Hey guys sorry about the last chapter, I stayed up all night and started the chapter around 6:30 a.m and finished it around 7 a.m, and I still have only gotten an hour or two of sleep. But hopefully this chapter will be better :P
"Stay away from me," her voice was shaking with raw fear. He could see it in her eye, in the tears that fell. Her face as well as her hair had streaks of blood in them.
Stein slowly tore his eyes away from the cowering woman and looked at his hands. So much blood... He dropped his scalpel, and it landed on the carpet, the blood a startling color against the white fabric. He could feel a single warm tear run down the side of his left cheek as he fell to his knees in pure hatred and disgust of himself. "Marie... I..." he was speechless. He had hurt the woman who had saved his life and who gave him a reason to fight for his sanity; she was now scarred for life. She could not love me now... Not after this. Stein thought sadly. He knew he would enter a state of immense depression if she left him, and this only made him feel worse. God, help me... What have I become?
Stein tried to face Marie, to make eye contact, but he couldn't bring hisself to. "I'm so sorry..." his voice that was once low and smooth was now quiet and afraid. What is she going to do...? He tried to figure out what to say for several long moments, wishing she would speak. "I know that you probably hate me," he began slowly, "but I want you to know that I am so sorry for putting you through this... I know that an apology will never suffice to ease the scars this memory will carry, so I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself even if you somehow could." Stein's voice broke as more tears fell.
He hadn't cried since his mother was murdered. Stein thought back to the memory of his eight year old self, wishing he could understand why seeing her blood fly everywhere was so horrifying to him. Blood, death and gore never disturbed him. The two formal are part of every day life, and the latter was something he thought of on a daily basis. Maybe it's because she was my mother...
Stein put his bloodied hands to his head and pulled his hair and growled in hatred of hisself. "You stupid animal... You fucking MONSTER!" Stein screamed to hisself. Marie jumped in startlement at the sound of his voice raising so quickly. She continued to cry silently in the corner, debating whether she should do anything or just wait for him to leave. That was NOT him. He didn't know what he was doing... Do something, Marie! Do something! she thought quickly.
She turned her head down slightly before she got on her feet and slowly creeped over to Stein. He obviously did not notice her approach him because he jumped and shot his head up when he heard her shaken voice. "Franken..." she trailed off. Stein's olive eyes were filled with despair and regret. His lower lip was quivering slightly, and his blood covered-hands were laying palm- up on his lap, shaking. Marie sat on her knees the same way he was and put her hands on his cheeks, wiping a tear from his face with her right thumb. "I know it wasn't you."
Stein only stared at her amber eye in amazement. "How could you," he stopped for a moment, trying to find his words, "How could you still even look at me...? I am a monster." he said, his voice filled with sadness and a bit of anger, as he turned his face toward the ground so she couldn't look at him.
"No." Marie said sternly as she pulled his face back up. "You're not. I don't know what caused you to lose control, but I am going to find out, and I am going to put an end to this." the fear that was once burning viciously in her voice was replaced by worry and confidence. Yes, there still was some hint of fear within her voice, but it was barely present.
"But how? I am a mad man, a psychotic freak that everyone knows to stay away from else they get cut open. I told you, the madness is part of me. How will you stop this beast that is me?" Stein asked quickly.
Marie only stared back into his olive green eyes. Her lips curled slightly in a smile as she said, "I will. You only need to trust me."
He searched her face for any other readable expressions, he wanted to learn how to figure out what people are feeling without using Soul Perception. He thought he found confidence and pain, but he wanted to be sure. Stein used his Soul Perception and examined her soul; It was in pure chaos as a civil war raged on. A part of her wanted to scream and run and give up, but there was something else, the exact opposite of what he saw. There was confidence, strength. He knew that she was determined to help him, and he knew that a determined Marie was always one of the surest things in this life.
"I trust you," he mumbled after he was sure of what he saw in her soul. Marie displayed a beautific, sad smile as her tears continued to fall. She leaned forward and kissed Stein's cheek as she snaked her arms around his slumped shoulders. Stein only collapsed into her arms and drank in her affection. He did not understand it, and he couldn't explain how much he'd changed in the last few weeks, but he now wanted her love. Love was something that was once unnecassery in his life; he could have gone his entire life without knowing it and it still woulnd't bother him. But now, in this moment, he actually needed her warmth.
"Marie," he said quietly.
"Yes?"
"Do you hate me?"
"No. God, no." she said hastily.
"Do you fear me?"
Marie pondered over his question for a short while, wondering of she should tell the truth or lie. "I... I am, but that does not mean I won't stay by your side until this is over."
