Chapter 23 - Secrets

Secrets... always so many secrets. They were the cornerstone of her life, marking the passage of time in the most unforgiving, unrelenting and impossible of ways. They piled on her breast as heavy stones, until she thought the weight of them would bury her alive.

Leah stared dumbfounded at the man sitting across from her. A man she thought she knew, now realizing that she had only ever scratched the surface of his cool facade.

"Fairy? A real live, spangly winged, peter-pan crowing, flying fairy?"

Matt smothered the urge to laugh at her not so subtle explanation about his secret life. "Well, not in those terms exactly, but yes, I am one of the fae. The blood of the Sidhe- the Tuatha Dé Danann- runs thick through my body," he stated proudly.

"Fuck me..." Leah's eyes were round as saucers. She swallowed thickly, the information feeling like peanut butter stuck in her throat. "So, tonight, when you saw me changing, that was magic. Real magic... from you," she stated, pointing at him as though it were impossible, "that was what stopped me?"

"Why do you seem so astounded by it?" he countered. "The same power that lives in me flows also through your veins. You humans are always so shocked by the unknown. Didn't it ever occur to you that there are other beings in this world, which like yourself, draw from the energy of another plane?"

Dramatically, Leah swiped her hands over her face, holding them out animatedly when she replied, "The idea had crossed my mind, but I figured I'd run across another shapeshifter or maybe even a witch. Not a motherfucking fairy of all things!" she exclaimed.

It wasn't the reply he expected out of one so in tune with the spiritual side of life. Instead he felt insulted, worse yet, angry that she would be so melodramatic over the fact. Mat allowed his keen eyes to penetrate deep into her soul so that she could see the full depth of frustration which emanated from deep within his soul. "Yeah, well, believe it." The metal folding chair creaked and skidded across the floor when he stood up, turning his back on her, abruptly ending the conversation. Maybe tomorrow when it all had sunk in things would be different, but right now he was regretting outing himself tonight.

"Matt, I'm sorry," she apologized, getting up from her chair and walking over to him. This man was important to her, more than he knew. Leah hugged him tightly from behind. The heavy muscle of his arms flexed beneath the skin, making her realize that he was strong. Strong enough to knock a wolf backwards into the rubble. "I didn't mean to offend you, I just don't know what to do with this. Once upon a time I thought there was something else, something more to you. Hell, I followed you all over Seattle trying to figure it out."

Matt turned around, returning her embrace. "I know you did."

Leah froze with shock. It seemed strange to her that in two years time she had never uncovered any of his secrets but somehow he seemed to know all of hers. It was an invasion almost. The feeling of being naked before a crowd. "You knew.. you knew that I was a wolf."

A small smile curved on his lips. Knowing her well, Matt was certain of the thoughts running through her head. "I've known for much longer than you could possibly imagine."

Leah swallowed hard, desperate to lighten the situation. To find some sort of stability. "I suppose next you're going to tell me that you're not really gay and all of this is just a veneer," she joked. "A piece of your cover."

Matt looked steadily into her eyes, the power of an ancient people rising to the surface lacing his words with a caligulan sensuality. "In Tír-na-nogthere is no taboo between male and female when it comes to sex. The feast of flesh was created for enjoyment. It is a part of the fae to taste the fruits of both man and woman and revel in ecstasy through the joining."

Leah reeled, feeling betrayal slice through her like a hot knife. It was all but a masquerade. Matt only showed the world- showed her- what he wanted them to see. Distrust, lies and contempt. Each one a sharpened nail pricking at her soul. Leah Clearwater hated deceit. "You lied to me. Why?" The men in her life always lied to her. First her father, then Sam and now Matt.

"This is who I chose to be in this life," he stated, willing her to understand. "This was the human experience I wanted in this time. Perhaps in a hundred years or more I will return to this place, take a wife and maybe even father a child. The fae are not defined by the moral ideology that humans place so much emphasis on. Being straight, gay or bisexual is not a way of life to us. We simply are what we are."

This revelation astounded her nearly as much as the fact that she lived in a world where fairies existed. Giddy, and slightly overwrought, she felt the urge to start checking the forest just to see if the little Keebler Elves made themselves at home in one of the trees.

"Is there anything else I should know about? How old are you? I feel like you're still not telling me something."

Matt struggled with that question. He too, hated deception, but it was sometimes necessary. Leah was not yet ready to know the full measure of power she would one day wield. The time was coming, faster that perhaps he realized, but there were things which had to happen first.

Then there was Bella. It was undeniable that Leah wanted to protect her with a human heart. Aside from being family and his orders to keep her safe, Matt too wanted to shield her from the harsh realities of the world.

There was a goodness to her that could be called a generosity of spirit that didn't exist in many. Bella Swan felt more than most he encountered in the human race. Empathy and passion that drove her, perhaps due to what had once lacked in her own young life. There were many kindnesses that she bestowed on the unsuspecting. A child crossing the street, a mother or father desperate to pay their bills, the way she desired to help the native people. They were just a few of the many things that she did quietly and with grace.

Protecting her was not only an order, but a natural instinct, the desire to shield those souls in the world who are pure from those who sought to destroy them.

"Older than the trees that surround your land. Younger than the ocean. The passage of time has little meaning to our people." Matt paused, unsure of how to give the answers which she sought. "There are other things," he stated. "Things I am bound not to speak of, but that in time, you will come to know." Matt glanced down at his forearm, the thick, ancient mark representing the spiritual idealism of her people giving him hope. "You see this? Remember it and speak to your shaman. Ask him where you belong and why he teaches you. Seek out understanding and then perhaps we will talk some more if you are ready."

Matt said no more that night and Leah knew the conversation was ended. She would have to come to grips with this new reality and once more, figure out a way to shield her thoughts from those of the pack. Sometime in the coming weeks she would seek out Old Quil and demand more answers from the man, seeking truth wrapped up in ancient mystery.

Secrets. Always so many secrets. Each one shrouded in a blanket of lies. As Leah watched Matt lift a fallen beam out of the way, it occurred to her that perhaps she had finally met her match.