Hello again! Thank for all your reviews I really wasn't expecting such a great response, so to everyone who took the trouble to leave his opinion of my work and incited me to continue writing this story: thank you, you are all fantastic.

I actually based this fanfiction (besides on my personal opinion that Helga brings out the darkness in Arnold) on a single piece of dialogue a book I recently read, it was Great Expectations by Charles Dickens and it was basically like this: «…you're in every thought, you're part of my existence, you're part of me…». I read it and I just thought it fitted somehow in this idea I wanted to write about, so here we are.

Once again I apologize for any grammatical and spelling errors.

Disclaimer: Hey Arnold! does not in any way belong to me. I own nothing.

Disease

Chapter II: A Sick, Sick Man

The night of the big party came, and despite having been announced by the weather man to be one of the warmest nights of the year to him it was cold as winter, the week had gone off as planned, going to the pool with his friends, practicing in the batting cages, asking Lila to the summer bash… Well that hadn't been exactly like that, he and Lila were great friends in spite of his unreciprocated crush on her in the fourth grade, after he got sick he had tried to once again pursue Lila in hopping to cure himself of the fire he felt when he was with Helga. After a lot of begging Lila agreed to go out to Slausen's Ice Cream Parlor with him, halfway through his awkward pity date he realized he was unable to summon his former feelings for the sweet red-haired girl, the same empty feeling that something wasn't right when he tried to picture them together tormented him, when he confessed that he just didn't like her like her anymore her relief had been palpable. Their friendship had evolved rapidly and due to the fact that Lila had never found that oh-so-special-someone and that his disease had only gotten worse from there on, sometimes when they were both single and there was this kind of social events they went together as friend in other to spare them the embarrassment of going alone, it was a well-rotted habit.

So he didn't really asked her out, she was already expecting him to take her, and he already knew he was taking her, they just met to discuss the details, the time he could pick her up, her curfew, if his Grandpa would let him have the car… And then right before he got up to leave he was surprised to find that Lila had gripped his wrist stopping him.

"Arnold, is everything alright with you?"

He was shocked at this question; they had been talking normally till now, what had brought up this question?

"Of course I'm alright Lila. What are you talking about?"

She looked a bit nervous, her hand shaking slightly as if she was afraid…

"It's just that lately… I don't know… when you're with Helga…"

The ice took over; he could feel himself going very far away, dethatching himself from this conversation emotionally, his body becoming an automatic machine, cold as steel. With a movement of his arm he broke the grip Lila had on his wrist as if he was disgusted by it. When he spoke the ice cut through the air, the only thing that told him apart from a soulless machine was the slight inflection of anger.

"What about Helga?"

"Every time you meet her you're rude and cruel and downright nasty. You are insulting and cold, I don't understand why you're behaving this way! Did you two have a fight?"

"It's none of your business." He responded and walked away.

It really wasn't. This was between Helga and him, it was their battle, their game, she and Gerald and Helga's mystery boyfriend had nothing to do with this, this no matter how sick and strange it was, it belonged to them and them only. The fact that others kept interfering thinking they had any claim to his relationship with Helga was annoying him.

The words Lila had spoken were true, ever since Gerald had told him of Helga's betrayal in their game, he had been so cold and the fact that Helga didn't even seemed to recognize the damage she had done to him, had made him want to make her feel as cold and as lost as him, be as nasty to her as she had been to him, to make her feel the same fire and confusion she had drown him in. So he had willingly started to hang out at the places he knew she frequented, sometimes he just glared at her from far away as she practiced baseball or hung out with Phoebe, noticing every little detail about her, the way she nibbled on her lip every time she concentrated or how her hair moved and danced with the light with the slightest movement and getting angrier by the minute, other times we wanted the confrontation and he brought up subjects which he knew would make her angry or cause them to argue. Their arguments were becoming more vicious with each time they met, more insulting, last time they had any contact Gerald and Phoebe had to actually physically drag them from each other in order to avoid the complete and utter rupture of their fragile bond.

