Chapter 9 - Questions
Charlie Swan woke late from his drug-induced slumber the morning after Bella's arrival. Within minutes it was clear as to why the staff had doped him so heavily in the first place. Bella quickly learned that her dad was not the easiest of patients, firing off demands in rapid succession for his gun, clothes and release papers... in that order.
Much to the chagrin of his long-absent daughter, Charlie refused to let up on the subject, using his position as Chief of Police to threaten anyone who dared to set foot in the room. The staff began to avoid them.
For two days Bella stayed by Charlie's side, with little to pass the time save daytime game shows, soap operas that bore little plot and the endless supply of crossword puzzles given to her by the staff. A steady stream of visitors dropped by, usually in and out fairly quickly once they felt the wrath of Charlie's cantankerous attitude. Billy came and went, usually while she was sleeping or eating, not staying long when Bella did made her presence known. It seemed somewhat unusual to her, but when asked, Billy chalked it up to nothing more than the fact that in times like these family should be together.
The very idea nagged at her. To Bella, it seemed Billy was pointedly avoiding her, but whenever she pressed the matter further, he would make an excuse to leave, mumbling things about tribal matters or his fluctuating blood sugar levels.
Sue popped in often during her rounds, dealing with Charlie's erratic behavior in stride. Bella was eternally grateful to her, although she was beginning to suspect there was more between her father and his longtime friend than either party cared to admit. Sue was far too tolerant of his mood swings for the average nurse and certainly not amused in the slightest by the outbursts, as Charlie's other friends were. Further, Bella saw the way she looked at him, the lingering caress of fingertips upon her father's cheek. The longing in her eyes. There was more to their relationship than just old friends being there for each other.
On the morning of the third day during Charlie's convalescence, Leah's striking figure appeared in the doorway of the hospital room. Charlie was the first to notice the young woman, literally jumping at the chance to pounce on an unsuspecting visitor.
"Finally!" he shouted, waving his arms wildly.. "Someone who will understand reason and get me the hell outta here!"
"Dad, would you settle down, please?" Bella was more than exasperated with his childish behavior at this point. "You're going to tear your stitches."
Leah hooked an eyebrow, striding in the room and straight over to Charlie's bedside where she dropped a light kiss on his cheek. "Getaway car is in the back. I expect you to expunge my record of all criminal activity when you blow this popsicle stand."
"Done!" Bella swore Charlie was about to spit on his hand and slap palms with her to seal the deal.
For all her good humor, it did not escape Bella's notice that Leah seemed uneasy, nervous even. She kept Bella at arm's length, never allowing the breadth of her body near her. Leah asked pointed questions. The state of Bella's own health, if she had spoken with Matt, what she planned to do when Charlie left the hospital.
Before leaving, Leah hugged her briefly, gently, instead of the fierce way that Bella had become accustomed to over the years. Pressing a set of keys into her palm, Leah whispered in her ear. "Third row of the visitors' lot."
When the sun had begun to set over the Olympic forest and Charlie had been assured he would be released soon, Bella departed for her childhood home, ready to leave the world and its troubles behind.
Walking outside, Bella Swan breathed in lungfuls of clean air for the first time in days and tilted her face to the sky. The sun shone warm on her face and the faint autumn breeze rejuvenated her soul. The sounds of nature were oddly quiet compared to the endless buzz inside the walls behind her. Home, a soft bed, not to mention a shower was her new idea of heaven.
Tired was an understatement for the way she felt. Nights of sleeping on a small cramped hospital sofa, the endless stream of doctors and nurses monitoring Charlie's progress, plus beeping machines and wailing ambulance sirens did not make for ideal rest. In a way, she understood her dad's insistence on going home... even if he was being a big jerk about it.
Reaching the visitors' lot, Bella expected to see Leah's car. Nothing had prepared her for what she found waiting instead.
