Shift Five:

Holly greeted Mike as she entered the station. "Hey, Happy Easter, Mike! Was the Easter bunny good to you?" she asked cheerily.

Mike smiled in reply and said, "No...but Peggy sure was."

"Why, Mike, I do believe that falls under the area of 'Kiss and Tell', doesn't it?" she teased.

Mike shook his head slightly and answered, "You can fish all you want, but that's all you're going to get. Just to change the subject, Passover has ended, right?"

She gave a dramatic sigh, and then grinned. "That's right. Donuts are back on the menu! I'd better get changed."

The shift began with a pre-emptive strike by the Phantom. As Holly opened her locker to get a new shirt after her regular shift at Station 18, she was drenched with another of Chet's water traps, which had been hooked up to her locker door. She looked down, letting the water drip from her face to the floor. She called loudly, "Thanks, Chet – I needed a shower anyway! Don't be surprised at anything the Easter bunny brings you today!" She grabbed a clean shirt, slammed her locker door, and went to change. As usual, Chet had drawn latrine duty. She barged into the washroom, winked at him, and then pushed him out into the view of the others. "Get the hell out!" she growled, barely able to suppress a grin.

Johnny gazed at the dumbfounded look on Chet's face and said, "Jeez, Chet, I think you're in trouble now. No telling what she'll do to you today. Maybe you can hide or something."

Chet affected a look of stunned surprise. "What'd I do?" he asked the world in general, noting Johnny's reaction in particular. Holly was right… This is gonna be sooo much fun! Gage will never know what hit him. Wait until tonight, my friend, wait until tonight.

-E!-

Holly came into the kitchen, after changing into a fresh shirt. Since she'd actually known what to expect, she had managed to take the full load of the water on her shirt, so at least she didn't have to towel off her hair this time. Not to mention that the water really had been refreshing. The angle of the spring really does affect the trajectory of the water. I'll have to pass that on to Chet.

Johnny poured a cup of coffee for himself, then asked, "You want some coffee? I just made a fresh pot," he offered.

She just managed to stop herself from backing away in disgust. "Uh, no thanks. I had some before leaving 16's." She leaned against the counter, and fished a bag of powdery tablets from her pocket. "Hey, Johnny, I got another trick from my brother. Check this out – one of these little dye pills in Chet's milk, and 'Rainbow Boy' will have a little breakfast treat to go along with his lovely shirt. It won't poison him or anything, but it will look kind of pretty. Hey, it's used for dyeing Easter eggs, so it can't be all bad, right?"

Johnny replied dubiously, "It's a good idea, Holly, but Chet never drinks milk until late afternoon. Do you think you can wait that long?"

She smiled brilliantly. "Trust me, Johnny, I've waited much longer than that on occasion to land a fish I'm trying to hook. I'll just give him a little more line, then reel him in."

-E!-

Late that afternoon, Holly poured herself a glass of milk. "Anyone else want some milk?" she asked.

"Sure, Holly, I'll take a glass," replied Chet.

She surreptitiously dropped one of the green dye tablets into his milk as she handed it over to him. It started to foam and turned the milk a bright green.

"Just a little gift from the Easter bunny, Chet," she smirked.

"Great, just great. Ha, ha. Pretty lame, really – much more like St. Patrick's day, if you ask me. I was gonna offer you a donut as a peace offering, but now I'm not so sure. These are the best in town, too, from 'Cap McCoy's Finest Donuts'." Chet waved the box of donuts in her direction. "Boston cream, too," he said enticingly.

She looked at the donuts longingly. "You've been talking to Animal, haven't you?" she accused. At his answering smirk, she selected one of the donuts, seemingly at random. The others in the room had no way of knowing that he and Holly had carefully choreographed both tricks. She replied, "Thanks, Chet. No hard feelings?" and took a big bite of the donut. She screwed up her face and immediately spat out into the garbage and whirled on him.

"EWWWW! Chet, what the hell did you put into these, anyway?" she said angrily.