Why is everyone turning against him?! Helga treated him like dirt his whole life and none of them had ever bated an eye, now when I finally start to push back everything is my fault! I'm the mean one, the rude one, the one who is out of line… Well what about her? She drives me crazy and she doesn't even care! Well screw them! I'm not backing down anymore! I'm not going to let her win anymore!

He ran his hands through his head, how could his skin feel so hot when he felt so cold on the inside?

What was happening to him?

He had to be ill, he was cold and hot and confused and scared yet feeling bold and daring. He hated Helga so much, like he never hated anything before in his life, hated what she was doing to him, he never thought he could feel this intensely about something, this all consuming feeling was changing him and tormenting him and he was fighting with all his might but still, little by little it was overtaking him.

In his dreams the memories of the time he spent with her, the good and the bad, molded and mixed together, growing in intensity until they surrounded him and drowned him in the turmoil of emotions that Helga always awoke in him, one moment he was playing baseball against her in Gerald's Field just like a few days ago, the next he would be nine again and they would be dancing the tango at the April Fools Dance and the next he would be spraying her face with water at Chez Parris. Sometimes she didn't appear at all, but he could feel her there, her voice teasing him like he was still just a child, a sudden glimpse of golden hair and a pink ribbon caught his eye, he would call her, demand for her to show herself to him. In all those times he woke up as if he was awakening from a fever dream, confused, the memories of the dream would be at first so very vivid that he believed that she was still with him, only to then fade away and he would find himself alone and the dark feeling the emptiness eating him up from the inside out.

When he fought with her it felt a little like it had a few years ago, when he poured paint on her as pay back for the torture she put him through, it felt good and every cell in his body was telling him she deserved it, yet there was a thin sense of guilt and stronger one of awkwardness of doing so foreign as to be mean and feel pleasure for it, but now it was enhanced by years of frustration and illness.

The small part of him that still retained a bit of logic tried to remind him of all the good things Helga had done, that deep inside her there was something good and kind. That she was creative and intelligent but scared to show it… But that just made his anger against her grow and fester, the fact that there were people that knew who Helga really was while he had put the pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle, the fact that Helga was never honest with him, that she had the nerve to tell him she loved him, to make him like this and then never bothered to show her true self, like he wasn't worthy of seeing it, made his blood boil and he felt like screaming at her and fight with her just to get some relief from this pressure.

What was he becoming?

This was going too far, there was something inside him that scared him, something dark and forbidden lurking underneath all the ice that was in his soul just bidding his time, waiting to claw his way into the surface and cause chaos, something that promised to fix his problems, to cure him of his maladies and finally defeat Helga for good, something that was him and it wasn't him since something so powerful and sinister could never belong to him… It had been born out of the sickness in his heart, and in his forced ignorance and neglect of it, it had grown and prospered and now it was so close to taking over him that only that layer of ice separated it from taking over him and him from becoming it.

But the ice was spreading, leaving him angry and indifferent at the same time, he was starting not to care if it ever broke out, it promised to defeat Helga that was what he wanted, what he needed to do, it promised to cure him of the corruption inside him, to bring him peace, to set things right again. What wouldn't he give to be healed, to sleep peacefully at least, to finally close his eyes to her presence, to be able to ignore her like he tried to do his whole life… Part of him wanted to bring that thing out and finally stop walking on eggshells; he was so tired of fighting it…

What the hell was he?

"So Shortman, are you ready to go to your friend's little party?"

He fixed his tie and gave his image in the mirror a quick assessment; he was dressed in a tuxedo and a green tie, and turned back to look at his Grandpa.

"Sure thing Grandpa. I'll be back late so you and Grandma so don't wait up."

"Pookie told me the same thing about twenty minutes ago and went out the door. So it will be just me and the guys playing poker tonight. Now you go and have fun, and do nothing I wouldn't do."

"Bye Grandpa."

He took the Packard and drove up to Lila's front door; she was already outside waiting for him, dressed in a pretty green dress with some frills, green shoes with a golden buckle, her red hair in a bun and curls. She was so very beautiful, waiting there on her doorstep for him, so kind and sweet, like some sort of princess from a fairytale and he couldn't see her, all he could think about was if Helga was going to show up, how she would look like, or if she was going to show up with an that guy's arm wrapped around her body. He was insane, he had to be, after all he had the perfect girl right in front of him and yet every fiber of his being was focused on that blonde menace, he had to be insane, this disease had made him like this, she made him like this.