There, in the middle of the rows of shiny SUV's and mid-sized cars, a monument of metal rose from the faded concrete in a flame of rusty red and silver chrome. Glancing down at the keys in her palm, Bella smiled, realizing for the first time what it was that Leah had actually given her.
Her truck. That old monster of a heap that was Charlie's gift when she had first come to Forks. The old Chevy Jacob had so lovingly fixed... and Edward despised.
Bella could hardly believe her eyes when she saw it sitting there. She traced her fingers over the hood, reacquainting herself with every dent and scratch that lent a story to its history. Memories. A thousand memories from a different time washed over her. A young boy, eager and proud. A teenage girl, shy and afraid. A proud father presenting a homecoming gift to his daughter like a benevolent king in a faraway land.
The images shifted, fast-forwarding one year.
The shy girl broken to pieces, barely hanging on. The young boy quickly changing into a man, desperate to bring out her smile. Their voices echoed in the small space.
Okay, but if you're going to get picky like that, you have to average in size too. You're so small, I'll have to knock ten years off your total.
Five foot four is perfectly average. It's not my fault you're a freak!
The scene melted away to that awful night that had ended in desperation and blood. Jacob's voice, apologetic and sad. Sorry, I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bells.
Edwards whispering in her ear like a phantom. Be happy.
It was just a truck. Nothing more than pieces of rusty metal and steel held together by nuts and bolts. Yet, what it represented was so much more. That old Chevy pickup was the diary of her life, pages printed in flaking paint, spattered with motor oil.
The key turned in the old lock much easier than Bella remembered. The small squeak of the door and the groan of the worn seat made her smile when she eased in behind the wheel. Bella relaxed, feeling the knots of tension slide away as she breathed deeply.
The old familiar smell of peppermint and tobacco, then the warmer, more sharp scent of pine and ocean breeze soothed her senses.
Jacob.
He was in here. A piece of his very being, the essence of his soul was ingrained into every part of it. The deafening roar of the engine, music to her ears just as much as his laughter.
oooOOOooo
Three hours later, Bella lounged on the swing of Charlie's porch, listening to the quiet sounds of nature all around her. It felt strange to be away from Seattle. The constant roar of engines going by and the shouts of laughter that floated up from its busy streets had become the soundtrack of her life. Without ever realizing it, Bella had grown accustomed to the fast pace of the city. The surrealism of being in this place had both astounded and delighted her.
Nothing had changed in her father's house, with the exception of a larger TV for viewing Sunday games. When she crept upstairs, the creak of the third step from the top greeted her like an old friend.
Her bedroom was the same. Faded paint, corkboard with stupid teenage pictures, as well as the ancient computer on top of a rickety, white desk. Tiny fairy lights strung above her girlhood bed, still adorned with the dark purple comforter her father chose so many years ago. She could still see the little girl who slept here once, pigtails sprawled over the pillow, fuzzy jammies... a well-loved bunny clutched in her arms. In the corner sat a rocking chair, old and empty. That was when the ghosts of the past began to catch up to her.
No.
Bella became agitated, glaring at the carved wood as though it had offended her, instead of the bastard who had destroyed her life from the inside out.
The walls of the room began to close in. The air suddenly went stale making Bella gasp for oxygen while desperately trying push down the wave of bile rising up in her throat. Racing into the bathroom, she jerked the faucet violently then began splashing ice cold water over her face and neck.
Bella glanced up at herself in the mirror. Wet curls of hair stuck to her forehead and cheeks. Skin sallow, eyes puffy from lack of sleep. Helpless, afraid, shaking.
Weak.
Quickly stripping off the heavy bracelets that adorned her left wrist, Bella exposed the ugly, raised web of scars crisscrossing the skin. In that moment, she became that girl again. The one who was lost and frightened, unreasonable and mad with grief.
