"Honey, what happened?" James leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he stares intently at Idina. After calming down and making them both coffee, Idina suggested a seat in the living room. Her legs are pulled up into her chest, her hands wrapping around the coffee mug as if it's her last remaining tie to sanity.
"A lot. Not much." She refuses to make eye contact or answer in more than a few vague words. James wishes she would open up without it being like pulling teeth, but mainly he wishes he knew what had changed, what had caused such damage to such a beautiful spirit. But the damage was already there. Simply resurfacing and increasing.
"Idina...szívem...it's going to be okay. I promise. No matter what happens, I won't leave you. Please let me help you." Desperation creeps into James' voice. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let her go.
"James, I appreciate the offer, but please don't make promises you can't keep. You say you won't leave, but human nature is not to do things that hurt us. I've hurt you. Therefore you must go. I won't hurt you anymore. I'm so sorry." Idina's factual, emotionless manner breaks in the last sentence. No matter how many times an apology crosses her lips, she never fails to let you know when she truly means it. She speaks through her eyes. James wants to heal those eyes, take away the pain and shame and weariness and hatred they so often reflect and someday fill them with total and complete joy. To see Idina smile and it reach her eyes.
"Baby, listen to me. You didn't hurt me. When I cried and you thought I was hurt, I wasn't. I wasn't crying for me, I was crying for you. It kills me to think that so often we let you slip by, suffering this world alone. Honey, I've been there. I've tried to do it alone. I have my own scars, on the inside. One thing I've learned is that I'll never understand this world. I'll never understand why people die, why people leave. I'll never understand why humans treat each other in such a despicable manner as they often do. I'll never understand why this world would take the most incredible woman I know and turn her so fiercely against herself. So when I say I'll never leave you, I mean it. Because while maybe it does hurt, slightly, and only for a short while, I know that it's one thing that's right in this world. I want to see you smile again, Dee. I promise you, we'll get there. Just let me in."