he fumes around the house after the babysitter has gone. Anger and self hatred coursing through her. The old high school lies slip back into her mind. Not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough. Not strong enough. She let someone see again. Letting other people see always results in pain and heartbreak, she's learned. Even from an early age, she'd discovered you don't have to be 'in love' with someone to get your heart broken; you can simply be best friends. She leans against the wall and closes her eyes as the memories flood over her. Anger, betrayal, sadness so deep she thought she'd never find her way out. But she did. Only to repeat the vicious cycle over a decade later with Taye. She'd finally let someone into her heart again, only to have it shattered into a million pieces like before. She swore she'd never make the same mistake again. 'I can, and will, do this alone,' she tells herself. 'I'm strong enough to do this.' She instinctively tugs at her sleeves. Though the physical scars have long since vanished, the mental and emotional scars might never fade. Never her wrists, always the upper arm. No one would ever suspect there, she had reasoned. It's easier to make up a story for there, and no one would ever have to know. She'd be strong and alone. Independent and self sufficient. Yes, she is those things. She doesn't need anyone. Except her little boy. But he's part of her, her own flesh and blood. He's safe. She sets the alarm and crawls into bed. Lying in her cocoon of blankets, she forces her mind places besides the painful spiral down memory lane. She'd like to get at least some sleep before two shows tomorrow. She thinks of If/Then. She's never played a character so like herself. She thinks also of her opposite lead, and of his odd attentiveness recently. Why does he seem to care so much? Why would anyone care? She doesn't need anyone. James included. She vows not to give in to him. Sure, the idea of confiding in someone, like he obviously seems to want her to, is a tempting one, but she's learned it's not worth it. And the greater the temptation, the worse the outcome if you're weak enough to give in.