It was always her fault…

"Good evening Arnold."

"Hey Lila. Ready to go?"

"Why certainly Arnold! I'm sure we'll have ever so much fun, Rhonda's parties are always so delightful."

"Yeah."

She didn't talked about the events of a few days ago, although she kept glancing at him when she thought he wasn't looking, he knew she was worried, they were friends and most of all she was friends with Helga too, Lila was a kind girl she wanted all of her friends to be as happy and carefree as her, so naturally she was worried about this tension between him and Helga. But she needed to see that it wasn't really her concern, his relationship with Helga had always been tense and strange and no one had felt the need to butt in before, just because it was becoming more intense it didn't mean it was her right to try to fix something that had never been completely right in the first place.

They arrived to the front of the sumptuous Jasmine Country Club in comfortable silence; delivering the Packard to the valet, they entered the ballroom, together but not touching. The room was enormous the eastern wall was covered in windows, the entry was a stairway of polished marble and directly on the opposite wall there were was a gigantic pair of windows that led to a balcony overlooking the green fields and half hidden by a curtain was a small door. The walls were of painted with beautiful earthly tones and the titled floor was cool on the warm night. There were two long tables filled with food of all kinds, chairs were put up against the wall for those who wanted to sit down and eat or just rest. Ice sculptures of swans, deer and Greek gods towered over the tables, balloons danced in the ceiling and across the floor a DJ played in a corner, on the floor several couples and groups were already dancing. With the flowing dresses, the lights, the full moon and the stars shining through the windows, the green fields and trees reflected in the windows made the whole place glow, reminding him of movie scenes. Rhonda had obviously had went all out this year and the place was packed, it seemed that almost every kid in school was here.

"Oh look there's Rhonda."

She was meting them at the bottom of the stairs, wearing what was obviously a high-couture red dressed, by her side was the Capitan of the High School football team, a senior, he was nice guy, a bit slow-witted but very popular and Rhonda's date, it seemed to him that the poor guy, smiling as he followed Rhonda around, was more of an accessory than the designer bracelet Rhonda was wearing.

"Arnold! Lila! Welcome! Welcome! So want do you think? Isn't it a great party? One of my greatest works, wouldn't you agree?"

"It looks great Rhonda; you really outdid yourself this time."

"Of course I did. Well don't let me interrupt your fun, go, go, mingle, eat, dance, enjoy! Marie, darling! I'm so glad you came! Isn't it a wondrous party? "

And then she walked away with her date in tow to great another newcomer. Lila quickly spotted their usual gang talking near the table, well most of them were talking, Harold was stuffing his face with appetizers while a disgruntled but slightly amused Patty looked on.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Arnold. Hey Lila!"

"Is everybody here already?"

Sid looked around counting their companions.

"Well almost everybody. Phoebe, Gerald, Eugene and Sheena are dancing."

He pointed to the dance floor were Gerald was spinning the small Asian girl in his arms while she giggled and Sheena and Eugene were doing one of their extravagant and perfectly choreographed dances, almost knocking down a busboy during one of their pirouettes.

He looked around attentively, taking in the entire ballroom, Rhonda was playing hostess, a group of freshmen were standing nervously in a corner, and most of the people were on the dance floor, bodies spinning, grinding, people laughing and talking, music pumping, lights flashing. Yet no glimpse of long blonde hair or familiar figure caught his eyes, nor any mocking snicker reached his ears, the blood wasn't singing in his veins nor was the fire burning hotter than usual. She wasn't here, Phoebe was here and she wasn't, which meant that she was coming latter with somebody else; she was coming here with him.

He felt the air turn colder.

"Where's Helga?"

