Fragments of Memories

"Did you know that Dean and I have lived like this most of our lives?" Sam smiled brightly across the table from Castiel, it was the second time Dean brought their neighbor over and Sam just couldn't get over how well his brother clicked with the stranger.

"Have you now?" Cas was very good at humouring him, Sam could never really tell if Castiel was interested in what he had to say or not.

"Yeah, really. Our parents died when we were little, Dean's been taking care of both of us ever since."

"Sounds like Dean's pretty good at this kind of thing." Castiel smiled and Sam knew at that moment that Cas had to stay.

Domus

Just as quickly as it had started, it ended. The two high priests lost velocity as they seemed to enter another limbo space, drifting to a stop. Their grip on one another loosened, Cas lifted his head to look around and Dean could feel the small vibrations of his trembling. "Cas?" He asked softly, secretly relieved to hear his own voice again. "What's a domus?"

"One of the shadow creatures in the void," Cas groaned and dropped his head against Dean again, somewhat comforted by his presence. "Goddamn it..."

"What's wrong?"

"I should have seen it!" Cas pulled away, his body lowering to the floor at a whim, feet touching down in the dimly lit area. "Domus are so fucking obvious, how did I not see it?" He screamed into the darkness, his voice echoing all around them.

"Calm down, you had a lot on your mind. How do we beat it? What's it doing?" Dean touched down beside him, trying to calmly move into Castiel's space without spooking him any.

"It's a shadow creature that takes over houses, usually there's a loud groaning noise during the night which is when it does most of its moving. Normally it chooses a room to nest in and in the dark it comes out, if there's someone in that room during the night it takes them." Cas ran a hand through his hair, the other fidgeting with the pajama top that the other Castiel had given him. It was soft, he wasn't sure what fabric exactly but it was very soft and comforting so he played with the hemming while his mind ran through what to do next.

"Is there a way out?" Dean looked around, not really able to see anything.

"Yes, but it's complicated." Cas furrowed his brow and started walking, "You need to face your fears, basically. If there are several people taken at once only one of them will need to accomplish this, not all. However the more people there are the deeper the fear will run."

"So if there was just one person then it would be pretty easy to get out?"

"Easier, anyway. After the person has faced whatever it is the domus throws at them they aren't always able to move in time. Often their mind is still in shock, the deeper the fear the longer it takes for their brain to process it all. However as soon as they beat the domus' test, it creates an exit. The opening to get out is temporary, it lasts for a few minutes and then the process starts all over again." Cas looked around as he walked, little bits of memories cropping up to create vague environments as he passed by. "Do you see anything right now, Dean?"

"Uhm... sort of, there's some furniture and stuff." Dean stepped around a chair as he walked, glancing over at Cas' rigid stride. "How does it decide who to target?"

"The person with the deeper fears, usually. The stronger it is the more likely it'll be that the other person will be able to see it too. Do you recognize any of this stuff?"

"Not really."

"I was afraid of that." Cas swallowed nervously, "Because I do..."

Dean's gaze snapped to Castiel again, 'What am I going to see?' Was the first thought that came to mind and it worried him more than anything else. Because whatever he saw probably wasn't going to be the thing that scared Castiel the most but it'd be enough to torment him. And after everything that had already happened that day, why did it have to be Cas? "No," Dean hurried ahead of Castiel and looked around, "No! Target me, you son of a bitch!"

"Dean, it doesn't work like that." Castiel muttered, a chill running down his spine as the room started to take more of a shape than it had previously. It was his living room.

"Hey! You hear me!?" Dean wasn't listening, instead he was roaming around the forming house looking for the domus. "Cas, how do we kill it?" He spun around, ready with weapon in hand now, but it didn't matter.

Because Castiel was no longer listening.

Instead Cas was standing, facing the back of another Dean who was bracing himself against the wall, shoulders shaking and body tense.

"Dean?" Cas whispered, reaching over and sliding a hand along his bicep, "Baby, you should be in there."

"He's..." This phantom Dean was struggling to speak, his teeth grinding together. "I can't see him like this-"

"Dean just go..." Cas tried to interrupt, his voice was shaking and entirely uncertain as he tried. But that didn't matter either because his memory wasn't listening. Cas bit his lower lip and tried harder, pulling at Dean and attempting to force him. "You have to. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't! Dean!"

Instead of taking his lover's word, however, the phantom lashed out instead. It smashed Castiel in the face and knocked him backward, stumbling and tripping until he fell to the floor. Cas reached up and touched his face where he'd been struck, he didn't look at all surprised by it.

"Cas!" Dean, his partner, shouted and ran to his side. "Cas, you okay?"

"Yes... That happened last time."

"Last time? Cas, what's the fear that you have to face?" Dean started to pull him to his feet, he mostly ended up hauling Castiel up without much help. "Is it this asshole?"

"No... no I was never afraid of Dean." Cas turned his head toward the stairs, looking up as his face started to pale. "I could never... break it to Sam."

"Sam?" Dean looked up the stairs then back at Castiel, "Come on, let's go see him."

"I... I can't." Cas felt his arms shaking and he crossed them to try and stop it.

