A/N: Please thank AnimeSiren for all her wonderful effort in making these chapters comprehensible!

Trial and Error
By: Akinriah Tram

Epilogue: Laisse-moi tomber, laisse nous tomber

(Six months later)

Cagalli stared out the window, holding a white mug in her hand as the steam spiralled to the top of the ceiling and disappeared. Amber orbs stared outside of the window, where the sky was a brilliant blue despite the coldness of winter. The streets were covered in a blanket of white and, as if embedded with glimmering jewels, it shined when hit by light rays. Despite its prettiness and tranquility, Cagalli decided she hated snow. It reminded her of death.

Despite the number of deaths she had encountered, Cagalli had never been good at dealing with them. Encounters with Death had frozen a part of her heart, as if a graveyard had established itself there. And much worse, it reminded her of Meyrin.

Meyrin, who died a week before spring.

She had been too busy with work, traveling between Aprilius City and Orb to sign documents, finish projects, and finalize her retirement. The residents of Orb had been devastated when her retirement was announced, but nevertheless, they accepted her decision. Yuna's succession was scheduled for April, which meant everything had to be completed by then.

As much as she didn't want to, Cagalli had missed Meyrin's death anniversary.

She remembered the shy, sincere girl whom she had entrusted Athrun to. Meyrin had looked so fragile and closed-off, but one look at her and Cagalli knew that Meyrin was strong. Meyrin was like the ember, ready to rekindle the fire. While she rested soundlessly in the background, if dire times called for it, she would be ready to fight; and she did just that.

However, fate was relentless in its cruelty.

Athrun had told her the tragedy that surrounded Meyrin when they returned to PLANT. Meyrin had been raped and then diagnosed with ALS. She had fought bravely to pick herself up, only to be destroyed by the disease. Coordinators were genetically enhanced, which virtually made them immune to diseases, but there were always exceptions. Meyrin had fallen into that category.

When Cagalli listened to Athrun describe Meyrin's condition: how she would fall when she walked or how she was always tired and drained of energy. At first, they had written it off as the effect of her trauma, but when Meyrin wasn't able to stand up by herself and had difficulty eating, that was when Athrun had took a leave of absence from his post and hired hospice nurses to take care of her.

"She fought bravely until the very end."

And Cagalli agreed.

"Good afternoon, Cagalli!"

Cagalli was pulled away from her thoughts and she blinked owlishly and stared up at the chirpiness of thirteen year old. As much as she liked a chatty Little Cagalli, there was something with the way the teenager was smiling too much that it was putting her on alert.

Cagalli Zala never smiled this much. Not even when she was around Athrun, and everybody knew that Cagalli Zala was a Daddy's girl through and through.

"You're awfully happy today." The older woman stated slowly as she quirked a suspicious eyebrow.

"Well, for once, you're not drinking mocha," she pointed to the cup in Cagalli's hand that was filled with green tea.

"I doubt me drinking tea actually would uplift your mood this much." Cagalli said wryly as she ushered the girl into the seat across her. "Spill, what are you hiding?"

"Oh! But I'm not hiding anything!" The voice raised an octave and was filled with sugary innocence. "I would never hide anything from you, Cagalli. In fact, I would even want to share it with you."

Immediately, all the senses in Cagalli heightened. She knew that whatever the younger Zala was getting her into wouldn't be good.

"I feel like if I say yes, I'm going to regret this."

"No you won't."

"No. I think I can go without knowing it."

"But-" The doe eyes that Cag was flashing were not going to tempt her. Not going to tempt her. Not going to -

"Spit it out already!"

The saccharine smile returned, "Akira and I are dating!" Little Cagalli giggled as her cheeks were tinted red.

"Really?!" This time, it was Cagalli who was smiling widely. "I can't believe Little Cagalli is already dating someone. Just wait 'til Athrun hears about this."

"Well, that's the thing..."

Cagalli's eyes widened in realization, "Oh, I'm definitely not going to do it."

"I'll tell Mina to buy coffee for the house."

"Cagalli Zala, you are not bribing me."

