She mentally cursed herself.

"Don't you think it's unfair to tell me this? I'm getting married to another man in two months." She no longer viewed Cagalli Zala as a kid, but an equal who needed to be woken up from her idealistic views. "Even if your father still loves me, it's too late."

"It's not too late." The girl glared and folded her arms against her chest. "You have two months." She added stubbornly.

Cagalli sighed. This was why she wasn't fond of kids. They never went with reason or logic, just only with emotions; emotions that could throw them in boiling hot water before they were even aware of their circumstances.

"This marriage isn't a fairy tale. The princess will not be whisked away by her prince charming. This is a marriage that every nation knows of; it has been planned for years. If it doesn't go through, Orb's reputation will fall." She stared hard at the girl in front of her, who seemed to have stiffened due to the graveness in her voice. She then softened her voice, "Stop pretending. You don't like me and that's fine. It's understandable. There is no child who would want someone else to replace her mother."

And that was the truth. Cagalli, herself, had been in the same situation when she was younger. She had grown up without a mother, had missed the warmth of the woman who was supposed to love her unconditionally. While she hadn't even known the shadow of the woman who bore her, she remembered feeling irritable and edgy every time a woman had gotten a bit too close to her father. This feeling came when she was nine and it never disappeared, even after she learned that she was adopted.

For the longest time, no one spoke. Cagalli watched a mixture of emotions pass over the younger girl's face, ranging from surprise to bitterness to guilt and then to acceptance.

"But mommy wants father to be happy." The girl said softly as tears were beginning to form at the edge of her eyelids. "It was her dying wish..."

"Your mother died?" Cagalli felt at loss for words. She hadn't known that Meyrin died. When did this even happen? How was she not aware of it? A dozen thoughts swirled in her head and she felt a migraine descending. Coffee... She really needed coffee.

No one said anything.

"I hate my name. I don't want anyone to replace Mommy. She's is supposed to be the person that father loves the most." The thirteen year old stared down at her summer polka-dotted sea green dress, "My dad is sad and lonely because of you. I really don't like you."

Cagalli didn't know how to respond to the confessions that were thrown her way. Sometimes, the truth was harder to accept than the lies. Athrun's daughter's confession about her feelings toward her didn't shock her. It was understandable as she had predicted them herself. However, to learn that Athrun was suffering was another matter.

"But mommy wants me to accept you."

Cagalli looked away to the side of her wall before she found her words, "You can't, so don't force yourself."

The silence in the air was like the ghost of an abandoned town. Slowly, the little girl stood up and walked out the door, but before closing it behind her, she asked, "Do you really love Mr. Seiran more than my father?"

Cagalli focused on the bookshelf, counting the books that were stacked neatly against the wall. The question hung in the air like a boa constricting their throats, but she didn't reply.

Ten.

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thir-

The door closed with a soft click.

Fifteen.

Sixteen.

Seventeen.

She continued counting. It distracted her from reflecting on the truth.

Twenty-one.

Twenty-two.

Twenty-three.

But deep down she knew.

Cagalli heaved a sigh when she reached the last book.

Thirty-seven.

She would never be happy with anyone unless it was Athrun.

A/N: Just one more chapter and an epilogue! How do you like Yuna now? I was so sad every time you told me to change the secondary guy because you didn't like Yuna. Granted I don't like Yuna myself, I thought he was quite a tragic character in this story. One-sided loves are always hard.

And with Little Cagalli...you've got to love her. I miss those days when I can say whatever I want, completely oblivious of the consequences.

Leave me a review, please?