"You have to, now let's move." Dean grabbed Cas by the shoulders from behind and pushed him toward the stairs. It was a bit of a struggle but he managed to haul Castiel to the bedroom he seemed to be most anxious about. Dean opened the door and felt his stomach tighten into knots, Castiel bracing against him and letting out a soft cry of protest.

Sam was pale and thin, every part of him sunken in, his skin clinging to the bones in order to stay on. He rolled his head to the side to look toward the door and Dean saw how pale his eyes were, the dark circles beneath them, and even how wispy and unhealthy his hair looked. It was disgusting, he remembered how sick Sam had been back in his world but it had never gotten this bad. "What's happening to him?" Dean whispered to Castiel who could only shake his head as he approached Sam's bedside.

"Cas..." Sam wheezed with a half smile, "Where's... Dean?"

"He's..." Cas bit his lower lip and turned around to look at his partner, "He can't see you, I don't know what to say."

Dean watched the pain and fear in Castiel's eyes and realized that he'd had to lie to Sam the first time. "Lying to him doesn't work, does it?"

"No, I did that last time."

"Then what are you scared of?"

"Telling him the truth." Cas trailed off and glanced back over at the tired young man watching him from the bed. "I couldn't ever tell him his big brother was..."

"Cas?" Sam strained to sit up but couldn't. "Where's... Dean?"

"Sweetheart," Castiel fidgeted and looked around anxiously, wanting to lie again, to let Sam die in peace. But that wouldn't help, it hadn't then and it wouldn't now. "Sam, Dean's... Dean's not coming up."

Dean felt his heart ache as he watched the look on Sam's face, those already pained eyes flickering with the information. "Oh..." he coughed a few times, straining to keep it in but his entire body shook with the force of it. "Did... did he say why?"

"He says he can't." Castiel walked over and sat down at Sam's side, taking his cold hand and squeezing gently.

Dean stood and watched the exchange, the way Sam laid there silently, letting Castiel hold onto him but not really squeezing back. At least, from Dean's angle it didn't look like it. How could his little brother get so bad? Why wasn't the other Dean up there watching this? It tore him apart to see it, yes, but to say he didn't want to? To let Sam lie there alone? It wasn't right.

"Cas?" Sam squeaked, looking up with hazy vision, the already faded look seeming more and more pale.

"Yes Sam?"

"Can you get me some water?"

Cas hesitated, his body twitching to get up immediately and leave. But he stayed put. "No, Sam. I won't."

Dean furrowed his brow, "Cas, he wants water-"

"You want me to leave too, you want to justify these feelings of being alone, but I won't let you." Cas' voice was trembling and Dean could hear the strain of holding back tears without even having to see his face. "I won't let you," Cas repeated with a light sob, "Not this time." As he spoke Sam's limbs twitched and his eyes were glassy as tears slipped down his cheeks. Castiel held Sam's hand as his body convulsed and eyes rolled back, every muscle tightening and nearly tearing themselves apart. Castiel wouldn't let go. "I love you, Sam." he cried as he spoke, his own body quivering as he remained where he was.

Dean didn't know how he managed it but he walked forward to touch Castiel's shoulder. He was shaking too, his hand didn't feel all that comforting, he was sure, but he tried it anyway. He wanted to say something as Sam passed away, but it hurt too much for words. He'd avoided it in his world, his little brother was still with him and waiting back at that house. Dean tried to remind himself of that as he fought off the tears, at least for Castiel's sake. As they stood in silence the world faded, but Castiel didn't move.

Dean looked up when he saw a light, "The exit." he grabbed Cas and dragged him up, finding that his partner basically became dead weight. Dean groaned as he lifted Castiel into his arms and carried him out, holding him to his chest as he ran for the flickering exit.

As excited as he was to get out he still didn't know how to kill the damn thing. Dean stumbled into the bedroom again to find it was normal, like it had never been blown apart in the first place. He didn't stop to think just yet, instead he moved to lay Castiel down outside the room, incase it all happened again. "Alright," Dean drew his weapon again, this time creating something more along the lines of a light sabre. He knew he couldn't exactly fight a shadow with anything physical.

Dean entered the room again, peering inside to see the figure standing in the corner like it had been before, though this time it looked a little dazed, swaying back and forth like it had been smacked one too many times. 'This must be a side effect of someone getting out.' He figured, closing in on the thing.

"Lift your hand, Winchester." A voice echoed in his head and nearly made him trip over the throw rug.

But Dean didn't argue, instead he lifted his hand toward the domus as instructed. He felt a wave flow through him, energy sparking up in his body like he'd never felt before. And before he really knew what was happening his mouth and body were moving on their own, words in another language spewing out and a light glowing in his palm. He wanted to pull back, call for Cas for an answer as to what was happening, but he couldn't. Instead he watched as something controlled his body, using him as a medium to vaporize the domus on the spot.

Dean gasped when he was suddenly in his own head again, hunching forward and falling to his knees. "What... the hell?" He turned to look out of the room, hoping maybe Cas was up but he could only see Castiel's feet, still motionless. "What the hell..."