They exchanged nervous looks and he felt his blood turn to ice. They knew… They all knew and they were all on her side! Didn't they see that she was the one responsible for all this; she had turned his world upside down eight years ago, she had forced him to play this twisted game until he became addicted to it, she had made him this sick! She didn't even took responsibility for what she did, she just slithered away certain that he would back down and let do everything she wanted. Well not anymore! He wasn't just going to let her walk away without at least an explanation of what she had done to him.

He dispelled the anger inside of him and relaxed his shoulders, his eyes observing his worried friends. It really wasn't their fault; they just didn't understood what was really going on, the game Helga played with him was private; a silent battle between the two of them, and others weren't needed. And now that he was finally fighting back they found his change in demeanor strange, but soon it would all be over, this battle was close to the finish, Helga had just thrown her final blow and now he was going to finish this.

He felt cold, so cold his whole being was becoming numb, numb to their concerned gazes, numb to the music and beauty around him, numb to the tiny voice in his head that was warning of how close to edge he really was, how close the monster inside of him was to break away, how close he was to crossing that line, the line he had never dared to cross, the line drawn between them the day they agreed that nothing had happened on that rooftop, that final fragile illusion had so many cracks that it was close to shattering.

"Oh Arnold I simply love this song, if we could dance to it I would enjoy it ever so much."

She pulled him to the dance floor; he looked at his friends they were all whispering among themselves, he grabbed Lila's hand and began to dance with her. He couldn't concentrate on the music, could not enjoy the melody and the beat or the voice of the singer, his mind was racing too loud for him to properly hear them, conjuring images of shadowy figures interlacing lovingly in some secret corner. He didn't focused on his partner's graceful movements or twinkling laughter, although she turned many eyes towards her, as his eyes were always turning to the grand staircase or searching for her distinct shape in the middle of the moving bodies that scattered across the beautiful room. In some distant corner of his mind he knew that Lila's body was warm and pleasant to the touch and that her perfume was soft and sweet but he was too numb from the cold to feel such things.

Lila's favorite song ended and another began and she still wasn't there, he danced another and another until Lila felt tired and they sat down near Eugene, who was talking to his senior, a pretty boy from the drama club, Nadine and Peapod were exchanging small talk and she still didn't show up. At a certain point he went to get him and Lila something to eat, they talked about their plans for the summer vacation but she still hadn't appeared…

He felt lost, he was without a purpose without her near him; this sickness was making him forget why he wanted to come to this party in the first place. Where was she? She was never this late! Had something happen to her? Had she decided that spending time with some guy was more important than coming to a party with her friends? Wasn't she even going to let him finish this? Was he doomed to spend the rest of his life stuck in this state of anger and ice, his senses forever stunted?

He forced those thoughts out his mind, but still their echoes remained, he couldn't focus, he couldn't breathe. He was angry and worried till the point where he didn't know if when she appeared he would scream at her or hug her.

He got up and asked his date to dance, the moment her tiny hand touched his he was frustrated and empty, he wanted to see Lila's beauty, he wanted to forget about Helga and their game, to let them both go on their own separate paths but he wanted to win too badly to stop now.

The music came to a stop and while he was basking in those few seconds of silence between songs his hears caught a sound, the sound he had been desperate to hear this entire night.

"Helga, darling, I know it is fashionable to be late but still there really is something as too much of a good thing."

Electric energy zapped through every atom of his being, his senses sharpened to a height he forgotten he had, his entire body seemed to awaken with a jolt. He felt alive, for the first time in days he was alive! He turned to face the source of if nightmares.

And he felt the ice returning with a vengeance, he could see her smiling innocently, like she hadn't done anything at all. He could see her, her long hair, free from any restrain tumbled and curled until it went pass her shoulders in gentle golden waves, her dress wasn't glamorous or elaborate like other girl's were, it was a simple piece of baby pink cloth wrapped around her body leaving the soft skin of her shoulders exposed to the night air, she wore no jewelry and simple sensible shoes. The lights bathed her in a warm soft glow, she looked amazing, he took in her whole figure and felt hatred running through his veins, of course the effect was completely ruined by that hideous arm wrapped around her waist, if there was any chance he could have thought of Helga as beautiful tonight it was impossible now.

