So I just did this and it got erased because the page refreshed and I didn't copy it yet, welp. time to rewrite. Also, two things: sorry if the story is slow or like too painful, I understand that the sections end intensely, it's hard to write in "sections" rather than a book lol. 2. I rewrote earlier chapters to take out Cinna, after reviewing my work I realized it would be best if she remained dead. As much as I love him, his death was before the Hovercraft, I should respect that. Also, I rewrote some things in some chapters because I just did not like the way things sounded, story is still the same so rereading isn't mandatory but thought i'd tell you. :P
We pick ourselves off the floor and head to our quarters, this whole experience sort of numbed us... These past two days have sort of went numbly by, I feel like we've really just given up and have grown tired of this intense vicious cycle of being emotionally abused by the Games and our current lives. We had some appointments that went by fast due to our distracted minds. Yesterday I was with a man who laughed at the situation of my family, the jokes did not have any real effect on me since I was already numb to begin with. Finnick had some client he wouldn't talk about that made him cry. Everything in between that sort of blended and faded into one empty thought. Finnick was just as emotionless and we didn't speak of what we saw in the judging area... I don't think they'll miss our presence anyways. I think we missed the scoring, Haymitch said something about how Peeta painted a painting of all the faces I of people I lost to the Games. Something about Gale and Cato's sisiter being deadly. Finnick's district all for around five and sixes. Prim got a 7 like Rue did but the rest is just a blur. What is today? I look and see I am in bed as if these past days were a dream and I were always asleep, "What day is it?"
"2nd to last."
We sighed. These days were real. Ceaser is next.
Finnick pauses and turns over toward me with empty but sweet eyes, "You ok?"
"yea i'm just a little out of it."
"Game of knots?" he says while pulling a piece of rope from under the pillow, I nod in agreement tying a perfect knot. Seconds later, it was pulled apart with his teeth in a disappointed sigh, "If I knew I'd be this easy, I would've just done it.."
"Done what?"
Suddenly, this grasp was close to mine and his eyes were seductivly taking me in. He looks into my eyes and beings to graze my arms with his touch, "this."
I look back somewhat mesmerized by him, my body is begging him to continue and I am sure he knows it. He begins trailing his lips among the many crevices my body has to offer, hearing my weak sighs in between breaths. His fingers begin to trail around my leg and into my thigh. He stops. Making me look up at him in short confusion, "What's wrong kitten?" he is such a tease. I just stare back as if I am use to his tricks. He smiles softly and begins to move his finger tips among my skin and into dampened crevice, I try very hard to not show too much emotion. He moves rhythmically in me and in my best attempt to shelter my voce, I let out a euphoric sigh of bliss. I can feel his smirk widen as his fingers danced deeper inside me. I said his name and that made him move faster. After minutes of repeating his name in uncontrollable moans, I was released of the feelings in me and put into a comfy trance. He pulls his fingertips out and looks at me in a sly air of happiness, "Another game?"
I laugh knowing I will lose and was going to agree when I hear a door open and a voice trail inside near us, "Katniss, Haymitch told me I'd find you here," It was Gale, "I just wanted to apologize for-" he sees me... Next to Finn.. And pauses. "What are you doing?" I lean up remembering how sensitive Gale is about everything...
"He's my..."
"Whore?" Finnick flashes up at Gale's response and jars his teeth,
"Girlfriend."
Gale takes a step back and looks angry again, quickly turning to leave, "Nevermind, I was stupid to think we mattered anymore. Capitol sluts."
"Capitol whores," Finnick says in an arrogant breathe.
"whatever," I hear him call as the door closes. I look at Finn in a concerning way and he smiles toward me,
"Don't worry about it." I try not to and get out of bed to be prepped once again for another day. I step on the cool floor toward the hall, hearing Finn's steps behind me. I see Venia smile as she pulls me into the steel room to be prepped from Beauty Base Zero. It goes by quickly, the feathering on the face, slipping on of different fabrics, plaster of various makeups. I look in the mirror and see I am in a red dress, short and slimming. I see Finnick still geting dressed into what looks like a navy blue tux that shines black, it's stunning, "You're so dashing" I laugh.
He looks over and compliments me back, as he takes my hand to leave. A group of peacekeepers walk us to a room that seems to have people voices screaming and then I hear trumpets, "Ugh... Ceaser." We hold our breath as we wave to people down the asiles and walk toward our seats. Ceaser waves to us and we sit, front row in front of the stage... We sigh. He introduces some tributes and they are ignored by us, I whisper to Finn instead of listening as does he. We do this until he reaches District 4. His brothers didn't even look at Finn or acknowledge him, Ceaser said about being an Odair but they both said something about how it mean absolutely nothing. There was no sympathy in Finn's eyes. Then there was Annie, she looked at Finn and I before speaking every sentence.
"You're back... Tell me, do you have anything you want to say?"
"My love, my last thought will be of your lips." Finnick bites his lip and flinches a bit.
"That sentence seems awfully farmiliar.. Tell me-"
"No." she says, walking off the stage. There was an awkward silence till Finn stood up and began to clap, which made the rest of the room join him (the always listen to him).
I prepare myself for seeming my family in the coming minutes. It goes by slow but it does come. My mother talks about how much she loves Prim and I, and I quiver a bit when she says she has to leave soon. The mothers in the audience were deeply affected and patted their eyes. Next, was Prim. She talked about how she use to be afraid but now she is just doesn't care. She said she loved me. I mouthed I love you back as she walked off stage. Peeta was next, the beloved District 12 boy.
"Tell me, how it feels to be here again."
"It feels like nothing. I feel nothing. All i felt was taken away from me," he glances at me, "I know this is the last time I'll be here."
"Why not fight?"
"Why fight if the ones you love are in danger if you fight? I'd rather save her," I wasn't sure if he was talking about Prim or me but I let a few tears fall down my face. Ceaser mentioned how it must feel to see me not with him, he says it hurt but it wasn't my fault. He leaves silently. Gale was last, new face.
He smiled to everyone, "Gale."
He shakes Ceaser's hand, "Let me guess, Katniss's family?"
"Friend, use to be best friends." use to? Ceaser asked why it was use to also, he said, "She changed into somekind of capitol mutt..."
"What does that make you do?"
"it makes me want to let go of my past and start over, let go of who I use to be and just. Go."
"Will you win?"
"I'll try." That stung me because that means he doesn't care about anyone anymore. I loom at him in horror and he just looks away, "There's nothing left I love anyways."
I shut out the world and go blind, ignoring anything that happens next. I only think of how everyone I love is dying and it hurts. This is his way of saying goodbye.