Some time later…
Mainline
World after world and it started to seem like the same story. They burst into the scene, separated or not, it didn't matter because they quickly found each other then the monsters and exterminated them. And then back to the mainline to do it again. The problem was that the monsters weren't diverse, they continually ran into the aer creatures, one at a time. Dean was finding that after the sixth or seventh aer in a row he was starting to memorize that incantation that Castiel had recited earlier on. In fact Sam had learned the chant before he did and as it turned out regular people were just as useful when chanting spells.
Dean was starting to feel like it was all so monotonous, like this adventure was nothing more than a day job. Maybe it was the enemies that continually cropped up or maybe it was the 'go go go' mentality that Castiel used to approach it. Dean remembered that Cas had spent a few days at their house, several in town perched on the statue, why had he spent so much time? And though Dean wanted to know the answer he couldn't quite bring himself to ask it directly. It felt like a more private conversation, not appropriate to bring up around Sam and Jet. But that didn't stop him from trying to approach the topic.
"Is this really what you've been doing for ages?" Dean asked absently as they trekked the mainline once again, looking for something of more importance. Castiel seemed more and more on edge as they went through the last few worlds, an aer each and every time. The worlds reset once they'd gone, each time Castiel and Dean had met themselves, or some version of them. Dean hadn't missed the pattern they'd come across, each Dean and Castiel they'd met was close, really close. Either they were together or hadn't tried yet but it was clear that that's where they were heading. It was another thing he wanted to ask about but again he couldn't find a way to ask.
Cas glanced over to his partner for a moment before answering in a mutter "More or less, except things had never been so… ridiculous." His teeth started to grind together as he let the thought fester.
"Ridiculous how?" Sam leaned around his other side to see his face, taking note of how tired Castiel's eyes looked. Cas always seemed tired but now he just looked worn out.
"I mean all of the aer that we've come across, it's getting ridiculous." He threw his hands into the air in frustration, letting them drop and dangle at his sides as if useless to him. "I've never seen them do this before, it's like the large group they would normally travel in split up to cover more ground or something. It's just strange, they have a hive-mind with their group so how in the world does it work for them to go to separate places?" Cas rambled mostly to himself, stopping to stare down into the void below them. His face twisted as he thought further, eyes narrowing the longer the stared, "And what's more, these are all worlds I couldn't get to before, I don't understand the connection."
"Yeah, I still don't think I get that one part." Jet piped in, knowing he'd probably irritate the man further but had no qualms with it. "What are you talking about when you say you couldn't get to those worlds before? They were blocked off or something?"
"Essentially, yes." Cas glanced Jet's way briefly before looking back to the main road and the little fires that lit up the world entrances, "The colours of these fires are important, I believe we've covered this when we first got here."
"Yeah yeah, I get that; one colour means the place is active and needs saving, another colour means the world is accessible but nothing's going on, and another colour means the place is shut down completely. Whatever. What I don't get is why certain ones wouldn't let you in."
"I needed my partner, there's a certain point where a high priest can go no further alone. It isn't up to the priest, either, it's more of a destiny thing."
Jet made a face and sputtered a scoff at that, "Wow, really?"
"You're travelling between dimensions and realities, Jet, are you really taking the disbelieving path now?" Cas responded without looking back this time, his patience having already run too thin.
Jet lifted his hands in surrender, "Sorry, stepping on toes I guess."
Dean smirked but said nothing more until he spotted a world off the path, far below them with a fire lit up, blazing in the shadows of the void. "Cas, hold up, what's that one doing down there?"
"That world is lost to us right now," Castiel's tone had grown exasperated with all of the questions, he was starting to get really tired of being the exposé. "As you can see we can't reach it without falling into the void so leave it be."
"But-"
"I said leave it!" Cas snapped suddenly, his voice echoing and overpowering in the otherwise silent realm. He'd gone from annoyed to downright pissed like a switch had been flipped. It was a good indication to leave the subject alone, but when was a Winchester ever not stubborn?