She narrowed her eyes, glaring at the shameful reflection, then began to burn with hatred. "No. You can't have me." She spoke the words out loud, determination through proclamation, courage by defiance. Bella braced her hands on either side of the sink, counting while drawing slow and steady breaths until the panic began to subside. "You're not her, anymore," she reminded herself. "You changed. You moved on. You won. He lost."
Bella repeated it until she believed it.
oooOOOooo
The rocking chair now sat in a far corner of the garage.
After a hot shower, hour long nap and a sweep of the kitchen for supplies, Bella fixed herself some tea and settled down on the porch, legs curled beneath her grandmother's afghan. The night was clear, stars shining brightly while a ring of gold surrounded a new moon. Branches rustled in the warm, soft evening breeze, while crickets serenaded her from afar. Somewhere in the distance, the lone howl of a wolf bayed through the trees.
She shivered, shifting uncomfortably in her seat, wondering which of her boys it might be. Her thoughts turned to Jacob. Always Jacob.
In six years he had never strayed far from her thoughts or her heart. Every time she saw or heard the howl of a wolf, each time she visited a local tribe, or in the moments when fear overtook her walking home alone at night, he was always with her. Jacob was the pillar of strength that she looked to in times of trouble. Time and distance had not diminished the impact that his simple grace and ease had made on her. Jacob was in her heart, a part of her soul.
Tonight, Bella could almost feel the pulse of him in the air, the magic of his people surrounding this place. But, it was more than that. As if with coming home there was some sort of secret she had yet to uncover. A mystery in an otherwise ordinary life.
Quite suddenly a man appeared out of the darkness. She could just make out the outline of his body, naked chest shimmering in the moonlight. Raven hair, rich, warm eyes and faded jeans that hugged his thighs like a glove.
Her heart skipped a beat in surprise just as joy washed over her at seeing him again. "Embry?"
The man smiled at her, lip curving, dimples appearing beneath high cheekbones. "Welcome home, Bella."
Bella leapt up from her seat, careless of the tea that spilled all over the porch in her rush to greet him.
Embry Call lifted her high into the air, then pulled her tightly to his chest while she wrapped her slender arms around his body. "Damn, it's good to see you, Bella."
She melted into him. He was warm. Incredibly warm and the thick muscles of his chest reminded her so much of Jake. "What are you doing here?" she asked with genuine surprise. "Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to see you, but I haven't seen any of the pack around."
Embry pulled away quickly, shifted nervously, sidestepping the question, seateding himself in the swing. He eyed her salaciously, grinning like the horny teenager she remembered. "You look... you grew up, Bella."
Suddenly conscious of herself and the clothes she wore, Bella crossed her arms over her chest. Tight fitting yoga pants that felt like a second skin and a tank top that had been through the wash one too many times were her usual loungewear of choice these days. Settling beside him on the swing, she pulled the blanket up over her body in an effort to conceal herself from view.
"You changed too, Em." Bella smiled, genuinely glad to see her old friend. "You look good. Older... sorta," she laughed, aware of how stupid it sounded since werewolves didn't age.
It didn't go unnoticed by her when Embry moved away, although he seemed to make it appear casual, as if he just wanted to have a better look at her. The shy boy she had first met in Jacob's garage had been replaced by a confident man who asked endless questions about her life, what she had been doing, her time in Arizona and the weather in Seattle. Random things. Latching on to small details like they were of some great importance. Bella didn't mind though. It was nice to think of something other than gunshot wounds and police reports.
"So, you never answered my question. What brings you here, Embry?"
Quirking an eyebrow, he responded good-naturedly, though evasive nonetheless. "Do I need a reason to come see an old friend? You've been gone a long time, Bella."
She smiled weakly, as if asking for forgiveness in that gesture, but couldn't keep the hint of sadness from her voice. "I know, it's just that nobody else has come. I thought that maybe..."
Embry nodded in comprehension. It was one of the main reasons for this visit tonight. There were things Bella needed to know, but more importantly, things the pack needed to know from her. "Jake's different now."
