Lost in Translation

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki

Part Five-Acceptance

Bella woke up to find herself lying in Jacob's bed. She sat up too abruptly, and groaned when her body protested at this sharp movement. She was feeling her injuries now. Her skin felt sore from the many scratches and bruises, and her throat was parched and scratchy. She held a hand to her head as she swung her body carefully out of the bed and stood unsteadily on her feet. Jacob must have carried her to bed after she had fallen asleep next to him on the couch. It was just another thoughtful and caring thing he had done for her, which she knew she didn't deserve. If the previous days outcome had been different, she wouldn't be standing here right now. Slowly Bella made her way out of Jacob's room, making sure to hold onto the wall as she walked, to make sure she didn't pitch forward.

As soon as she emerged into the main living room, she found her dad and Billy sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Of Jacob there was no sign. Charlie immediately got up from his chair and went to assist his daughter when he noticed her complexion turn white. "How are you feeling, kiddo?" He asked solicitously as he took her arm and helped her over to the table.

"Not great." Bella rasped. She sat on one of the chairs and held a hand to her dry throat.

Charlie noticed this gesture and hurriedly ran to the water jug to pour her some. Bella was grateful for the cold glass he passed her and immediately chugged the cool liquid, it soothed her throat, and made her feel a little better. "Thanks."

"No problem, kiddo." Charlie took the glass from her and went back to pour her some cereal. "Cornflakes alright?" He called back to her.

Bella hardly felt like eating anything, but she didn't want her father to worry anymore than he already had done. "Yes, thank you." She glanced toward Billy who had thus far remained silent. She was dying to ask where Jake had gone, and as if he could read her mind, Billy put down his spoon and smiled at her gently.

"Jake will be back soon. He had a few calls to make this morning." Billy resumed eating as Charlie rejoined them.

Bella knew this was Billy's code to tell her Jacob was out patrolling with the pack. He must be filling them in on how she was faring. Guilt set in again as she ate her cereal in silence. She had so nearly ruined everything because of her rash behaviour. When she was hurting, everyone else suffered. It was so hard to see herself as she really was. The picture she painted in her head was not a pretty one, and she wondered what on earth kept Jacob so loyal to her. How could he continue to love and support her after all the crazy things she had done? Then again she supposed that was what love really meant, carrying on hoping that the person you cared about would change, and learn from the mistakes of the past. So far she knew she had failed on all counts.

Last night's brief conversation had been a revelation. They couldn't really speak properly, not with their fathers in the same room. Apart from the fact that they were both emotionally exhausted, and in Bella's case, physically as well, meant that they didn't have the energy to discuss anything. All Bella knew was that Jacob had confessed his love verbally for the hundredth time and he seemed to know that she was finally admitting she felt the same.

As they all continued to eat Charlie got a call on his cell. He reluctantly took it and sighed heavily when he cut off the caller mid flow. Bella guessed there was some crisis at work, and he was feeling guilty that he had to leave. She rushed to reassure him. "Just go, dad. I'm okay." She mustered up a smile.

Charlie did not seem convinced. He put a hand over hers and squeezed. "You still look pale." He said worriedly.

"I'm always pale." Bella tried to inject some humour into the reply, but it fell flat. Luckily Billy intervened.

"Go on in, Chief." He began to stack up the breakfast plates, ready to take them to the sink. "I'll keep an eye on Bella until you get back. Jake will be back soon anyway."

"You sure?" Charlie checked one last time.

"Go." Billy threw a cloth at Charlie, laughing as he did so.

Charlie caught it easily and finally broke out into a smile. Bella thought how much younger he seemed when the frown lines were smoothed from his forehead. She knew she was responsible for each and every one. She placed her hands in her lap like a chastised child as more shame washed over her. Charlie got up from his seat. "Thanks, Billy." He dropped a kiss on Bella's head and patted her shoulder as he passed. "I won't be too long."

"Be careful, dad." Bella said as he went to get his jacket.

"Always am." Charlie waved at her and Billy before leaving the house.