"But I'm not." The saccharine tone was so sweet it would give her cavities. "I'm just requesting that you talk to Father because he listens to you. Besides, everyone in my class is dating."

Somehow, Cagalli felt like she was too young for this. This feeling of excitement and warmth... was it what mothers felt when their daughters confide in them? It was strange but it felt good, as if this was the first time Cagalli truly bonded with Athrun's daughter.

"I'm not promising anything," She said finally but she could feel a smile creeping slowly upon her own face, "and I definitely need to meet him first."

"Cool, 'cause I've already invited him to next week's lunch and I know you'll love him."

-;-

Athrun recently realized that he didn't like his daughter and his fiancée spending time with each other. He'd wanted the two most important women in his life to get along with each other, but now that Cag was telling Cagalli secrets rather than him... Athrun felt betrayed.

It was ridiculous: He was the one that raised the girl; he was the one that fed her when she was child; he gave her baths, took her to the amusement park, and read bedtime stories! He did all his fatherly duties. All Cagalli did was pick Cag up from school on Fridays and have lunch with her. That was one day out of the entire week, yet Cag decided to spill the most important secret to Cagalli, rather than him. In one way or another, he'd rather have his daughter go back to disliking or being indifferent about his fiancée.

Athrun didn't mean for all this to come out on the evening of their date, but the shock of finding out that Cag was harbouring a crush for a boy (he refused to say that the feelings were reciprocated) was definitely too much for him to handle. There was no way his daughter was going to date this Akira boy! Except-

"They've been dating for two weeks." Cagalli chirped with a smug smirk on her face, as if to say there wasn't anything he could do about it.

Athrun stared.

And Cagalli's rich voice rang throughout the car in a series of laughter.

Athrun continued to stare at her.

And she rolled her eyes as if his rant was the most ridiculous thing ever.

"Well yeah," She commented on his unvoiced thought when she finally calmed herself, "Of course she would come to me about it. Do you hear yourself right now? And stop pouting, Athrun. You're too old for that."

He glared at her, "Cag's too young to date. She's only thirteen! Even if she's nearly as tall as you, she's still a kid. It doesn't matter if the rest of the world is dating, because my daughter is not allowed to bring a boy home!"

"You're worse than a jealous boyfriend," Cagalli commented, "and relax! I've met the guy and he's-" The car screeched to a halt.

"You've met him!"

Cagalli winced. No wonder his daughter begged her to break the news to his father. Athrun's reaction was definitely worse than she'd anticipated.

"You should've told me first thing when you found out she was dating! I can't believe you met him and kept it from me!"

"Right, because you would've put a restraining order on him and relocated Cag to some school in December City," Cagalli rolled her eyes.

"I'm considering it," the Chairman of PLANT gritted his teeth in annoyance.

She laughed.

"What?" Athrun fumed.

"The Chairman of PLANT is usually so calm and stoic of every political matter. It's hard to believe that a mere twelve year-old-boy can manage to push all his wrong buttons without even meeting him."

"I'm definitely not humored by this."

"What's wrong with dating at thirteen? We dated when we were fifteen. "

"We were two years older and it was a mistake."

Immediately, her guard was up."Oh, we're not fighting about this now, Athrun. Not on our six-month anniversary."

Athrun sighed heavily, "I'm not provoking a fight, Cagalli. I'm just stating the fact. We were young then, which led us into making all the wrong decisions. Look at us: I don't even know what we are anymore."

"You're mad at me because I refuse to go through with the marriage." Cagalli felt her jaws clenched.

"With good reason."

"I told you before, I'm not ready. You're asking too much of me. You're asking more than I can give."

"And what is it Cagalli?" Athrun pulled over to the side of the road and took off his seatbelt. When he turned to face her, his eyebrows were wrinkled in frustration and there was anger in his eyes. "Our fights always stop here. You never tell me anything. A relationship is supposed to be based on trust but you refuse to tell me what's going on in that mind of yours. You probably have your reasons and I'm waiting patiently as I can, but I'm just about at my limit. I'm not asking you for anything, except for your hand in marriage. And as I recalled, you were standing on the altar six months ago with a man you didn't love."