Dean frowned and looked back down to it, looking for some kind of way to get down there. If they wanted something worth their while then pursuing the impossible should be their first step, shouldn't it? Castiel's approach was all wrong, Dean hadn't known enough before to really think so but he was starting to figure more and more out. And the longer he considered the way they were going about things the more he wanted to change it. "How long have you been doing this Cas?"
The other priest slowed his pace, already not liking where Dean's tone had gone but saw no real reason not to answer. "A few centuries, why?"
"How much headway have you made? If this is what things are like now then how bad were they?"
Castiel stopped and turned to stand in front of Dean, each could feel the brush of the other's clothing and knew how close they were standing. For a long moment they stared at one another, neither spoke as they held eye contact until Castiel finally growled out the words he'd been choking on, "You're suggesting the way I've been doing it isn't working, I take it?"
"I'm just thinking that you have a partner now for a reason, I think we should find a new way to handle things." Dean replied just as forcefully as Cas had, refusing to back down. "Just because you've been at this longer doesn't make you the end-all-be-all, you make mistakes too."
"Far fewer than yourself, at least I know how to stay alive in this mess-"
"When you're alone, but you've got three other people with you now! The same tactics don't apply!"
"Guys," Sam interjected and pushed the two apart, leaving his hands up to keep them that way. "Chill out, alright? We're still figuring this thing out, we don't know what works for the team just yet and that's okay. At least we're learning with the weak ones, right?"
Castiel exhaled heavily through his nose before he backed down and turned to continue along the mainline. He and Dean did nothing but fight lately, if they'd ever not fought, that is. The last time they'd had a meaningful moment was when he'd nearly killed himself in the post apocalyptic world. Of course, not that he wanted one in the first place. He continued to tell himself it didn't matter whether they had anything special between them or not, what mattered was getting the work done.
But the more he told himself that the more often they came across the stupidest worlds and missions he'd ever seen. Passing from one realm to the next seemed to be like going to the same one over and over again. There was a pattern he was missing, a puzzle that needed solving and he couldn't figure out what it was.
"Let's just pick a place that looks a bit different and hope for the best, how's that sound?" Sam suggested earnestly trying to help, he didn't like to see the two of them fight like that.
"Fine," Dean spat, "But I don't want him picking this time."
Sam could have slapped him but Castiel didn't respond the way he'd expected. Instead of fuming and exploding, Cas paused and lowered his head for a moment before nodding silently. "Then I think Sam should choose."
"Really?" Sam's face lit up as if he'd been waiting for this. "You mean it?"
"Yes," Cas smiled at him genuinely, a look that almost distracted Sam from how old Cas sounded. "Please, just point one out and we'll go."
Sam knew stress when he saw it but there was nothing to be helped by bringing it up. Instead he nodded eagerly and hurried ahead to look at the different options, there were so many and while he wanted to go to the one Dean had mentioned he knew better.
As they followed Sam, Dean was watching Castiel's back but his anger and frustration was slowly drifting away, something more curious replacing it. Cas was normally pretty good with answering questions, something Dean figured came with the job, but not this time. This time he snapped, lost his patience and kept a tight lip. Was it personal or had something changed? And that wasn't the only thing, Dean remembered having dreams of Castiel when he'd seen him perched on that statue for days but they had never come up again. One in particular put him on edge, the night he'd met Castiel, when the demoni first attacked. "Cas," He started a little less confrontationally this time, "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Castiel looked at him with a bit of uneasiness but nodded all the same, "We'll catch up with you," he told Sam when the younger man had turned to them.
"Right, I'll have one picked out by then."
"You better." Jet smirked and ruffled Sam's hair as he passed him by.
Cas turned to Dean once the others were out of earshot. "What is it?"
"I… is it possible to know something about someone else before you've met them?" Dean watched Castiel's eyes narrow a little at the question, only able to wish he knew what was going on in that head.
"As in… something more personal than just what they look like?"
"Yes," The exasperation in his voice wasn't intentional though he couldn't help but wonder if Cas was just being a smartass. "Like their past, or something?"