It was quiet after he left. Bella helped Billy do the dishes and then she headed for the shower. She longed to wash off the detritus from the day before, and wished she could do the same for her memory. As Bella ripped off the borrowed t-shirt and shorts she stared at her image in the small mirror which hung above the sink in the Black's bathroom. She did indeed look paler than normal, her skin was practically translucent. It didn't help that she had dark circles under her eyes, and she was too thin. It was the haunted look which hung about her which made her seem lifeless. The anxiety and shame was reflected back at her. It hung over her like a permanent shroud and she felt as if it was a ghost looking back at her, the longer she stared at her reflection. "What happened to you, Bella Swan?" She whispered as she reached out and touched the mirror, tracing her fingers across the ghostly image. After a moment she dropped her hand. She knew the answer to that question. Edward Cullen had happened. As soon as she had let him into her life and her heart she was doomed.

Jacob came back into the house, his short hair was plastered to his head and water ran down his bare torso as he caught the towel his father threw his way. It was pelting down outside. It had started not long after Charlie had left. It seemed they were in for another storm. He rubbed his skin down with the towel as he scanned the house looking for Bella.

"She's in the shower." Billy gestured toward the hall.

Jacob's body relaxed. For a brief moment he had thought she had left. He noticed the cruiser was gone and had worried that Bella had left with Charlie. He finished drying off and took the stack of pancakes that Billy passed to him wordlessly and began to eat them. It was his second breakfast of the day. He needed to keep his energy levels up. The previous days events had sapped his energy reserves. "How was she this morning?" He asked his father in a low voice so Bella wouldn't hear.

"Weary, and a little sore from all the hits her body took. She ate something, so that's good." Billy rolled his chair forward and looked up at his son. "You?"

"I'm fine." Jacob said a little too quickly.

Billy raised his eyebrows, not believing him in the slightest. "This is me you're talking to, son."

Jacob finished eating and put his plate down on the table. He pulled up a chair and slumped into it. "She could have died." He choked out.

Billy put a comforting had on his broad shoulder and squeezed. "I know the accident must have brought back bad memories of your mother's." He said gently. "I've been thinking about it too." His eyes filled with moisture as he thought about his dead wife. It was so easy to picture her lovely face. People used to say the pain faded and so did the ability to capture the way a person used to look. But not for Billy. He could recall everything about Sarah, how she smiled, the way she wore her hair, the lovely texture of her skin. If he really tried he could even imagine the feel of her skin under his fingertips and picture the responsive way she would react to him as he touched her. It was those little intimate moments he had shared with her that he missed the most.

Jacob raised his head and locked eyes with his father's. "I can't get it out of my head. I keep seeing the truck bursting into flames, and the smell of the smoke, and how helpless I felt. I feel helpless even now. I want to protect her but..."

"But she has to learn to protect herself." Billy finished for him. He squeezed Jacob's shoulder again before dropping his hand. "She knows she did wrong." He continued. "It was written all over her face when I saw her this morning. She will get better, Jake. Have faith."

"I love her so much." Jacob whispered as his eyes wandered toward the hall. They both fell silent as they heard the bathroom door opening and the sound of Bella's bare feet padding along the floor toward Jacob's bedroom. "I can't lose her. I wouldn't survive it." He turned his desperate eyes back to Billy.

"But you would." Billy stated firmly. "I did, and if it came down to it, you would too."

Bella borrowed another t-shirt of Jacob's to pull over her ruined dress. She knotted it around her slim waist and then slowly walked back to rejoin Billy. She was startled to find Jacob had returned. She hadn't heard him come back. But then again he was a ghost in his own right. He could move around now and not make a sound. She paused when she saw him, her old habit of winding her arms around her middle coming to the fore, as she tried to hold herself together. She noticed Jacob frown when she did this and she immediately pulled her arms apart and tried to stand a little straighter. The tension was palpable. Billy coughed awkwardly before mumbling something about needing to check something outside. He left the house discreetly, giving them the space they needed to talk.

