Tragedy (Austin Cello Version) by Brandi Carlile. This was a sad one. Enjoy, guys.

Portland was rainy, not unlike the last time May had been there. It was a visit she wished she could forget. Just being back within the city limits made her feel claustrophobic and sick to her stomach.

Skye had been on a phone that May had picked up for them the day before, trying to access the public records to look up Audrey's address in the city. So far, they were coming up empty though.

"I don't understand," Skye finally said, tossing the phone down on the seat and sighing. "It shouldn't be this difficult."

"Unless her name has changed," Ward optioned. "Then…who knows how many Audrey's we'll have to go through until we get the right one."

"Check the Oregon Orchestra's records," May said, her tone even. "It's our last option."

Skye picked up the phone and started pressing buttons again.

"Hey," Ward said just above a whisper. "How are you holding up?"

The question caught her off guard. She should have been used to it. Ward was always checking on her to see how she was, even when he should have known she could carry herself just fine. But this time, it got to her. The first thing she saw was the look on Phil's face when she'd pulled out of their kiss all those years ago. She tensed, her hands clutching the wheel tighter. "I just want to find Coulson. Get this whole mess sorted out with S.H.I.E.L.D."

"You realize we might not get things sorted out, not if they're up to what you say they are."

He was right. The likelihood was that once they got Coulson, they'd be on the run from S.H.I.E.L.D. and Rickard's men until they could find a place to disappear underground. She had to anticipate that in addition to what was likely to happen if Audrey suddenly became collateral damage. Once she found out about Coulson, she'd have to come with them, whether she wanted to or not. Maybe it was better if she didn't know. Maybe it was better if—

"May?" Skye said suddenly from the back, as she scrambled to sit up in her seat. "I think I've got her. Audrey Sorg, a cellist with the OO. Looks like she's got a show tonight. Starts in a couple hours."

May nodded. "Good. Get us tickets."

Skye pressed more buttons. "Now what about…"

"What?"

"Well, I know you like the leather jacket as much as anyone, but it's not exactly symphony orchestra viewing attire," Skye hinted.

"She has a point," Ward accepted. "We look like we just walked off the set for a GI Joe photo shoot. We'd do well to show up tonight and be as inconspicuous as possible."

"Do you want to play dress up or do you want to help Coulson?" May said hardly, staring at him.

Ward put up his hands. "Easy! We want to help Coulson just as much as you do. But we can't do that if S.H.I.E.L.D. recognizes us. What if they knew about the cellist and have already sent people ahead? We need to approach this cautiously."

May deflated a little. He was right. She glanced in her rearview mirror and saw Skye eying her sadly.

"Fine," she allowed.

The hacker was back on her phone within moments searching for the nearest clothing store. May tried to ignore Ward's worried expression and settled her eyes on the road ahead, her shoulders as stiff as boards.

Within the hour, they'd found a small tasteful formal attire store and had separated to their respective departments. While Ward quickly selected a black tux, and Skye tried to choose between a deep purple or magenta dress, May locked herself in her own dressing room with a simple black dress and reminisced on the last time she'd found herself in Portland.

She hadn't worn a dress then, though Fury had suggested it. It wasn't her style. And wearing it only made the horror of what had happened to Coulson stick to her more. She felt more vulnerable with less on. At least with a jacket she could cover up. The world could see less of her, they could be fooled that she was less sad than she actually was.

Fury had given her the home address for Audrey knowing that May could probably catch her at home in the evening. May had gone during the day, and had shown up at the concert hall where Audrey was practicing for a performance later that week. She figured it would be better if she was surrounded by friends and not alone. Most people would have lost it if they'd been alone.

She'd stood in the back of the auditorium listening to her practice uninterrupted, watched the small smile curl on her face as she closed her eyes and lost herself in the melody. She knew she was thinking about him. Even if they had been taking a break, she could see that little bit of Coulson with Audrey. The only part of him that was left.

Telling her was like ripping open a freshly scabbed over cut. It however much she wanted to pretend that what had happened had just been a dream, now, it couldn't be. This was where the pain was fresh and raw.

"Phil Coulson was killed in action in flight over the Atlantic Ocean Friday afternoon." The words had barely left her mouth before she watched the horror claim Audrey's eyes. It didn't all sink in at once like May had hoped though. She'd tried to make it as quick and painless as possible, ripping the bandage off. It hadn't happened though.

For a very long time, the cellist could barely get a sentence out. Just the start of one. And it always started with "You." An accusation. Whether it be that she must have been lying or that it was her fault…May knew that no matter what eventually came out of the cellist's mouth, it would be something pinpointed at her and the agency Coulson had so loved.

Instead, with a whimper, Audrey had set down the cello and the bow on the floor of the concert hall. She set them down so gently and carefully that May had thought that perhaps Audrey hadn't heard her right. But once the instrument was down, the cellist sat herself down on her knees, and slowly collapsed inward, her sobs gradually echoing through the hall.

May hadn't been brave enough to stay. Inside, her small little paper boat was beginning to soak through and drown. She'd quickly found another member of the orchestra and directed them Audrey's way before she left details about the funeral and quietly slipped out. There was no need to make it any more painful and no need to risk sinking her boat again.

Knocking on her dressing room door startled her from her thoughts.

"May, did you find something? We're going to be late," Skye said.

May stared down at the black dress in the mirror and combed her hair back from her face and said. "Yeah, I'm ready," even though she wasn't.

The same concert hall. It was almost fortuitous that Phil should bring her back here. She wondered briefly about being here, seeing him. He had left before they had and there was every possibility that he would be there that night, watching her play. But after arriving and taking their seats, she'd scanned the entire crowd, scrutinizing every face and every body. Coulson wasn't there. Or if he was, he wasn't showing himself. Which is the smart thing to do, she thought.

The lights plunged and the curtain slid open noiselessly to reveal an empty seat on the stage. From the left, May watched Audrey appear. Her wavy brown hair bounced at her shoulders. She looked happy. Her cheeks had good color, her eyes were bright and alive. And her bright blue dress seemed to make the melancholy memories of May's last visit recede a little. But there was a pause before Audrey opened her case and produced her beloved cello. It was enough for May to see that there were still traces of Phil that haunted her.

It was a gorgeous concert. It was almost the same Audrey in love that May remembered hearing before she'd had to deliver that horrible news. And the history of that moment had rippled into the present. It was heard in every stroke that the cellist made, every tinge of her face as the song flowed out and on to the waiting ears of the audience. At one point, Ward even tried to touch her hand. She'd slipped hers away and tried her hardest not to bolt from her seat.

The audience clapped. Audrey stood. The lights went up. And as she waved and glanced over the audience, her eyes eventually found May's. And she froze. Everything about that day was suddenly brand new again. The communication through that stare was all May needed to see that things had irreversibly changed for Audrey again. And it confirmed something terrible to May. Coulson hadn't made it here yet.

If he had even meant to come here at all, she considered. If not here, then…where was he?

Chapter 18 probably won't show up until Saturday evening or Sunday morning. It all depends on if I can get my blog stuff done sooner rather than later! Until then, stay tuned...