"It's as you say. I was ready to marry Yuna because I didn't love him. I don't want to make that mistake again."

"So what you're saying is that you don't love me enough to marry me." Emerald eyes narrowed dangerously. Even if his voice was calm, Cagalli could hear the anger lacing behind his words.

"What? No!" Cagalli yelled, "It's just, I'm not ready!"

Athrun was beginning to lose his patience. "When are you going to be ready then?" He lashed out.

She was wheezing in panic now. It had been a while since she last drank coffee. Nothing was making sense anymore. Cagalli felt her fingers contracting, wishing to grab a familiar cylindrical surface of a coffee cup.

"You've always had the choice to walk away, Cagalli. So let me ask you, why do you keep coming back?"

She stared at his side profile, unable to respond.

"Every time we fight about this, we go on pretending that it never happens." His hands gripped the steering wheel hard, to the point where his knuckles were white. Athrun stared straight ahead without even looking at her. "But I'm done with pretending that our fights never happen. I thought that you're my fiancée because you accepted the ring, but I guess I was wrong. You haven't even been wearing the ring, not even for today. Let's make it easier for the both of us and break off the engagement."

Cagalli stared at the previous space in which Athrun occupied. Even now, she didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure if she should chase after him or wait for him in the car. Even then, if she did catch him, what would she say?

She had tried to tell him her stupid reasons of not marrying him: she was not strong enough to support him in time of need. She was still figuring out who she was and struggling to pull herself up. She had tried to tell him many times, but her pride refused to let the words leave her lips.

Cagalli sighed as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

She was going to resort to her last option.

Getting out of the car, Cagalli walked along the busy downtown street filled with bars, ice cream shops, and boutiques. A sad smile graced her lips as she pulled open the door of a quaint café and walked in.

-;-

"It's been three weeks," the blonde hair woman said as the alarm went off. Cagalli opened the oven to check her turkey.

"You and Athrun have been fighting about this for months." Lacus stated as she sat on the counter stool, watching the other woman at work in her own kitchen. "Why do you think you and Athrun will go through a divorce?"

Cagalli paused from her task and turned to her, "With the state I'm in, Lacus, I'm going to lose him. When you get to know a person, all their flaws come out and then sometimes you can't handle them. I don't know what I'll do if Athrun sees through me. He'll think it's a mistake. He'll leave me, and then I won't know what to do. I won't be able to handle it."

"Don't you think that's childish thinking? I don't think you're giving Athrun any credit." Cagalli flinched at the sudden aloofness in Lacus' voice. Sure enough, when she turned to face her sister-in-law, Lacus had a frown marred on her face and her jaw clenched in disapproval. "You're already losing him, Cagalli. You say that Athrun's not giving Akira a chance but you haven't given Athrun and yourself a chance. Up to this point, it has always been Athrun who was trying to make the relationship work."

"But Lacus-"

"-You need to stop thinking too far ahead. You love him, don't you?"

Cagalli took a deep breath, "Of course."

"Then let's make mistakes," another voice interrupted. It was the same velvety voice that Cagalli was all too familiar with. "We'll fight through it, Cagalli. Just like any other trial." Turning around, she saw her fiancé walk in. He took a look at the mess in the Yamato kitchen and raised an eyebrow."Are you cooking for my army?"

"I told her." Lacus shot her a pointed look with an underlying smile. "You know how she gets when she's stressed."

And it was true. Cagalli had found a strange hobby in cooking when she was under stress. It was discovered when she moved to Aprilius City and lived by herself. She remembered Kira and Lacus' astonishment when she showed up one afternoon with boxes of a variety of African dishes. They were the days when she had felt so lost, needing to find the will to pick herself up and figure out who she really was, once stripped of the title of Chief Representative.

Despite the fact that Athrun was back in her life, Cagalli knew she had to beat her mentality. She knew that with her state, Athrun would only be a temporary blanket of happiness and it was only matter time before she slipped back into her self-deprecation state. It was a battle she had to face herself.

