Author's Note:

Three cheers for lots of dialogue! Oh my lord is anyone else having difficulties figuring out which Dean/Cas/Sam/Jet is talking? I try to make it obvious but sometimes it gets so repetitive XP

Also no one who has read Ugly Duckling made a comment on Wilson the plate! XD

Fragments of Memories

It was quiet, the park was empty and all Cas could do was chew on the inside of his cheek in thought. He'd been meaning to say something, anything that might ease the pain. Losing Sam had been hard on both of them and if it hadn't been for Cas' presence, he knew Dean wouldn't be there anymore either. But what could he say about it? What could he tell Dean that would make it hurt less? Only a few things came to mind. "I love you." He sighed into the wind and let it take his words wherever they wanted. It didn't even matter if Dean heard it, not really. But he had all the same.

"I love you too." Dean reached over and took his hand, giving him a bit of a start. They'd barely spoken much in the last few weeks; all of their interactions had been quiet and short since Sam had passed. It was nice to hear Dean's voice again. "I'll always love you, Cas. I… I need to thank you."

"For what?" Cas smiled sweetly and looked up and could swear he saw a desperate wave of emotions crashing behind Dean's eyes.

"For keeping me alive."

Ugly Duckling World: Part 3

"Are we really still arguing about this?" Cas growled, refusing to back down this time. "Dean, he's not evil and he's not going to kill us. If he had wanted me dead I would be, okay?"

"I'm not letting us get involved in this crazy shit, alright? I'm already uncomfortable enough being so close to a huge city-"

"Oh this is about me doing the Hollywood thing? If you have such a problem with it just tell me!"

"That's not it, Cas. I said I'm uncomfortable with a big city, not with your career." Dean tried to back it up a bit and get the track to where it was, not wanting to argue about this again.

"Then you're afraid of something big happening to us, I understand that but we can't just ignore this! We're not kicking him out and that's final." Cas squared his shoulders, his voice taking on that commanding tone that both Dean's shuddered at.

Dean opened his mouth to argue when his phone rang and interrupted. The lovers stared at one another until he yielded and answered, "Hello, Dean speaking."

"Hey Dean, it's Sam."

"Sammy! I'm glad to hear from you," He relaxed a bit and turned away toward the kitchen, fully trusting Jet in the room with the stranger and his husband. "How's college?"

"It's pretty good, finished my finals this morning. Anyway, something's up and I kinda need your help."

"What's going on?" The way his posture and tone changed so suddenly made the priest smile, caring for Sam was such a strong impulse and universal among all Dean's.

"These three people appeared in our dorm and said some crazy stuff. They wanted to know where you lived so I'm taking them there. We've kinda been travelling for an hour or so and it'll be another four before we get to your place. Just wanted to warn you ahead of time."

"Who are they? Are they forcing you to take them? Are you hurt?"

"No, Dean. I'm fine. Gabriel and I offered to take them-"

"Why would you do that Sam? You don't even know these people!" It seemed like Dean's only argument at that moment, and as legitimate as it sounded, neither his husband nor little brother took it as the right answer.

"Dean, it's okay. This is gonna sound weird, but I do know them."

"You know these…" Dean paused for a second and looked over at his other self perched on the couch next to his significant other. "Sam… are they duplicates?"

The silence on the other end dragged out for several moments before Sam replied, "Yeah… how'd you know?"

"I got one too, looks like me." Dean sighed and ran his hand down his face, "What do they say they do?"

"Dimension travel, save the world stuff."

"So it's not just this one… What the hell is going on?"

The other Dean lit up for a second then grew extremely pale, "My friends are with your brother? A Cas too?"

"Sam is there a Cas with you?"

"Yeah, and Jet and another me. It's really weird actually."

"Tell me about it. All right, drive safe and keep me posted. Don't you dare let me sit here for the next five hours waiting to see if you're still alive." He instructed and rolled his eyes as Cas was certain Sam did on the other end.

"Okay, Dean. I'll see you later."

And just like that the phone call was over. Dean looked over at the priest's wide eyes and drained face, a smirk coming over his own. "What's the matter?" He'd seen that face before, back in his graduating year of high school when Castiel had come home. The moment he'd seen Cas at that convenience store it had been stone, his heart leapt in his chest and after that all he could think of was Castiel. But he had been terrified, for the things he'd done, the things he hadn't, and the things he'd have to say next. "It's Cas, isn't it?" He asked with a smirk.

His counterpart nodded and looked away, "You can tell too, huh?"

"I'm telling you, it's Cas. That baby is dynamite, doesn't matter what dimension he's from."

Castiel blushed lightly and turned his head away, he couldn't stop the smile that had encroached on his lips. "Dean, you're a terrible flirt."

Dean went behind his husband and wrapped his arms around Cas' slender frame, kissing down his neck playfully. "I know," he breathed into Castiel's ear and felt every little goosebump that beaded up the other man's skin. "I'm sorry for arguing with you."

