Chapter 30 - Love
That night, Bella couldn't sleep. The revolution of her mind would not still, too many thoughts crowding each other out, shouting at her to figure them out. Quietly slipping out from beneath Jacob's heavy arm, she padded silently down the stairs hoping not to wake him.
A chill hung in the late evening air, the last vestige of autumn long gone. Clad only in a thin strappy undershirt and panties, Bella crossed her arms over her chest, rubbing them briskly to stave off the cold. The shirt Jacob wore earlier in the night lay across the back of the couch, discarded and forgotten amid the evening's revelations. Bella slipped it over her shoulders, nearly drowning in it, then buttoned the front and rolled the cuffs of the far too long sleeves.
Picking up her laptop from the entry table, she made her way into Jacob's office, closing the door quietly behind her and then turned on the light with the hope that a bit of work might clear her brain. His desk was a mess of papers, bills and receipts, drawings and plans. Organized chaos was what he liked to call it. Very carefully, so as not to disturb anything important, she pushed it all slightly to the side to make just enough room for her computer. A large sheath of paper lay to one side, its edges partially curled. Curiosity got the better of her. Unrolling it, Bella expected to see plans for new furniture design. What she found instead stole her breath away.
Plans. An expansion for a house. This house. Extra rooms, all with a specific designation. Each one neatly marked with miniscule script. Her eyes roamed the page, landing on one in particular. In its perfectly square box amid carefully calculated wall measurements read the words: Office - Bells.
"So much for my big surprise." She turned to find Jacob leaning against the doorway, clad in a pair of hastily pulled on jeans, the button undone and hanging low across his hips. "Do you like it?" he asked.
"I don't know what to say," she whispered, turning her eyes back to the blueprints.
Jacob's warm heat pressed against her body when he came behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "These two," he pointed out, "are just a couple of spare rooms. I thought maybe if we ever have visitors we should have a place for them. Maybe someday..." he ventured, "I thought they could be kids rooms."
His fingers moved across the page, to the end of the L-shaped design that jutted outward from the back of the house. "This one here, is your office. I put it on the corner because it would be quiet. My office will be next to it... well, mine will be more of a den really. A space for me to hang out with the guys until I get the basement finished," he explained. "Yours though, I thought you'd like windows. They wrap around the front and sides." She could feel the the small smile on his face just as surely as she could hear the wistful sound of hidden dreams in his voice. "You'll be able to work with the sunlight shining in, or watch the snow come down, see the deer when they cross into the yard. Maybe we can plant some fruit trees. You'd get to see them flower in the springtime and get inspired. Work on that novel you play with when you think nobody is looking."
It was a gesture that took her breath away. "Jacob, when did you do this?"
In that second, he held her a little tighter, praying to hold on with everything he had. "I started the first night you called this home. It was more of an idea then. A dream, maybe. A few days later I started drawing and I couldn't stop. I started thinking about what'd you'd like, what we could have here together if you want it, if you'll let me give it to you."
She turned in his arms, searching his eyes for something... an answer, a certainty, doubt or recognition of sorts. "How do you know, Jake? How are you always so sure?"
"Because, Bella. When I close my eyes, you're all I see. Only you." He clasped her hand to his heart, willing her to feel the weight of the words, the meaning behind them. "Everything I am, everything that is good and pure inside me is because of you. You show me every single day what it is to love. You've never let me lose myself in the madness of this life. Because you and I, we belong together. We always have. You're every single dream I've ever had and the only one I'll ever want."
Eyes squeezed closed, Bella breathed deeply, feeling the words bubble up from that hidden place deep in her soul that only Jacob could see. When she opened them, there was a certainty that shone about her face, mingling with the small tears of joy that welled as shimmering drops of ocean pearl. "I love you. I should have told you before, weeks ago, months ago. I should have said it that first day you showed up in my father's kitchen looking like a madman. I should have told you a hundred times. But I swear, from now on, I'll tell you every single day. I will love you forever, if you'll let me."
"Bella." The name slipped past his lips like a whispered prayer. He could feel her, each and every single part, in that one small moment of time. When his hand cradled her cheek reverently, slowly dipping his head to kiss the lips that spoke the only words he had longed to hear, it felt as though they were fully alive. It was as if finally waking from a long slumber to find that the beautiful dream they were so desperate to hang on to was real. They were real, this life, all it held and the promise of a tomorrow and the day after that. A new world had opened, closing the door to the past firmly behind them.
The kiss between them grew as a ball of light, larger and brighter threatening to consume them both. Jacob's hands roamed the breadth of her body, standing between her parted legs. His hand felt the soft nakedness of her thigh, pulling it upward and then lifting her with one swift movement so that she sat atop of the desk, crushing the forgotten blueprints in their pursuit of happiness.
Jacob's eyes never left hers when he deftly undid the top few buttons of the shirt, just enough so that the soft fabric would fall backward, exposing her line of her shoulders and the graceful curve of her neck. His breath was warm blowing across her skin, the tenderness of his lips tracing a wake of burning fire across her soul, marking her indelibly as his from this moment forward.
There was nothing between them, not even the paper fine space of air that floated between their bodies when Jacob watched her head tip backward in desire and delight. The length of her hair- soft curls he longed to see spread against a pillow of white- fell like satin over the roughened hands pressed against her arching back. The stain of passion had reddened her parted lips, coloring her cheeks with the gentleness of pink over the purity of snow.