"Just a little shaving cream, partner," he replied with a vicious grin.

"Don't you know that tampering with Boston cream donuts is a felony punishable by death?" she growled, advancing on him and brandishing the offending donut. He backed up until his shoulders were against the wall. Quite deliberately, she squeezed the donut so that its contents splattered all over the front of his shirt. He scooped up some of the residue and smeared it on her face. It dripped down the front of her shirt. No one else in the room was close enough to see the winks they exchanged.

Hank had had enough. "All right, children! Go clean up, and then play nice for the rest of the shift. It's Easter, for Pete's sake! Time to forgive and forget," he emphasized. "Do I make myself understood?"

Holly glanced at Chet out of the corner of her eye and replied contritely in a little-girl voice, "Okay, Dad, we won't bug each other any more, right Chet?" She nudged him in the ribs with her elbow.

Chet stammered, "Uh, right. Just keep out of my way, Holly, or else," he said in mock seriousness.

Hank quirked an eyebrow. "Chet," he repeated, "Play nice."

"Right, Cap."

Once they were out of sight, in the locker room, they exchanged sneaky grins, then grabbed fresh shirts. After they'd changed, Chet whispered, "Did you get the stuff?"

She looked shocked. "Of course I did! Did you get enough spring traps rigged up?"

He bowed floridly. "Naturally. I got the fishing net set up like the spider web, too. It's in my truck. What about the spiders?"

Her face fell. "No, I couldn't get any spiders. Will a garden snake do?"

Chet laughed quietly. "That will do just fine – Gage hates snakes. Where is it?" he asked, looking around.

"It's at Katya and Andy's place. I'll just give her a call, and she can bring it over later tonight. What time is zero hour?"

Chet smoothed his mustache, considering. "What do you think about eleven-thirty? There's a Columbo double feature tonight that we'll probably watch, and we'll probably hit the sack at about eleven or so."

She nodded. "Perfect. I'll just go a bit earlier – I can always use the medication excuse."

Chet frowned and asked, "How's your leg feeling, anyway?"

She grimaced. "It still hurts like hell, but I'm hoping it will improve once the stitches come out. Captain Steele kicked me off the next shift, after what happened yesterday."

Chet asked in concern, "What happened?"

She sighed in frustration. "We had a kid get himself trapped in a fence yesterday, and I kind of got my leg caught on a nail getting him out. I didn't actually tear anything, but the damn thing was itching so much that I had to scratch it, and I kind of ripped out a couple of stitches. Katya and Animal had to take me to Rampart to get it fixed up. Can you imagine, a trip to the hospital and back in the squad while they do a supply run, with a paramedic on either side of you lecturing you about your stupidity? Anyway, Doctor Early ratted on me to Captain Steele, and, uh, 'suggested' that I get the stitches out on Tuesday, which is my normal shift there. Sooooo, he pulled rank on me, and made me take a sick day."

"Does Captain Stanley know?" Chet asked.

She looked sheepishly up at the ceiling and whispered, "Not from me, he doesn't. I think Captain Steele forgot to call him, so I'm not making any waves. Don't you dare tell him, either."

-E!-

"You can? Katya, that's great. Okay, I'll meet you outside in half an hour...Yes, I know what to do. I'll be careful with it...her? How can you tell it's a female?" Holly listened for a minute, rolled her eyes, then said, "Yes, I'll bring her back to you tomorrow when the shift is over. Thanks, Katya. See you in a bit...bye." She hung up the telephone, then turned to Chet and said, "It's all set. She's going to get the snake and bring it, I mean her, over now. I just have to give her some milk before bedtime, and make sure that Johnny doesn't hurt her."

Chet smiled and he and Holly exchanged a 'high five'.

Mike cleared his throat behind them. "Excuse me, but I think a snake is taking things a bit far."

Chet and Holly whirled in surprise. "Mike! How long have you been standing there?" asked Holly, looking as if she'd been caught with her hand in a cookie jar.