"What do you mean, different?" she asked, cautiously. Something was off and Embry's strange demeanor proved it.
A veil of wariness crossed his face, as if there was a sense of mistrust between them that she did not yet know about. Embry's voice was hesitant, serious but somewhat afraid even when he finally started to speak. "Look, I probably shouldn't-"
The shriek of a phone effectively cut him off, startling them both. Bella looked down and smiled automatically when she saw Matt's face light up the screen of her cell. "Hold that thought, I need to take this."
Embry would have tried not to listen, but supernatural wolf hearing made that next to impossible. Even if he walked away he'd still be able to hear every word said. So Embry sat there, taking mental notes, wondering about the man on the other end. Who was he to Bella that she looked so happy when the call came in?
"So how's your dad?" he heard the guy ask. Douche. Charlie got shot, how do you think he is?
Bella laughed lightly. "Getting better. Stubborn and feisty."
"Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, babe."
Embry's eyes widened big as saucers. Babe? Oh hell no. You have to be kidding me.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," she responded, rolling her eyes dramatically, much to the wolf's delight. Good, she's brushing him off. Then it happened, the oft heard phrase about eavesdroppers hearing things they don't want to know slammed Embry Call in the chest full force.
"So, I miss you," she said wistfully, almost as if a piece of her heart had been left behind in Seattle.
"Miss you too, sweetheart," he replied with equal longing "When are you coming home?"
Embry's heart sank into his stomach. Shit. Is she going to leave again? Jake's gonna blow a fucking gasket. This is bad. This is really, really bad.
Bella sighed in response, picking at the edge of the blanket thoughtfully. "I'm not sure yet. Charlie's still in the hospital and I'll need to arrange some home-care for him. Then we can start apartment hunting."
We? What the hell is this 'we' crap? You better stay the fuck away pal or your world is gonna implode. Embry Call was growing more agitated by the second. The wolf was clawing at the surface but he pushed it back, barely reining it in. Phasing right now would be a disaster for a number of reasons, the worst one being that his alpha would find out where he was and go ballistic on his ass.
"Sounds good. I'll be down for a short visit at the end of this week," was Matt's cheerful response. Bella was too absorbed to notice the growl that reverberated through Embry's thick chest or the way his body started to tremor ever so slightly, rocking the swing.
"Aww... can't wait to see me?" she teased seductively.
"You got that right," laughed Matt. "Katie knocked over my coffee the other day and it spilled all over the place. Little stinker."
Katie? Who in the blue fuck is Katie? Does Bella have a kid?
"Poor baby," she giggled.
Since when do you giggle?
"Give her a kiss for me."
"Sure thing. Alright, listen I'll talk you later. You sound completely wiped out. I just wanted to check in. I miss you around here."
"Miss you too, Matt."
"Love you, Bella."
She smiled softly, as though those three words meant the world to her and responded in kind. "I love you, too."
By the time she'd ended the call, Embry was shaking, ready to burst out of his skin. No longer distracted, she recognized the signs of the wolf ready to burst forth and became afraid.
"Are you alright?" Her eyes flew open wide, scanning the treeline for hidden danger. "Oh God! It's not... there's not any..."
"Leeches? No." Embry's voice was hard, biting out the words as if it took everything he had not to scream.
"What is it then?" Bella laid her hand on his arm, nervous and terrified about what was lurking in the shadows that made him so jumpy. The thought never occurred to her that he had heard everything she and Matt said to each other.
Embry flinched, drawing away from her as if her touch bit him like a snake. "I should go," he started, jumping up as if his pants were on fire.
"Embry, wait."
It might have been the pleading sound in her voice that made him stop, but it was the question that made him turn around. "Em, how's Jake?"
Embry's face looked harsh and menacing under the amber glow of the porch light. Muscles rippling, he crossed the distance between them in a few short strides. "Jacob is... different now, Bella." Leaning down, he growled softly in her ear, breath warm on her neck. "Stronger."