"Bella," he breathed, "look at me." Lashes, lovely, dark and thick, fluttered as butterfly wings, slowly opening and closing to reveal the rich, velvet tapestry that lay within. "I love you," he stated. "I have always loved you. Only you."
Beneath the power of the warrior lay the heart of a man, one whose certainty and strength of will would carry them through the rest of their lives. The confines of her own heart open to all he offered, ready to give in return. Taking him by the hand, she slipped off of the desk with ease, leading him back through the quiet rooms of the house. Smiling when they reached the stairs, she turned to face him in the moonlight. The strong line of his jaw, the raven wing of his hair deepened in the shadows. The beautiful sheen of his skin glowed like flowing silk in the moonlight.
The back of his hand, the smooth touch of his fingers glided tenderly over her face. He kissed her softly, gently, whispering promises of the heart through a silent caress of boundless love. In his arms alone could she find the future she'd long ago given up as nothing but a girlish dream.
It began that night, when carried her up the stairs.
Jacob's hands wove through her hair, past the curve of her neck to skim lightly over her shoulders. The shirt which covered her body fluttered to the floor in a soft pool of fabric. There was a hunger between them, a desire to fully become one with each other for the first time. A need, an affirmation of all that had passed between them. It was a beginning. A time to start their lives anew by sharing the smallest fragments of themselves which had been held back.
The warmth of his hands as they ran down her arms left behind a trail of fire, then again as he raised them above her. Grasping the hem of the thin, cotton top she wore, removing it from her body he thought that she had never been so beautiful. In his mind, he could recall every moment, each second of intimacy they'd ever shared. But to see her now, the rose colored tips of her breasts, the flow of chestnut hair against the creaminess of her skin, he knew that this was the memory he'd keep forever.
Her hands, so small compared to his own, flitted over the expanse of his chest, palms feeling each rise and fall of breath and the rhythmic beat of his heart. Her fingertips traced the contours of his body, committing to memory the exquisite feel of his skin, down to the tiniest imperfection.
When she glanced up at him, the bloom of love painted so freely on her face, Jacob brushed her lips with his own, caressing them with a gentleness no man had ever possessed. In the slowest and sweetest torture, the teeth of his zipper opened one by one. The satin of her cheek moved slowly down his chest, while her hands held the waist of his jeans, pushing the rough fabric down his legs, pausing only to kiss the childhood scar covering his knee.
Holding close to his heart the long cherished dreams of laughter and happiness, Jacob gathered her in his arms, with the certain, crystalline knowledge that all he'd ever wanted was securely in his grasp. He could not help but look at her after laying her down atop the bed. There was a glow about her this night, an inner beauty that radiated through each gesture, a confidence that became the woman who had sprung from the girl he once knew.
Determined to love her the best way he knew how, the way in which she deserved, he began to worship at the tips of her toes, grasping her ankle and kissing his way past it, skimming the soft, delicate skin of her thigh with the brush of his cheek and the warmth of his lips. Bella moaned in a flood of desire when he kissed her folds through the thin, blue cotton of her panties. The ache that grew inside of her pulsated, begging to burst forth as he pulled them away, exposing her fully to his hungry, wanting eyes.
Jacob crawled the length of her body, whispering words of love against her skin. Traversing the sloping curve of her stomach, marveling at the subtle rise and fall with each breath, he then kissed the tender valley of her breasts, lavishing each one with the affection of his mouth.
There was no pretense, the desire to connect too strong between them for anything else. He lowered himself over her, looked into her eyes to find reflected back at him the full measure of adoration which filled his own soul. It gave him courage, the strength to say all that lay in his heart. "Say you'll stay here with me. That we'll build a life in this house, you and me, together."
"I'll never leave," she whispered. The tenor of her voice trembled, thick with emotion, but there was sureness in her tone, making him believe.
The outside world was dark and still, the small crickets of the forest serenading them with nature's sweet lullaby. Diamonds hung beneath a cloudless sky, their fire lit by the golden glow of a harvest moon. Dark and light collided together in the wake of its glory. Sable and milk white satin moved fluidly as one when they came together as lovers and friends.
After, while they laid curled sleepily in each other's arms, Bella looked steadily into his eyes. A memory, one small but significant with deeper meaning had passed through her mind earlier when she kissed the raised scar on his knee. Once, a lifetime ago, he had asked what she could remember from their childhood. Now she understood.
"When I was ten and you were eight, we ran down the driveway of your house holding hands. I stumbled and fell, pulling you down with me. You skinned your knee on the gravel. I remember how your jeans were torn and the way you cried without a sound. You looked at me, laying there, holding my hurt elbow. You were a bloody mess, but you helped me up, took me inside and put a band-aid over it. We ate ice cream that afternoon and you gave me your favorite shell from the beach to make me feel better."
Jacob's heart swelled, recalling a bright summer's day, the yellow cotton dress she wore and the red ribbons tied in her hair. "Even then, I knew I loved you."
Looking into his eyes, she smiled ever so softly and spoke. "I think I loved you more."
That night while Bella rested against the beat of his heart, Jacob was sure that nobody else ever had such small, loving hands.
There you have it. Something sweet and fluffy. The calm before the storm. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Thank you all for the reviews, even if I haven't been answering lately. Life has been... hectic. I read them and they make me smile. Thank you for the kindness.