"Why though...?" he asked slowly.
"Because..." Marie inhaled deeply. "Because I love you, Franken."
Stein stared into her single eye with disbelief. Even after this, she still loves me? How? But I think the real question is: Why haven't I told her how I feel? He searched his mind for what to say, wishing he had Spirit around to give him a few pointers. "Marie, I need you to know that just less than a month ago, I was a different man. I didn't feel things that I feel now. And I sure as hell know that I don't understand any of this. But I know that right now, I feel as if I... Need... you to survive. I can't grasp how a person could need some one like that, but I do. I feel as if without you, I won't have a purpose." Stein stopped. He knew what he was going to say next, but he wanted to make sure he knew what he was talking about. Screw it. "Marie, I think I love you."
Her eyes filled with tears again. Damn it! What did I say wrong? Don't women enjoy it when they learn that some one has affections for them like this? "I'm sorry if I said something to upset you..." his voice trailed off as Marie shook her head; a smile spread across her face.
"No, no. You didn't."
Bewilderment ran its course throughout his mind as he tried to figure out what was going on. Ah, I see. This is what some people call "happy tears." So, shouldn't I be happy? Stein smiled at her, and that caused her to smile. I find it amazing how she was just cowering in a corner telling me to stay away and is now smiling at me... But do I really love her? I think I do... I hope I do. Altough it seemed to be painful, seeing her so afraid of me like that is what really brought me back. Sure I noticed her after I had woken up, but seeing Marie cry in fear for her life is what forced me to think straight and not slip back into the madness. Stein's brow furrowed slightly as he pondererd over his thoughts, he knew that they were all true.
"Marie... there's something I want to tell you." Stein began. He was going to tell her what needed to be said.
"Hrmm?" Marie's head cocked a bit.
"I am only going to get worse, you know that. If this," he looked around the room and gestured slightly with his hands, "happens again, I don't know if I'll be able to come out of it before I-" he was cut off by Marie.
"No. You wouldn't hurt me." she said defiantly. Although there was a hint of doubt in her voice.
"Listen, the only reason why you are alive right now is because that man just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he hadn't have been here, it would have been your lower intestine that was pulled out." Stein stopped; he was getting too detailed and it was much too soon for things like that. But he still needed to make sure she got his point. Stein sighed and thought for a little while. He reached his left arm up and twisted the large iron bolt in his head. He continued to adjust it until he heard a click that was louder than all the others.
"My point is I am dangerous, Marie. I don't know when I will slip again, it could be at any time. And if you're here when I fall, what will happen to you?"
Marie shook her head slowly in defeat. "But, Franken... "
"No. You need to stay somewhere else so you are not in harm's way."
"But I need to stay with you! You may think I haven't noticed, but I know that I help keep you from losing control. If I leave, then what will happen to you? The madness will take over so much easier." Marie argued.
Stein had to admit she did have a point. There were countless times in the past few weeks where the madness began to take over, but she had brought him back. So... If I figure out what caused the madness to spike so intensely, I might have a chance at stopping it. But if I hurt Marie... Damn it. I've already chased her across the house with a scalpel and ripped a man's intestine out right in front of her. I've already scarred her enough. "Marie, I can't put you through anything else. You're already scarred for life because of me. The best thing for you would be to leave and live your life without me."
"Franken, I said no, and I meant it. I am NOT going to leave you like this. If there is any way I can help, I will do it. I know I may cry easily, but remember that I am a Death Scythe and I am very stubborn. There is no point in arugueing with me because you know it's true." Marie's voice was strong and affirmative, she knew how to persaude him perfectly. Stein only stared at her, trying to come up with a way to beat her arguement. But as she said, there was no point and he finally succumbed to his defeat.
"Alright, Marie. But you have to promise me one thing." Stein took a breath before he continued, "If I begin to behave in a strange way such as random laughter, me looking around the room a lot, me talking to myself and so on, I need you to run out of the house and find help. Someone like Spirit or Sid or even Shinigami." Stein took another long breath. "I just... I can't hurt you again, Marie. If I did... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. Well to be honest, I can't forgive myself now. But you get my point. So do you promise?"
Marie nodded slowly. "I promise." He knows that if I were to run at those moments, then there really isn't even a point to me staying. But if this is what it takes to stay by his side through this, I will.
Hey! Sorry if this chapter was boring, I just needed to cover some certain ground so I can press on with the story much clearer and easier. Oh and by the way, thanks for all the reviews! They all encourage me greatly and are one of the main reasons why I am still writing and have not abandoned this story. Thanks again for all the reviews and views! :) -Mikshizels