When he pulled away, Bella locked eyes with him, searching his face for an answer she already knew. "Alpha?"
Embry turned from her, walking soundlessly into the still night. "Goodbye Bella. I'll see you soon."
Climbing in bed that night, Bella wondered just what it was that had Embry so worried. As she drifted off to sleep, it was with the certain knowledge that Jacob would again come to her in dreams. The only question was when.
While Bella's eyes were drifting closed, deep in the heart of the forest, Leah Clearwater was sneaking off like a thief in the night, in search of answers.
It had been many years since the young woman had phased with her brothers. The exhilaration and mental intrusion of running with the pack had left her feeling unsettled, exhausted and afraid.
The exact moment a few years ago when Jacob had become Alpha, Leah knew. The feeling rushed over her like a tidal wave despite her separation from the pack. It was a tugging of the soul, an elemental draw to return home which she shoved down deep inside, fighting her heritage in a brutal tug of war. Nothing could have prepared Leah for what occurred upon her return.
A new magic, both intoxicating and overwhelming pulsed through her veins the second the wolf took over. Body and spirit were imbued by new power and strength Leah had never felt before. The will of the pack had changed. This pack was not light of heart. They were deadly, fierce... warriors to the core.
Jacob Black their undisputed leader.
The power of his bloodline was much stronger than Sam's had ever been. If there was ever a question of who the rightful Alpha should be, Leah knew it had been settled long ago. Jacob Black was born to lead the tribe.
Yet amid this, Leah sensed immediately that there was something wrong. Even as she stripped down to bare flesh, a sense of foreboding overcame her soul, manifesting as goosebumps on her skin. The moment her mind became one with that of her brothers, Jacob seized the opportunity and sifted through her thoughts, plucking out images and memories she'd always fought to keep private with innate skill.
The wolf was enraged with what he saw and Leah Clearwater shook in fear.
Jacob had taken off, desperate and wild to find Bella and claim her as his own. It was only through the mind of the pack that Leah realized to chase him would not only be futile, but perhaps even deadly.
Through their eyes, Leah saw what had become of Jacob Black in the intervening years since Bella's departure. When she asked why he simply did not contact them in Seattle, the pack had no real answers for her. It seemed that Jacob had cast aside his personal wants and desires for Bella's ultimate happiness and healing to his own detriment. The result was manifesting itself clearly now and they only hoped with Bella's return, the boy they once knew would resurface.
When Jacob finally returned that night, the man was quieter and more himself than he had been in some time. Yet there was still a wildness about him that could not be contained. The happy boy who had once been consumed with thoughts of Bella Swan was now obsessed. More wolf than man, Jacob had become skilled, feral even. Leah wondered what had happened to cause it.
Within days, Leah was ordered to take Bella's old truck to her and check on the Swan's so that Jacob could see for his own eyes the woman he loved and the wolf desired. Charlie and his injuries did not even factor into the equation.
That afternoon when she returned from the hospital, Jacob had slowly circled her, scenting her body like a bitch in heat. His keen senses discerned the various scents of the hospital in order to find Bella beneath the antiseptic, cleaner and stink of illness. The lines of his body visibly relaxed for a moment. A junkie in need of a fix, she thought.
Then, quite suddenly, the man folded back inside himself, the wolf going wild to find, take and claim.
The tug of war going on inside of Jacob was dangerous, not just for him and the pack, but Bella also. It weighed heavily on her heart and mind. Bella was a friend, a sister in many ways. A union between Charlie and Sue- which she was certain would happen one day- could make them family. Bella had been a friend at a time when Leah needed her. She saw past the anger and bitterness that Leah used to shield her pain. The vampire girl broke past the walls that she had built brick by brick, offering unwavering friendship and devotion. For that alone, she would protect her.
Leah needed answers.