He followed that arm to the shoulder it was attached to; from that shoulder he passed the thin neck to the familiar face, his face twisted itself into a mocking sneer, he swallowed a malicious laugh.

Brainy?! Is she serious? The mystery guy is wheezy, creepy, stalker Brainy! This has got to be a joke! This is one of her pranks, a new way to drive him crazy; it was the only logical explanation. Helga and Brainy! Brainy and Helga! Together! She hates him, she never gave him the time of day, this has to be one of her schemes… It just has to be…

He watched, his anger growing at every second that arm remained where it obviously didn't belong, as they walked through the room towards their friends, he watched as they were welcomed with open arms, no one seemed to find it odd that Helga was now dating what had been once her one of her favorite punching bags. Phoebe and Gerald were the only ones that seems a bit uneasy by these strange events, they abandoned the dance floor with a worried look on their faces, he saw Phoebe softly touch Helga's naked arm and pulling her away from that revolting hold, whispering concernedly to her. He wanted to get closer to her and listen to what they were saying; maybe Phoebe was just counseling Helga on how wrong it was to using Brainy in their game, but Lila still had his hand trapped in hers, already moving to the beat of a new song.

He glared at her and she turned her face away, he turned his head to catch a glimpse of Brainy handing a glass to Helga and then bending over to say something in her hear, his body tensed and he felt sick, his throat was filled with bile, there was nothing soft or warm in him left.

"Ouch! Arnold you're squeezing my hand too hard!"

He turned to look at Lila, he had forgotten she was there, that he was in a dance floor surrounded by dozens of people, so focused he was on her every move. He saw Brainy offering his hand to her with a flourish and his hears caught her giggle even over noise of people and music. He grinded his teeth, moving mechanically across the floor, every time Brainy touched her the cold froze a bit more of his soul, his vision turned red and he walked a little closer to the edge of sanity.

Thankfully the song ended and Lila was very thirsty, meaning that he could finally focused solely on the phenomenon of nature that was Brainy and Helga's relationship, they danced and laughed and talked to their friends like there was nothing wrong. But he knew better, this whole scene seemed like it was taken out of some sort of pizza induced nightmare, and Brainy was just smiling like an idiot, was he really not aware that Helga was just using him to torment him?

She knew exactly what she had done to him, that she had created such emptiness in him that couldn't be satisfied, she knew that because of her every time he tried to develop any sort of romantic relationship was doomed to be a failure and now here she was, parading Brainy in front of him to show off her victory, that she could find someone he couldn't. Tormenting him, teasing him she actually had the nerve to do this to him, this was her final blow on him, to drive him to insanity and then show off how she wasn't even the least bit affected. This was the last straw, he couldn't wait anymore! He had to show her who the winner really was, that no matter how she tried to hide it she had given him the advantage years ago.

Tonight this would all be over; tonight the tables would finally turn, for tonight he was going to win! And when at last he would see her broken and defeated at his feet, then he would be healed, this sickness would finally be over and he would be free from her.

He watched, he calculated, whoever paid enough attention to his demeanor would without doubt be reminded of a panther stalking his prey. He talked to no one, his eyes never left her. Lila had gone to talk to some of her friends, and now it was just a matter of waiting for the right time.

Now!

Sid had called Brainy and he was walking away, leaving Helga free and at his mercy. He moved swiftly, excited but the ice in him didn't let any expression pass on to his face but that of cold indifference, he only stopped when was has right by her side.

"So… you and Brainy huh?

She gave a startled jump and turned to him; face shocked, if it was at his sudden appearance or at the cold mocking tone of his voice he didn't care. He was sick, the shine in her startled blue eyes and her soft gasp had pocked the monster inside him and now there was barely anything part of him that hasn't been corrupted by the sickness left. Her shocked look brought a tingle of pleasure to his body, but Helga wasn't the type of girl who would be defeated so easily, the game would be very boring if she was. Her face twisted into a scowl and she looked away from him to follow Brainy with her eyes, he formed a fist with his left hand and fought back a snarl that had nothing of human in it.