Mike folded his arms across his chest, cocked his head to the side and said calmly, "Long enough to know there's something you don't want Captain Stanley to know. I think that gives me a little... leverage, don't you?"

Chet said ruefully, "Busted, Holly. Okay, Mike, what do we have to do?"

Mike put a comradely arm around both their shoulders. "Right. To start with, no snakes. The spider web is okay, the Jell-O cannon is okay, too. For the sake of morale, I'm even willing to get my shirt messed up along with everyone else's – you can keep the Jell-O traps in the lockers tomorrow. But that's it. Understood?" he said quietly, but firmly.

They both nodded. Chet asked in puzzlement, "Why, Mike? If you've known all along, why did you keep silent?"

"Well, Chet, the Phantom certainly has a place in helping keep things lighter around here, even if Johnny always seems to be the target. For the past couple of weeks, Johnny's had a bit of a break from that routine, and he's starting to get a bit complacent. That's making him a bit too cocky, and that's not good for the station. So, in the interests of keeping things running smoothly – go get him, kids," he finished with a smile.

Holly looked at him with new respect in her eyes. "You know, Mike, you're going to make a wonderful captain someday, you really are." She glanced at Chet, who was nodding in agreement. "Okay, we have a deal. Thanks – and don't worry. I'll call Katya back and get her to keep 'Zelda' home."

Mike said, "I'll be keeping my eye on you, Holly. If the leg gets to be too much, just let me know." He gestured to the phone. Holly placed the call, then she and Chet started to prepare the trap for Johnny.

-E!-

"Enjoy the rest of the movie, guys – I'm turning in a bit early," said Holly, rising from her place on the couch.

"Don't you want to see the end of the film?" asked Roy.

Holly yawned and replied, "Roy, it's a Columbo movie. He'll solve the crime and the killer will be arrested at the end. It'll be on in repeats soon enough. Besides, my leg is sending me some signals that are pretty hard to ignore. Nighty-night, everyone."

As they bade her good night, Holly's mind was racing as she ran over the steps for the double trap and checked the appropriate equipment. All I need to do now is check the aim of the cannon. The trigger mechanism is well-hidden in my bed, and the cannon is just at the edge of the curtains. The spiderweb is already in place, and it will drop just before the cannon starts firing. It would have been a lot more fun with the snake, but I guess Mike has a point. Still, when I try this at Station 16, I'll be sure to borrow a little surprise for Animal.

-E!-

"I'm telling you, Johnny, that Columbo is a genius! He's the greatest detective ever!" Chet said with enthusiasm, as the rest of the shift turned in.

Johnny snorted contemptuously, "Chet, it's a television program! The guy is an actor. Real detectives don't work that way."

Holly gave a soft chuckle. No, real detectives work like Mike Stoker. How did he find out so much, anyway?

As they settled in for the night, Chet padded past, ostensibly to get a drink of water. He lightly tapped Holly's bed, clearing his throat. She readied the Jell-O and loaded the cannon. Chet made much more noise returning to bed than was strictly necessary, but it gave Holly the cue she needed.

Three people silently began a countdown, then...

"What the hell is going on?!" shouted Johnny as the fishing-line web dropped on him. No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the Jell-O cannon went into operation, bombarding him with small cubes of Jell-O. He was so tangled up in the 'spiderweb' that he couldn't evade the Jell-O. He began cursing as he tried to disentangle himself. "Dammit! Chet! Holly! You'll pay for this!"

As Hank snapped the lights on, he could only stare in disbelief at the sight before his eyes. He watched silently as five more Jell-O cubes were lofted from behind the curtain where Holly's bed was situated, and landed, quivering, on top of the trapped paramedic. He looked at Johnny struggling to get free of the net, and then he directed his gaze up to the nearly invisible rigging that Holly and Chet had set up to drop the net in the first place.

Roy and Mike were collapsed on their beds, helpless with laughter. Johnny's face was getting redder and redder. He finally succeeded in getting out of the web. He stood up, his face furious, and moved threateningly toward a grinning Chet. Captain Stanley's voice stopped him dead in his tracks. "Gage, no! Kelly, Ramsey, in my office, NOW!"