Thunder rumbled loudly in the sky. Dark clouds began to roll in over the Pacific, blotting out the stars strung in the western sky. When the first drops of rain began to fall, Leah made her way to the old cabin on the edge of the woods. Certainly Old Quil would have some information. The medicine man would understand her apprehension and guard her thoughts carefully as though they were his own. The curtain of rain would wash away all traces of her scent, providing the secrecy which she required.
At first Leah had considered seeking out Billy. Not only was he Jacob's father, but also Chief of their people. Billy Black would know better than anyone the changes that had taken place in his son. Surely he would be able to provide her with an explanation. She quickly discarded the plan knowing it would be too easy for Jacob to catch her scent and question her presence there. There was nothing unusual in a warrior seeking out the medicine man of the tribe for spiritual guidance.
Upon arrival, Old Quil greeted her warmly, embracing and welcoming her presence into his home. Leah had a fondness for the elderly man. Between them there had always been an odd connection she could not explain. Once when she was a little girl, she told him so. The medicine man said nothing, instead giving her a mysterious smile, as if he knew some secret she did not.
Over the years a kinship had sprung between the two. Leah's father had been proud when she learned to speak the tongue of their people at the medicine man's knee. Old Quil took her on many journeys through the woods, teaching her about herbs and the powerful medicine they contained. Those things might have seemed a grand adventure to a curiosity-driven child, but now Leah wondered why. Why her of all the children in the tribe? Why not his own descendents, his grandson even? What made me so special?
Now as she sat by the glow of the fire, a strange sort of magic seemed to pulse through the air. Things were different now, much more complicated than when she left the reservation six years ago.
With new eyes Leah began to truly see the objects that took up every corner of the shaman's home. Masks skillfully carved long ago, their colors still bright and handled with care. Leather bound journals lined the bookshelf, their text outlining a history of their people, many written in Quil's own hand to preserve the stories that had been passed down for generations. A totem lay on its side, spanning the length of the longhouse, the last of its kind to survive, sheltered here from the harsh elements of Washington life.
Sitting on a small sofa covered with a dog hair blanket, Leah felt the magnitude of the past, present and preservation of their heritage surround her in a way she never had before.
Old Quil settled himself in a cedar rocker, tending to his beloved pipe as if settling in for a long conversation. "I assume you're here about Jacob?" he stated so matter-of-factly, as if there would be no other reason for her visit that night.
"I'm not even sure what to ask you, to be honest." Leah's brow wrinkled in frustration. "I am worried though. Both for him and Bella."
His old shoulders shrugged heavily with resignation. "Perhaps, we should start at the beginning."
Leah listened intently while Old Quil unravelled the mystery of the last six years and his part in it. He spoke of ancient magic, the early language of their people, a text he spent years deciphering. Then he talked about Jacob and how the tea enabled him to begin the spirit walks to find his soulmate. He did not know then that Jacob would begin to lose himself in the wolf.
Yet even if Bella returned, Old Quil was unsure if the damage could be reversed. Bella was not an imprint, that much had already been ascertained. The two carried a connection that was undeniable and perhaps that would be enough. It was the reason why he had given him the tea and the gift of such power.
Leah sighed heavily, her mind and heart burdened with the knowledge granted but not allowed to share.
Secrets. Always so many secrets.
She prayed that she would be able to keep them.
Walking away that night, Leah could not help but feel that there was more to the story, a part she had yet to play somehow. A feeling of foreboding, dread even, washed over her. Danger was coming. Of that much she was sure.
The soft shower from earlier had turned into a raging storm with violent crashes of thunder and lightning streaking across the sky that made the hackles on Leah's neck stand on end. Fighting her way through the lashing rain, the lone she-wolf stopped before the edge of the treeline that skirted the Swan property. Above the noise of the squall, she could hear Bella moaning and talking brokenly in her sleep.
It was then that she knew.
Jacob was there.