"Mind your own beeswax Football Head! So I came to the party with Brainy, so what? I don't know why everyone's so surprised. Criminy he's not some sort of leper."

He frowned at her words; there she was again, treating him like he was nothing, like this was nothing, she wasn't even looking at him!

"Oh I'm not surprised at all. I know from experience that when sometimes when you act like you hate a guy it just means that you feel just the opposite."

She was looking at him now. Her skin had taken on a pale tone, her body tensed and her furious eyes clashed with his; it was the same as a few weeks ago, the battle of wills. He smiled mockingly at her; he wasn't backing down, not this time, never again…

"Shall we dance?"

He offered her his hand; his smile was so cold, like it had been carved in stone.

"You know what? I think I'm going to have to pass on that." She turned and started to walk away.

No! You can't do that! How dare she walk away from this! He wasn't finished yet!

The monster broke through the ice, finally unleashed, ravenous, furious, and filled with that passionate hatred that only she could awaken. He was so close to that dark edge, he no longer had any control over his actions, he was just watching as that passion moved his body and used his voice. He watched as his body grabbed Helga's arm and squeezed it tightly, preventing her escape, his body pulled her to him, rejoicing on the fact that she wasn't fighting him. He walked closer to the edge, he didn't care anymore he just wanted to win.

He was so cold…

She turned to face him, she was scared, trembling, her eyes darting to left and right worried that someone was watching them. He growled and pulled her closer to him; even now she was more worried about what others might think and not about what was happening now, between them. He followed her eyes to Brainy, still talking to Sid and Stinky oblivious to his girlfriend's (he thought with contempt) distress, the anger rose like a tidal wave pushing him over the edge to the dark pit. Why was she looking at Brainy when he was the one that had her at his mercy?

"Let go Arnold."

She was so close to him, he could feel her warmth. The contrast between what he had felt with Lila and what he was felling with her was incredible, with Lila he had been so cold and numb that he could barely feel her underneath the layer of ice, but now… it was like his senses were getting drunk off her, it had been so long since he felt with such intensity. The heat and softness of the skin beneath his hand made his body tingle and his heart speed up, his face was so close to hers that a few of her more rebellious strings of hair tickled his nose, he could smell her perfume that unlike Lila's was cool and with a tinge of citrus, his eyes drank her form, the light in her hair, the shadows in her neck, the nervous tap of her left foot. He missed this; he needed this, to feel so much of everything after that long period of numbness… he felt so alive. He couldn't let her leave now; he couldn't go back to the cold and the numbness. He needed her with him!

He watched as his body bended down to whisper in her ear, the moment seemed to last forever, the calm before the storm…

"FTi."

The illusion shattered, he fell into the darkness, the point of no return had been crossed and nothing could ever take this moment back. It was amazing how a single word could change things, her reaction had been instantaneous, the trembling became more pronounced, her skin had become an unhealthy shade of white and she apparently had lost all ability to speak since her delicate pink lips were parted but no sound had been able to come out.

He had won. He offered her his hand again and noticed the music that was playing.

A tango, how appropriate…

"Shall we?"

She took his hand and silently followed him to the dance floor. It was a song very alike the one that had played in that dance eight years ago, the situation was also similar; the feeling of victory was running through his body, exhilaration in every time they touched, joy as they moved together as one across the floor. Right hands intertwined, his left on her curvy waist while hers squeezed his shoulder, feet barely missing each other, traveling in quick movements that seemed like they had been dancing with each other their whole lives.

People were looking at them; Brainy was frowning as he followed their movements, he tossed him a smile, it was rotten thing to do even his diseased state he realized that, but he couldn't stop the exhilaration at the feel of her in his arms, the victory, the joy, the excitement was making him giddy, it was a bit like being drunk only that all of his attention was focused on her.

The song ended too soon for his taste and he felt her hands on his chest pushing him slightly away, but he stood his ground. He had won, didn't she realized that, she could no longer deny that she wasn't affected by this too, not anymore.

"We need to talk."