"I'm going to let you two talk." Lacus smiled as she excused herself from the room.

They stared at each other awkwardly.

"You still remember what you said three weeks ago, right?" Cagalli asked slowly.

Athrun walked closer and took a seat in the kitchen stool that was previously occupied by his ex-fiancée.

"That I want more than you can give?"

"You asked me why I keep coming back." Cagalli turned off the stove and made her way to him. Instead of sitting down next to him, she remained standing. "I love you, Athrun, and I want you in my life," closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, "but there's a battle within me that I have to get through. I need to figure out who I am, Athrun. I'm still picking myself up. I'm not ready to be a part of your family. I'm not ready to take care of you."

There was a snort.

Cagalli opened up her eyes in confusion as she stared at Athrun, who was smiling at her in bemusement. She frowned. He was secretly laughing at her.

"You're so cheesy, Cagalli. 'Take care of you?" He laughed, "We're not teenagers anymore."

"I'm serious," she sniffed as she folded her arms across her chest and turned to the side. Suddenly, she was jerked back. Athrun had grabbed her shoulders and turned her so that she was facing him.

"You don't need to take care of me, Cagalli. You only have to take care of yourself for me."

She stared at him,

"You're not the only one who's scared, Cagalli," he paused, "truthfully, I'm terrified right now."

"Why?"

"I haven't been a good father to Cag. I haven't dated anyone since we broke up. As much as I tried, I don't think I made it on the list of good husbands. I don't know a bloody thing about relationships."

She chuckled dryly, "Well, that makes two of us." Oddly, despite his panic, she found his confession comforting. It was good to know that she wasn't the only one who was having doubts about her life.

Cagalli took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Truthfully, she felt like she was jumping into a fire pit. She definitely should think twice about this, but like her sister-in-law said, she needed to stop thinking so far ahead. "Can you do me a favor and unclasp my necklace?"

He looked at her strangely, but bid her request. When he took off the necklace, he realized that it was just like before. Cagalli had worn her engagement ring around her neck all this time beneath her shirt.

"Old habits die hard. You know I hate wearing any jewelry." She slipped the ring off the chain and then grabbed his hand.

She saw his eyes widened and could feel him panicking. "Stop it. It's not what you think." The order came out harsher than she intended.

"Then what is it?"

Cagalli could feel her heart was speeding up, but she never looked anywhere else. Athrun had always been the one to fight for them. This time, it was her turn. Staring boldly into his eyes, she asked, "Will you marry me?"

He stared at her for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly, crazy thoughts flew to her head: Perhaps Athrun had decided that he didn't want her anymore. Maybe he was really tired of her now and didn't want to try anymore. Maybe-

"Stop thinking trivial thoughts," Athrun murmured and leaned in, grazing his lips against hers. It was strange. Why was it strange?

And then it dawned her. Despite them being together for the past six months, they had never kissed once. It was because Athrun had always been waiting for her; always analyzing and adjusting to go with her flow-just as he was now. His eyes were open and he looked moments away from breaking off the kiss.

Ignoring the sunken feeling in her stomach, Cagalli closed her eyes tightly. It was all so strange, yet so familiar. She remembered this. She remembered the way his lips moved, capturing her upper lip and then her bottom lip. It was both controlling and tentative, all at the same time. Slowly, she leaned in and when she started kissing him back, every shred of doubt and fear in her body vanished into nothingness, like the aftermath a passing storm.

A/N: I know I'm like four months late, but I've been seriously working on it for four months. It took me that long to compile the scenes, write it, rewrite it, change previous scenes, edit, and rewrite it. You should see the number of drafts I scrapped on this one chapter, especially because there was a time leap and I had to write according to how the characters interact and mature. It was bloody hard! So thank you for those who review, because it honestly helped me power through.

To address A Beautiful Disaster: I have no plans for it. The process is just a lot more complicated than I originally anticipated, so I'm going to leave it at that for now. Perhaps some random muse will hit me during the summer of 2015, but as of now, no promises. The original is on my livejournal if you want to read it.

Once again, thank you so much! I love you to pieces!