They sheepishly followed their fuming captain, avoiding Johnny's angry stare. Hank firmly slammed the door, and then sat down wearily at his desk, cradling his head in his hands. "Why me?" he implored. "Why?"

Chet asked tentatively, "Uh, Cap?"

"Shut up, Kelly, I'm trying to think." He paused, and then said, "All right. The first thing I want you two to do is go clean up that mess. Then dismantle everything you've rigged up. Then I want to see you back here. Get moving, now!"

"Yes, sir!" replied Holly crisply. She and Chet scuttled out of the office, making sure to shut the door. As they exchanged glances, they were surprised to hear a small explosion of laughter from behind the closed door. They grinned, then wiped the smirks off their faces as they headed back to the dorm.

They quickly cleaned the mess while Johnny muttered about revenge, his eyes narrowed as he glared at Holly and Chet. Roy and Mike just sat back and watched, being very careful not to get involved. As they took apart the rigging that had held the fishing web in place, Johnny stalked to the washroom in disgust. The atmosphere in the dorm immediately lightened. Roy asked, "How did the two of you manage to put aside your own differences long enough to come up with this collaboration?"

Chet replied earnestly, "We just realized that everyone else, especially Gage, was having more fun than we were. So, we took some steps..."

"A little too far, don't you think?" asked Roy.

Chet snorted, "We didn't go quite as far as we originally planned..."

Holly hissed, "Shut up, Chet! Do you want to get us in more trouble than we already are?"

Roy looked at them speculatively, but said nothing. Johnny returned, flounced into bed without looking at anyone, then turned his back on the other and pointedly pulled the covers over his head. Holly and Chet gathered all the paraphernalia from their tricks and headed to the Captain's office.

Hank looked at them silently for so long that Chet started to fidget. "Kelly, quit that. Okay, the pair of you. Here's the drill: Chet, you're on latrine duty for a month. Holly, I'm calling Captain Steele on Tuesday to recommend the same thing for you. Any questions?"

Holly stammered, "Uh, Cap... I…I won't be on duty Tuesday. But you can go ahead and call him anyway – I'm sorry, Cap. I guess things got a bit out of hand..."

Hank looked at her. "I think that's a bit of an understatement, don't you? And exactly why won't you be on duty Tuesday?"

She squirmed under his gaze, then stared down at the floor and confessed, "Uhmmm…I kind of had a bit of an accident on shift yesterday, and I had to get more stitches in the leg. Dr. Early wants to take them all out on Tuesday, so Captain Steele kind of, er, 'suggested' that I take the day off. I don't know what he's so worried about."

Hank sighed. "I think I do, though. Okay, I'll get in touch with him, anyway. Now do you two think you can go to sleep without trying any more funny stuff? Because if you do, I'll have your butts in a sling for the rest of your lives. Understood?"

They both nodded solemnly.

"Dismissed. Now get to bed."

-E!-

As the 'B' shift relieved them at Station 51, the 'A' shift discovered the last of the tricks. Holly grabbed Chet's arm and said, "Nuts! I forgot about the lockers!"

Chet grimaced at the furious yells from the locker room, then turned and asked her in all seriousness, "Just how quickly do you think we can run?"

-E!-E!-E!-

Author's notes: This is a revision of a story I wrote originally about fifteen years ago. I've got four OCs involved, including three female firefighters (two of whom are paramedics, which I know is non-canon). Although there weren't many female firefighters during the period the show ran, there certainly were some, and I'd like to think that our fellas at 51s weren't too chauvinistic. I joined the reserves in 1978, so I've experienced first-hand the general climate towards women in non-traditional male-dominated positions, especially during the show's time period, but I didn't have too many problems ignoring the slurs and attitudes, and becoming one of 'the boys'. Probably, the fact that I have three brothers and no sisters helped get my head in the right place for some of the things I ran into along the way…