They stood staring at each other for a moment, neither of them willing to be the first to break the tense silence. Bella was so used to Jacob taking charge and being the one to comfort her, that she felt out of her depth as he held back, waiting for her to make the first move. She swallowed thickly, a lump forming her in her throat as she tried to think of what to say. The right words never seemed to come to her when she so desperately needed them. Her lips parted as she drew in a few quick, sharp breaths. The tension increased, and for a moment she felt as if it was vibrating in the air in front of her. Jacob's expression was inscrutable. She couldn't read what he was thinking at all. It was as if he had taken on Sam's stoical mask now that he had gained his Alpha status. "Jake." His name was practically torn from her throat as she stumbled forward a little. Her hands reaching out to him. "I love you, Jake. I love you, and I am so sorry." There she had said it. The words were out there and couldn't be taken back.

But for once Bella had found the right ones. To her relief Jacob stepped forward and wrapped her fragile body and lifted her in his strong arms. Her ear was pressed to his chest, the thrumming of his heart beating comfortingly, making the fear and anxiety recede, to be replaced with hope. She felt his lips press into her hair as he whispered. "I love you too, honey. Love you too."

"Katie is a...a...she...she's in love with a woman?" Bella couldn't comprehend it. The jealousy she had felt toward the other woman dissipated to be replaced with a feeling of empathy mixed with guilt of having suspected something that was not there. "I thought that you and she...I'm so sorry." She hid her head in the crook of his neck again as her face reddened.

Jacob stroked her wet hair, letting his fingers untangle the long strands. "Emily's sniping couldn't have helped. I should have been more open with you, Bells. I didn't help the situation. But you should have come and talked to me. You have to stop assuming the worst and running." His hand tightened on the back of her head as the image of the flaming truck entered his head. He couldn't seem to banish it from his mind. What if she hadn't managed to escape?

Bella pulled herself upright and looked at him. His face was full of anguish and it finally hit her like a freight train how much he must have suffered, seeing the aftermath of her recklessness. She had been so self absorbed again that she hadn't given a thought to how he must be feeling. In her head Jacob was vital and strong, and could cope with anything. But she was wrong to assume he was like that all the time. Of course the accident would have affected him greatly. Was there no end to her selfishness? "I wish I could take back every hurt that I've caused you." She said in despair. She gripped his face between her hands and looked him directly in the eyes as she spoke. She wouldn't hide from her mistakes anymore. She would own them. "But I can't. I've been a selfish fool, Jake." She put a finger over his lips when he began to protest. "No I have. I blame others for the choices I alone made. Everything that has happened is because I took the wrong path. I've let everyone down, myself most of all. But I want to change." Bella leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. "No I need to change. I will. Starting right now, this minute, this second. Today is the start of the new me."

Jacob took her finger away from his lips and smiled at her sadly. "I don't want you to change. I love you as you are. Yes, you could think before you act, and stop being so rash. But you are lovely as you are. Don't you get it?" His felt frustrated that she still felt the need to blame herself for every little thing that had happened. They were all complicit in the events of the past. She took it all onto her shoulders, and that was the problem. She needed to let it all go. Otherwise they would never move forward. He had made as many mistakes as she had. None of them were blameless. "I love you."

Bella felt choked up as the utter honesty showing in his dark eyes proved to her that he meant every word. How could she have ever doubted him? "You are too forgiving, Jake." She caressed his face with trembling fingers until they reached his lips again. "And I don't deserve you, but I want to try." Before he could say more she took the initiative and kissed him firmly on the mouth, the first time she had ever done so of her own volition. A rush of warmth surged through her as she felt his arms wind around her and pull her onto his lap. "I love you." She murmured against his lips as they moved languidly together. There was none of the desperation mixed with fear that had hovered between them the last time they had kissed. This was soft, gentle, loving and full of heat as Bella's fingers sank into his hair and pulled him ever closer, saying with her body what she struggled to express verbally, that she was his, and he was hers.

As it had on the mountaintop all those months ago, an image fluttered in Bella's consciousness. She saw again the two young children holding on tightly to her hands as they all ran toward a tall figure in the distance. The sun was behind him, casting him in shadow, but the Bella in this vision didn't let the children go like she had before and watch them run and fade into the distance. This time she kept a firm grip on their hands and ran alongside them, until they reached the man holding out his arms to them.

A/N-thanks for reading!