A/N: An update, at long last! Carpal tunnel and real life have been kicking my butt, so apologies!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto universe or anything in it. I'm also still poor, so I'm definitely not being paid for this work.
Sasuke Uchiha disliked many things. At the top of his list, next to "Naruto leaving", was "people in my home uninvited." He sent a glare toward the trio of Sabaku siblings that had invaded his house and almost managed to ignore the "eep" of fear that escaped from Shikamaru's lips and the sound of the Nara male's body hitting the floor and slithering under the couch to hide.
"I do not recall inciting you this shindig of ours," Sasuke began. The rounding of Naruto's mouth and muttered, "oops!" cut off his protest. "You idiot, you didn't. You did? You did. Damn it."
"Uh…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head anxiously. "See, I kind of sent out this mass text to everyone in the group, and I..sort of...forgot? That they were on the list?"
"Are you saying that we're unwanted, Naruto?" Temari, the oldest Sabaku, loomed in the doorway. Her eyes flicked across the gathered group of friends. "I know he's here, Yamanaka. You can't hide him from me forever."
Ino sniffed and pushed the rest of her boyfriend's leg under the couch. "You broke up with him. You have no claim to him."
Neji took in the scene with a cocked eyebrow. "Do I even wish to know what transpired in my absence?" he breathed into Lee's ear. "This level of drama is ridiculous for adults."
"Are you going to ignore me, Hyuuga?" Gaara demanded appearing at Neji's elbow. "Unhand Lee."
"Gaara," Lee started, but was silenced by Neji, who pushed the green clad male behind him.
"You will not speak to him," Neji threatened.
"ENOUGH!" Lee yelled unhappily. The room fell silent in shock and surprise. He grabbed Neji's hand, the sleeve of Gaara's tan jacket, and hauled them both out of the room. The rest of the group of friends paused politely for thirty seconds, then crept to the doorway and strained to listen in on the action.
Lee didn't stop walking until the three of them were back in the entry foyer, shivering slightly from the proximity to the front door.
"Gaara, my friend! When I was in need of comfort, you lent me your youthful spirit, and I offer my thanks to you for it. But," he said, releasing his hold on the male's sleeve, "we are no more than friends through an agreement forged in a battle of sweat of blood."
"What?" Neji sputtered, his brow creasing in confusion.
"He dumped me," Gaara muttered. "I chased him, we fought, he won. Story time is over," he growled.
"And Neji, lover of my youth," Lee continued without missing a beat, "you vanished, and caused me pain, but you have returned! Things have changed," he admitted, "but perhaps our spring has returned to us, as well?"
Neji raised their clasped hands and placed a kiss on Lee's fingers. "I will not abandon you. I swear."
"You already did," Gaara pointed out, "and I picked up the pieces of your screw up. You have no idea─"
"Not this again!" Neji snapped. He pulled away from Lee and, placing his fists at his sides, faced the smaller, red haired man. "You all keep going on and on about what I don't know! So tell me! What is it that I don't know?"
"Neji," Lee spoke quietly. "This is not the time for such an unyouth─"
"Screw that!" Neji whipped his head toward his sort-of lover; his lengthy locks narrowly missed striking Gaara's face. "Someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on!"
"Lee almost died," Gaara snarled. "He almost died, and it's all your fault."
Gaara Sabaku settled underneath the huge oak tree with the book he had been hoping to read all week. Finally, his exams were over, and he was free to indulge in his second favorite pastime. He had deliberately chosen that spot for two reasons: one, it was far enough away from his school that no one would bother him, and two, there was a Konoha University track meet that day, and the tree that shaded him was right across from and at the bottom of the path the long distance runners would take. Gaara, though not looking for anything or anyone special, was not adverse to seeing toned calves and thighs jog past him.
He had just turned the page when the first runners rounded the bend, the sound of their special sneakers hitting the dirt path in a relaxing fashion. Gaara glanced up with interest, and noticed one runner that appeared to be dazed. With a frown, Gaara watched the runner stagger to a tree, and press his face against it. His shoulders shook, with fatigue or something else, Gaara was unsure which, and he did not seem to be entirely steady on his feet. With growing confusion and horror. Gaara watched the young man walk to the edge of the path, step over the low, wooden fence, and step onto nothing but air.
Gaara cried out. Tossing his book aside, he reached the runner just as he landed on the aesthetically pleasing rock garden on the ground. His legs were twisted at an unnatural angle, and a pool of red slowly grew underneath his back.
"Hey," Gaara called, beginning to panic. "Hey! Stay awake. I'm calling for help, okay? What's your name?"
"Neji," the male whispered.
"Your name is Neji?" Gaara asked as he fumbled for the phone in his pocket.
"Neji...left me." Tears pooled in the male's eyes. "He's...marrying...left no word." His eyes fluttered closed.
"Hey!" Gaara dropped his phone, and placed both hands on the male's face. "Stay with me."
"Love...Neji. Neji...hates me."
Later, after loading the male in an ambulance and contacting Konoha's track coach that one of his runners had met with an accident, Gaara took to the internet in a search for the mysterious Neji the man had mentioned.
"HYUUGA HEIR TO WED DUCHESS OF WAVE."
Naruto winced and shoved everybody back into the room. "Let's pretend we didn't hear that," he proposed as the sound of Neji's sobs and wails of denial reached them. "Let's just...eat." The group of friends looked toward the food laden tables and swallowed audibly. No one, in that moment, had an appetite at all.
Sakura turned to Sai with undisguised glee. "Poor Lee!" she cried. "That damn Hyuuga is no match for him. I should comfort him," she mused, switching her goal in the space of a breath. "He is a successful physical therapist, and since I am studying to be a physician's assistant, we could run the clinic together!" She clapped her hands together. "Okay! this is Operation: Get Neji Out of Lee's Life!" She batted her eyes at her housemate. "Sai, you're going to help me, right?"
"No."
She blinked. "I'm sorry?"
"I said no, Ugly. I will not help you destroy their bond. They've only just found each other again, and every book I've read says that this moment is pivotal in their relationship, and you will not ruin it."
"Sai?" Sakura stepped back, confusion and fear warring on her face and in her gut.
"Sakura," he said, saying her name for the first time since the night-that-should-not-be-spoken-of. "Don't do this. Please."
"Wha─Sai?" She blinked again, and felt close to fainting when the pale man slowly lifted a hand to her face. With his thumb, he traced her bottom lip, which trembled at his touch.
He smirked. "Besides, unless you have a penis I don't know about, neither of them would like you anyway." He dropped his hand and the woman jerked back as if he'd slapped her. Sai shoved his hands in his pockets, ignoring the sensation of her lips and cheek that lingered on his tingling fingers.