"You're just scared, I know." Cas gasped and turned his head to return the kisses. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Would you guys stop?" Dean fidgeted with his coat again, something about being able to stick his hand into an infinite space repeatedly felt soothing. "I feel like I'm going to lose my lunch over here."

"I hope that's not because we're together and more because you're worried about seeing your Cas." Castiel said playfully though there was an undertone, more of a threat lurking if Dean were upset with seeing homosexuality so open.

"Well… yeah, I mean when he gets here I don't know what I should say to him." Dean sighed and ran his hand down his face, "I don't think he knows I know about his past husband so should I start with that or should I not bring that up at all? Do I just say 'hey I like you'?"

"Do it when it feels right," The other Dean replied matter-of-factly, as if his counterpart were an idiot. "Don't just spring that stuff on him, it can be a little rattling and make situations awkward. Also get him alone, don't do it in front of other people unless he's a really public kind of guy."

"He isn't."

"Thought not."

"Well let's eat something while we wait," Cas strolled toward the kitchen, the sway in his hips a little more amplified because he knew there were at least two sets of eyes drawn to it. "Sandwiches sound okay?"

"As long as there's meat involved." Both Dean muttered in reply, glancing at each other with a bit of a laugh.

"Of course." Cas rolled his eyes and went straight to the bread bag.

It was a tight fit, to say the least. The group of five travelled in Sam and Gabriel's car without much of a problem other than the special issue. They'd done a bit of measuring for both Sam's, figuring out that the dimension travelling one was slightly smaller and therefore one of the ones crammed in the back, along with Castiel and Gabriel. Jet and the other Sam sat comfortably up front, trying not to gloat about it. Smallest people go in the back, that only made sense if there were three bodies that needed to be smushed into the same space.

Castiel and Gabriel were insistent on taking window seats and Sam wasn't about to argue, even though he would have preferred not to sit on the highest point in the backseat. Longer legs means more trouble fitting into little spaces, and wouldn't you know his legs weren't exactly considered short. Sam adjusted himself subtly every now and then as he glanced out the windows and over at the other passengers. There wasn't a lot of conversation happening and he wasn't entirely sure he should start any on a five-hour road trip.

His eyes drifted over to Gabriel after a few moments of boredom taking over. He'd never met a 'Gabriel' before but in this world his other self was in a relationship with one. He kind of wanted to know why, what made Gabriel dateable, what made him attractive to the other Sam? Part of him wanted to ask the questions but the socially aware part informed the rest of him that it just wouldn't look right. Plus the other Sam was present in the car, would be sort of awkward.

Of course, Gabriel didn't have the same social graces as Sam and, after fiddling in his seat with the same bored feeling, he turned and looked up at his not-boyfriend Sam with a smile. "So, do you know a different me?"

"Actually no, in the several worlds we've visited I've never met you before." Sam smiled back, still trying to figure it out without asking.

"I have." Castiel sighed heavily, his forehead resting against the glass of his window. He rolled his head to look at them and nearly made Sam laugh with the disapproving expression he wore. "Annoying is the only word I've got for him."

"What!?" Gabriel feigned offended for a few seconds, "What makes me annoying?"

"I didn't say you specifically but you have similar traits, so I suppose it's close enough." Cas looked back out the window at the landscape drifting by. "He was always in my face but that's not what bugged me. He was selfish, he didn't consider anyone other than himself when he made choices and the last time I saw him was before this all started."

Sam's face tightened a little as he realized Castiel had just let him hear a little something about his past. It was rare and Sam would take whatever he could get, eventually he'd put the puzzle together.

"Before what started?" Gabriel leaned over and was promptly pushed back by Sam.

"Before the dimension travel," Sam explained in Cas' place, knowing that much at least.

"What did I- er… he do?"

"He was in a relationship with a close friend of mine and went on a trip, alone. He knew that my friend was a little sick but he went anyway, it was a trip they would have gone on together had the illness not been so bad." Cas' face was turned away as he spoke but Sam didn't need to see it to know what kind of expression he was making. The low growl in his voice said enough without his facial features added to it. "He never came back, either. I thought maybe I'd have to explain to him how his boyfriend had passed away while he was gone but I never did. Gabriel never came back."

Jet glanced at the backseat and looked at Sam, each sharing the same tense look as they realized Castiel wasn't a fan of Gabriel.

"That doesn't sound like him," Sam, the driver, spoke up next. "I don't know what kind of reality you lived in, but from the little bit that I've seen, the doubles of people aren't all that different." He looked up into the rearview mirror to see himself, recognizing every little change in expression and knowing what it meant, knowing he'd probably make the same ones. "Sam and I are the same, but we were brought up differently. This Jet is the same as the one that I know, but again, he was raised differently. We're the same people, and I know for a fact that Gabriel would never just leave."