"Why? Did you see something?" Castiel shifted his body to angle away from Dean, trying to keep their exchange more impersonal.
"Yeah…"
"…Of?"
The long pause after his question answered it for him, Castiel reeled on Dean and forced him forward, hand wrapped in the front of his shirt and yanking him closer. "What did you see?" He hissed in a whisper, eyes narrowing further.
"Nothing! I don't know!" Dean answered quickly, leaning back to try and show he wasn't looking for a fight, "I don't know if it was you specifically, but it was a Castiel."
"It had to have been me, you don't have a connection with anyone else." Cas grumbled but let go all the same. "What did you see?" This time the question was uttered with less aggression, Castiel stepping back again with a minor look of apology.
"I only saw you, but I was… I couldn't move my own body, I couldn't stop it."
"What were you doing?"
"I was strangling you." Dean's face cracked from the strong-man persona and let the distress show, "I… I couldn't stop it and I just saw your face draining and-"
"Dean," Castiel hushed him with a word and a light brush of skin as his hand grazed Dean's cheek, "It's alright, do I look dead to you?"
"Sometimes," Dean answered quietly, wondering where this sudden 'showing of emotion' thing came from. A rush of feelings and pain hit his chest like it had the first time and he felt choked up. Last time he had to go for a drive and that's how they had met, he'd accidentally stumbled on the remains of Castiel's battleground and the priest along with the mess. It was so weird to know just a while later here he was, with that same man.
Castiel was quiet for a moment but didn't run away or brush anything off like Dean was being an over sensitive baby. He honestly looked to be contemplating the best way to approach the topic, like he really did want to help. "When did you have this dream?"
"The night we met, right before."
"Ah, well that makes a lot more sense." Cas smirked a little though it was far from secure, "Sometimes the celestials will speak to us directly, and sometimes they'll influence our dreams or our situations entirely just to make something happen. It's part of their plan; there's no real way you could have had that dream on your own."
Dean laughed awkwardly and nodded, "Those bastards, literally giving me nightmares."
Cas chuckled and nodded, "Yes, well they're capable of more than just that."
As Dean was about to nod and agree the reality of Castiel's words struck him, "Wait, so that actually happened to you? Who tried to kill you?"
"My husband." Cas hesitated to respond but he still did, glancing away and trying to find something, anything else to look at.
Dean remembered having that conversation back before the demoni had woken in Sam, when he and Castiel had gone to get groceries together.
"What's your last name?"
"Winchester."
His eyes widened slowly as Castiel started to turn away, catching up to Sam and Jet. Dean's mouth felt dry as his brain started to connect the dots he'd had for far too long.
"So wait, you kind of know us, right? Was there another version of Sam and me in your world? Is this why you're nice to Sam all the time and not me? Were you and Sam, you know… married or something?"
Dean's hand slowly lifted to touch the spot that Castiel's had brushed over.
"Wait, Winchester? Really? Does that mean we're related?"
"In a way, I suppose… No."
He'd changed his mind so fast back then. And the conversation before that had covered how Castiel had been treating him unfairly, that if they were going to act like they were related then he'd have to continue the ill treatment. At that point Dean couldn't figure out why Cas was so awful to him and not Sam. It was assumed that if Castiel was married to one of the Winchesters then he'd be loving toward them.
'But Cas' husband tried to kill him. He wouldn't treat them well after something like that.' Dean thought as he stared into the distance, though his eyes hadn't seen anything besides the memories playing across his mind. "It was me…" he whispered distantly. "He was married to a-"
"Dean!" Sam's voice shattered his concentration, "Come on, I found one, let's go!"
Dean shook his head and looked up again, staring at Castiel who stood next to Sam, the other priest returning his gaze the way he'd always done. Was there something he should say? Something he should do? He had no idea.
"Dean!"
"Coming!" He called and hurried to catch up, he'd deal with it later.
Author's Note:
My little way of saying 'sorry for the expose' I guess hahaha. I noticed Cas does a lot of it XD
Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think so far. I'd like a critique or feedback or even a suggestion of what you'd like to see! Please and thank you of course ;)