Her voiced was laced with barely contained anger, she took his hand in a hard grip and pulled him towards to the small door, she glanced at Brainy who gave her a small nod, their friends were talking among themselves and Gerald was gripping Phoebe's shoulder stopping her from following them. They went through the small door and down a few barely lit steps and he was dragged across the green grass illuminated by the moon and the few stars that could shine despite the city lights, she only stopped on the other side of the building, were no one in the ballroom could see them. This was it, their battle was about to begin, she was furious, he was furious; no one was backing out now.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

This was it.

"What the hell is wrong with me?! What about you? You were late and then you show up here with Brainy! Brainy! Seriously?"

"That is none of your business!" she growled.

How dare she?

"Really? You're actually going to run with that?"

It was all her fault.

"Yes because it's true. That is not why I dragged you here! What the hell was that?!"

"What?"

"On the dance floor, that's what! Out of the blue you decide to bring up that thing! Why?"

I have wanted to say this for so long…

"That thing? Can't you even say what it was! You kissed me! You told me you loved me! And then you treat me like it never happen!"

"It didn't happen! It was just the heat of the moment, you agreed with me at the time!"

What did you do to me Helga?

"You can't just tell someone that and then expect things to go back to normal!"

This passion…

"Things did go back to normal! After that thing we went on with our lives, nothing changed! Why? Why bring it up now?"

"I changed! I didn't want to but I changed and it was because of that, because of you!"

This madness…

"What? I don't understand you, Arnold! I don't understand why you keep talking about that thing, its dead and buried! "

"Really? Because the way you reacted when I brought it up it didn't look so dead and buried to me! You can deny it all you want Helga but you and I both know it happened, that that was the only time you were actually honest with me."

This heat…

"I want answers Helga. You're not slithering away this time."

This sickness…

It's not normal Helga, no one was ever supposed to feel this way it is driving me crazy!

"For heaven's sake Arnaldo, it was eight years ago!"

Can't you see that I'm scared Helga? I don't know who I am anymore…you changed me Helga…

"Now be a big boy and get over it!"

I want it to stop now!

He was burning alive, he couldn't take it anymore, the fear, the anger, the dreams, the memories, her touch, her smell, her voice surrounded him, and it was all too much. It all came tumbling down, like a tsunami sweeping its path destroying everything in its way. He couldn't think straight, his heart felt like it was going to explode any second now, he was overwhelmed and he didn't know by what, by his hatred for her that burned so brightly at her words, by his frustration, by the dark monster inside him, he didn't know! He was so tired of this turmoil, of this drama… why did everything in his life that involved her have always to be such a mess? Why did she hate him so much that she could never make it easy for him? Why was she such a big part of his existence? Why couldn't it have been someone else? Anyone but her…

He could deal with other people, he could talk with other people, be calm and collected and never let things go out of hand. But not with her, never with her, she awakened something in him that couldn't be controlled, no matter how much he tried to get away she managed to pull him back in… no, Helga G. Pataki would forever be his tormentor.

He didn't know what he was doing anymore, his body was moving but he wasn't controlling it, he had stopped fighting for control as soon as she said those words, he just felt. He felt as he grabbed Helga's shoulders in a tight grip, he felt as he pushed her against a wall and pressed his body against hers, feeling her curves against his lines, he let out a desperate moan when he felt her coldness against his raging heat, soothing it, calming it a relief he hadn't felt in years washed over him, a sick part of his mind couldn't help but noticing how well they fit together. He listened absent mindedly to her protests, as he was focusing on how to continue this miracle, this cure that only she could provide. And then he felt his mouth covering hers in a touch that had nothing of sweet or romantic but that was desperate and passionate an attempt to ease the fire inside him, he lost himself in that touch and let his instincts take over him.

And then Arnold knew what he was… he was a very, very sick man.

Well… I wasn't expecting to write such a long chapter, but once I started I just couldn't find a way to stop, it just came out. I hope I can update soon. In the meanwhile please leave your reviews so I'll know if I'm in the right track or not. I am a bit nervous with the dialogue between Helga and Arnold; I wanted to make it as real as possible. But on the upside I think I captured Arnold's emotions with some accuracy.

Until the next time, please review.