Cas was quiet and nodded. "I'm aware… But it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't think. The trip he went on was to find something to save Sa-" he paused and corrected himself, "-to save my friend. He insisted that he'd be back with a cure, never once thinking that maybe his boyfriend would just rather him be there with him instead of off on some wild goose chase." He clenched his fists, jaw tightening and teeth pressing together, "I told him not to go." He snarled softly, "I told him it wouldn't do any good with him gone, but he didn't listen."

"Well… that does kind of sound like me." Gabriel admitted after the car had fallen silent, knowing full well that he'd see his Sam snap his head back to look at him. "But you should listen to the reasoning before you get mad. If Sam were sick and possibly dying, and I thought I knew where the cure was or that I could find it, I'd go."

"Your presence could be uplifting to his mentality and possibly save his life, you'd still leave him?" Castiel's smoldering anger flared to life again as he turned on Gabriel.

"But my presence isn't a sure thing, right? I mean, I'm there and watching him die or not there and trying to save his life, it looks like it's pretty obvious what I should do. Because both are a gamble and I can see the merit to each one, but in the end I'll take the risk to save his life. If he dies anyway at least he knows I'm still looking to save him."

"But he didn't! He thought you'd left him, ran away because he was sick! Do you understand? He died thinking you didn't love him!" Castiel's voice had risen; his face in a torrent of rage, and every word sounded like it cut him just as much as it was meant to cut Gabriel.

"Cas," Sam tried to hush him, his mind drawing connections just from the way Castiel had spoken. The meaning of his words had changed, it was no longer hypothetical 'if it were Sam' because to Cas it was Sam, and that had only become more clear the moment Castiel looked at him. The anger fled his body language, hate draining from his eyes to leave a sorrowful look in its wake, all because he looked at Sam. "This Sam isn't dead." He tried to say evenly, in a way that wouldn't do any damage, but it brought a shock to Castiel's system.

"Stop the car." Cas turned away, his hand shaking as it clicked the seatbelt free.

Sam furrowed his brow, glancing up at the mirror again to try and see Castiel's face though he couldn't. "We're going to see my brother-"

"Please!"

The desperation of Cas' voice hit home and Sam pulled over, barely stopping before Castiel scrambled out the door. "Cas!"

Castiel stumbled along the shoulder before tripping up and hitting his knees. He never thought he'd have to see Gabriel again, even if it weren't the same one. It opened old wounds and it made him want to scream.

"Cas," Sam's voice was soft as he approached, Castiel thinking briefly on which one it was but he recognized the gentle nature of it, it was the Sam travelling with him that had gone to his side the quickest. "Cas, it's okay. Whatever happened before is done now, alright? You don't have to go through it anymore." Sam whispered as he wrapped his arms around Castiel's shoulders, squeezing him in a hug. "It's over."

Cas' lower lip quivered and he rested his head against Sam's shoulder, trembling hands reached up to return the affection. They remained that way for several minutes, Jet having wandered to their sides and kneeling down next to them.

"You know something?" He started saying after a second or two, both of his travelling companions looking up at the sound of his voice. "Cas, I never really thought you cared before, and maybe that's why I didn't see you fighting with your own problems. But I want you know that you aren't alone here anymore."

Sam smiled and looked down at Castiel who had to wipe his eyes quickly, head nodding with no words to follow.

"If the old scars hurt, let us know okay? We won't just let you blow yourself apart like this, you know why?" Jet nudged Cas' shoulder gently, a grin on his face.

Cas looked at him again and shook his head, he didn't know why.

"Because we care about you, dumbass. It hasn't been that long that we've all been together but we care. So don't insult us, take care of yourself."

Castiel curled his bottom lip in; trying to stop himself from feeling anything but he couldn't help the light sob that shook him. He covered his mouth as Sam hugged him tighter, this time Jet joining in and squeezing them both.

Sam wouldn't have thought he'd see Castiel crack like that, and to know it was over a Sam of all people. He'd managed to put more puzzle pieces together; Cas' close friend was Sam. This Sam had gotten sick and from the way Cas was acting, he'd have to guess it wasn't all that drawn out. It was sudden and had clearly left deeper scars; they didn't have time to cope with it.

He made a mental note to inform Dean later, it was something he felt Dean should know.

Gabriel looked over at his boyfriend and mouthed 'What the fuck', to which he received a shrug. "Don't make fun Gabriel, something bad obviously happened."

"I guess dead Sam's aren't a thing to make fun of, huh?" Gabriel shrugged and looked back at the car.

"You guess?" Sam jabbed him in the side with a soft laugh.

"Let's get moving." Castiel spoke up again, his composure back and there to stay. "I'm sorry about that."

Gabriel smiled and waved it off, "No worries, we've been through worse."

Cas smiled subtly before going back to the car, he didn't say anything out loud but he wouldn't want to lose that moment for anything. He quietly climbed into the backseat and moved into the middle, silently giving Sam the spot with more room.